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收到 注意無線電靜電幹擾
Roger that, be advice radio static comm.
收到
Roger that.
核酸蛋白質含量7-10 準備著陸
7-10 for vcx, landing gears on optical.
7 3 11
Seven, three, eleven.
情況很好
Looking good.
倒數12秒降落
Landing vector optimum touch down in t-minus 12
11 10 9
11, 10, 9 ...
8 7 6
8, 7, 6 ...
5 4 3
5, 4, 3 ...
2 1
2, 1.
傻愣什麼 快放旗幟
And now, what's up? Drop the banners
一定要嗎
Oh, for... Must we?
雄鷹號安全著陸
The Eagle has landed baby.
讓那傻子離對講機遠點
Please keep that fool off the main frequency
桑德斯 你那邊也能看到讀數嗎
Are you getting a reading on your end too, Sanders?
指揮中心 數據顯示這裡存在大量氦-3元素
Mission control, I can confirm vast quantities of Helium 3.
這邊讀數更強
The readings are stronger this way
你信號不好
You're breaking up,
注意流星雨
pls be advice you may be nearing a meteor shower...
對講機調至...
Adjust to communicate....
難以置信啊
No fucking way.
桑德斯 你拿著那玩意兒
Hey Sanders, what do you do with that thing
在那邊撲騰個啥
hopping around over there?
我以為你要給我拍照來著
I thought you suppose to take some photos of me?
華盛頓 你能看見...
Washington, have you got a visual on ...
總部 你說什麼
What was that, Houston?
-華盛頓 這裡有氦-3 -什麼
- Hey Washington, it's Helium 3. - What?
這裡有個氦-3礦 過來
It's Helium 3 mine. Get over here!
此景只應天上有 人間能有幾回聞
Hey there's something over here you need to see!
不 桑德斯 桑德斯
No, Sanders! Sanders!
老天啊
Oh god!
休斯頓 休斯頓 媽的 我得快離開這兒
Houston! Houston! Son-of-a-bitch, I need to get out of here.
英語時間到
In English, now.
我們從哪裡來
Where are we from?
-齊格弗裡德 -從地球來
- Siegfried. - The earth
我們是什麼時候動身的
And when did we leave?
-布倫希爾特 -1945年
- Brunhild. - 1945.
-我們來到了哪裡 -月球背面
- And where did we go? - The dark side of the moon.
非常好
Brilliant.
別和我裝傻
Don't try to play dumb with me.
都是你出的餿主意送那些白痴去月球
It was your bad idea to send those idiots to the moon.
-真心悲劇啊 -不是我反駁 不過總統大人
- Talk about disaster. - Not to be a contrarian madam president
我很肯定那是您的主意
but I'm pretty sure it was your idea.
要是成功了 功勞當然歸我
It was my great idea if have they succeeded,
現在事情黃了 黑鍋你背吧
now it's your stupid idea. Got it?
我僱傭你不是讓你出餿主意的
I didn't hire you for your stupid ideas
是看中你謙遜的態度
I hire you because of your modest touch.
現在我的民意測驗一落千丈
Now my proven rates are in the toilet
而選舉卻迫在眉睫了
and the election is just in weeks.
是你搞砸了 薇薇安
You dropped the ball, Vivian.
我現在急需奇蹟發生 給我個奇蹟
Now, I need a miracle. Get me a miracle.
到底為什麼送那兩個太空人去月球
Actually how was sending those two astronauts to the moon
可以幫助我連任呢
supposed to getting me re-elected?
我們有50年沒上月球了
We haven't been to the moon for fifty years.
而且其中一人是個黑人
One of them was black.
-我覺得是個不錯的姿態 -怎麼說
- Thought it would look good. - Look good how?
正如我所言 其中一個是黑人
Like I said, one of them was black.
你想想
Just think of
我們當年浪費的機會 那個小跟班叫啥
the opportunity we wasted years ago with that errand boy,
是叫艾倫·鮑威爾嗎[英國鼓手]
Alan Powell?
-是叫科林·鮑威爾 -差不多
- Colin Powell. - That was close.
-你上哪兒去 -去聯合國 我忙著呢
- And where are you going? - The UN, to do my job.
查理·卓別林的《大獨裁者》
The Great Dictator by Charlie Chaplin.
是舉世聞名的短片之一
It is one of the worlds most famous short films.
