【新高考英語備考研討論壇25】
八省聯考英語讀後續寫指導(二)
供稿人:徐聞中學詹小曼
編前按:2021年1月22—25日舉行的八省聯考堪稱高考預考,對該考試題進行深入分析,可為後階段高考備考明方向、調策略、穩推進做好調研基礎。徐聞中學高三英語教學團隊對該次考試進行深度研究,老師們根據所教班的學情指導學生拓展續寫要點,並樂於將教研成果分享於陳曉君名教師工作室公眾號。為徐聞中學高三英語教學團隊點讚!歡迎各校老師積極投稿!
「人間有真情」
——八省聯考讀後續寫指導(二)
學情分析
我任教的兩個班是物理類的重點班,150分滿分的試卷,兩個班的平均分都是60分左右,兩個班的總人數都是43,及格人數每個班一般是4個,50分以下的人數一般有15個,所以整體的基礎比較差。因此我平時的上課主要以基礎為準,一般會把試題簡單化,設計成翻譯形式的導學案來指導同學寫作。以下是八省聯考讀後續寫的解析。
閱讀材料
閱讀下面材料,根據其內容和所給段落開頭語續寫兩段,使之構成一篇完整的短文。
During thispast year, I've had three instances of car trouble. Each time these thingshappened, I was sick of the way most people hadn't bothered to help. One ofthose times, I was on the side of the road for close to three hours with my bigJeep. I put signs in the windows, big signs that said NEED A JACK(千斤頂), andoffered money. Nothing. Right as I was about to give up, a Mexican family in asmall truck pulled over, and the father bounded out.
He sized upthe situation and called for his daughter, who spoke English. He conveyedthrough her that he had a jack but that it was too small for the Jeep, so wewould need something to support it. Then he got a saw(鋸子)from the truck and cuta section out of a big log on the side of the road. We rolled it over and puthis jack on top, and we were in business.
I startedtaking the wheel off, and then, if you can believe it, I broke his tire iron.No worries: He handed it to his wife, and she was gone in a flash down the roadto buy a new tire iron. She was back in 15 minutes. We finished the job, and Iwas a very happy man.
The two of uswere dirty and sweaty. His wife prepared a pot of water for us to wash ourhands. I tried to put a $20 bill in the man's hand, but he wouldn't take it, soinstead I went up to the truck and gave it to his wife as quietly as I could. Iasked the little girl where they lived. Mexico, she said. They were in Oregonso Mommy and Daddy could work on a fruit farm for the next few weeks. Then theywould go home.
注意:
1.續寫詞數應為150左右;
2.請按如下格式在答題卡的相應位置作答。
When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch.
After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
閱讀部分
一、讀懂大意,理清脈絡
主要是根據記敘文的六要素弄清文章大意,特別要弄清故事的人物,時態(通常是一般過去時),事件(故事的起因和經過),等等。
事件梳理
●去年有一次在路上我的車出現故障,我尋求幫助,但無果;
●正當我要放棄時,一個墨西哥家庭停車,為我提供幫助;
●修好車後,我給了20美元給墨西哥一家,我準備與他們分別。
寫作部分
細讀首句,構思框架
兩段首句定一框 由所給的第一段首句與第二段首句確定第一框的主要內容;
一框首句呼應所給的第一段首句,一框尾句呼應所給的第二段首句;
二框二首正能量 二框的首句呼應所給的第二段首句,二框尾句由正能量的結尾來確定。
Paragraph 1 的開頭是「就在我要說再見的時候,女孩問我是否吃過午飯了。」可知,一框的寫作主要內容是作者和墨西哥家庭一塊兒吃午飯的過程。一框的首句應寫對女孩問題的回答,回答之前的心裡所想——想起來自己還沒吃午飯;一框的尾句呼應所給的第二段的首句,應寫我收到了墨西哥家庭給我的一個紙袋。
Paragraph 2的開頭「在他們離開後,我上了吉普車,打開紙袋。」可知,二框的寫作主要內容是作者在紙袋裡發現什麼,以及自己對這一次經歷的感悟。二框的首句應寫我打開紙袋,發現了我給的錢;二框的尾句應以我想把這種互助的行為傳遞下去,呈現正能量。
增加細節,開始寫作
在已定框架範圍內,依據情節推斷故事中人物所見、所聞、所思、所說、所做等給每段增加5至8個具體細節,我們稱之為叫「58細節添加法」。
Paragraph1 When I wasabout to say goodbye, the girl asked if I'd had lunch.
