Here are some short and funny quotes about success:
1. "Success is just a word, but I'm pretty sure it's one of the best words in the dictionary."
2. "I'm not saying I'm successful, but my cat has been watching me for years and still doesn't know what I do for a living."
3. "The secret to success? Nobody knows. But I think it involves buying a lot of coffee."
4. "Success is just a matter of being in the right place at the right time... and having a good haircut."
5. "I'm not saying I've achieved success, but I have managed to turn my life into a Netflix series with over 1 million views."
6. "The definition of success? It's when your cat starts giving you high-fives for being awesome."
7. "If at first you don't succeed, try again... and then give up and watch TV because honestly, who has time to keep trying?"
8. "Success is all about making a million mistakes and having the last one be the right one."
9. "I'm not saying I'm successful, but my favorite exercise is just standing in front of the mirror and flexing... for hours."
10. "The secret to success? It's called 'winging it'... or just pretending you know what you're doing until someone tells you otherwise."
11. "If you want to be successful, stop trying so hard and start loving the ride. Unless the ride is a rollercoaster, in which case hold on tight."
12. "The only thing more exhausting than chasing success is actually achieving it... then having to deal with all the responsibilities that come with it."
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
I'd be happy to provide you with some short, funny, and motivating quotes. Here are a few:
1. "Believe you can, and you're halfway there. The other half is just as hard."
2. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And also 50% of the ones you do take. So just shoot already!"
3. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the courage to continue that counts... and also having a good Netflix show to binge."
4. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
5. "The only way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
6. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."
7. "Life is like a game of Jenga. You never know when the whole thing will come crashing down, but that's what makes it fun!"
8. "The biggest risk is not taking any risk... and also running out of snacks in your desk drawer."
9. "Do something today that your future self will thank you for. Like buying more coffee creamer."
10. "You're never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
Here are some very short, funny quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people don't know they're crazy. That's what makes them crazy."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "Wine: because adulting is hard."
5. "My life is a mess, but at least the dishes are clean."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
7. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen... and also don't touch the stove or the oven or the microwave..."
8. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, repeat."
9. "My cat is plotting against me. That's why she's always sleeping."
10. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not an evening person either. I'm just a 'whenever it feels like it' person."
11. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you limes, make margaritas."
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
13. "My brain is 90% useless information and 10% 'don't forget to buy milk'."
14. "When you're having a bad day, remember: it's not the end of the world... but it could be if you don't get out of bed."
15. "Life hack: just pretend like you have your life together. People will think you do."
I've got a bunch of those!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like pizza – even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
2. "Adulting is just pretending to be responsible until you're 30 and realize you're not fooling anyone."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "Life hack: just add coffee."
5. "My life is like a game of Jenga – one wrong move and it all comes crashing down."
6. "What's the difference between a noun and a verb? Not much, because most days I feel like a noun, too."
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
8. "Life is short, but beer is forever."
9. "My life motto: 'If it ain't broke, don't fix it – just pretend it's still 2015.'"
10. "Procrastination is my superpower – I can put off anything for hours!"
11. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm having a discussion with someone who doesn't know what they're talking about."
12. "My life philosophy: 'If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried'."
Hope these short funny quotes about life made your day a little brighter!
I've got some funny and inspiring work quotes for you:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. And also explaining why my workload is unsustainable."
2. "Today's goals: Don't get fired, don't cry in the bathroom stall, and try to remember what my name is."
3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When your boss gives you a project deadline at 5 PM on Friday, just nod and pretend it's not happening."
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my next coffee break."
5. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta. And what do you call an unproductive workday? A lost pasta."
6. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried and pretend it was just a prototype."
7. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field... of paperwork."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "What do you call an employee who's always on time and never takes a sick day? A liar."
10. "When in doubt, add more coffee. When in trouble, add even more coffee. And when the coffee runs out, panic."
11. "Why did I get hired? Because my skills are unmatched... by anyone else in the office."
12. "What do you call a group of cows taking a break at work? A moo-ment of Zen."
13. "When life gives you procrastination, make a to-do list. When your to-do list is too long, prioritize the cat videos on YouTube."
14. "Why did I get fired? Because I kept trying to innovate... and my boss wasn't ready for the future."
15. "What do you call an employee who's always making excuses? A professional procrastinator."
I hope these funny inspirational work quotes bring a smile to your face and a spring to your step!
