You're referring to the popular online community on Reddit called r/LongEngagement!
r/LongEngagement is a subreddit dedicated to sharing stories, advice, and experiences related to long-term engagements (typically lasting several months or even years). The community has grown significantly over the years, with thousands of members sharing their personal anecdotes, asking for advice, and supporting one another.
Some common topics discussed on r/LongEngagement include:
1. Planning and preparation: Members share tips and ideas for planning a wedding, including budgeting, venue selection, and more.
2. Overcoming challenges: Couples facing obstacles like long-distance relationships, financial struggles, or family conflicts can seek advice and support from others who have gone through similar experiences.
3. Emotional updates: Members often share their emotional ups and downs, offering encouragement and words of wisdom to those going through the same feelings.
4. Engagement stories: Couples share their unique engagement stories, including proposals, ring shopping, and other memorable moments.
5. Wedding planning advice: Experienced members offer guidance on everything from dress shopping to wedding party management.
The community has a strong focus on positivity, empathy, and support. Members often celebrate milestones, like getting engaged or married, and offer congratulations and well-wishes to one another.
If you're considering proposing or already in a long-term engagement, r/LongEngagement can be an excellent resource for advice, inspiration, and community support!
A long engagement!
In many cultures, a long engagement is considered a normal part of the marriage preparation process. It typically refers to an extended period of time between the couple's proposal and their actual wedding date.
The length of a long engagement can vary greatly, but it's often characterized by a longer-than-average period of planning, saving, and preparing for married life. Here are some reasons why couples might choose a long engagement:
1. **Financial preparation**: The couple may need time to save money, pay off debts, or build up their financial stability before getting married.
2. **Personal growth**: A long engagement can provide an opportunity for individuals to work on personal goals, develop new skills, and become more established in their careers or education.
3. **Family or cultural traditions**: In some cultures or families, it's common to have a longer engagement period as a way to ensure the couple is truly committed to each other before tying the knot.
4. **Travel or educational pursuits**: The couple might use the long engagement to travel, pursue further education, or focus on their individual goals and aspirations.
5. **Practical considerations**: A long engagement can allow the couple to settle into a new home, find a job, or get established in their careers before starting a family.
Some common lengths of long engagements include:
* 1-2 years: This is a relatively common length for a long engagement, allowing couples to prepare financially and personally.
* 2-5 years: A longer engagement that can provide ample time for personal growth, travel, or educational pursuits.
* 5+ years: An extended engagement that may be necessary due to financial constraints, family obligations, or other practical considerations.
Ultimately, the length of a long engagement depends on individual circumstances and goals. While it may require more patience and planning, it can also provide a unique opportunity for couples to mature and prepare for their future together.
The length of an engagement before getting married is a personal decision that depends on various factors, including the couple's circumstances, values, and goals. Here are some pros and cons to consider:
**Shorter engagements (3-6 months):**
Pros:
1. Builds excitement and anticipation: A shorter engagement can create a sense of urgency and keep the romance alive.
2. Quick decision-making: You'll have less time to second-guess or overthink your decision.
Cons:
1. Rushed planning: With less time, you might feel pressured to make hasty decisions about the wedding, which could lead to mistakes.
2. Limited guest list: If you don't give guests enough notice, some may not be able to attend the wedding.
**Moderate engagements (6-18 months):**
Pros:
1. Time for planning: A moderate engagement allows for more thoughtful and deliberate decision-making about the wedding.
2. Guest comfort: Guests will have ample time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements.
Cons:
1. Longer wait: You might feel like you're waiting forever to tie the knot.
2. Potential for doubts: More time can give you (and your partner) space to doubt or reconsider the decision.
**Longer engagements (18 months-2+ years):**
Pros:
1. Ample planning time: A longer engagement provides plenty of time to research, budget, and plan every detail.
2. Increased confidence: The extra time allows for a clearer understanding of what you want and need from your wedding day.
Cons:
1. Longer wait: As mentioned earlier, waiting this long can be challenging and may lead to feelings of restlessness or frustration.
2. Increased anxiety: With more time to think about the wedding, anxiety levels might rise due to the pressure to make perfect decisions.
Ultimately, the ideal engagement length depends on your individual circumstances, values, and priorities. Some couples prefer a shorter engagement to create a sense of urgency, while others may need more time to plan and prepare.
