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隨著吸貓隊伍的不斷壯大，單純只靠網上吸貓已經不能滿足人們的需求，曾經純潔的人貓關係變得複雜起來。
據悉，一種新興職業正在人貓之間興起：地下貓色會所
圖片取自@JanC陳斯拉
在最新一次「掃貓打非」行動中，警方逮捕了一批地下貓色會所的嫖客
I was counting the cats, but I became absent-minded and counted myself.
那天，我數貓，數著數著就走神了，然後啊，我把自己也數進去了。
Kittens are born with their eye shut. They open them about six days, take a look around, but then close them again for the better part(在大部分) of their lives.
幼貓剛來到這世上，眼是閉著的。六天後，它們終於睜開雙目，環視四周。隨後在此生大部分時間裡，就不再睜開了。
Of course I love dogs, but that was before I discovered cats.
我當然喜歡狗，不過那是在我有幸認識到，世界上還有貓這個物種之前。
於是我們安排了記者潛伏在地下貓色場所長達10小時之久，走訪了部分地下貓色會所，據知情人士透漏，除了在路邊拉客外，這些場所的貓咪主要還通過小卡片的方式招攬生意
而這些貓咪為了滿足不同吸貓人群的需求還推出了不同類型的小卡片
沒想到這個桃色產業已經如此成熟了
甚至為了滿足抽不出時間到貓色會所來的人提供了貓片網盤
I try not to envy cats, yet they are so lucky to have it all — admiration, an endless sleep, and company only when they want it.
我試著不去羨慕我的貓，然而它們確是幸甚至哉，擁有全部生之大樂—人類之愛戴，享而不盡的安眠，以及召之即來揮之即去的伴侶。
I have lived with several Zen masters, yet talked to none — all of them were cats.
我曾有幸與數位禪宗大師共居一室，然而卻未能同其中任何一位交談 — 這些大師都是貓。
注意however不是連詞，不能跟前半句用逗號隔開。副詞作為連接詞通常語義會重一點，正式一點。
I scolded my cat. However, when I looked into its face I was seized by the suspicion that it understood every word. And had filed it for reference.
我批評了我的貓。然而，望著它的臉，一種懷疑感攫住了我的心：我說的每一個字其實它都聽懂了，還順便做了歸檔記錄，等著以後翻後帳。
DO NOT wake me up before dinner, or you are going to die.
不要晚膳前叫醒我，否則鏟屎的你就可以自行了斷了。
You think your cat will adore(很喜歡) all of those toys you』ve gotten them. But in reality they only care about the boxes.
你以為貓主子會愛上你進貢的那些玩物。然而事實上他們只關心外面的盒子。
When my cat isn’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about his mood but rather because I know he is just sitting there thinking up ways to get even(復仇，以牙還牙).
若我的主不得開心，我亦不得歡愉！此並非我在意我主之心緒，而是因我知道， 坐於塌上的主子，正思忖以牙還牙之法。
The trouble with sharing one’s bed with cats is that they always prefer sleeping on you rather than beside you.
與貓同床共眠的問題是，貓通常比較願意採取泰山壓頂，而不是山水相依的姿勢與你同睡。
When I play with my cat, who knows whether she is not amusing(使消遣) herself with me rather than I with her.
當我和愛貓一起玩耍的時候，誰知道究竟是不是我在侍奉她娛樂，而不是她在陪我尋開心？
I have notices that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted — but his or her entertainment value instead.
我注意到，貓主子之所以賞識人類，並非因為人類能奉上御膳，這在貓主子看來本就是天經地義的，而是因為人類具有可供娛樂的價值。
I have made up my mind. I choose not to be single, not to be taken, but die alone with 72 cats instead.
我已經下定決心了。我不選擇單身，不選擇結婚，而是選擇和72隻貓一起孤獨終老。
Instead of begging for food, cat sit patiently while you decide to do the right thing.
貓主子從不乞食，而是靜靜地坐在那兒，直到鏟屎的做出正確的決定。
If only cats grew into kittens instead of kittens into cats.
哦！如果貓能夠逆生長回幼崽，那該有多好！
No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat. But then again no amount of masking tape(膠帶) can ever totally remove his fur from your couch.
啊，無論歲月如何流逝，也衝不走我對一隻好貓的回憶！無論用多少膠帶，也粘不完沙發上，他留給我的毛髮。
Fully respecting cats』 aversion(厭惡) to human strangers could make it hard to date or marry. Butthen again, why would you bother, since you』ll just end up pining for(苦苦思念) your cat?
如果完全尊重貓主子對陌生人類的厭惡，那麼作為鏟屎的你就無法去約會或者結婚。不過話說回來，這有什麼關係啊，反正無論幹什麼，到最後你肯定就剩下想貓了。
But at the same time 但與此同時
Humans, I really want you to pet me, but at the same time I also kind of want to bite you.
我的小人兒，我既想你寵我愛撫我，又忍不住有點想咬你。
除此之外還有貓咪寶貝視頻激情聊天連線服務
此事一出，不少吸貓人士分分表示自己住酒店的時候經常收到這種貓色小卡片，讓人面紅耳赤、心跳加速
以上三圖取自網絡
另外一名熱心的網友告訴我們，這是他們學校門口的黃燈區，這些橘貓不僅常年在此拉客，還經常因為搶生意大打出手
圖片取自@無儘儘頭挖土豆
至於「為什麼這些人會這麼容易上鉤？」「難道當代年輕人都這麼沒有一點自制能力？」等等問題，我們懷著眾多疑問也採訪了幾個被逮捕的當事人
當事貓奴陳某
▼
當事貓奴段某
▼
Though humans are smart, they are still not as smart as cats, whose intelligence keep them from doing many of the fool things that complicate life.
