譯者註：本文視角獨到、文辭犀利，筆鋒如刀，難度較大，翻譯起來也不易。英語原文，是非常好的高級英文閱讀資料，不僅能學習語言，也能窺見英語國家的制度之一斑。制度的黴斑，需媒體人拿出，到太陽底下晾曬一番，或者殺死黴菌，或者昭告世人，引起警惕。比藏掖起來，養蟲為患好。【後附總督職位簡介】
譯者簡介：ArthurMann， 美國文學博士，加拿大ATIO認證翻譯，雅思高分講師[寫作、口語8.5]。文後附Mann博士主講的「英語菁華學習群」，可掃碼進入。聯繫郵箱：seertrans@gmail.com
The disgraced tenure of former Canadian governor general Julie Payette, who resigned in shame on Thursday rather than endure yet another exposé of her reportedly vicious workplace behavior, was one of the more absurd spectacles this country has been forced to endure.
加拿大前總督朱莉-帕耶特(Julie Payette)的恥辱任期，是這個國家被迫忍受的又一十分荒唐的情形。她在周四羞愧地辭職，從而免得她的惡劣職場行徑再遭曝光。
The governor generalship, Canada’s 「ceremonial chief of state,」 is a ludicrous and embarrassing office at the best of times, so Payette’s humiliating departure — marks a particularly pathetic nadir. If there ever was a moment crying for a substantial reevaluation of the necessity of the office — a moment of reflection that would hopefully conclude with a recommendation for abolishment — it is now.
總督一職，也就是加拿大的 "禮儀之首"，即便最好的時候，也不過是個可笑而尷尬的職位，所以帕耶特的可恥離職，標誌著一個特別可悲的低谷。如果說，應該對該職位的必要性進行實質性的重新評估和反思，以便最終提出廢除該職位的建議，此時不做、更待何時？
Instead, one expects Prime Minister Justin Trudeau to attempt to repair the job’s nonexistent reputation by picking a successor to Payette. This is rich — in the sort of politically correct symbolism upon which he’s built his brand. In classically Canadian fashion, the belief that fundamentally broken institutions are just one good appointment, one sensible procedural tweak away, will win the day once more.
然而，人們期望總理賈斯汀-特魯多試圖通過挑選帕耶特的繼任者，來修復這項職位子虛烏有的聲譽。這頗為含義雋永，尤其是在他建立品牌的那種政治正確的象徵主義中。加拿大樂此不疲，覺得哪怕爛到底得體制，只要任命一個靠譜的人、進行一次合理的程序調整，就會光輝再現。
Payette, a former astronaut from Quebec, was appointed governor general in 2017 in part because Ottawa invented a tradition where every second governor general must be French-Canadian. Subsequent reporting has revealed that her installation was likely rushed, which is probably why the hiring process failed to pick up any of the apparently ample evidence from former coworkers that Payette was trouble. 「Everything sounded extremely familiar,」 said one former colleague of stories that Payette routinely verbally abused her underlings.
來自魁北克的前太空人帕耶特在2017年被任命為總督，部分原因是渥太華發明了一個傳統，即每隔一任總督必須是說法語得加拿大人。後來得報導顯示，她的任命可能是匆忙為之。這可能是為什麼招聘過程中沒有從前同事那裡接收到任何明顯的充分證據，證明帕耶特是個難服侍的主兒。"一切聽起來都極為熟悉，"一位前同事說，有報導稱帕耶特經常辱罵她的下屬。
Difficult and demanding people — which, fairly or not, astronauts often have a reputation for being — can have their uses, of course. When facing similar criticism of her workplace manner, former U.S. presidential candidate Sen. Amy Klobuchar (D-Minn.) was unapologetic: 「I have high expectations for myself, I have high expectations for the people that work for me."
