今天就來盤點一下「好脾氣」和「壞脾氣」的那點事兒！
Who do you want to be? It's a simple question, and whether you know it or not, you're answering it every day through your actions. This one question will define your professional success more than any other, because how you show up and treat people means everything.
你想成為誰？這是一個簡單的問題，不管你知不知道答案，你每天都在用你的行動回答它。這一個問題會比其他的問題能更好地定義你的事業是否成功，因為你的表現和對待他人的方式代表了一切。
Either you lift people up by respecting them, making them feel valued, appreciated and heard, or you hold people down by making them feel small, insulted, disregarded or excluded. And who you choose to be means everything.
要麼你尊重別人，讓他們感到被重視，被欣賞，被傾聽，以此來鼓舞他們，或者你讓人們覺得自己渺小、被侮辱、被漠視或被排斥，從而壓制他們。你選擇成為誰就意味著一切。
I study the effects of incivility on people. What is incivility? It's disrespect or rudeness. It includes a lot of different behaviors, from mocking or belittling someone to teasing people in ways that sting to telling offensive jokes to texting in meetings. And what's uncivil to one person may be absolutely fine to another.
我研究了在人類身上不文明行為的影響。什麼是不文明？是不尊重或者粗魯無禮。它包含了許多不同的行為，從嘲笑或者輕蔑某人，到以刺痛的方式戲弄他人，到開冒犯人的玩笑，到在會議上發簡訊。一個人覺得失禮的行為，另一個來說是完全可以接受的。
Take texting while someone's speaking to you. Some of us may find it rude, others may think it's absolutely civil. So it really depends. It's all in the eyes of the beholder and whether that person felt disrespected. We may not mean to make someone feel that way, but when we do, it has consequences.
當別人在跟你說話的時候發簡訊，我們當中的一些人可能覺得這很無禮，另一些人可能覺得這完全可以接受。所以這真的得看情況。這完全取決於旁觀者的看法和那個人是否感到不尊重。我們可能並沒有讓某人那麼想的打算，但是當我們做了之後，你就要為它付出代價。
Over 22 years ago, I vividly recall walking into this stuffy hospital room. It was heartbreaking to see my dad, this strong, athletic, energetic guy, lying in the bed with electrodes strapped to his bare chest. What put him there was work-related stress. For over a decade, he suffered an uncivil boss. And for me, I thought he was just an outlier at that time.
22年前，我清楚地記得走進這個古板的醫院病房，我心碎的看著我爸爸這個堅強，體格健壯，精力充沛的男人躺在床上，電極綁在他裸露的胸膛上。使他躺在那裡的是和工作相關的壓力。十多年來，他有一個不文明的老闆。我曾以為他只是一個特例。
But just a couple years later, I witnessed and experienced a lot of incivility in my first job out of college. I spent a year going to work every day and hearing things from coworkers like, "Are you an idiot? That's not how it's done," and, "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask."
但是僅僅幾年後，在我畢業後的第一個工作內我眼見和親身遭遇了許多不文明行為。我花了一年的時間每天去工作和聽取同事的意見，就像「你是白痴嗎？這不是這麼做的」和「我如果需要你的意見，我會問。」
So I did the natural thing. I quit, and I went back to grad school to study the effects of this. There, I met Christine Pearson. And she had a theory that small, uncivil actions can lead to much bigger problems like aggression and violence. We believed that incivility affected performance and the bottom line. So we launched a study, and what we found was eye-opening.
所以我做了再自然不過的事情。辭職，然後回到大學研究這個對人產生的效應。在那裡，我認識了克裡斯廷·皮爾森，她有一個理論，那些小小的，不文明的行為，可導致更大的問題，比如侵略和暴力。我們相信不禮貌行為會影響一個人的表現和結果。所以我們開展了一個研究，所發現的讓我們大開眼界。
We sent a survey to business school alumni working in all different organizations. We asked them to write a few sentences about one experience where they were treated rudely, disrespectfully or insensitively, and to answer questions about how they reacted.
