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片名：藍
[註：BLUE是Derek Jarman的辭世之作，
拍這部電影時他因為愛滋病而幾近失明，
此時他參與了一種治療愛滋病的新藥的試驗。
整部影片用詩化的自述體語言
描述生命中最後的生活、治療場景以及各種聯想和回憶，
以意識的流動為線索串起宛若珠璣的人生片段，
就像一個長長的、柔美的、回味幽遠的長鏡頭。]
You say to the boy open your eyes
你對那個男孩說 睜開你的雙眼
When he opens his eyes and sees the light
當他睜開眼睛看到光明時
You make him cry out.
你卻讓他哭泣
Saying O Blue come forth
說著 噢 藍色出現了
O Blue arise
噢 藍色升起來了
O Blue ascend
噢 藍色盤旋而上
O Blue come in
噢 憂鬱已經降臨
I am sitting with some friends in this café
我和幾個朋友坐在咖啡館裡
drinking coffee
啜飲美味
served by young refugees from Bosnia.
為我們服務的是波士尼亞的年輕流亡者
The war rages across the newspapers
報紙上依然戰爭肆虐
and through the ruined streets of Sarajevo.
塞拉耶佛滿布殘垣斷壁
Tania said:
坦尼亞說：
"Your clothes are on back to front and inside out."
「你的衣服前後穿反了,裡外還翻了」
Since there were only two of us here
I took them off
and put them right then and there.
因為那裡只有我們倆 我當即把它們脫下重新穿好
I am always here before the doors open.
從開門前我就一直在那裡了
What need of so much news from abroad
while all that concerns either life or death
當所有攸關生死的事情轟擊著我大腦的時候
is all transacting and at work within me.
誰還會去關心那些外國的狗屁新聞啊
I step off the kerb and a cyclist nearly
knocks me down.
我走下臺階 險些被一個騎自行車的人撞倒
Watch your fucking eyes
媽的 你沒長眼啊
Flying in from the dark
他從黑暗裡突然出現
he nearly parted my hair.
他幾乎扯斷了我的頭髮
I step into a blue funk.
我一步步走進藍色的恐懼
The doctor in St Bartholomew's Hospital thought
聖巴多羅馬醫院的醫生認為
he could detect lesions in my retina
他能檢測到我視網膜的損傷
the pupils dilated with belladonna
瞳孔因顛茄的作用而放大
the torch shone into them with a terrible blinding light.
手電筒耀目的光照進來
Look left
Look down
向左看 向下看
Look up
Look right
向上看 向右看
Blue flashes in my eyes.
藍色在我眼中閃過
Blue Bottle buzzing
麗蠅嗡嗡震動翅膀
Lazy days
懶洋洋的日子
The sky blue butterfly
Sways on a cornflower
天藍色的蝴蝶自矢車菊叢中飛舞而來
Lost in the warmth
Of the blue heat haze
消逝在藍色薄霧的溫暖裡
Singing the blues
吟唱著藍調
Quiet and slowly
Blue of my heart
靜謐 柔緩 我心之憂鬱
Blue of my dreams
夢中的藍色
Slow blue love of delphinium days
飛燕草漫野的時光中 那漸漸變得憂傷的愛
Blue is the universal love
藍色是宇宙之愛
in which man bathes
it is the terrestrial paradise.
人們沐浴其中 那是人類的天堂
Blue
藍色
I'm walking along the beach in a howling gale
在咆哮的狂風中 我漫步海灘
Another year is passing
又一年過去了
In the roaring waters
I hear the voices of dead friends
海潮轟鳴 我聽見已逝好友的聲音
Love is life that lasts forever.
愛是永恆的生命
My heart's memory turns to you
我心中的記憶流向你們
David.
大衛
Howard.
霍華德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特裡
PauI.
保羅
David.
大衛
Howard.
霍華德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特裡
PauI.
保羅
David.
大衛
Howard.
霍華德
Graham.
格雷厄姆
Terry.
特裡
PauI.
保羅
But
但是
what if this present
Were the world's last night
如果現在就是世界末日
In the setting sun your love fades
落日餘暉映照下 你的愛凋謝了
Dies in the moonlight
Fails to rise
在月光下死去 再也不能復活
Thrice denied by cock crow
雞叫三遍後
In the dawn's first light
黎明的第一束光射進來 又將如何
Look left
Look down
向左看 向下看
Look up
Look right
向上看 向右看
The camera flash
Atomic bright Photos
閃光燈一閃 照片出來
The CMV a green moon
then the world turns magenta
巨細胞病毒 那是一輪綠色的月亮 世界變了洋紅色
My retina
Is a distant planet
我的視網膜 是遙遠的行星
A red Mars
From a Boy's Own comic
是少年漫畫裡的火星
With yellow infection
Bubbling at the corner
它的角落感染了黃色泡泡
I said this looks like a planet
我說那看起來像顆星球
The doctor says:
醫生說：
" Oh, I think It looks like a pizza "
「噢，我認為它看上去像塊比薩餅。」
The worst of the illness is the uncertainty.
這病最糟糕的地方在於它的不確定性
I've played this scenario back and forth each
hour of the day for the last six years.
整整六年 我時刻都在演習生命終結的那一幕
Blue transcends the solemn
geography of human limits.
憂傷 超越了嚴格的人類極限
I am home with the blinds drawn
我在家 閉上百葉窗
H.B. is back from Newcastle
But gone out
H.B.剛從紐卡斯爾回來 不過又出去了
[註：H.B.是Derek的同性戀人，幫他度過了飽受愛滋病折磨的最後歲月。雙目失明的Derek在日記裡寫下的最後一句話是：H.B.，true love。]
The washing Machine is roaring away
And the fridge is defrosting
洗衣機咆哮不已 冰箱在解凍
These are his favourite sounds
這是他最喜歡的聲音
I've been given the option of being
an in-patient at the hospital
我可以選擇
or coming in twice a day
to be hooked to a drip.
是否一天去醫院輸兩次液
My vision will never come back.
我的光明永不回來
The retina is destroyed,
視網膜已被破壞
though when the bleeding stops
what is left of my sight might improve.
血不再流的時候 視力可能會略有改善
I have to come to terms with sightlessness.
我不得不進入失明前的倒計時
If I lose half my sight will my vision be halved?
是不是當我失去一半視力的時候 視野也只剩一半？
The virus rages fierce.
病毒繼續肆虐著
I have no friends now who are not dead or dying.
我已經沒有還活著的病友了
Like a blue frost it caught them.
他們像被藍霧帶走
At work, at the cinema,
在工作中、在電影院裡
on marches and beaches.
在起航時、靠岸時
In churches on their knees, running,
在教堂跪拜時
flying, silent or shouting protest.
又或者奔跑、飛翔、靜默或是大聲抗議時
It started with sweats in the night
剛開始只是在夜裡大汗淋漓
and swollen glands.
腺體腫大
Then the black cancers
spread across their faces
接著可怕的惡疾延伸到他們的臉上
as they fought for breath
當他們為呼吸而戰的時候
TB and pneumonia hammered at the lungs
肺結核和肺炎攻擊了他們的肺
and Toxo at the brain.
同時弓形蟲侵入大腦
Reflexes scrambled
導致反射系統紊亂
sweat poured through hair
汗如雨下
matted like lianas in the tropical forest.
頭髮糾結得就像熱帶雨林的藤蔓
Voices slurred
聲音漸漸模糊
and then were lost forever.
最終永遠消失
My pen chased this story across the page
我的筆在紙上追尋著這個
tossed this way and that in the storm.
在風暴中輾轉的故事
The blood of sensibility is blue