當然，難服侍得主兒和挑剔的人也自有其用處，太空人通常都屬這一類。當面對類似的職場態度批評時，美國前總統候選人參議員艾米-克洛布查（Amy Klobuchar）毫不諱言："我對自己有很高的期望，我對為我工作的人也有很高的期望。"
In Payette’s case, however, the problem was that the governor general does not actually have any important work to do. The office is perhaps best understood as something between a party planner for politicians and part-time manager of one of the country’s lamer tourist attractions, Rideau Hall. (「The driver didn’t recognize the place by name. We had to give him the address,」 writes one TripAdvisor review.) A 2018 article in the National Post on Payette’s various infractions noted that she had once caused shock and horror to a 「small circle of honours experts」 for wearing an unauthorized pin on her top, which should give some indication of the sort of person this job exists for.
然而，就帕耶特而言，問題在於總督其實並沒有什麼重要的工作要做。這個辦公室職能，也許最好理解為，介於政客們的派對策劃者，和該國不咋地的旅遊景點——裡多廳的兼職經理之間的東西。("司機不認識這個地方的名字。我們不得不給他地址，"一位TripAdvisor評論寫道）。)《國家郵報》2018年一篇關於帕耶特各種違規行為的文章指出，她曾因為在上衣上佩戴了一枚未經授權的胸針，而引起了 "榮譽專家小圈子 "的震驚和恐懼，這應該能讓人看出，這份工作是為什麼樣的人存在的。
Thanks to the strange order of succession that dictates such things, Payette’s resignation has elevated the Chief Justice of Canada Robert Wagner to the position of acting governor general, making the head of Canada’s judicial branch now theoretically head of the executive as well. Yet even Canadians who fancy themselves civically literate might be surprised to learn that many of the governor general’s supposedly sacred constitutional duties — ratifying appointments, signing statutes — are in fact routinely performed by supreme court justices on her behalf.
由於奇怪的繼承順序決定了這種事情，帕耶特的辭職，讓加拿大首席大法官羅伯特-華格納（Robert Wagner）升任代理總督，使得這位加拿大司法部門的負責人，現在理論上也成了行政部門的負責人。然而，即使是自詡為有公民素養的加拿大人，也可能會驚訝地發現，總督的許多所謂神聖的憲法職責--批准任命、籤署法規--其實都是由最高法院的大法官們例行公事地代為執行。
Some are already distressed at the possibility of Wagner signing off on a widely anticipated looming election call by Trudeau, presumably troubled by the optics of a judge participating in the political process. But it’s worth remembering that the supposedly 「normal」 state of affairs — the prime minister unilaterally installing a hand-picked governor general to rubber-stamp his various decrees — is no less offensive to democracy.
一些人已經對華格納可能在特魯多廣泛期待的迫在眉睫的選舉呼籲上簽字感到不安，大概是對法官參與政治進程的搞法感到不安。但值得記住的是，所謂的 "正常 "狀態--總理單方面安插一個親手挑選的總督，為他的各種法令蓋上橡皮圖章--對民主的冒犯可不小。
In any case, Ottawa now has an exciting new parlor game to play: 「Who will Trudeau pick?」 In addition to the identity politics considerations, and the necessity of a more thoroughly vetted background, one expects to hear a great deal of blather in coming weeks about how Canada’s current 「minority government situation」 proves the need for a governor general well-versed in constitutional law. This is nonsense. As I discussed in August, it’s been 95 years since a governor general has made any decision of consequence in Canadian politics, and rightfully so, given the job is both unelected and deeply compromised by its appointment process.