人是不傻，但和貓比起來還差得遠。貓深遠的智慧讓它們懂得避開那些讓生活複雜的蠢事。
與though多可換用，語義更正式一些。不可用作副詞
Your cat won’t threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won’t attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes(厚帘子) to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
你的貓絕不會在半夜三點狂嚎不止，來損了你的名聲。它也不會攻擊郵差或者吃掉帘子。不過它們倒有可能抓著帘子攀上房頂，來檢查自己宮殿的格局。
Although this may be true 儘管這可能是真的
Some people say that cats are sneaky(鬼鬼祟祟的), evil and cruel. Although this may be true, they have many other fine qualities as well.
一些（沒眼力見的）人說貓鬼鬼祟祟、邪惡兇殘。儘管可能也不完全錯吧，但貓也有許多其他偉大的品質啊！
In spite of their insouciant(無所謂的) look, cats can always work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
儘管看起來一副世事與我全無關的樣子，貓總能運用數學精確地計算出坐在哪個位置上能給鏟屎的造成最大的麻煩。
和though相比，even though有表強調的語氣
Even though cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to(可能受…影響) a good many differentailments (小病), I have never heard of one who suffered from insomnia (失眠).
雖然貓是一個嬌貴的物種，易罹患各種疾病，但是我從未聽說過任何一隻貓遭受失眠的折磨。
You think your cat will benevolently(仁慈地) gift you with kitty kisses. In reality they often avoid you like the plague(瘟疫). Even so, you love them all the more…
你以為你的貓愛妃會仁慈地賜予你許多貓之吻。然而事實上她們經常想躲瘟疫那樣躲著你。但即使如此，你對她們的愛依然綿綿不絕，日久愈深。
Even if they are big, cats can still fold themselves up like a pocket handkerchief when they determined not to be found.
即使胖，當貓不想被人發現的時候，它們依然能夠像疊手帕那樣把自己完全摺疊起來。
4 AM. We should all be asleep. Nonetheless, it is still perfect time to run from on end of the house to the other at full speed as loudly as possible.
凌晨四點，貌似該睡覺。然而管他呢，這就是最完美的時間，讓我對於從房子一頭全速衝刺到另一頭，順便儘量搞點巨大的噪音出來。
My writing is mysterious, but nevertheless still not as mysterious as cats.
我的作品雖神秘，卻及不上貓之半分。
但是萬萬讓我們沒有想到的是，竟然還有一些女性貓奴出入地下貓色會所
在我們記者採訪即將離去的時候，有幾隻貓咪錶示願意接受我們的採訪， 其中一隻貓咪向我們說道：「現在白嫖的人太多了，這行越來越不好做了」
另外一隻不願暴露姓名的貓貓朋友對我們說了這樣一段話：「合適的話就揚揚下巴，開心的話就露露肚皮，我們紅塵中貓見慣了世事炎涼，不看小魚乾，只跟意中人走。」
Dogs come when they’re called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you later.
狗一叫就來，而貓收到信息後，得過會兒再回覆你。
Dogs have their day whereas cats have 365.
凡狗皆有得意日，而這種日子貓主子每年有365個。
【注】every dog has its day（諺語）風水輪流轉；凡人都有得意日
Human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, while a cat has no such need.
出於這樣那樣的原因，愚蠢的人類會藏起他們的感情，而貓完全沒有這種必要。
A dog flatters(奉承) you while you flatter the cat.
狗諂媚於人，而人諂媚於貓主
Unlike soldiers, who love dogs, artists often prefer cats.
當兵的愛狗，搞藝術的愛貓。
Unlike dogs, who are too good and unselfish that they make me feel uncomfortable, cats are gloriously(極好地) human.
狗嘛，沒毛病，就是太善良太無私了，讓我自慚形穢。貓則是極好的，它們就是翻版的人類。
Different from the dog, who would be a blundering(犯愚蠢錯誤) outspoken(直言的) fellow if they could speak, cats have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
貓和狗不同，如果狗會說話，它們一定是笨嘴拙舌口不擇言的呆子，而貓則擁有絕不多說半個字這世間罕見的優雅。
You can keep a dog. The cat, on the other hand, keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic(家庭的)animals.
人飼養狗，而貓則飼養人。它們之所以這麼做，是看在了人還算是有用的家畜的份上。
If a dog jumps into your lap it is because he is fond of you; On the other hand, if a cat does the same thing it is because your lap is warmer.
若狗跳上你的大腿，那是出於愛；如果貓主子跳上你的腿，那是為了取暖。
I believe, in contrast with the general belief, it is not the actual bath that most cats dislike, but rather that fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back to place.
和一般人的觀點不同，我認為貓痛恨的不是洗澡本身，而是之後它們要花一整天時間把每一根毛舔回原處的麻煩。
My cat is not insane. On the contrary, she is just a really good actress.
我的貓神經沒毛病，恰恰相反，她還是個滿身飄著才華的藝術家。
We do not own cats. On the contrary, cats choose us.
我們鏟屎的不能擁有貓，而要等貓主子寵幸我們。
隨著地下貓色會所的盛行，我們決定發起以下倡議：
「我宣誓，為了營造健康的吸貓環境，我不會去任何貓色會所，直接包養在家吸貓。」
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