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登上查茲沃斯快車的票都在這邊
Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express!
快過來看看吉普賽豬是如何毀掉
Come and watch pikeys making a mess of their lives
上層社會給予他們的生活和...
they were given by 'im upstairs...
他們相當肯定不是自己親生的孩子們的
And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs.
真缺德
Wicked!
滾開
Piss off!
世界上還有什麼聲音可以取代得了
What sounds on Earth could ever replace
孩子需要用錢的呼聲跟老婆挑逗自己的聲音呢
kids needing money or wives in your face?
因此人們 其中也包括我 都猜想
Cos this, people reckon - me included -
酒吧跟毒品應運而生
is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented...
都是為了是我們能冷靜 防止我們走向瘋狂
to calm us all down, stop us going mental.
這些都是查茲沃斯莊園最基本的要素
These are Chatsworth estate's basic essentials.
我們絕對能讓你物超所值
We are worth every penny for grinding your axes.
你可以在這兒隨心所欲
You sit on our head,
但是...你必須得納稅
but... you pay the taxes.
試想一下要是英國沒了查茲沃斯的投機者
Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth's buccaneers,
誰還會為了一杯啤酒的錢跟你吹鬍子瞪眼 嗯
who'd come on your face for the price of a beer, eh?
讓貧困成為歷史
Make poverty history!
我們需要毒品更便宜
Cheaper drugs now!
讓貧困成為歷史 我們需要毒品更便宜
Make poverty history! Cheaper drugs now!
嘿嘿嘿 快散開
Heh, heh, heh. Scatter!
開派對
Party!
你知道我言之有理
You know it makes sense.
你有可能晚上沒辦法美美睡上一覺 弗蘭克 但是我可以
You might be beyond the help of beauty sleep, Frank, but I'm not.
嘿
Hey,
內在美是一個男人的財富
inner beauty is the measure of the man.
而我賺到的是外表美
I earned this face.
真掃興
Oooh, eggy-peggy.
我是個多可悲又遊手好閒的賤役啊
Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I!
這麼個遊手好閒之人在這兒並不奇怪 但在小說裡
Is it not monstrous that this player here, but in fiction,
在充滿激情的夢裡
in a dream of passion,
就能強姦他的靈魂 使他變得狂妄自大嗎
could force his soul so to his own conceit?
他可以用淚水將舞臺淹沒
He would drown the stage with tears
用恐怖的講演穿透大眾的耳膜
and cleave the general ear with horrid speech.
快滾 滾你媽的
Go on, fuck off.
多有價值的一個美夢啊
Oh, what fucking price beauty.
快滾 弗蘭克
Fuck off, Frank.
讓罪惡為之瘋狂 讓自由為之驚駭
Make mad the guilty and appal the free.
讓愚昧為之困惑
Confound the ignorant,
讓雙眼的犀利與雙耳的敏銳真正為之驚異
and amaze indeed the very faculties of eyes and ears.
那麼 我 弗農·弗朗西斯·加拉格爾 能算可悲又遊手好閒的賤役嗎
Yet, am I, Vernon Francis Gallagher, a rogue and peasant slave?
我對我的目標隻字未提嗎
Did I say nothing for my cause?
我的目標是什麼呢
What was my cause?
我作為男人的本質又是什麼呢
What nature of man have I been?
去你媽的莎士比亞
Fucking Shakespeare.
傻逼一個
What a cunt.
快點 快念
Come on, read it!
卡南·巴納納（香蕉）曾於1970年至1980年
In the government of which country
效力於哪個國家的政府
did Canaan Banana serve in the 1970's and 80's?
香蕉 這名字是假的 錯誤
Banana? That's not a real name - false.
這個問題不是問你對錯
It's not a true or false question.
- 那好吧 正確的 - 你得回答是哪個國家
- All right, true, then. - You need to name the country.
我懶得想 黛比
I'm not bothered, Debbie.
伊恩
Ian!
我把聲音關小就是了
I'm gonna turn it down.
我們正在玩遊戲呢 答案是什麼 利亞姆
We're playing a game! What's the answer, Liam?
津...津...
Zim... Zim...
辛巴威 該你了 卡爾
Zimbabwe. Your turn, Carl.
五點 一 二 三 四 五 我到中間了
Five. One, two, three, four, five. I'm in the centre!
能讓我念嗎
Can I read it?
不行
No!
美國是由哪個義大利探險家的名字命名的
After which Italian explorer is the USA named?
是亞美瑞格.韋斯普奇
It's Amerigo Vespucci.
閉嘴啦
Shut up!
你在大學裡學到的嗎
They teach you that at uni?
沒錯 你過得怎麼樣
Yeah, how you doing?
亞美瑞格.韋斯普奇
Amerigo Vespucci.
你好 老弟 來擊個掌
Hello, mate. High five.