Here are some questions to consider when deciding on an engagement length:
1. How important is planning and preparation to you?
2. Do you have specific goals or milestones in mind for your wedding day?
3. Are there any logistical challenges (e.g., out-of-town guests, multiple ceremonies) that require more time?
4. What are your partner's thoughts on the engagement length? Are they comfortable with a shorter or longer engagement?
Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to engagement length. Communicate openly with your partner, consider your circumstances, and prioritize what matters most to you both.
The duration of an engagement can vary greatly depending on individual circumstances, cultures, and personal preferences. While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, here are some points to consider:
**Pros of a longer engagement:**
1. **Financial readiness**: Having more time to prepare financially for marriage can be beneficial, especially if you're planning a big wedding or have significant expenses.
2. **Personal growth**: A longer engagement can give you both time to work on personal goals, develop new skills, and become even more compatible as a couple.
3. **Family considerations**: If either of you has family concerns or obligations (e.g., finishing school, paying off debt), a longer engagement may be necessary to ensure everything is in order before making a lifelong commitment.
**Cons of a longer engagement:**
1. **Loss of momentum**: The longer you're engaged, the more time there is for doubts and second thoughts to creep in.
2. **Drifting apart**: A long engagement can lead to drifting apart if you're not actively working on your relationship or communication.
3. **Social pressure**: Friends and family may start to wonder what's taking so long, which can put pressure on the relationship.
**When 3 years might be too long:**
1. **Lack of clarity**: If there are still significant issues or questions about the marriage that haven't been addressed after 3 years, it may be wise to re-evaluate the engagement.
2. **Drifting apart**: If you feel like you're growing further apart instead of closer, it might be time to consider a different path.
3. **Uncertainty**: If there's ongoing uncertainty about the future or whether marriage is right for both of you, it may be better to have an open and honest conversation rather than prolonging the engagement.
**When 3 years might not be too long:**
1. **Growing together**: If you're still growing and learning together as a couple, a longer engagement can be beneficial.
2. **Circumstantial challenges**: If you're facing significant life challenges (e.g., health issues, financial struggles), a longer engagement can give you the time and space to work through these difficulties.
3. **Personal priorities**: If personal goals or priorities are taking precedence over the wedding planning process, it may be okay to take the time needed.
Ultimately, whether 3 years is too long for an engagement depends on individual circumstances and the couple's unique situation. It's essential to prioritize open communication, honesty, and mutual understanding throughout the engagement period.
What are your thoughts about this? Have you or someone you know been engaged for a while, and what were the pros and cons of that experience?
A great question!
According to various sources, including the US Census Bureau and marriage researchers, the average length of engagement in the United States in 1950 was around 14-16 months (about 1 year).
This is significantly longer than the average engagement duration today. In recent years, the median length of engagement has been around 14-17 weeks (3.5-4 months), with some studies suggesting it may be even shorter.
There are several reasons why engagements were often longer in the past:
1. **Cultural norms**: In the mid-20th century, marriage was considered a more serious commitment, and couples often took their time to prepare for this lifelong partnership.
2. **Economic factors**: With many people still reeling from the Great Depression and World War II, couples may have been slower to rush into marriage due to financial concerns or the need to establish stability before tying the knot.
3. **Social expectations**: The 1950s were a time of greater social conformity, with societal pressure to conform to traditional gender roles and family values. This might have led couples to take their time in planning for marriage.
Of course, these are just general trends, and individual experiences varied widely. Nonetheless, it's fascinating to see how cultural attitudes and economic conditions can influence the pace of courtship and marriage.
The age-old question of whether 5 years is too long to be engaged!
Firstly, it's essential to remember that every couple is unique, and what works for one pair might not work for another. That being said, here are some points to consider:
**Pros of a longer engagement:**
1. **Financial readiness:** Five years can provide ample time to get your finances in order, pay off debts, or build up savings.
2. **Personal growth:** You may have had time to develop new skills, achieve personal goals, and become more emotionally mature, which can make you a better partner.
3. **Cohesive planning:** A longer engagement allows for more thoughtful planning of your future together, including things like education, career, and lifestyle choices.
4. **Strengthened relationship:** The extra time can help strengthen your bond by fostering deeper communication, trust, and intimacy.
**Cons of a longer engagement:**
1. **Lack of urgency:** With no immediate pressure to get married, you might start taking the future for granted or lose motivation to make plans.
