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《布蘭丁城堡》
第一季 第一集
真不好意思 韋爾比洛夫德
I do apologise, Wellbeloved!
是皇后放的 老爺
It was the Empress, m'lord.
這樣啊
Oh, there you are!
消化順暢 神志清醒
Sound digestion and a clear conscience.
克拉倫斯
'Clarence?'
你究竟是怎麼做到的
How the deuce did you do that?
聲音跟我妹妹康妮的一樣
Sounds like my sister Connie!
安吉拉又在哭了
Angela is in tears. Again.
-誰 -你的外甥女
- Erm...? - Your niece.
距離肥豬展覽還有兩周的時間 康妮
Two weeks to go till the Fat Pig Show, Connie,
瞧瞧它
and look at her!
我們對你滿意嗎 很滿意
Are we pleased with you? Yes, we are...
非常滿意
oh, yes, we are!
等你用你那愚蠢的對話
When you have finished irradiating that pig
讚揚完那頭傾國傾城的豬之後
with your imbecilic conversation,
我要跟你談一談
I would like a word.
格利高裡·帕斯洛-帕斯爵士的豬
Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe's pig,
叫什麼名字 "女王"嗎
what's her name? The Queen?
在你看來 它沒有
She's not, in your opinion...
更肥吧
fatter...?
皇后會拿冠軍的 您瞧好吧
Gah, Empress'll be the winner, you'll see.
就像去年和前年一樣
Same as last year, and the year before that.
我的老天 親愛的朋友
Lord, bless my soul, my dear fellow!
你這是要去教堂啊
You're dressed for church!
我要去做禮拜 老爺
I am going to worship, Sir.
在山羊羽毛教堂
At the Church of The Goat and Feathers.
好吧 幫我做個禱告
Ah! Well, say a prayer for me.
謝謝您 老爺
Thank you, Sir.
記住 別扯那些歪詩了
None of your little recitations, mind.
褲子要穿在腿上 蓋住肚子
Trousers on legs and billowy portions,
西裡爾·韋爾比洛夫德
Cyril Wellbeloved.
別套在頭上
Not the head.
我的小妹莉莉是皮卡迪利街上的妓女*
*Oh, my little sister Lily is a tart in Piccadilly
我的媽媽 也是妓女 運氣更糟*
*My mother, she's another, worse the luck
我的奶奶也是賣屁股的*
*My granny hawks her arse all round the Elephant and Castle
她什麼都願意 只要有*
*There's nothing she won't do to get a...
這就足夠了
That'll suffice!
在公共場合酗酒
A disgusting display of public drunkenness!
書記員 最多能判他多久
Clerk, what's the maximum sentence the court will permit me to impose?
-七天 -十四天 定案
- Seven days. - Fourteen days. Sold.
真他媽扯淡
Oh, bliddy NORA.
對法庭不敬 再加一天
Plus another day for profanity.
但什羅普郡展覽快到了
But it's the Shropshire Show,
格利高裡爵士 法官大人
Sir Gregory, Sir, your enormity.
我得把老爺的皇后伺候得又壯又肥
His Lordship needs me to keep Empress good and fat...
你家老爺還真是不走運 把他帶走
Too ruddy bad for His Lordship. Take him down!
給你 快吃
Here you are. Eat up.
適合女王享用的大餐
A repast fit for a Queen.
通用訓豬令
親愛的 我求你了 就吃這一小勺
Sweetie pie. I entreat you... Just a little spoonful here...
這是香蕉啊
But it's banana...
親愛的 這是香蕉啊
Darling, it's banana.
西裡爾·韋爾比洛夫德都是餵香蕉的
Cyril Wellbeloved swears by banana...
可惡 韋爾比洛夫德到底在哪
Dash it! Where is Wellbeloved?
被拘留了 老爺
Been unavoidably detained, my lord.
他又犯事被抓了
He hasn't got himself locked up, has he?
他怎麼偏偏挑了這麼個時候坐牢
This is no time for Wellbeloved to be slacking about in custody!
我們需要他
We need him!
就在這會兒 格利高裡爵士的豬
Sir Gregory's pig BALLOONS in volume
肯定像氣球一樣漲起來了
even as we speak.
比奇 這是緊急狀況
Beach, this is an emergency.
我允許你恐慌
You have my permission to panic
併到處亂跑亂叫
and run about screaming.
好的 老爺
Very good, my lord.
拜託 赫徹姆勳爵
Oh, Lord Heacham!
我無法理解
I cannot understand the
你怎麼不明白 別碰我
difficulty you are having... Don't touch me!
