第三是需要注意句子的修辭(翅膀 2 )。
簡單來說,鐵蝶三部分囊括了高階英文寫作所需的「知識」、「思辨」和「語言」三大塊。下面我們分別來解釋這三方面的內容。
首先需要強調一點:Writing always before English writing (寫作永遠先於英文寫作)。英文只是一個工具,我們的目標是寫作和英文之間的協作。我們教過很多學生,短短幾百字的文章,他磨磨唧唧寫了幾小時:他可能說話頭頭是道,但一提筆寫來寫去就那幾句話;還有學生不知道寫什麼,好不艱難擠牙膏一樣擠出個開頭,便草草結尾了;很多人不知道寫作如何具體,寫出來的詞大而空;還有些人想到什麼就寫什麼,洋洋灑灑幾千字,但寫完一看,不僅如流水帳,而且毫無邏輯、又臭又長——說實話,這些都是很常見的現象。寫作和口語表達不是一回事。無論是中文寫作還是英文寫作,其內容輸出都帶有目的,要麼是解釋一件事,要麼是論述一個觀點。所以,說理論證和經驗感知都是必要且實用的。按照表達形式的說法,即論述型寫作和敘述型寫作。我們舉個例子,用一個最簡單的話題:你喜歡什麼,What do you like?I like motorcycles, I feel cool and freedom.I very like my motorcycle. My motorcycle is big. My motorcycle is fast. My motorcycle is cool. I ride my motorcycle makes me feel good. Many friends have motorcycles. We ride together because of fun.
人們很容易寫自己第一反應的東西,但是很少將事物具體化和詢問為什麼。好比你喜歡摩託車,但是為什麼喜歡?如果你只是單薄地寫很酷和很自由,沒有具體的事例支撐,讀者是感受不到怎麼酷,怎麼自由的。不過這很正常,因為你不可能一開始就寫出一篇內容滿滿,從頭到尾邏輯自恰的文章。這個話題內容輸出的目的是,說清楚一件事,即我喜歡摩託車(觀點),然後需要用你的經歷、感受(論據)來解釋你為什麼喜歡它。當你不知道寫什麼內容,怎麼寫的時候,你可以從開始一個有趣的故事或者經歷作為啟發點,幫助你開始寫作。寫作需要畫面感,如果把具體的時間和經歷寫出來,會讓讀者知道你寫的是什麼,通過具體事例和你感到共鳴。比如,我們描述一個場景:早上 7 點陽光不錯,但是我今天要走 30 英裡的路程。北京的交通早高峰才剛剛開始,但是我已經到城郊了。現在 2018 年的夏天,但是天氣還不是很熱。我的工作是教孩子們如何進行荒野生存,從 G101 國道到長城的一段路,這不是準確的荒野,因為我童年在這的童子軍營度過了很久。不過騎著我的摩託是件很棒的事,我把我的 Suzuki G-150 叫「小馬」,它引擎很小,在美國是不能上公路的。但是,它是我用我自己的錢買下的,是我的第一份禮物,我喜歡我的摩託車。It was almost seven, but the sun had been up for almost an hour. I still had about 30 milesto go. Morning rush-hour traffic was just starting, but I was already in the suburbs. It was the summer of 2018, but the weather was still cool. In a couple of weeks, the weather would get very hot. I had a job teaching basic wilderness survival to kids. We'd take them to the mountains in north Beijing and there were a lot of trees there. The G101 National Highway goes past the Great Wall up there and into the plains. It's not exactly "wilderness" because I spent most of my childhood in the Boyscouts; however, it's always nice to ride my motorcycle out of the city. I called my Suzuki G-150 my "pony." The engine was very small. It wouldn't even be road legal in the States. But Ibought her with my own money and she was my first big purchase. I loved my motorcycle like a real pony too.這樣,你有了內容。交代了 What,Why,When,Where,How 基本的文章五大要素。這個時候你說喜歡摩託並且覺得它很酷,很自由,讀者是可以理解的。但是這裡依舊有兩個明顯的錯誤:1. 這個寫作和以英文為母語的人用口語說的沒有區別。2. 連接詞 and 濫用,其實前後兩句話並不相關。但是,這一步已經解決了——我到底要寫什麼內容的問題。A motorcycle was always welcome. My pony, "as I lovingly referred to her at the time, was a SuzukiG·150 cruiser, with an engine so tiny by international standards that it wouldn't even be road legal in a place like the States, roaring with all the fury of an over-sized lawnmower. But she was mine, bought and paid for with my own hard-earned money, my first substantive purchase; andI loved her all the same just as if she actually had hooves, a tail, and neighed.
