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麥克
Michael?
-麥克 -大衛
- Michael? - David!
-你還好嗎 -等我一下
- You all right? - Give me a minute.
你在看什麼
What are you looking at?
我擔心我正身處於希區柯克的電影中
I worry that I'm in a Hitchcock film.
什麼意思
What do you mean?
群鳥開始飛回塔爾伯特港了
The birds are coming back to Port Talbot.
這挺好的啊
That's nice.
那隻大的藍色雀鳥似乎是老大
And a large blue finch is the leader, it seems.
你還好嗎
You all right?
我還在適應中 你還好嗎
Just adjusting. You all right?
羅梅什·蘭加納坦的
半年隔離時光
-糟糕透頂 -糟糕透頂
- Cachu hwch! - Cachu hwch!
-糟糕透頂 糟糕透頂 -糟糕透頂
- Cachu hwch! Cachu hwch! - Cachu hwch!
真他媽的一塌糊塗
Total bloomin' disaster.
好了 跟剛進來的朋友介紹下
Look, for those of you just joining us,
歡迎各位來到我家
welcome to my house.
歡迎來到我家廚房
Welcome to my kitchen.
我已經被關在這裡半年了
I've been in prison here for half a year.
說實話 我已經受夠了視頻通話
I'm done with Zoom, if I'm being honest with you.
但今天跟我一起的兩位 卻化腐朽為神奇
But I'm here now with two people who actually made it work,
麥克·辛和大衛·田納特
Michael Sheen and David Tennant.
或者我該說 大衛·田納特和麥克·辛
Or should that be David Tennant and Michael Sheen?
這裡是《羅梅什·蘭加納坦的半年隔離時光》
This is Romesh Ranganathan's Six Months In Lockdown,
在這個節目中 我們會一起慶祝一些
a celebration of the wonderful things
帶我們度過這個艱難時期的美好事物
that have basically got us through this challenging period.
麥克和大衛在此一起暢談他們的新劇《舞臺劇》
Michael and David are here to talk to us about their BBC show, Staged.
-謝邀 -很高興能上這個節目
- Thank you for having us. - Lovely to be here.
當然 還有我們的老嘉賓 麥可·佩林爵士
And still with us, of course, Sir Michael Palin,
他曾在貝克特經典作品在線閱讀會上等待過戈多
who waited for Godot in an online reading of the Beckett classic.
我一直想問 麥可爵士 戈多到底還會不會來
I meant to ask, Sir Michael, did Godot ever arrive?
沒有
No, no.
我們仍在等待
We're still waiting.
在你等待期間 大衛和麥克
OK, well, while you wait, David and Michael,
十分歡迎你們來到我的節目
massive congratulations on the show.
-雖然合同規定我必須這麼說 -謝謝
- I know I have to say that, contractually, - Thank you.
-但我也真是這麼想的 這劇很有趣 -謝謝
- but genuinely, I mean it. Very funny. - Thanks very much. Cheers.
第一個問題 劇裡哪些是真的 哪些不是
First question, I guess, is what's real and what's not?
例如 西蒙真的有那麼蠢嗎
Like, is Simon that much of an idiot?
沒有吧...
N-Nooo...
沒有...
No...
但麥克確實會衝鳥喊
Michael does shout at birds.
我的頭髮跟鳥窩似的 所以先兵後禮比較好
Well, I have a bird's nest for hair, so it helps to be courteous.
所以那都只是節目效果對吧
But it was a television show.
都只是節目效果 沒錯
It was a television show. Yes.
-那房子真的是西蒙妹妹的嗎？ -不是
- So, I mean, does Simon's sister own that house? - No.
所以 你沒寫劇本 你妻子也沒寫小說
So what - no screenplay, no novel?
沒有胡蘿蔔 沒有菠蘿 啥都沒有
No carrots, no pineapples. None of it.
-但感覺很真實 -謝謝誇獎
- It did feel real. - Well, thank you very much.
有多少內容是你們即興發揮的
How much of it was actually improvised?
全部都是
All of it.
確實有很多即興發揮的成分
Well, that... That does come up a lot.
-所以你們有劇本嗎 -有一些想法
- Was there actually a script, then? - There were...ideas.
然後 我們就自由發揮了
And then, you know, we would play around with it quite a lot.
但也不是所有的都剪進去了
Not...not everything made it into the cut, though.
是 還有好幾個小時的素材沒用
No, there are hours of footage somewhere,
在那些素材裡我們表現得不是很好笑
of us not being particularly funny.
所以有什麼被剪掉的精彩片段嗎
So what gold did we lose to the cutting-room floor?
有一段 我記得很清楚
Well, there was one moment where, quite memorably,
大衛說我是個低配版邁克·亞伍德
David accused me of being a cut-price Mike Yarwood.
英國喜劇演員
這好笑嗎
Is that funny?
不好笑
Well, no.
我都不知道邁克·亞伍德是誰
I don't think I actually know who Mike Yarwood is.
你看 我說的吧
You see? I told you, didn't I?
-我就說沒人認識他 -我不信你
- I told you. - I don't believe you.