我們寄了一個調查表給在不同機構工作的商學院的學生，我們要求他們寫一小段關於他們被粗魯對待，不被尊重或是被無視的一段經歷，然後回答他們當時是什麼反應？
One person told us about a boss that made insulting statements like, "That's kindergartner's work," and another tore up someone's work in front of the entire team. And what we found is that incivility made people less motivated: 66 percent cut back work efforts, 80 percent lost time worrying about what happened, and 12 percent left their job.
有人告訴我們有一個老闆一直說侮辱性的話：「那是幼兒園小孩的工作。」另一個在全隊面前把某人的工作撕毀。我們發現了那些不文明行為會消減人們的動力，66%的人們工作動力減少，80%的人們浪費時間去擔心即將會發生點什麼事情，和12%人們會直接辭職。
And after we published these results, two things happened. One, we got calls from organizations. Cisco read about these numbers, took just a few of these and estimated, conservatively, that incivility was costing them 12 million dollars a year.
當我們公布了這些結果後，發生了兩件事情。一， 我們接到了企業的電話，思科系統閱讀了這些數據，使用了其中的一些，作了保守的估計，發現他們曾因為不文明的行為一年損失了1200萬美元。
The second thing that happened was, we heard from others in our academic field who said, "Well, people are reporting this, but how can you really show it? Does people's performance really suffer?" I was curious about that, too. With Amir Erez, I compared those that experienced incivility to those that didn't experience incivility. And what we found is that those that experience incivility do actually function much worse.
第二件發生的事情是，我們聽到了在學術界的人說：「好吧，人們在報導它，但是你可以真的證明它嗎？人們的表現真的會變糟嗎？」我也對它很好奇。和阿米爾·埃雷茲一起，我對比了遭遇過不文明行為的人和不曾受到不文明行為的人。我們發現那些受到過不文明行為的工作真的會做得更差。
"OK," you may say. "This makes sense. After all, it's natural that their performance suffers." But what about if you're not the one who experiences it? What if you just see or hear it? You're a witness. We wondered if it affected witnesses, too.
「好吧，」你可能會說。「這是講得通的。他們的表現會變糟是自然的事情。」但是如果你不是那個經歷過的人呢？如果你只是看到或者聽到呢？你是目擊者。我們想知道目擊者會不會也受到影響。
So we conducted studies where five participants would witness an experimenter act rudely to someone who arrived late to the study. The experimenter said, "What is it with you? You arrive late, you're irresponsible. Look at you! How do you expect to hold a job in the real world?"
所以我們進行了研究，五個參加者見證實驗者粗魯地對待一個晚到實驗室的人。實驗者說，「你怎麼回事？你晚到，你不負責任。看看你自己！你怎麼可能勝任現實世界裡的工作？」
And in another study in a small group, we tested the effects of a peer insulting a group member. Now, what we found was really interesting, because witnesses' performance decreased, too -- and not just marginally, quite significantly.
在另一個小組研究中，我們測試了同僚侮辱一個隊友的影響。現在，我們發現了非常有趣的事情，因為證人的表現也下降了——不僅僅是輕微的，相當顯著。
Incivility is a bug. It's contagious, and we become carriers of it just by being around it. And this isn't confined to the workplace. We can catch this virus anywhere -- at home, online, in schools and in our communities.
不文明是個病。它是有傳染性的，我們只是在它周圍就成了它的攜帶者。而且這並不局限於工作場所。我們可以在任何地方感染這種病毒——在家裡，在網上，在學校和我們的社區。
It affects our emotions, our motivation, our performance and how we treat others. It even affects our attention and can take some of our brainpower. And this happens not only if we experience incivility or we witness it. It can happen even if we just see or read rude words. Let me give you an example of what I mean.
它會影響我們的心情，動力，表現和怎麼對待他人。它甚至會影響我們的注意力和剝奪一些腦力。它的發生不僅僅是因為我們經歷過或者目睹過不文明，它甚至會因為我們看過或者讀過粗魯的話而發生。讓我給你們打個比喻。
To test this, we gave people combinations of words to use to make a sentence. But we were very sneaky. Half the participants got a list with 15 words used to trigger rudeness: impolitely, interrupt, obnoxious, bother. Half the participants received a list of words with none of these rude triggers.