無論如何，渥太華現在有一個令人興奮的新客廳遊戲可以玩。"特魯多會選誰？" 除了身份政治的考慮，以及必須對背景進行更徹底的審查外，人們預計在未來幾周內，會聽到大量的廢話，說加拿大目前的 "少數派政府情況 "如何證明需要一位精通憲法的總督。這是無稽之談。正如我在八月份所討論的那樣，過去95年裡，總督已經沒有在加拿大政治中做出過任何有影響的決定，這也是理所當然的，因為這個職位，既不是由選舉產生的，也受到任命程序的嚴重影響。
A country with a principled egalitarian left, or principled patriotic right, would possess at least some political momentum to abolish the governor generalship, which holds more than enough absurdities to offend the entire political spectrum. Instead, the only faction willing to declare this colonial relic an affront to democracy are the Quebec separatists — and even they’re obviously only making the argument to play up the weirdness of the country they want to leave.
一個有原則的平等主義左派，或有原則的愛國主義右派的國家，至少會擁有一定的政治力量，來廢除總督一職，因為這個職位所擁有的荒謬之處，足以冒犯整個政治光譜。相反，唯一願意宣布這個殖民遺蹟是對民主的侮辱的黨派，是魁北克分離主義者，而即使是他們，提出這一點，顯然也只是為了彰顯他們想要離開的這個國家的怪異。
So the safest bet remains that Payette’s pointless tenure and unprecedented departure will provoke no substantial reckoning from a political class that’s long been cowed and intimidated by an obvious anachronism they』ve nevertheless never dared question.
所以，最安全的賭注仍然是，帕耶特毫無意義的任期和史無前例的離任，不會引起政治階層的實質性算計，因為他們早已被一個明顯的不合時宜的東西所嚇倒，但他們卻從來不敢質疑。
For cowards, it’s actually quite easy to let a good crisis go to waste.
於懦夫而言，其實很容易讓一場上好危機白白浪費。
英文來自Washington Post, 作者J.J. McCullough。
維基百科：
加拿大總督（英語：Governor General of Canada，法語：Gouverneure générale du Canada[注 1]）是加拿大君主的代表。由於加拿大的君主與英國君主是同一人，她（他）並不居住在加拿大，所以總督成為君主本人在加拿大的代表。
最初此職用作與英國本土政府及其他自治領和殖民地聯絡。自從加拿大已逐漸獨立成主權國，英國政府他再沒有權力向加拿大總督作出任何「提議」從而幹涉加拿大的內政。故即使英國君主與加拿大君主仍由同一人擔任，但須銘記總督隸屬於加拿大君主而非英國君主，女王本人無法以英王身份任命總督。現時加拿大君主擁有名義上的總督委任權，但他通常會委任加拿大總理提名的人選；任期亦往往按總理的建議而決定，惟通常在五年至十年之間。而自二十世紀中葉，總督由英語人士和法語人士輪流擔任已成慣例，以彰兩種語言的平等地位。
加拿大總督在威斯敏斯特式君主立憲制的憲政慣例下只擁有象徵式權力，例如代表加拿大君主擔任加拿大三軍總司令、任命獲下議院多數信任的政黨領袖為總理、按總理建議任命內閣成員和各省省督及授勳、出席不同的公眾活動如接待外國政要和探訪弱勢社群等，但職責沒有什麼真正的政治權力。大多數的政治權力都按慣例授予由加拿大總理領導的政府。故根據出自英國的威斯敏斯特製傳統，一般來說加拿大總督的所有決定須聽從總理的「提議」。
伍冰枝和莊美楷兩位總督任內曾在某些公共場合中稱自己為「加拿大元首」（Head of State）。2004年，伍冰枝前往法國參與紀念盟國登陸諾曼第海灘的典禮時更在伊莉莎白二世面前被稱為加拿大元首。由於傳統上，加拿大總督是英國君主在加拿大的代表，即主權的代表而非真正的元首，故此舉令白金漢宮有所不滿。
加拿大總督的府邸是首都渥太華的麗都廳（Rideau Hall，位於加拿大總理府邸的對面），也是法理上君主的住所。由1952年起，所有加拿大總督都是加拿大公民。
當總督外訪、從缺或因其他原因不能履行職務，加拿大首席大法官便會擔任行政官，代理總督職責。
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