Here are some good, funny, and short quotes:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Why do coffee files a police report every morning? Because it got mugged!"
3. "What's the difference between a pizza and a calzone? One's a pizza that's folded in half, and the other's a pizza that's full of itself."
4. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
5. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
6. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!"
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
8. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
9. "What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!"
10. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!"
11. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving my energy for more important things... like Netflix."
12. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!"
13. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!"
14. "What's the best way to remember your wedding vows? Write them down and hide them in your wallet, where they'll be safe from your husband."
15. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
These quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face!
I've got a collection of very short, funny quotes about life that might tickle your funny bone!
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except the pieces are all broken and you're still trying to find the box top."
2. "Adulting is just pretending to be responsible while secretly eating cereal for dinner."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
4. "Life hack: Just accept that your socks will always disappear in the wash and move on."
5. "Crazy people are just passionate about being wrong."
6. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
7. "The best way to get over someone is to pretend they're a character in a bad TV show and laugh at their ridiculousness."
8. "Procrastination is like, 'Oh, I'll just finish this one more level of Candy Crush real quick.' Then 3 hours later..."
9. "My life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book, except the choices are all terrible and the ending is always 'Game Over'."
10. "Life is short, but that's okay because it's also kind of boring and we're all just trying to figure out what Netflix has to offer."
11. "The only thing more exhausting than adulting is pretending to be an adult when you have no idea what you're doing."
12. "My therapist says I'm not lazy, I'm just on 'energy-saving mode'. Yeah, that's it."
Hope these quotes brought a smile (and a healthy dose of laughter) to your face!
I'd love to share some funny and crazy quotes with you! Here are a few:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Crazy is my superpower." - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
4. "The only thing more exhausting than being a grown-up is pretending to be one." - Unknown
5. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (get it?) Ah, never mind..." - Unknown
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
7. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
8. "Life is like a pizza delivery guy: it's hot, it's messy, and sometimes it takes forever to get here." - Unknown
9. "I'm not crazy, I'm just... highly motivated to avoid responsibility!" - Unknown
10. "Don't worry about the future; or worry about it – I'm too preoccupied trying to figure out what's for lunch." - Unknown
And a few more...
11. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!" - Unknown
12. "I don't always drink, but when I do, I prefer whiskey... or so I've been told." - Unknown
13. "Life is short, and then you die – unless you're an immortal vampire, in which case, life is long and annoying." - Unknown
14. "What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end, and one's just a pause that purrs!" - Unknown
15. "I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right... again." - Unknown
Feel free to laugh, cry, or just roll your eyes – it's all good!
Here are some good and funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a sewer – what you throw in comes back up." - Unknown
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
3. "Adulting is hard, but pretending to be an adult is even harder."
4. "Procrastination: the art of doing nothing out of fear of doing something."
5. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." - Neale Donald Walsch
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
7. "Why are you still awake? You're not getting any younger... or smarter."
8. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself – and also spiders, public speaking, and running out of snacks."
9. "Life is like a puzzle, except the pieces don't fit together, and it's really frustrating."
10. "What if I told you that every time you think you're having a bad day, there are people in the world who have never had a good day?"
11. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you limes, make margaritas."
12. "Don't take life too seriously – you'll never get out of it alive anyway."
13. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
14. "Life is short, but the coffee line at 7 am is eternal."
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy – for Netflix binging."
16. "The only thing more exhausting than being a grown-up is pretending to be one."
17. "What's the point of having a plan when everything can go wrong anyway?"
18. "Life is like riding a bike – except the bike is on fire, and you're wearing a suit."
19. "I'm not stressed, I'm just excited about all the things that could go wrong."
20. "Don't worry if your life doesn't turn out exactly as planned – it's probably going to be way more interesting than that anyway."
These quotes are meant to be humorous and relatable, but remember that life can be serious too!
I've got a few "crazy" ones for you! Here are some funny and relatable quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a piano... what you get out of it depends on how you play it." - Unknown
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like your phone, but without the notifications."
3. "Adulting is hard, but eating pizza is easy."
4. "My life is like a video game... except instead of leveling up, I'm just trying to level out my student loans."
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
6. "Life hack: when in doubt, add coffee."
7. "My therapist told me to practice self-care. So I took a nap."
8. "Procrastination is like a magic spell... it makes my tasks disappear until the deadline is looming over my head."
9. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
10. "My life is like a puzzle... except the pieces are missing and the box top has no instructions."
11. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
12. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on pause... like my Netflix account when I forget to renew it."
13. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
14. "My anxiety is like a tiny voice in my head telling me 'you're going to fail.' My depression is like that same voice saying 'you're already failing'."
15. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just explaining why I'm right... again."
Hehe, hope these quotes made your day a little brighter (and more relatable)!
I've got a treasure trove of clever and funny quotes for you! Here are some that might tickle your fancy:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!" - Anonymous
3. "What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, and the other is a little lighter." - Unknown
4. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
5. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!" - Unknown
6. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta." - Unknown
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
8. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field." - Unknown
9. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down." - Steven Wright
10. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!" - Unknown
11. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired." - Unknown
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
13. "What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!" - Unknown
14. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!" - Unknown
15. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my next nap." - Unknown
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face and a spring to your step!
I've got a treasure trove of short, funny, and motivating quotes for you! Here are some:
1. "Believe you can, and you're halfway there. The other half is cake."
2. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
3. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And also the ones you do take badly."
4. "Good things come to those who wait, but better things come to those who hustle."
5. "It's not about being the best, it's about being better than you were yesterday."
6. "You're never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
7. "Do something today that your future self will thank you for."
8. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
9. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."
10. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."
11. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
12. "Take the first step, and the next will reveal itself."
13. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
14. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
15. "You are never too old or too young to chase your dreams."
16. "Don't worry about being successful. Just be successful in what you do."
17. "The biggest risk is not taking any risk..."
18. "If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, keep going."
19. "You don't have to be perfect to be amazing."
20. "The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday."
I hope these short, funny, and motivating quotes give you a boost of energy and inspire you to tackle your day with enthusiasm!
Here are some funny quotes for you:
**Monday**
* "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
* "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
**Tuesday**
* "Why do people say 'get over it'? Like, what are they getting over?" - Demetri Martin
* "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
**Wednesday**
* "What's the point of having a cat if you're just going to give them all the attention and affection in the world? It's like having a pet rock with feelings." - Eric Stonestreet
* "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
**Thursday**
* "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parks?" - Unknown
* "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - A. Whitney Brown
**Friday**
* "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down." - Steven Wright
* "Why do people say 'break a leg'? Do they really think it's good luck?" - Unknown
**Saturday**
* "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw the lemonade in someone's face and laugh at their confusion." - Unknown
* "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
**Sunday**
* "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
* "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta." - Unknown