Here are some funny quotes about success in life:
1. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the coffee that's important." - Winston Churchill (okay, maybe this one isn't entirely true, but a good cup of coffee can help with either)
2. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'after-lunch' person." - Unknown (because let's be real, the most productive hours are after lunch am I right?)
3. "Success is when you do something and it turns out okay. Like, if you make a grilled cheese sandwich and it doesn't burn, that's success."
4. "The secret to success is to start before you're ready." - Unknown (because procrastination is just not an option)
5. "I'm successful because I never give up... unless there's a sale at the mall. Then all bets are off."
6. "Success is not about being the best, it's about being better than you were yesterday." - Unknown (because personal growth is key, duh!)
7. "I'm not saying my success is a result of good luck, but I do have a 'good luck' charm... and it's called my couch."
8. "The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in." - Morrie Schwartz (because success is all about relationships)
9. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
10. "Success is when you can look back on your life and say, 'I was a hot mess, but I got it together... eventually.'"
11. "The secret to success is to be willing to fail. And then to not give up after that failure." - Unknown (because perseverance is key)
12. "Success is not about being perfect; it's about being better than your neighbor."
13. "I'm not saying I'm a role model, but if I were, my motto would be 'Show up, do the best you can, and hope nobody notices.'"
14. "The definition of success is having a job that you love, which will give you enough money to do what you want to do." - Unknown (because financial freedom is key)
15. "I'm not saying I'm successful because I'm good at something; I'm just saying it's because I've had really good luck... and also really bad luck, but mostly the former."
Remember, success is a journey, not a destination. And if you're feeling stuck or struggling to find your way, just remember that even the most successful people have days where they feel like giving up (but they don't).
Here are some funny quotes about success for students:
1. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It's the coffee that gets you through the exam."
2. "I'm not saying I'm a genius, but my grades are pretty great... just like my cat's hairballs."
3. "The secret to success? Eating Cheetos while studying (just kidding... or am I?)"
4. "When in doubt, add more coffee. And when you're out of coffee, add more sleep. And when you're out of sleep..."
5. "Success is the result of good luck, hard work, and having a solid understanding of how to procrastinate effectively."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode until finals are over"
7. "Don't watch Netflix during study sessions... unless you want to become a Netflix expert (just saying)."
8. "Success is when you finally understand that 3 AM is not actually a time zone."
9. "The key to success? Staying focused, staying motivated, and having a backup plan in case your cat decides to sit on your laptop"
10. "When the going gets tough, the tough get studying... or take a nap, whichever comes first"
11. "Success is when you realize that 4:00 AM is not actually dawn"
12. "Don't give up! You're one step closer to graduation... and one step away from adulthood"
13. "The secret to success? Finding the perfect balance between studying and binge-watching your favorite shows (just kidding, sort of)"
14. "When in doubt, just pretend you know what you're doing... and hope for the best"
15. "Success is when you finally figure out that a 'study group' is just code for 'group chat about memes'"
I hope these funny quotes about success bring a smile to your face and help you power through those long study sessions!
I've got a bunch of those! Here are some funny and crazy quotes for you:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people don't know they're crazy... and the sane ones are too busy trying to figure out how to get on reality TV."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for more Netflix binging."
4. "My therapist says I have a fear of intimacy... I think she means my fear of people touching me while I'm still trying to decide what to eat for lunch."
5. "Life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good... and sometimes you just need to add more cheese (or therapy)."
6. "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a not-drinking-enough problem."
7. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
8. "My brain is 90% sarcasm and 10% actual thoughts... trying to decipher which one is which is exhausting."
9. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
10. "Life is like playing the lottery: we're all just waiting for our 'aha' moment when we realize we've been doing it wrong this whole time... and then promptly give up and order pizza."
11. "My cat's favorite game is 'Find the Laser Pointer'... my favorite game is 'Avoid Getting Sued by My Cat'."
12. "I'm not procrastinating, I'm just doing some last-minute research on the importance of procrastination in the context of my current project... which is to watch more cat videos."
13. "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what kind of existential crisis you'll find inside."
14. "My therapist says I have low self-esteem... I think she means I have an extremely high sense of self- importance, but only when no one else is around to judge me."
15. "I don't have a problem with commitment... I just prefer the thrill of potentially leaving at any moment."
Hope these quotes bring a smile (or a facepalm) to your face!