為了證明這個，我們給了別人一些詞的組合讓他們造句。但是我們非常狡猾。有一半的參與者收到一個觸發粗魯的十五個詞的列表: 沒禮貌，打斷，惹人厭，打擾。另一半的參與者收到了不會觸發粗魯的詞的列表。
And what we found was really surprising, because the people who got the rude words were five times more likely to miss information right in front of them on the computer screen. And as we continued this research, what we found is that those that read the rude words took longer to make decisions, to record their decisions, and they made significantly more errors. This can be a big deal, especially when it comes to life-and-death situations.
我們的發現令人驚訝，因為收到粗魯詞的人們在電腦屏幕前漏掉信息的可能性比其他人多出了五倍。當我們繼續這個研究時，我們還發現了那些讀過粗魯詞的人們需要更長的時間做決定，記錄決定，而且他們明顯犯了更多的錯誤。這非常重要，尤其是在生和死的局面裡。
Steve, a physician, told me about a doctor that he worked with who was never very respectful, especially to junior staff and nurses. But Steve told me about this one particular interaction where this doctor shouted at a medical team. Right after the interaction, the team gave the wrong dosage of medication to their patient. Steve said the information was right there on the chart, but somehow everyone on the team missed it. He said they lacked the attention or awareness to take it into account. Simple mistake, right? Well, that patient died.
史蒂夫，一名從醫者，曾告訴過我關於一名曾和他一起工作過的醫生的事情。他從來不尊重別人，尤其是對資歷較淺的員工和護士。但是史蒂夫告訴我，有一次那個醫生對團隊大聲訓斥。剛好在那之後，團隊開了錯的藥的劑量給他們的患者。史蒂夫說所有信息就在圖表上，但是不知道怎麼的團隊裡的每個人都錯過了它。他說他們缺乏注意力，也沒有考慮全信息的意識。不過是個簡單的錯誤，對嗎？嗯，那個患者死了。
Researchers in Israel have actually shown that medical teams exposed to rudeness perform worse not only in all their diagnostics, but in all the procedures they did. This was mainly because the teams exposed to rudeness didn't share information as readily, and they stopped seeking help from their teammates. And I see this not only in medicine but in all industries.
以色列的研究者們發現，承受過粗魯行為的醫療團隊不僅僅是在他們所有的診斷上表現差，而是在所有他們做過的事情上都表現得很差。最主要是因為被粗魯對待過的團隊不會樂意共享信息，他們還會停止尋求隊友幫助。我並不只是在醫療行業上看到，而是在所有的行業裡都看到了。
So if incivility has such a huge cost, why do we still see so much of it? I was curious, so we surveyed people about this, too. The number one reason is stress. People feel overwhelmed. The other reason that people are not more civil is because they're skeptical and even concerned about being civil or appearing nice.
所以如果不文明有這麼大的代價的話，它為什麼還這麼常見？我很好奇，所以我們也做了關於這個的問卷調查。最重要的原因是壓力，人們感到被壓垮了。人們不再文明還因為他們持懷疑態度，甚至擔心成為文明或者好相處的人。
They believe they'll appear less leader-like. They wonder: Do nice guys finish last? Or in other words: Do jerks get ahead? It's easy to think so, especially when we see a few prominent examples that dominate the conversation.
他們堅信他們會看起來不像領導者。他們自問: 好相處的人們真會堅持到最後嗎？或者說: 混蛋難道不一直會領先嗎？大家很容易會這麼想，尤其是當我們看到一些突出的例子支配著的談話。
Well, it turns out, in the long run, they don't. There's really rich research on this by Morgan McCall and Michael Lombardo when they were at the Center for Creative Leadership. They found that the number one reason tied to executive failure was an insensitive, abrasive or bullying style.