1. 增加細節
所思:意識沒吃午飯
所說:沒吃午飯
所做:女孩邀請作者加入午飯,作者接過三明治以及紙袋
所感:這是吃過最美味的三明治
2.開始寫作
1:聽到他說的話,我意識到我沒有吃午飯。
(非謂語+what賓從,主+謂+that賓從)
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2. 老實說工作了幾個小時後,我非常餓了。(after+doing,主+系+表)
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3. 感覺到一點尷尬,我回復道,不。(feeling+adj,主+謂...)
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4. 女孩子帶著微笑說,過來加入我們吧,墨西哥三明治很美味。
(主+謂+with+n,"...")
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5. 帶著感動的淚水在眼睛裡打轉,我拿過了三明治。(with+n+doing,主+謂+...)
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6. 像一隻狼一樣的吃了之後,我覺得這是我吃過最美味的三明治。
(after+doing...,主+felt that表從...)
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7. 然後女孩的媽媽放了另一塊三明治在一個紙袋中遞給我,溫柔地說,「拿著,等會再吃,現在我們得走了。」(主+謂1...+and+謂2...,非謂語+...)
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Paragraph2 After they left, I got into my Jeep and opened the paper bag.
1. 增加細節
所見:紙袋中有三明治,水果和我的錢
所感:無限感激
所做:放千斤頂和一些常用的工具
所想:要像墨西哥一家一樣地幫助更多的人
2.開始寫作
1.讓我很驚訝的是,袋子裡有一塊三明治,水果和我給的錢。
(what主從+was that there was +主1+主2+given...)
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2. 緊緊地握著紙袋,我定的站在那裡,一股暖流湧上我的心頭。
(非謂語..., 主+謂+...,+獨立主格:n+doing...)
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3. 我是多麼的感激這個幫助我的家庭。(how+adj+主+系+...)
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4. 雖然我在路上遇到的大多數人是冷漠的,但是然而有一些像這個家庭成員一樣的人們,他們是多麼的樂於助人和體貼。
(although+主+定從+系+表,there+be+主+...+定從)
5. 從那時起,我放一個千斤頂和一些常用的工具在我的小車裡。(主+謂+賓+介詞短語)
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6. 當在路上遇到需要的人們,我會像這個家人一樣竭盡所能地幫助他們。
(when+doing...,主+謂+賓+...)
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7.只有這樣越來越多的人才會有互相幫助。
(only in this way, 情態動詞+主+動原+...)
參考答案:
When I was about to say goodbye, the girl asked if I』d had lunch.Hearing what she said, I realized that I didn’t have lunch.To be honest, after working hard for several hours, I was so hungry. Feeling a bit embarrassed, I replied: 「no!」The girl said with a smile, 「Come on! Join us.The Mexicon sandwich is delicious!」 With moved tears rolling around my eyes, I took the sandwich.After eating it like wolf, I felt that it was the tasty sandwich that I had ever had.While dining, I talked about my troube and feelings and they shared theirinteresting stories in the life.Then, the girl’s mother had another sandwich and some fruit placedin a paper bag and handed it to me,sayinggently: 「Keep it and have it later! We had to go now.」 I showed my heartfelt gratitude to them and sawthem disappear in my sight.
After they left, I got into my jeep and opened thepaper bag. What surprised me a lot was that there was a sandwich,fruitand the bill given by me.Holding the paper bag tightly, I stood still, a warm current rising in my heart.How grateful was I to the family helping me. Although most of people I met on the road were indifferent, there were still some people like this family who was so helpful and thoughtful.From then on, I placed a jack and some common tools in my car.When meeting people inneed on the road ,I would try my best to help them like the family.Only in this way, could more and more people help each other in the future.