影片在短短的10分鐘內向我們描述了他的願望
Which illustrates in just ten minutes his wish:
終有一天 整個世界
That one day, the entire world
將在元首他那雙智慧而溫柔的手的掌控之下
will be held in the great fuhrer wise and gentle hands.
-有問題嗎 -我有個問題
- Any questions? - I have a question.
在我的課堂裡
In my classroom we are here
一言一行必須遵守紀律
to strictly form a manner in addressing one another
什麼事勞您大駕
To what do we owe the honor of this visit?
-我們抓住了一個地球人 -到你發揮特長的時候了
- We capture an earthling. - Your expertise is required.
我愛吃泡菜
I love sauerkraut.
愛大眾車 開起來真拉轟
And Volkswagen. Faberduch.
德國話 對不
German words, right?
我們那兒也說德國話 你們知道嗎
Where I come from we speak German too, you know what I'm saying?
媽的 你這麼做會後悔的 小白臉
Damn! You'll be sorry you did that, white boy.
你的美令我暈倒
You are a knock-out.
怎麼能從這兒出去
How do I get out of here?
謝謝女士 祝你愉快
Thanks lady. Have a nice day.
不 土人先生 那是個氣閘
No, Mr. Subhuman. That is the air lock.
不
No!
你要不要遮一下
You may wanna - uh, cover up a bit.
好了嗎
All good?
別別別 別殺我
No, no, no! I wouldn't do that if I was you!
聽我說 我認識些很重磅的人
Listen to me! I know a lot of important people.
美國總統我也認識
And I konw the President of United States of America.
你要是殺了我 情況就糟糕了
If you kill me, then it's really fucked-up situation.
你認識美國總統嗎
You know the president of United States of the Americas?
謝謝老兄 回頭見
Thanks homie, I talk to you later babe.
這是什麼裝置
Question, what is this apparatus?
我怎麼知道 我只是個模特
Look man, how would I know? I'm just model.
-一個模範什麼 模範公民嗎 -不是 就是模特
-A model what? Citizen? -No man, a model model
你們倆這是怎麼了 瞎了還是什麼的
Damn, what's wrong with you two? You're blind or something?
爺美呆了
Shit, I'm pretty.
你是為了入侵而來的先頭部隊嗎
Are you part of the short trip before the invasion?
入侵 老兄你秀逗了吧
Invasion? Man, you all must be tripping.
你的任務是什麼
What is your mission?
聽著 我就是個打工的 你懂嗎
Look dude, I just follow the paycheck, you know what I'm saying?
-這是什麼 -那是我的終極無敵行動電話
- What is this device? - That's my kick-ass cellphone
-也是個電腦 -什麼
- and a computer. - What?
這不是電腦
That's not a computer.
這才是電腦
This is a computer.
不 你那是老古董了
No, that's ancient history homie.
我再次重申
I am telling you once again..
我們前一秒剛得到
One moment we receive conformation
飛船安全降落的消息
that the ship has landed successfully on the moon
下一秒通訊就全部中斷了
Then next, all communication stopped.
信號消失
The signal simply vanished.
你們是不是有所隱瞞
Or you're hiding something from us?
是啊 我們在月球背面藏了好東西
Yeah, we are hiding something on the dark side of the moon.
我還是不相信
I still find it very difficult to believe that
整個計劃
entire purpose of the mission
就是要幫助你們總統連任
was to promote your presidents re-election.
不管你們信不信 我們有的議員
Well believe what you like, we had the senators spend
為了一官半職
hundreds of millions on campaigns
真是一擲千金啊
to get them elected to dog-shit-posts.
但是秘書長先生 這次行動的所花的錢
But Mr Secretary, the expenses involve this time only makes
要有軍事目的才說得通
sense only if there was a military purpose.
我要申明
Okay, let's get this clear.
美國登月沒有軍事目的
The United States has no military activity on the moon.
那麼能源探索呢
What about natural resources activity?
大家都知道 你們美國人有時候會把兩者搞混的
We know how the US sometimes mixes them two up.
你們不會是在那邊找氦-3吧
Is there any chance that you are looking for Helium 3 up there?
氦-3 有這種東西嗎 你亂編的吧
Helium 3? You just made that up, didn't you?
無稽之談
That's so silly.
這些還是初步設想吧
I assume these are just preliminary ideas?
先生 這次的時間很趕
Sir, we have a very small delivery window.
-叫我先生 -是的 先生
- Sir? - Yes, sir.
是夫人 這就是我們的成品
Ma'am, and this is all.