回娘家
Going Home
文 嚴曉霞 /譯 王衛強
By Yan Xiaoxia / Tr. WANG Weiqiang
在農村，女兒長到十七、八歲，便成了爹娘的一塊心病。於是，四處託媒人，唯恐女兒嫁不出去。嫁出去的女兒便成了潑出去的水。然而，無論這汪水是否溶入幸福的港灣，都會義無反顧的思念著一片盛滿親情的海，這海就是娘家。回娘家，對於農村女人是一年之中難得的節日。
In the countryside, when a daughter arrived at the age of seventeen or eighteen, she would become a nuisance to her parents. Therefore, they sought the help of matchmakers everywhere, so that their daughter could have a suitable would-be husband. Although the married daughter was thought of as poured-out water, she would always regard her parents' home as the most precious place. When she encountered happy or unhappy things, she could always return home. So the yearly return to the parents' home had become a rare occasion for women in the rural areas according to the traditions.
當年，她們多是穿著新嫁衣，卻流著淚水一步一回頭離開娘家門的。此後，白髮的爹娘每想起女兒離家時的淚眼便一陣陣揪心，娘的牽掛常如手中捻出的絲線悠長而纖細。
When they got married, they left their parents' home wearing new wedding dresses, with tears in their eyes, and turned their heads step by step. After that, the grey-haired parents would feel heartache when they recalled the tears at their daughters' departure. The mothers' care for the daughters was like the thread made by their hands, slender but long.
第一次回娘家，是結婚後三天「回門」。娘家親朋滿座，迎接女兒回來。等女兒女婿踏進門，酒席才能開始，然而女兒一般不會坐在席桌上，她會倚在灶前扯著風箱的母親身邊，悄悄地敘說這三日來公婆、小姑乃至女婿對她的好壞來，若是碰見了刁鑽的婆婆，便會在母親面前委屈地哭一回，但不能讓親友知道的，尤其是那新郎官。眼明的嫂子們看著妹妹紅腫的眼睛便什麼都知道了。午飯時，她們在新郎官的飯菜上大做文章，辣椒麵包子、鹽包子和酸得掉牙、鹹得發苦的麵條一齊上桌，逼他吃下，把所有的仇恨都發洩在這個羞羞怯怯身披紅被面的男人身上。飯罷，村子裡愛熱鬧的嫂子們早已堵在門口，手裡拿著爐火膛裡的煤灰、紅染料等伺機收拾新郎官。若女兒在婆家沒有受氣，歡歡喜喜回的家門，娘和嫂子會從後門將女婿送走；倘若女兒是紅了眼睛回來的，娘會說沒有梯子、後牆太高等，以各種理由搪塞，讓村姑們為女兒出口氣。但新女婿是不能惱怒的，否則會在村人的唾罵聲中離開，說是肚量太小，以後再來嶽父家，臉上無光，傳回自己村子，便會成了笑料。
A bride's first visit to her parents' house was often called "going home", which took place on the third day after the wedding. Friends and relatives would gather at her parents' house to welcome their daughter back. It was not until the daughter and son-in-law set foot in the house that the banquet would begin. However, the daughter would not usually sit at the table. She would lean against her mother, who would pull the bellows in front of the stove, and quietly talk about the good and bad treatment she had received from her in-laws at her husband's home over the past three days. If she had a sly mother-in-law, she would cry sadly to her mother, but she could not let her relatives and friends know this, especially the groom. Sister-in-laws with keen eyes would know the secret at the sight of their sister's red and swollen eyes. At lunch, they would play some pranks on the groom's meals. They would serve him chili- and salt-stuffed steamed buns and sour and salty noodles, and force him to eat all. The purpose of doing this was to vent all their deliberate dissatisfaction with this shy young man who wore a decorative red quilt cover. After lunch, some mischievous sister-in-laws of the village would have already blocked the door, holding coal ash and red dye in their hands, and waiting for the opportunity to teach the groom a lesson. If the daughter was not bullied at her husband's house and returned to her own parents' home happily, her mother and sister-in-laws would send the groom away through the back door. If the daughter came back red-eyed, her mother gave excuses for various reasons, saying that there was no ladder for climbing over the high back wall, and allowing the village girls to take revenge for the daughter. But the new groom should not get angry. Otherwise, he would leave with the ridicule and scolding of the villagers, and they would think he was too narrow-minded. The next time he visited his father-in-law's house, he would lose prestige and become a laughingstock in his own village.