事實證明，從長遠來看，他們並沒有。摩根·麥考爾和麥可·隆巴爾多，當他們在創意領導中心的時候，對此進行了豐富的研究。他們發現與執行失敗相關的主要原因是一種不理智，使人厭煩的或者欺凌的處事風格。
There will always be some outliers that succeed despite their incivility. Sooner or later, though, most uncivil people sabotage their success. For example, with uncivil executives, it comes back to hurt them when they're in a place of weakness or they need something. People won't have their backs.
當然總會有一些例外，即使他們不文明也成功了。早晚有一天，大部分的不文明會阻擾他們的成就。比如，不文明的領導，當他們處於弱勢或者需要東西時就慘了。因為別人不會支持他們。
But what about nice guys? Does civility pay? Yes, it does. And being civil doesn't just mean that you're not a jerk. Not holding someone down isn't the same as lifting them up. Being truly civil means doing the small things, like smiling and saying hello in the hallway, listening fully when someone's speaking to you. Now, you can have strong opinions, disagree, have conflict or give negative feedback civilly, with respect. Some people call it "radical candor," where you care personally, but you challenge directly.
那些好人呢？文明有回報嗎？當然有。文明不代表你不是一個混蛋，不輕視別人和鼓舞別人不一樣。真正的文明代表做好小細節，就像在過道微笑和打招呼，當別人跟你講話時專注地傾聽。現在，你可以有強烈的意見，不同意他人，與他人起衝突或者文明地給別人負面的反饋，前提是要尊重別人。有些人叫它「徹底的坦率」 ，就是你關心對方，同時也可以挑戰對方。
So yes, civility pays. In a biotechnology firm, colleagues and I found that those that were seen as civil were twice as likely to be viewed as leaders, and they performed significantly better. Why does civility pay? Because people see you as an important -- and a powerful -- unique combination of two key characteristics: warm and competent, friendly and smart. In other words, being civil isn't just about motivating others. It's about you. If you're civil, you're more likely to be seen as a leader. You'll perform better, and you're seen as warm and competent.
所以，是的，文明是有回報的。在一個生物技術公司，我和我同事發現那些被公認為文明的人被視為領導的可能性有兩倍，而且他們的表現明顯較好。為什麼文明有回報？因為別人會看你是一個重要的和強大的人。結合兩個特徵的獨一無二的組合：熱情和能幹，友好和聰明。換而言之，文明不只可以激勵別人，也是為了自己。如果你文明，你更有可能被看成一位領導者。你會表現得更好，同時看起來更熱情和能幹。
But there's an even bigger story about how civility pays, and it ties to one of the most important questions around leadership: What do people want most from their leaders? We took data from over 20,000 employees around the world, and we found the answer was simple: respect.
文明的回報不止於此，它與領導力最重要的問題息息相關：大家從領導那裡最想得到什麼？我們取了全世界2萬員工的數據，找到的答案很簡單：尊重。
Being treated with respect was more important than recognition and appreciation, useful feedback, even opportunities for learning. Those that felt respected were healthier, more focused, more likely to stay with their organization and far more engaged.
被尊重對待比認識和欣賞，比有效的反饋甚至比學習的機會更重要。那些感到被尊重對待的人更健康，更集中，更有可能留在機構裡和更投入。
So where do you start? How can you lift people up and make people feel respected? Well, the nice thing is, it doesn't require a huge shift. Small things can make a big difference. I found that thanking people, sharing credit, listening attentively, humbly asking questions, acknowledging others and smiling has an impact.
所以你該從哪裡開始？你要怎麼讓別人振作起來和讓他們感到尊重？值得高興的是，它不需要很大的改變。做小小的事情可以有很大的改變。我發現學會感恩，分享功勞，專注的聆聽，謙虛的提問，認可他人和微笑都是有影響的。
Patrick Quinlan, former CEO of Ochsner Health [System], told me about the effects of their 10-5 way, where if you're within 10 feet of someone, you make eye contact and smile, and if you're within five feet, you say hello. He explained that civility spread, patient satisfaction scores rose, as did patient referrals.
