We went to a Thank-you dinner party where we met some outstanding average people yesterday evening.
(1)
Our host and hostess, a beautiful young couple, shared some interesting anecdotes about their love stories. Their marriage was a lightning one. Soon after they had met, they decided to get married.
The bridegroom with a chubby face told all the guests, 「Before we got married, I said to my wife, 『I』ve just had a failure in business. Now I have nothing. No flat. No car. And in future, I may fail again.』 But she said, 『It’s all right. Even though you fail, I still have a job. We won’t get starved. We can always live on.』 Her answer touched me greatly. I will love her all my life. She’s the only one I will have this life.」
We were all glad for them. Now they have had a baby son, the party being the celebration for his 100 days. At the party, they renewed their wedding vows.
(2)
At our table, there was a family of four. The young son was only 5, contented with playing the two balloons; Ray whispered to me, 「If we had a second child, he/she should be this old now.」 I nodded silently.
The elder daughter was talking to her dad and an uncle all the time, showing confidence rare at her age. She was studying in the top class of a key senior middle school, yet what she loved was art and would like to study art at university. Her parents were understandably supportive. She told us, she was the only one in her class who did not go to a cram school in the limited spare time.
It is not easy to meet a family like this. The parents respect children’s choices, believing that learning should last lifelong instead of fighting for scores at a young age. I feel happy for them – this family is like a slice of hope flickering in dark. I know only too well that most other kids are not this lucky to have supportive parents like them.
(3)
Another man of our table told us that a colleague of his, a mother of a third-grader in primary school, had just died from cerebral hemorrhage while tutoring her child at home. This horrifying intensity in learning is not just killing children but also parents now. So I admired the nerve of the young lady sitting on my right who was getting prepared for pregnancy and still stayed firm after hearing such shockingly sad news. 「I will do my best to learn to be a good parent,」 she said.
(4)
After the dinner, we all walked to the big balcony decorated with flowers and gas fires. It was not real cold. A small band was playing some pop songs. I had felt bored until some people talking beside one of the fires attracted my attention. Listening to them for a while, I joined them.
A young man named Dacheng sat in a wheel chair, wearing a bright red coat. Patiently he answered friends』 enquiry about his recent situation, and later he answered a lot of my questions.
A car accident ruined his normal life eight years ago. Hospitalized for nine months, he could not walk any more after he was released from the hospital. He couldn’t accept this cruel fate and isolated himself at home for two years, grousing about his tragedy. He had just been at the height of his life before the accident happened. A father of two boys, one eight, the other only a few months old, he had a successful career and a happy family. Coming from the rural area, he was very content with his life. Yet suddenly, the sky of the family collapsed as the disaster overwhelmed them, taking away their family harmony for years.
「What did I do to deserve this? Why me?」 I surmised that he must have asked God such questions repeatedly like Job in the Old Testament.
Eventually, supported by his loyal wife (who said, 「My idea is simple: nothing can beat the fact that he is alive. So we got over.」), he began to learn to accept the fact. He began to embrace life one more time. He accepted trainings to adapt to the new life and even got his C5 driving license. Now he depends on no one when he is away from home.
He said, he was now helping others who were in a similar situation because he had been helped by many others. Most of these disadvantaged people were not as lucky as he was. It was so difficult for them to get out of isolation. They desperately needed help.
Indeed, these people in wheel chairs are almost invisible in the real life. Their needs are not usually taken into account when infrastructure is built. How to get onto overpasses with only stairs? How to get on a bus? etc. The most ordinary things for us are huge barriers for them. So the majority of them seldom leave home. An extreme case of a wheelchair user had been secluded at home for more than twenty years before he was first contacted by volunteers.
Life is particular difficult for them. New problems keep arising even though he or she has accepted his or her new self and gets used to this new life. Take Dacheng. Now he and his wife are trying hard to help their elder son to overcome his puberty problems.
(5)
We also got to know Sister Xiangxiang who had helped Dacheng. They met when they were learning to drive together. She had been confined to the wheel chair for twelve years already. Her stories… I wish I could have time to hear her tell them one by one in future.
They are truly remarkable people. Conquering yourself is the most difficult thing in this world. How much more difficult it can be for the disadvantaged. They have the right to complain about the unfairness of life, yet complaining cannot really help. Even fit people find it so hard to overcome the problem of complaining, let alone these who have been truly maltreated by fate.
(6)
Late that night, Dora told us that she had been feeling frustrated that day. For no reason. Like most other teenagers, occasionally she may feel lost in life, wondering what the meaning of life is. She wished she could be saved all the trouble and given the answer directly.
We are all searching, my child. Dad and Mom are reaching our understanding of the question; but you are still young. It will take you many years to reach yours. But no one can directly get to the final answer without searching high and low. Stride into life and get to know more people. Some of them are very wise and most likely they can inspire you with their answers for what they think of life.
When you think life is hard to you, life is, in fact, much harder to many others.
(7)
Every day you encounter many people on different occasions. Like you, they are just individuals who bump you for some reason and then leave for a different direction or direction. Who are they? What kind of life are they living? What stories will they share with you if you ask them?...