首先是敘述了我的摩託車是什麼樣的摩託車,有愛稱,小而聲音大的引擎,你會在腦子裡聯想出畫面。接著,給出原因,因為它是我賺錢買下的第一份禮物。這樣一來,就能夠理解為什麼「我愛我的小摩託」。換句話說,要解釋一件事,首先確定待解釋事件是什麼,追尋原因為什麼,然後去找可以回答為什麼的答案,這便確定了框架(邏輯)。如果要論證一件事情,你可以用很典型的三段論,即提出有哪些前提(給出大前提、小前提),然後通過邏輯推演出最終會得出什麼結論。這個結論就是你要說的事情。比如:Premise 1:Unconnected fact points are extremely difficult to retain.
Premise 2:English orthographic discrepancies are (often) unconnected fact points.
Therefore: English orthographic discrepancies are (often) extremely difficult to retain.
Basic sentence: The boy coasts down the street.
Pattern loaded: The small boy on the red bicycle who(之)lives with his happy parents on our shady street often coasts down the steep street until he comes to the city park.
也有些同學喜歡一個句子一個句子地寫,如同牙牙學語般。比如:我稱呼我的摩託車「小馬」。它引擎很小。它在美國公路不合法。如下:However, it's always nice to ride my motorcycle out of the city. I called my SuzukiG-150 "my pony." The engine was very small. It wouldn't even be road legal in the States.
但是,不管是英語、西班牙語、法語、德語或者拉丁語,它們的複雜是因為可以把很多層面的意思塞進句子裡。所以實際上我們說漂亮的句子,是能夠濃縮各種信息和畫面感的句子。以上述句子為例,我們合成一個即漂亮也不拖沓的句子,如下:A motorcycle was always welcome. My pony, "as I lovingly referred to her at the time, was a SuzukiG·150 cruiser, with an engine so tiny by international standards that it wouldn't even be road legal in a place like the States, roaring with all the fury of an over-sized lawnmower. But she was mine, bought and paid for with my own hard-earned money, my first substantive purchase; andI loved her all the same just as if she actually had hooves, a tail, and neighed.在加粗的句子中,我們知道其主句是:My "pony" was a Suzuki G-150 cruiser. 但是中間插入了其他解釋說明的短句,這就變成了所謂的長難句。這句話首先用連接詞 As 作解釋「pony」是我對摩託車的愛稱,用 With 去描述摩託車自帶的引擎小且在美國公路上屬不合法,最後用動名詞 Roaring 解釋不合法是因為它引擎聲音太大。事實上,你在進行英文寫作時,就是在創作和解構長難句,同時也在構造畫面感。從句子修辭來看,句子最後說摩託車的引擎聲音就像超大號的憤怒割草機。這是一個比喻,但是會很形象地讓你在腦海裡聯想到超大號割草機的聲響,而且是快失控的那種。如此,這倒也不僅僅是英文語言問題,順道可以鍛鍊中文。所以從語言學習的角度來說,英文寫作對於語言能力進階極為重要且實用。再舉個例子,假設請你描述北京交通早高峰,你會寫什麼?有的人大概會寫太堵了,可怕;有的人會寫都是車但是動彈不得數小時。如果想有畫面感,我們就可以把早高峰的交通比喻為從沉睡中醒來的巨獸,使你一下子腦子就浮現出畫面。It was barely seven o'clock in the morning, but the sun had already been up for aboutan hour, and I still had roughly 30 miles to cover. Luckily, at this hour, thebeast of morning rush-hour traffic was just beginning to awaken from its nocturnal slumber; and I was already pushing into the outskirts of the city.
有目的地練習,模仿是快速提升寫作能力的有效方法。俗話說,熟讀唐詩三百首,不會作詩也會吟。這也是為什麼社會一直提倡大家讀書且多讀經典書目。從寫作的方面解釋,有足量的輸入才能有創作性的輸出。很多事是從模仿開始,無論是讀書,寫字還是繪畫。在模仿時也要帶上思考,比如大師寫了什麼句子結構,為什麼大師寫作這麼做句子修辭?拆解和推敲每一個句子和詞語,是提升自身寫作好而優的快速通道。不斷地模仿,也不斷地向自己提問,為什麼。如此循環往復,無論是論述型還是敘述型寫作,無論是商業報告還是信件寫作,你就會有了內容,然後運用思辨和邏輯把一個個內容串聯起來,之後用上句子修辭進行改寫雕琢。如此一來,你必然可以寫出一篇好而優的高質量英文文章。