派屈克·昆蘭，奧斯納健康系統的前執行首席官，曾告訴過我他們的 「10-5步」的方法，當你跟某人在十英尺的距離內，你要和他對視微笑，當你們在五英尺的距離內你要說你好。他說文明行為擴展了，患者的滿足指數提升了，患者的推薦指數也上升了。
Civility and respect can be used to boost an organization's performance. When my friend Doug Conant took over as CEO of Campbell's Soup Company in 2001, the company's market share had just dropped in half. Sales were declining, lots of people had just been laid off. A Gallup manager said it was the least engaged organization that they had surveyed. And as Doug drove up to work his first day, he noticed that the headquarters was surrounded by barbwire fence. There were guard towers in the parking lot. He said it looked like a minimum security prison. It felt toxic.
文明和尊重可以促進機構的業績。當我的朋友道格·康南特在2011出任坎貝爾公司的執行長時，公司的股票剛跌了一半，銷售在往下跌，很多人被解僱了。一位蓋洛普經理表示在他們的調查歷史中，這是最不受歡迎的組織。當道格第一天開車去上班時，他發現總公司被鐵鋼絲的圍牆包圍，停車場裡有警衛塔。他說就像一個小小的安全監獄。他感覺有毒。
Within five years, Doug had turned things around. And within nine years, they were setting all-time performance records and racking up awards, including best place to work. How did he do it? On day one, Doug told employees that he was going to have high standards for performance, but they were going to do it with civility.
在五年內，道格改變了很多東西，在九年內，他們突破了空前的業績記錄，並獲得獎項，包括最好的工作場所。他是怎麼做到的？第一天，道格就跟員工說他會有很高的業績標準，但是我們要文明地達到它。
He walked the talk, and he expected his leaders to. For Doug, it all came down to being tough-minded on standards and tenderhearted with people. For him, he said it was all about these touch points, or these daily interactions he had with employees, whether in the hallway, in the cafeteria or in meetings. And if he handled each touch point well, he'd make employees feel valued.
他帶頭表態，同時他也希望他的領導們也能這樣。對道格來說，這一切都歸結為對標準的嚴格要求和用好脾氣對人。對他來說，這一切都是關於這些接觸點，或者他與員工的日常互動，無論是在走廊、自助餐廳還是在會議室。如果他處理好每一個接觸點，他會讓員工感到有價值。
Another way that Doug made employees feel valued and showed them that he was paying attention is that he handwrote over 30,000 thank-you notes to employees. And this set an example for other leaders. Leaders have about 400 of these touch points a day. Most don't take long, less than two minutes each. The key is to be agile and mindful in each of these moments.
道格還有一個使他員工感到被重視，讓員工知道他被用心對待的方法：他給他的員工們手寫了三萬張感謝條。這給其他領導人樹立了榜樣。他們每天大概有400個這樣的接觸點，大部分都不長，少於兩分鐘，重點是在每個時刻保持敏捷和專注。
Civility lifts people. We'll get people to give more and function at their best if we're civil. Incivility chips away at people and their performance. It robs people of their potential, even if they're just working around it. What I know from my research is that when we have more civil environments, we're more productive, creative, helpful, happy and healthy.
文明能鼓勵人們。如果我們有禮貌的話，我們會讓人們付出更多，發揮出最大的作用。不文明會一點點消耗人並影響他們的業績，它剝奪了人們的潛能，即便是一旁工作的人也一樣。我從我的研究中了解到的是當我們有更文明的環境時，我們更有效率，更有創造力、更願意幫助別人、更快樂和更健康。
We can do better. Each one of us can be more mindful and can take actions to lift others up around us, at work, at home, online, in schools and in our communities. In every interaction, think: Who do you want to be?
我們可以做得更好。我們每個人都可以更加用心，可以採取行動，在工作中，在家裡，在網上，在學校裡，在我們的社區裡，讓其他人融入我們的生活。在每次互動中，想想：你想成為誰？
Let's put an end to incivility bug and start spreading civility. After all, it pays.
讓我們結束不文明，和開始擴散文明。總而言之，它是有回報的。
Thank you.
謝謝。
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