亞美瑞格.韋斯普奇
Amerigo Vespucci.
他告訴你的 遊戲作廢
He told you, game abandoned.
- 你怎麼回來的 - 搭順風車 花了我他娘的八個小時呢
- How did you get here? - Hitched. Took me fucking eight hours.
你想來杯茶嗎 是喝「浪子回頭」還是來點更濃的
Do you want a cuppa, Prodigal Son or something stronger?
- 就隨便來一杯吧 - 雀斑都長沒了嘛
- I'd love one. - Spots have cleared up.
- 謝了 媽 你好 寶貝 - 嘿
- Oh, thanks, Mum! Hello, baby. - Hey.
這不公平
It's not fair.
我也想你了
I've missed you too.
我從來沒有贏過
I've never won before.
少抱怨了
Shut up.
一閃一閃...
Twinkle, twinkle...
揮手 跟媽媽揮手
Wave. Wave to Mummy.
真聰明
Clever girl!
她什麼時候學會的
When did she learn that?
幾周前
A few weeks ago.
感覺我好像把什麼都錯過了
Feel like I'm missing out on everything.
別犯傻了 你又不能同時兩頭兼顧 對吧
Don't be daft. Can't be two places at once, can you?
再說了 她現在完全是屬於爸爸的女兒
Besides, she's a total Daddy's girl.
幹嘛
What?
你現在可不是在你們大學 你個懶鬼學生
You're not at uni now, you lazy student ligger.
很難睡得了懶覺 對吧
It's hardly a lie-in, is it?
- 你不是說回來要去找份兼職的嗎 - 我當然想啊
- I thought you wanted to pick up a shift. - I do.
- 給你十分鐘 - 沒問題
- Ten minutes. - Nice one.
這東西太好了 這個在商店要賣多少錢
This is brilliant. How much'd it cost in the shops?
比我付的錢多得多了
A lot more than what I paid for it.
如果你要擼管的話 你至少該鎖上門吧
If you're gonna have a wank, at least lock the door.
我沒在擼
I weren't wanking.
你太噁心了
You're sick.
我沒有擼 黛兒 等等
I'm not. Debs, wait.
別擋道
Out the way.
- 我沒有在擼管 我是在... - 在幹嘛
- I weren't wanking, I were... - What?
我...我在祈禱
I... I were praying.
- 編理由也要編個讓人信服的吧 - 我真在祈禱
- At least make it believable. - I was!
自從跟米娜分了之後我好久沒滾過床單了
I haven't had my end away since Meena.
我兩顆蛋漲得跟足球似的
I've got bollocks like footballs.
你以為耶穌會幫你泡到一些
You think Jesus is gonna help you get some girl
自己深陷困境還在憂心著國家命運的妞嗎
on her back, thinking of England?
我沒想讓她操心國家命運
I don't want her to think of England.
我知道你想要什麼
I know what you want,
但是祈禱是不能幫你得償所願的
and praying isn't going to get it yer.
怎麼可能不能
How not?
- 吃午飯再見 - 快點 我們要遲到了
- See you for lunch. - Come on, we'll be late.
你這幾天跟安西婭·特納一樣春風得意啊 對吧
Quite the little Anthea Turner these days, aren't you?
我們今天不會讓奶奶把我們惹急了的 對吧 凱蒂
We're not letting Granny get under our skin today, are we, Katie?
你告訴她 今天不會的 奶奶
You tell her, not today, Granny.
我還那麼年輕 怎麼能被人叫做奶奶呢
I'm too young to be called Granny.
跟我說 莫妮卡 莫妮卡
Say "Monica". Monica.
莫妮卡
Monica.
為什麼上帝不會幫我
Why won't God help me?
最主要的原因是他根本不存在
Mainly cos he doesn't exist.
不許再孩子們面前褻瀆神靈 黛比
No blaspheming in front of the children, Debbie.
我是無神論者
I'm an atheist.
大家都會遇到奇蹟 我在紀錄片裡看到的
I mean, people have miracles. Saw it on a documentary.
有個腿瘸了的傢伙 在「穢物」裡浸泡了之後
A bloke were crippled, got dipped in a Grotty,
然後他就又能走路了
then he could walk again.
「穢物」
In a "Grotty"?
可能是不可知論者 還沒被定下名字
Maybe an agnostic. Haven't decided yet.
宗教只是迷信
Religion's just superstition,
是我們還在洞穴居住就遺留下來的產物
left over from when we lived in caves.
我們當時還不明白太陽為什麼要在早晨升起
I mean, we didn't know how the sun rises in the morning,
莊稼要在夏季生長
and the crops grow in the summer.
宗教只是我們解釋我們尚不能理解的事物的一種方式而已
It's just a way of explaining things that we don't comprehend.