燃情
克利夫蘭
第一季 第一集
《燃情克利夫蘭》是在攝影棚觀眾前現場錄製的
Hot in Cleveland is recorded in front of a live studio audience.
飛機上的鏡子會把人照變形 對嗎
Airplane mirrors aren't accurate, are they?
-當然了 -造飛機的盡買便宜貨
- Of course not. - They got them from Fine Houses.
打擾下
Excuse me,
-您... -是的 是的
- Are you... - Yes, yes.
我正是維多利亞·蔡斯
I am Victoria Chase.
我已經儘量低調了
One tries to be inconspicuous.
是啊
Yes.
那頂帽子在尖叫「無視我」呢
That hat screams, "Ignore me."
自從《明日邊緣》被砍後
You know, some fans are reluctant to approach me
某些粉絲就不太敢接近我
ever since the Edge of Tomorrow was cancelled.
扮演了27年的歐娜·聖瑞雯讓我無比榮幸
Playing Honor Saint Raven for the past 27 years has been a privilege
並且 我總是很開心
and it is always so gratifying
能見到那些被我啟發感動的人
to meet those that I have moved and touched.
其實 我是想問
Actually, what I was going to ask was,
"您感覺舒服嗎"
"Are you comfortable?"
不 但你給我端杯酒來我就舒服了
No, but I will be when you bring me a drink.
-三杯香檳 -馬上來
- Champagne, three. - Right away.
好了 維多利亞 放下電話
Okay, Victoria, put away your phone.
喬依 放下電子表格
Joy, put away your spreadsheets,
我要祝酒 謝謝
I want to have a toast. Thank you.
謝謝
Thank you.
敬第122件事
Here's to number 122.
兌現飛行裡程 與好友一起飛往巴黎
Cash in your miles and fly to Paris with your best friends.
法國萬歲
Vive la France!
-一定會很好玩的 -是啊
- This is gonna be fun. - Yes.
我去拿餐巾 馬上回來
Oh, I'm gonna get a napkin. Be right back.
安德斯在飛機上
Anders is on the plane.
你老公安德斯嗎
Your husband, Anders?
天吶 天吶 天吶
Oh my God! Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
淡定
Just calm down.
你之前不知道他要去巴黎嗎
You didn't know he was going to Paris?
我們已經好幾個月沒說話了
We haven't spoken to each other in months.
律師讓我們不要說話
Our lawyers told us not to.
律師說得沒錯 無視他
Your lawyers are right. Ignore him.
只是一個討厭的巧合罷了
It's just a hideous coincidence.
但如果不是巧合呢
But what if it's not a coincidence?
如果他也想我呢
What if he's missing me too?
洛杉磯滿是傷心的回憶
And Los Angeles was filled with so many sad memories,
他飛去巴黎填補生命的空虛
he's flying to Paris to fill a void in his life?
如果這是我們
What if this is our
「帝國大廈樓頂見」的夢幻時刻呢
"Meet on top of the empire state building" moment?
你是不是又看了《西雅圖未眠夜》
Have you been watching Sleepless in Seattle again?
沒有
No.
是的
Yes.
但已經減到每月看一次了
But I got it down to once a month.
話說 我本來有機會出演那個電影
You know, I was up for a part in that movie.
那是"當然"啦
Of course you were.
我要去找他聊聊
I'm gonna go talk to him.
記住 浪漫愛情喜劇電影就像去脂療法
Remember, romantic comedies are like cellulite cures.
全是騙人的
Every one of them is a lie.
我的天吶
Oh, my goodness.
-天吶 梅蘭妮 -安德斯
- Wow. Melanie. - Anders.
我沒見你上飛機啊
I didn't see you get on the plane.
真是意外啊
What a surprise.
你才是充滿意外的那個 去歐洲旅遊
You're the one full of surprises. Traveling to Europe,
看著小說
reading fiction,
喝著汽水
and drinking club soda?
是啊 你那個工作狂酒鬼老公去哪裡了
I know. Where's your workaholic drunk of a husband, huh?
我跟他正在辦離婚 但你...
Well, I'm divorcing him, but you--
你好 我是金姆
Hi, I'm Kim.
你好 金姆
Hi...Kim.
