very short funny quotes
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.
funny crazy quotes
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."
"I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own."
"Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?"
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done."
very short funny quotes about life
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right.
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it's full of nuts.
funny crazy quotes about life
"Life is like a box of chocolates; it's full of nuts."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M's and a chocolate cake."
"Life doesn't imitate art; it imitates bad television."
short funny motivational quotes
Be like a proton, always positive!
Don't give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to take the stairs.
I haven't failed; I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Why fit in when you're born to stand out?
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.
You're off to great places. Today is your day!
A diamond is just a lump of coal that stuck with it.
short funny smile quotes
Smile, it confuses people.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I'm smiling because I have no idea what's going on.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble.
Keep calm and smile—it's cheaper than therapy.
Smile, because someone's always watching and judging.
I smile every day, mostly because I'm too lazy to frown.
A smile is just a frown turned upside down... with effort.
funny quotes about me
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I followed my heart, and it led me straight to the fridge."
"I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome."
"My life is like a romantic comedy, except there's no romance and it's just me tripping over things."
funny quotes of the day
I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.