我不信 他可是喜劇泰鬥
I don't believe... He's... He's a comedy titan!
羅梅什 大衛說的很多笑話
So, Romesh, most of David's contributions
講的都是這種奇怪又晦澀的梗
were based on these sort of bizarre, obscure references.
是啊 所以才會被剪掉
Yeah. Well, that's why they're cut.
我的梗都太高級了 不適合黃金時段的觀眾
I'm a little too intellectual for primetime.
而且它們一點都不好笑
And not funny.
至少我沒靠著懶洋洋的木偶模仿來博人一笑
Well, at least I didn't resort to lazy Muppet impressions, did I?
我的木偶秀一點也不懶洋洋好嗎
There was nothing lazy about my Muppet!
我當時都累死了
I was exhausted!
你知道邁克·亞伍德是誰嗎 麥可爵士
Do you know who Mike Yarwood is, Sir Michael?
嗯 其實我認識邁克·亞伍德
Yeah, I actually know Mike Yarwood.
真的嗎 我都沒意識到...他還在工作
Really? I didn't realise he was still, er...working.
我們再來看一個片段
Well, let's have another clip.
很好
Great.
好的
Lovely.
羅梅什·蘭加納坦的
半年隔離時光
-好了 開始放視頻了 -好的
- And we're off. - Okay.
-你放的是哪一段 -餅乾罐那段
- Which one is it? - It's, er, cookie jar.
我們已經玩過好多次了
We've seen them all quite a lot now.
我想也是
Yeah. I'm sure.
不過在這方面 麥可爵士應該比你們更有經驗
I mean, I imagine Sir Michael's a step ahead there.
是的
Yes!
麥可爵士 你遇到過多少次死鸚鵡
Sir Michael, how many dead parrots do you reckon you've seen in your time?
此為巨蟒劇團的喜劇小品之一 由邁克·佩林出演
小品描繪了一個心懷不滿的客戶和一個寵物店店主之間的衝突
二者針鋒相對辯論"挪威藍"鸚鵡是否已死 並陷入語言遊戲
該小品戲諷了英國文化中許多關於死亡的委婉語
多年來 佩林已在各種場合中進行了許多版本的"死鸚鵡"小品表演
好多次
Oh, a few!
死鸚鵡的集合名詞是什麼
What is the collective noun for dead parrots?
"挪威藍"鸚鵡
A Norwegian blue.
下沉的峽灣
A sunken fjord!
在小品中 儘管店主被告知鸚鵡已經死了
但他仍然堅持這隻鸚鵡只是"渴望著峽灣"或"被嚇呆了"
金剛鸚鵡
A macaw.
麥可爵士 你覺得死鸚鵡的集合名詞是什麼
Sir Michael, any ideas, collective noun for dead parrots?
丟人現眼嗎
A humiliation?
-你看過《舞臺劇》嗎 麥可爵士 -看了
- Have you seen Staged, Sir Michael? - Yeah.
-嗯 看了幾集 -是嗎 看了哪些
- Yeah, I watched a couple. - Have you? Which ones?
-第一集 -你喜歡嗎
- The first one... - Did you like it?
我愛死了
Loved it.
-太好了 -謝天謝地
- Yeah! Great. - Thank goodness for that.
這劇很討人喜歡
For what it was, you know.
歡迎回來
And we're back.
羅梅什·蘭加納坦的
半年隔離時光
剛剛說到 BBC1臺隔離期間的喜劇《舞臺劇》
That was BBC One's lockdown comedy Staged.
大衛和麥克 你們說故事本身是虛構的
David and Michael, you said the story is fictional,
但你們的角色呢
but what about your characters?
-全是編的 -和我們本人沒有任何相似之處
- Total fabrication. - Nothing like us at all.
一丁點都沒有
Not... Not a scintilla.
沒有 我不覺得現實生活中的我們很有趣
No, I mean, I don't think we're very funny in real life.
-你很無趣 但我很有趣 -當然 確實如此
- Well, I don't think you're funny. I'm funny. - Sure, obviously.
我只是說 我們...我們不是喜劇演員
I just mean, we're not... we're not comedians.
你們還年輕 有無限可能呢
Ah, you're still young.
是啊
Yeah.
你們接下來有什麼打算
And what's next for you guys?
我要開始正經工作了
I'm back to proper work, actually.
在封城之前 我參與的一部戲
A show that I was working on before lockdown,
已經重新開始運作了
is revving back up
-所以我準備去南非了 -很好
- so I'm off out to South Africa. - Very nice.
我們有過幾次不成功的開始
We've had a couple of false starts,
但我覺得現在終於步入正軌了 我明天就要飛過去了
but I think this is finally it and I am flying tomorrow.
太棒了 麥克呢
Great. And Michael?
我不想再搞正經工作了
I don't do proper work any more.
所以我準備去紐約見家人朋友
So I'm off to New York to see family and friends.
嗯 現在紐約是允許去的 是吧
Right. Travel allowing, I imagine.
不 會沒事的
Oh, no, it'll be fine.
-我相信 會沒事的 -嗯嗯 當然了
- I believe. It will be fine. - Yeah, of course. Of course.