我連個約會都還沒撈著
I haven't even gone on a date yet
而他已經帶未婚妻去巴黎
and he's taking his fiancee to Paris.
她好年輕
And she's so young.
只有我的一半年紀
She's half my age.
親愛的 那也算不上有多年輕
Well, darling, that really isn't that young.
我的假年紀
My fake age.
老天 那是未成年啊
Oh, my God. She's a child.
我建議我們宰了他 讓他未成年的小賤人看著
I say we kill him and make his underage whore watch.
聽我說 我知道這有多痛苦
Listen, I know how painful this is,
但可能這是你開始新人生的好機會
but maybe--maybe this is your chance to finally move on.
梅梅 那個男人根本配不上你
Oh, Mel, you deserve so much better.
沒錯
She's right.
你是世界上最溫柔最可愛的人
You're the kindest, most loving person in the world.
我希望墜機 他們兩個都死翹翹
I hope the plane crashes and kills them both.
快收回
Make it stop!
這不是她詛咒的
She didn't cause this!
快收回
Make it stop!
我是機長瑞德
This is Captain Reid speaking.
所有乘客及機組人員
All passengers and flight attendants,
請回到座位上 扣好安全帶
please take your seats and fasten your seat belts.
我就知道會有這倒黴事
I knew something like this would happen.
巨星都是墜機死的
All the great ones go down in planes.
我們已獲批准緊急降落
We've been cleared for an emergency landing.
請保持鎮定
Please remain calm.
上帝啊
My God!
我只關心事業成功
All I cared about was being successful,
現在我要死了 我還沒嫁過呢
and now I'm gonna die and I never got married
也沒孩子
or had children!
我還從沒拿過日間艾美獎
And I never won a daytime Emmy!
有一季我勇敢地與蜱蟲病抗爭都沒選上
Not even the season I so courageously battled Lyme disease!
我都沒有任性地胡鬧過
And I've never done anything impulsive
唯一一次衝動地上了飛機 瞧瞧我的下場
except get on this plane and look where that got me!
大家就位防撞擊姿勢
I need everyone to brace for impact.
我愛你們
I love you guys.
我也愛你
I love you too.
我發誓如果這次能活下去
And I swear that if I survive this,
我不會再那麼虛榮了
I am going to stop being so vain.
我不會什麼都害怕了
And scared of everything.
我不會再抱怨什麼了
And I'm never gonna complain about anything
永遠不會
ever, ever again.
我們已經安全降落在克利夫蘭
We have safely landed in Cleveland.
克利夫蘭
Cleveland?
這下可好
Well, great.
我前夫訂婚了 而我們卻在克利夫蘭的破酒吧
My husband's engaged and we're in a dive bar in Cleveland.
我搜索了關鍵詞"克利夫蘭"加"爛醉如泥"
Look, I googled "Cleveland" and "Get hammered,"
跳出來的就是這個
and this is what came up.
以及克利夫蘭明星德魯·凱利不堪入目的照片
Along with some very disturbing pictures of Drew Carey.
為什麼這些男人這樣看著我們
Why are the men looking at us like that?
身為明星被認出很正常 可這感覺不同
No, I get recognized a lot, but this is different.
我還記得這目光 這是...
I remember that look. It's...
欲望
Desire.
他們在直視我們
They're looking at us.
在洛杉磯 男人都無視我們
In L.A., they look past us.
-女士們 -你們好嗎
- Ladies. - How you doing?
你們好嗎
How you doing?
-你們好 -你好
- Hello. - Hey.
我覺得自己好年輕 好性感
I feel young and hot...
感覺他們在用目光為我寬衣解帶
Like they're undressing me with their eyes
卻沒有發現塑身褲
and not finding spanx.
我們還浪費時間 千辛萬苦
To think that we spend all that time and effort
揮金如土 讓自己看起來年輕十歲
and money trying to look ten years younger
瘦身十磅 費那個勁幹什麼
and ten pounds lighter, and all we had to do
只要迫降在克利夫蘭就行了
was crash-land in Cleveland.
在這裡 男人看起來像真男人
Where all the men look like real men
女人看起來像真女人
and the women look like real women.
大家都在猛吃 卻沒人覺得不好意思
And everyone's eating and no one's ashamed.
我要點辣薯條
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