看完我就想起了之前看過的一部根據真人故事改編的美國電影叫
The Fault in Our Stars《星運裡的錯》。
These two movies both tell the story about cancer. But the Fault in Our Stars has dig deeper into the meaning of life and death, and pain.
It follows Hazel Grace Lancaster, a 16-year-old cancer patient, who meets and falls in love with Gus Waters, another cancer patient from her cancer support group.
這兩部電影講的都是關於墜入愛河的兩個癌症青年，他們認識也都是從癌症互助小組裡，最後也都是其中一個先走了的結局。
不過《星運裡的錯》裡除了聊愛情，對於如何面對疼痛的思考也對我啟發很大。
電影一開始就說了，Pain demands to be felt. 疼痛應該被感知。
什麼意思呢？
Everyone is afraid of feeling pain. Just like Hazel, she knows she’s gonna die soon, so she rejects to meet new people, to make new friends, and even to fall in love, because she thinks there’s supposed to be an unhappy ending.
大家都害怕經歷疼痛。
就像Hazel最開始因為知道自己所剩時日可能不多，就拒絕認識新的朋友，因為覺得反正不會有好的結果，自己快死了。
可如果知道故事不會有好的結局，就不應該開始了嗎？
這個怪圈其實跟男主Gus的擔心是類似的。
他最害怕的事是Oblivion——被遺忘。
He thinks he’s supposed to be a hero, and supposed to be remembered by the world. He’s afraid that once he’s gone, everyone will forget him.
而Hazel反駁他說：
There will come a time when all of us are dead. All of us. There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything.
Everything that we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught.
Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive the collapse of our sun, we will not survive forever.
And if the inevitability of human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it. God knows that’s what everyone else does.
總有一天我們所有的人都會死去，可能人類也已經不存在了。
我們所有做過的、建設過的、寫過的事、我們的想法、我們的發明，都會被遺忘。這是我們每個人必經的事。
每個人的終點都是死亡，
可要因為害怕死亡，害怕被遺忘，就拒絕所有的開始嗎？
疼痛也是一種經歷，它值得被感知。
只有感知疼痛，才能正視問題。
就像Hazel被診斷換抑鬱症後，醫生說這可能是癌症的副作用。
Hazel的反應是：
Whenever you read a cancer booklet or website or whatever, they always list depression among the side effects of cancer.
But, in fact, depression is not a side effect of cancer.
Depression is a side effect of dying.
「其實抑鬱不是癌症的副作用，它是害怕死亡的副作用。
因為怕死，所以才抑鬱了，而不是有了癌症就大概率會有抑鬱症。」
所以Hazel才會那麼喜歡Peter Van Houten那本關於死亡的書，想從裡面尋找答案。
而男主Gus也同樣啟發了Hazel：
與其擔心疼痛這種掌控不了的結果，不如掌控自己能掌控的。
就像他對香菸的隱喻：
Gus very often has a cigarette in his mouth, but he never lights it. He says,
"It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."
他總是嘴裡叼著一根煙卻從不點燃它。因為他說：
「你看，它有傷害我的能力，但我不給它這個能力。」
類似的，他跟怕受傷而不敢愛的Hazel說：
「You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you.」
你沒辦法選擇你會不會受傷，但你可以選擇讓誰來傷害你。
他下一句是：I like my choices. 我喜歡我的選擇，不介意被你傷害。
多美的情話啊。
對於Gus來說，愛上Hazel就是自己無法控制的事，儘管他知道兩個癌症患者想好好在一起有多難。既然無法控制，那就好好在一起。
他對Hazel表白的時候說的是：
"I'm in love with you, and I'm not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I'm in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we'll ever have, and I am in love with you."
「我愛上你了，我並不打算否認這種說出真話的簡單快樂。我知道愛說出來就像一句空話，我知道遺忘是無可避免的，我知道我們在劫難逃，總有一天我們的一切都會化作塵土。我知道太陽總有一天會吞噬我們的地球，但我還是愛上你了。」
所以他們選擇了一起面對疼痛，也治癒了彼此。
至於該怎麼和疼痛共處，Hazel的媽媽給出了答案。
在女兒擔心自己去世後媽爸生活會很艱難的時候，Hazel的媽媽說：
Losing you..that is gonna hurt like hell. But you of all people know it’s possible to live with pain. You just do it. I’m taking classes in social work. You know if I can take what we』ve been through and help other people, maybe council families.
雖然失去女兒很傷心，但她可以參加社工活動，用這段經歷去鼓勵那些跟自己有類似情況的人。
雖然很痛，但一樣可以繼續生活——It's possible to live with pain. You just do it.
就像Gus的兄弟在失戀後砸東西、往前女友車上扔雞蛋發洩，發洩完了還是可以好好的。
Hazel也是在參觀紀念那本經典小說《安妮日記》的博物館的時候，
聽到Anne書裡的話的語音的時候，才放下害怕死亡結局的執念，勇敢親吻Gus。
書裡Anne說的是：
At such moments, I can’t think about the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. Try to recapture the happiness within myself. Think of all the beauty in everything around you, and be happy.
在荷蘭生活的猶太人Anne在荷蘭被德軍佔領後，一家人藏在密室度過了充滿恐怖的25個月的生活，最後只有Anne的爸爸活下來了，幫她出版了她的日記。
在這麼艱難的情況下，Anne選擇的和疼痛相處的方式就是——Think of all the beauty in everything around you, and be happy.
So pain still exists, but you can choose to be happy.
儘管疼痛還在，但你能儘量選擇關注身邊美好的人和事，選擇快樂。
微信對訂閱號信息列表進行了改變
喜歡就隨便 「 點一個」 吧
《心靈奇旅》：人活著，一定要有人生目的嗎？
原來 Lemon Tree 背後的故事那麼傷感？
電影The Intern：七十歲的實習生，年輕不在於年齡