昨天絮絮叨叨聊了兩部電影，一無在文末表示，期待國產佳作。
今天聊一聊預告片氣勢磅礴、貌似值得期待的馮小剛新片：《芳華》。
This Wechat account is supposedly a bilingual one, with discussion of translation/interpretation-related topics as its raison d'être. To 『stay true to the mission』 (wink, wink), I shall cut to the chase and place the new film’s bilingual trailer lines under scrutiny.
As a general comment, leaving aside the quality and appropriateness of the versified lines in Chinese (yes, thereupon hangs a big question mark too), some of the words used in the English translations are clumsy and sesquipedalian. You are probably thinking, 「That’s a bit rich coming from a windbag like you!」 But there you are.
Now, let’s get down to work.
昨天帖子最後提到字號的問題，這樣排，中規中矩，突出重點，亮出品牌。
These two lines are not translated from Chinese. It’s the other way round: a quote in English translated into Chinese. The source should have been acknowledged, somehow somewhere.
The 『it』 here again refers to youth. If we replace 『it』 with 『youth』, does it still make sense? Hmm, I’m not sure. One thing is certain though: boundlessness doesn’t belong here, it is too long. Let’s bring in the preposition 『about』 to help obscure the semantic incongruity between the subject and the predicate noun. This line can thus be rephrased to read: 『IT IS ABOUT LOOKING BEYOND THE HORIZONS』.
Samuel Ullman again.
中文說的是「湧流」，沒有說「清新」。不如忠實於原文：IT IS THE SPRING OF LIFE SURGING.
Hello again, Mr Ullman.
原文如此，翻譯只能嘆息。總覺得symbol不太到位。試試epitome吧：IT IS THE EPITOME OF BEAUTY.
Same issue as the 『boundlessness』 line. IT IS WILD HOPES UNBOUNDED.
Power不妥，與青春相聯繫的是energy、vitality、resilience，等等，而且blossom作動作名詞，最好用blossoming，不加ing的名詞blossom，一般用於in blossom這個組合。『IT IS THE BLOSSOMING OF ENERGY』 為選項之一。
既然這預告片抄來Samuel Ullman的名句卻沒鳴謝（也許電影裡鳴謝了），那乾脆再向Stephen Crane借點醬油，燴一燴，就說IT IS A BADGE OF COURAGE吧！何況原文到底啥意思，「青春是勇氣的勳章」？令人費解。
中英文都彆扭。我只說英文：不夠punchy！這是最後一句了，這錘子下去，咣當一下，得有迴響。YOUTH: IT IS YOURS, IT IS OURS. Again, I don’t know what it means, but sometimes the translator has to grin and bear it. Or grimace and bear it, more like. 我父親是急性子，吃飯時筷子動得極快，有次吃午飯，一隻蒼蠅由於未知的原因迫降在他的筷頭上，他眼睛看到了，但他的手正在超速運動，上下顎也在超速閉合，來不及剎車，筷子直抵口腔的瞬間，牙齒也咬下去了.那只可憐的蒼蠅連緊急起飛的機會都沒有，只聽輕輕的「咔嚓」一聲，被咔嚓掉了。我還記得父親當時的表情。就像翻譯看到蒼蠅般的原文、知道自己得把它吞下去再反芻出來時，臉上自然浮現的表情。
The Chinese title, presented in stylish graphics, oozes poetry. The English equivalent is matter-of-fact. The design is aesthetically pleasing, partly thanks to the single-word English title. But if I were to translate the title, I might add 『bloom』 somewhere or simply say THE BLOOM. It’s as much of a cliché as 芳華, I admit, but you at least get a modicum of the transcendental over and beyond the mundanity of a mere 『time of life』.
I shall now proceed to string together my alternative translations, along with the Ullman quotes intact:
Youth is not a time of life
It is a state of mind
It is about looking beyond horizons
It is a quality of the imagination
It is the spring of life surging
It is a vigor of the emotions
It is the epitome of beauty
It is wild hopes unbounded
It is the blossoming of energy
It is a badge of courage
Youth: 『Tis Yours. 『Tis Ours.
THE BLOOM
_______________________________________
歡迎長按二維碼，關注《雙語雋妙》
We can’t promise you a daily supply of scrumptious treats.
We each have a day job to keep us busy.
But you will find no shortage of goodies laid up in this linguistic pantry.
The open sesame to the pantry is this cool-looking maze below.
Go on, long-press it. You won’t regret it.