農村結婚一般都是臘月底、正月初。三天「回門」後，第二次回娘家，是父母接女兒回來過正月十五。一來女兒第一次在別人家過年，心中空空落落，農村人講「小初一、大十五」，元宵節早早接女兒回來過個大年，二來，女兒出嫁時親朋都去了，唯有父母是不能去的，趁此機會看看女兒的新房，也交待親家母，自己女兒在家寵慣壞了，什麼都不會做，讓她多擔待。若是精明且通情達理的婆婆，會說：娃小，我會像待親閨女一樣疼她。兩親家的手便會友好地握在一起，女兒也會幸福地微笑；若是厲害且胡攪蠻纏的婆婆，會說：不會學麼？誰不是從那過來的？娘便回到女兒房中悄悄抹淚，為女兒的來日擔憂，女兒多日的委屈便化做淚水流滿臉龐。高興不高興，女兒都將跟著父母回家的，在娘家過最後一個元宵節，以後便要自己支撐小家過日子了。
Marriage in rural areas took place generally at the end of the twelfth lunar month or the beginning of the first lunar month. After a bride's first "going home" three days after the wedding, the bride was taken back by her parents to spend the fifteenth day of the first lunar month together with them, which was called the second "going home". Firstly, the daughter spent the New Year's Day in someone else's house for the first time, which made the parents feel quite empty-hearted. As is said by the locals, "the fifteenth day of the first lunar month matters more than the first day in the eyes of newly married daughter". Secondly, when the daughter married, her relatives and friends could go to the wedding, but only her parents were not allowed. Taking this opportunity, they could see their daughter's new home with their own eyes, and tell her mother-in-law in person that their daughter was overindulged at home and knew very little about housework. If her mother-in-law was smart and reasonable, she would say, "She is still young, and I will love her as much as I love my daughter." The hands of the two in-laws would be held together in a friendly way, and the daughter would also smile happily. If the mother-in-law was fierce and importunate, she would say, "Can't she learn to do things? Who didn't come from where your daughter is now? " The mother would retreat to her daughter's room and wipe away tears quietly. She would worry about her daughter's future, and her daughter's grievances for many days would turn into tears which would flow all over her face. Happy or not, the daughter would go home with her parents to spend the last Lantern Festival in her mother's home, and then begin to support her new family.
第三次回娘家，一般是娘接女兒回來。聽說女兒有喜了，娘幾乎是一路小跑到女兒家裡，婆婆一般會依了娘的。這一次回娘家，是女人一生中最幸福的時光，新的希望孕育在心中，一日三餐有娘細心調理，不像在婆婆家日日親自進廚房，做好飯菜還須雙手送到公婆房中，總怕味道不可口，而那小姑更是刁蠻，一般是遣不動的，更不用說嘗了。飯罷茶餘，娘會拿出早已扯好的花布來，和嫂子們一起為孩子做小衣裳。懷抱著娘泡的糖水、曬著娘家門前永遠溫暖的太陽，看著娘和嫂子手中的花衣裳，多想在娘家住下去呀，可那性急的女婿已催了好幾次。娘總說：「算著呢，總不會讓她把孩子生在娘家的。」
The third "going home" usually occurred when the mother took her daughter home. On hearing the news of her daughter's pregnancy, her mother would trot all the way to her daughter's house, eager to see her immediately. The mother-in-law would willingly agree to let daughter-in-law go to her parents' house. This time, going back to her mother's house would be the happiest time in a woman's life. With the new hope conceived deep in her heart, she didn't have to care about three meals a day, and she needn't go to the kitchen in person to prepare food, which she had to do in her new home. There, she not only had to cook, but also presented it with both her hands to her mother-in-law, being always afraid that it would not taste so good. Her husband's sister was so unruly that she often made trouble on purpose, not to mention eating delicious food carefully. After each meal, the mother would take out the flowery cloth that she had bought previously, and would get the sister-in-laws together to make small clothes for the baby to be born. Holding her mother's sugar water, basking in the ever-warm sun in front of her mother's house, and looking at the colorful clothes in the hands of her mother and sister-in-laws, she hoped to stay in her mother's house for quite a long time. However, her impatient husband had already urged her several times. At that, mother would have to say, "There is still time. We will not let her give birth to your child at our home."