如果你碰我 我就尖叫
If you touch me I shall scream.
我是不會嫁給你的
..Grasping the fact that I am not going to marry you.
你真是個天真的小傻瓜
You're a silly little nonsense, aren't you?
現在 過來親親我
Now, come here and kiss me.
可憐的小東西
Poor little scrap.
把它帶到什羅普郡肥豬展上
Put her in the Shropshire Show, calling her fat,
人們準會笑掉大牙
people will laugh.
克拉倫斯
Clarence...
克拉倫斯
Clarence!
克拉倫斯 我有事找你
Clarence, I am looking for you!
你在哪裡
Where are you?
我有話跟你說
I want to talk to you!'
克拉倫斯
Clarence?'
康妮 太好了 聽到你叫我了
Ah, Connie, splendid! Erm... Heard you calling.
找不到你 我就想到了一個很好的點子
Wasn't able to find you, so I thought, what a capital idea to...
把僕人的鞋子到處亂丟嗎
Fling the servants' shoes around?
克拉倫斯 我要跟你說件事
Clarence. I NEED to talk to you!
把嘴閉上 這樣就不會說廢話了
Keep lips shut! It stops the drivel coming out!
安吉拉要跟赫徹姆勳爵解除婚約
What are you going to do about Angela
這事你打算怎麼處理
breaking off her engagement to Lord Heacham?
赫徹姆 格利高裡爵士的侄子
Heacham! Sir Gregory's nephew!
真是天造地設的一對
It's an eminently suitable match.
可她偏偏喜歡上了
But instead, she professes love
那個招人煩的吉米·貝爾福德
for the unpalatable Jimmy Belford.
我喜歡那小子
Oh, I like him!
但他們不能結婚 這就不用說了
But they can't get married. It's out of the question.
他在非洲 澳大利亞
He's in Africa. Australia.
-美國 -對
- America. - Yes.
他去當牛仔了 我都不知道什麼是"牛仔"
He found employment as a "Cowboy" - whatever that is -
但他現在回英格蘭了
but he is now back in England.
貝爾福德毫無前途可言
Belford is without prospects!
嫁給他是萬萬不可的
The marriage to him is not possible!
康妮 我的外甥女太多了
Connie, I've got so many nieces.
你就不能自己處理一下安吉拉的事嗎
Can't you sort it out?
我也想 要不是因為長子繼承制
Well, of course I could! But for primogeniture,
我能把整個家族都弄得井井有條
I could sort out the entire family.
但誰讓你生下來是個男人
But it is you who were born a man,
或者說近乎是個男人 這事得由你來做
or a vague approximation of one. You have to do it.
你要去哪兒
Where are you going?
如果我想打敗格利高裡爵士
If I'm to defeat Sir Gregory,
就得把皇后餵肥了
I need to inflate the Empress.
你這樣拿下巴指著我也沒用
And it's no good pointing that chin at me, either.
別再操心那隻豬了 管好你的家吧
Forget the pig. Administrate the family.
更糟的是 弗雷迪已經在路上了
Oh, and to top it all, Freddie is on his way.
是你兒子
Your son.
這樹也開得太快了
The tree was travelling far too fast.
還逆行呢
And on the wrong side of the road!
-父親 -白蘿蔔的熱量
- Guv'nor! - Calorific bonus of the turnip...
-還好嗎 -只剩兩周了 弗雷德裡克
- All well? - Two weeks, Frederick.
然後就全完了
Then it's all over.
韋弗爾是公認的權威 但他也沒給出答案
Whiffle is the recognised authority, but he has no answer.
我試過泔水 腐爛的梨子
I've tried slops, rotting pears.
它喜歡生了蛆的水果
She loves the fruit that has seen the maggot.
-原來您說的是皇后 -當然了
- We're talking now about the Empress. - Of course!
我的豬病了 它不肯吃東西
M'pig's ill! She won't eat!
上帝
Oh, God!
太糟了
That's terrible.
你什麼時候開始關心它的食慾了
Since when did you take an interest in her appetite?
從我出了五十磅 賭它能拿到肥豬獎時起
Since I bet 50 quid on her being fattest pig!
父親 是這樣的 我去了古怪街
Look, Guv'nor, fact is, I find myself in Queer Street.
我給粉紅貓俱樂部的一場表演投了點錢
I put a bit of crinkle into a show at The Pink Pussy Club,
因為表演明星是我喜歡的一位小姐
the star being a lady I regard rather highly,
結果這家俱樂部倒閉了