2. **Increased stress:** Five years is a significant amount of time, and the constant uncertainty can cause stress and anxiety in one or both partners.
3. **Social pressures:** Friends and family may start to question your decision not to get married, leading to feelings of guilt or embarrassment.
4. **Changes in priorities:** Your goals, values, or interests might shift over time, causing you to reevaluate whether marriage is still the right choice for you.
**Ultimately, it's about what works best for you:**
If you're feeling uncertain or pressured, consider having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns. You may want to ask yourselves:
* What are our goals and priorities in this engagement?
* Are we making progress towards those goals, or is there a sense of stagnation?
* How do we envision our future together, and what steps can we take to make it a reality?
If you're both on the same page and feeling confident about your decision, 5 years might not be too long to be engaged. However, if you're experiencing significant stress or uncertainty, it may be helpful to re-evaluate your plans and consider setting a timeline for marriage.
Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer here. What matters most is that you and your partner are happy, fulfilled, and working towards a future together that aligns with your values and goals.
You're referring to a popular Reddit thread!
The original post, "Is 3 years too long to be engaged?" was posted on the r/AskReddit community, which is known for its honest and often humorous takes on various topics.
In this case, the OP (original poster) asked if three years of engagement was considered too long. The responses were diverse, with some people sharing their own experiences, while others offered words of encouragement or caution.
Some common themes that emerged from the discussion include:
1. **Different strokes for different folks**: Many commenters emphasized that what's "too long" is subjective and depends on individual circumstances, such as age, life goals, and personal readiness for marriage.
2. **The benefits of taking time**: Some users shared their own experiences of getting engaged young and regretting it later on. They suggested that taking the time to focus on personal growth, education, or career development before marrying can be beneficial in the long run.
3. **Pressure from others**: A few commenters mentioned feeling pressure from family, friends, or society to get married sooner rather than later. This pressure can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress.
4. **Communication is key**: Many users agreed that open communication with your partner about your concerns, goals, and expectations is crucial in any relationship, including an engagement.
5. **Ultimately, it's up to the couple**: As one user put it, "If you're happy and not feeling pressured by others, then three years of engagement isn't too long."
In conclusion, while there were differing opinions on whether three years is too long for an engagement, many commenters emphasized the importance of communication, personal growth, and individual readiness in determining what's right for each couple.
In Islam, the length of an engagement (also known as "nikah" or "mohar") is not explicitly mentioned in the Quran or hadiths. However, there are some general guidelines and considerations that Muslim scholars have provided over the years.
**Islamic perspective:**
1. **Purpose of engagement:** An engagement is a solemn promise between two parties (the couple and their families) to get married in the future. Its purpose is to ensure the stability of the family, protect the interests of both parties, and provide time for preparation and planning.
2. **Length of engagement:** There is no specific timeframe mentioned in Islam for an engagement to last. The length depends on various factors, including the couple's circumstances, the families' preferences, and the community's norms.
**General guidelines:**
1. **Reasonable period:** Many Islamic scholars recommend a reasonable period for an engagement, usually ranging from a few months to a year or two, depending on the circumstances.
2. **Not too long:** However, some scholars caution against engagements lasting too long (e.g., 5 years or more), as this can lead to uncertainty and potential complications in the marriage.
3. **No specific time limit:** The Quran does not specify a particular timeframe for an engagement, leaving it to the discretion of the parties involved.
**Considerations:**
1. **Communication:** Effective communication between the couple and their families is crucial during the engagement period to prevent misunderstandings and ensure a smooth transition to marriage.
2. **Preparation:** The engagement period can be used to prepare for married life, including learning about each other's values, habits, and expectations.
3. **Flexibility:** Couples should remain flexible and open-minded during this period, as circumstances may change or unexpected challenges arise.
**In practice:**
1. **Cultural variations:** Engagement periods vary across different Islamic cultures and communities. For example, in some Arab countries, engagements can last several years, while in others, they may be shorter.
2. **Regional norms:** Regional customs and practices can influence the length of an engagement. In some cases, engagements might be shorter or longer depending on local traditions.
In conclusion, while there is no specific timeframe for an engagement in Islam, it's essential to consider the purpose of the engagement, communicate effectively with all parties involved, prepare for married life, and remain flexible during this period.