生孩子坐月子，最想的是娘，夢裡都睡在娘家溫暖的土炕上。被孩子吸乾了奶水的肚子常會咕咕叫，卻不好開口給婆婆說餓了。婆婆會按時把多放了幾勺油或多打了一個雞蛋的麵條端上來，這已令人感激不盡了。娘只能在孩子出生十天、二十天、滿月時來三次。每時每刻都在盼著娘來，娘會帶來好吃的，並給孩子帶來新衣裳，幫她給孩子換上，把娘兒倆收拾的乾乾淨淨、利利落落。每次娘來，都要帶些烤黃的乾糧、蒸好的油饃，還有一罐婆婆做不出來的臊子肉。娘給婆婆叮嚀了，吃麵時給女兒多放些。可是每到吃飯時，饞嘴的女婿便端著飯碗晃悠過來，偷吃了一回又一回。往日對媳婦的蠻橫一掃而光。一來，媳婦為自己受苦受累生孩子，二來這一個月跟媳婦吃香的喝甜的。
During childbirth and confinement, the daughter thought of her mother most. Even in her dreams, she was sleeping on the heated kang (bed) of her mother's house. The stomach that had been sucked empty by the baby would often growl, but she felt reluctant to tell her mother-in-law that she was hungry. Her mother-in-law would send her noodles with a few more spoonfuls of oil or an extra egg, for which she had been very grateful. After the child was born, the mother could only come three times, namely the tenth day, the twentieth day and the full moon day. The daughter had been looking forward to the arrival of her mother. Her mother would bring delicious food and new clothes to her child, help her put them on, and clean her and her baby. Every time her mother arrived, she would bring some pancakes, oily steamed bread and a can of fried minced meat that her mother-in-law couldn't make. Mother would ask her mother-in-law to put more fried minced meat in her noodles. However, when eating, the greedy husband would come over with his rice bowl, stealing her meat again and again. His arrogance in the past had been completely eliminated. On the one hand, his wife had painstakingly given birth to a child for him. On the other hand, he could enjoy all the delicious foods with his wife this month.
第四次回娘家，是孩子過完滿月，農家人稱之為「挪窩」。好一個溫馨的「窩」，被娘用鋪的厚實鬆軟的架子車「挪」回娘家，並把這一月度日如年的苦日子一路放飛，娘比上次更疼女兒，變著樣子做好吃的，讓女兒的臉蛋滋潤起來，奶水多起來，讓小外孫胖起來。
The married daughter would return to her mother's house for the fourth time after the child was one month old, which was called "moving nest" by the local farmers. What a warm "nest" it was when she was "moved" back to her mother's house on a thick and soft handcart, completely free of the miserable days of confinement over the last month. Mother loved her daughter more than last time, and she tried every means to make delicious foods, so that her daughter's face could glisten, her daughter's milk could increase, and her little grandson could grow fatter.
A woman would go back to her mother's home many times in her life, but only these four times were the sweetest, and her mother-in-law would not show an ill temper. It seemed that this was the legal time for a married woman to return to her parents' home. Later, her mother-in-law would make things difficult, saying that she was avoiding housework and wandering around. Therefore, in order to return to her mother's home, she should get up early, tidy up her home first, and then rush to her mother's home. She must go back to her husband's house before dusk. Under normal circumstances, she could not spend the night at her mother's house. On the one hand, she missed her husband and children. On the other hand, other people in her mother's village would think she quarreled with her husband and was driven out. On this hurried day, she would have a hearty talk with her mother, and starch the coats and wash the beddings for her parents, thus turning her caring over many days into a busy figure in her mother's yard.
（未完待續）
（To be continued）
【2003年發表於《讀者》《延河》雜誌】【Originally published in the journals of Readers and Yanhe in 2003】
（配圖來自網絡）