Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.—Eleanor Roosevelt
與自己的友誼是非常重要的，因為沒有它，一個人不可能與世界上任何其他人成為朋友。
——埃莉諾·羅斯福
We often focus on building relationships with others that we forget the essential first step: being friends of ourselves. That is the crucial first step if we are to have good relationships with others. How can we have good relationships with others if we don't even have good relationship with ourselves?
我們常常專注於與他人建立關係，卻忘記了最重要的第一步:與自己成為朋友。這是至關重要的第一步，如果我們要與他人有良好的關係。如果我們和自己都沒有良好的關係，我們怎麼能和他人建立良好的關係呢?
The problem might be worse than we expect. Maybe we don't like ourselves without realizing it. Here is a simple checklist; is there anything you don't like about yourself from these list?
這個問題可能比我們想像的還要嚴重。也許我們不喜歡自己卻沒有意識到這一點。這是一個簡單的清單；在這些列表中，有什麼是你不喜歡自己的地方嗎?
Your past
你的過去
Maybe you have made mistakes in the past which you feel bad about. You might be disappointed with yourself on why you could make such mistakes. Even if that happened in distant past, your subconscious mind still has a reason not to like yourself.
也許你在過去犯了錯誤，你感到很難過。你可能會對自己為什麼會犯這樣的錯誤感到失望。即使那發生在遙遠的過去，你的潛意識仍然有理由不喜歡自己。
Your background
你的背景
You might wish that you were born in different family, or that you have different background. Maybe you could not accept the fact that you are not as lucky as others, who seem to get whatever they want effortlessly because of their background.
你可能希望你出生在不同的家庭，或者你有不同的背景。也許你無法接受這樣的事實，你不像其他人那樣幸運，因為他們的背景，似乎可以毫不費力地得到他們想要的任何東西。
Your personality traits(特徵)
你的性格特徵
You might have some personality traits that you don't like. For example, you may bean introvert(內向的人) and you don't like it; you wish you are an extrovert.
你可能有一些你不喜歡的性格特點。例如，你可能是一個內向的人，你不喜歡這樣；你希望自己是一個外向的人。
Your achievements relative to others
你的成就與其他人相比
Others might have better achievements than you, and no matter how hard you tried, it might seem impossible for you to match them. You might then think that it's because you are not smart enough or don't have enough talents.
其他人可能比你有更好的成就，無論你多麼努力，你似乎不可能比得上他們。你可能會認為這是因為你不夠聰明或沒有足夠的天賦。
Is there anything that resonate(共鳴) with you? All these give reasons to you not to like yourself. That in turn makes it difficult for you to be a good friend to yourself.
有什麼能讓你產生共鳴嗎？所有這些都讓你有理由不喜歡自己。這反過來又讓你很難成為自己的好朋友。
Fortunately, there are always things you can do to fix the situation. Here are some tips:
幸運的是，總有一些事情你可以做來改善這種情況。以下是一些建議:
1. Forgive yourself
1. 原諒你自己
You may have made those mistakes in the past, but is there anything you can do about them? I don't think so, except learning from them. It's true that you are not perfect, but neither is everybody else. It’s normal to make mistakes, so do yourself a favor by giving yourself forgiveness.
你可能在過去犯過這些錯誤，但是你能做些什麼來彌補呢？我不這麼認為，除了向他們學習。你確實不完美，但其他人也不完美。犯錯誤是正常的，所以請原諒自己吧。
2. Accept things you can't change
2. 接受你無法改變的事情
There are some things you cannot change, such as your background and your past. So learn to accept them. You will feel much relieved if you treat things you can’t change the way they deserve: just accept them, smile, and move on.
有些東西是你無法改變的，比如你的背景和你的過去。所以要學會接受他們。當你對待那些你無法改變的事情時，你會感到如釋重負：接受它們，微笑，繼續前行。
3. Focus on your strengths
3. 關注自己的優勢
Instead of focusing on your weaknesses, focus on your strengths. You always have some strengths which give you a unique combination nobody else have. Recognize your strengths and build your life around them.
不要總想著你的缺點，而要多想想你的優點。你總是有一些優勢，給你獨特的組合，別人沒有。認識到你的長處，圍繞它們建立你的生活。
4. Write your success stories
4. 寫出你的成功故事
One reason we may not like ourselves is we are too focused on what we don’t have that we forget about what we have. So make a list of your achievements; write your success stories. They do not have to be big things; there are a lot of small but important achievements in our life. For example, if you have some good friends, that’s already an achievement. If you have a good family, that is also an achievement.
我們不喜歡自己的一個原因可能是我們太關注我們不擁有的，而忘記了我們擁有的。所以列出你的成就；寫下你的成功故事。它們不一定是大事；在我們的生活中有許多微小但重要的成就。例如，如果你有一些好朋友，這已經是一種成就。如果你有一個好的家庭，這也是一種成就。
5. Stop comparing yourself with others
5. 不要再拿自己和別人比較
You are unique. You can never be like other people, and neither can other people be like you. The way you measure your success is not determined by other people and what they achieve. Instead, it is determined by your own life purpose. You have everything you need to achieve your life purpose, so it's useless to compare yourself with others.
你是獨一無二的。你永遠不可能像別人，別人也不可能像你。你衡量自己成功的方式並不是由他人和他們所取得的成就來決定的。相反，它是由你自己的生活目標決定的。你擁有實現人生目標所需要的一切，所以拿自己和別人比較是沒有用的。
6. Always be true to yourself
6. 永遠做真實的自己
You don't like other people lying to you, right? Similarly, you won't like yourself if you know that you lie to yourself. Whether you realize it or not, that gives your mind a reason not to like yourself. That’s why it's important to always be true to yourself. In whatever you do, be honest and follow your conscience(良心). Remember this quote by Abraham Lincoln:
你不喜歡別人對你撒謊，對吧？同樣，如果你知道你在欺騙自己，你也不會喜歡自己。不管你是否意識到，這給了你一個不喜歡自己的理由。這就是為什麼對自己誠實很重要。無論你做什麼，都要誠實，跟著你的良心走。記住亞伯拉罕·林肯的這句話:
I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end... I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.
我希望這樣來管理這屆政府的事務，如果在結束時……我已經失去了地球上所有的朋友，我至少還會有一個朋友，而那個朋友將在我的內心深處。
助讀強化
crucial adj. 至關重要的，關鍵性的
effortlessly adv. 輕鬆地；毫不費勁地
personality n. 個性，性格
achievement n. 成就；成績
talent n. 天賦；才能
deserve v.（不用於進行時態）應得；應
quote n. 引文
build relationships with others 與他人建立關係
the essential first step 最重要的第一步
a simple checklist 一份簡單的清單
make mistakes in the past 在過去犯了錯誤
be disappointed with oneself 對自己失望
in distant past 在遙遠的過去
as lucky as others 像其他人一樣幸運
relative to sb 相對於某人
in turn 反過來
fix the situation 解決困境
do oneself a favor 幫自己一個忙
giving oneself forgiveness 原諒自己
a unique combination 獨特的組合
stop comparing oneself with others 停止與他人作比較
life purpose 生活目標
lie to sb 對某人撒謊
conduct the affairs of this administration 管理這屆政府的事務
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