Inside the mind of a master procrastinator
拖延症人群的內心世界
Tim Urban knows that procrastination doesn't make sense,but he's never been able to shake his habit of waiting until the last minute toget things done. In this hilarious and insightful talk, Urban takes us on a journey through YouTube binges, Wikipedia rabbit holes and bouts of staring out the window — and encourages us to think harder about what we're really procrastinating on, before we run out of time.
蒂姆·爾班知道拖延沒有意義，但是他從來沒有辦法改掉最後一刻才去幹活的習慣。在他詼諧而又深刻的演講中，爾班在帶領我們在視頻網站狂歡，在維基百科瀏覽，甚至一陣陣觀望窗外的鳥語花香的同時鼓勵我們去仔細思考在時間消逝之前，我們究竟在拖延什麼。
So in college, Iwas a government major, which means I had to write a lot of papers. Now, when a normal student writes a paper, they might spread the work out a little like this. So, you know --
上大學那會兒， 我是學政務專業的， 意味著我得寫很多論文。 當一名普通的學生寫論文時， 他們也許會像這樣， 把任務分攤開。 所以，你明白
you get started maybe a little slowly, but you get enough done in the first week that, with some heavier days later on, everything gets done, things stay civil.
開始可能有點慢， 但是一個星期過後已經寫了不少， 接下來有時寫的更多一些， 最後一切搞定，事情不會搞砸。
And I would want to do that like that. That would be the plan. I would have it all ready to go, but then, actually, the paper would come along, and then I would kind of do this.
我也想這樣。 至少我的計劃是這樣。 我準備好開始， 然而，事實上，到寫論文的時候， 我是這麼做的。
And that would happen every single paper.
而且每次寫論文都這樣。
But then came my 90-page senior thesis, a paper you're supposed to spend a year on. And I knew for a paper like that, my normal work flow was not an option. It was way too big a project. So I planned things out, and I decided I kind of had to go something like this. This is how the year would go. So I'd start off light, and I'd bump it up in the middle months, and then at the end,I would kick it up into high gear just like a little stair case. How hard could it be to walk up the stairs? No big deal, right?
最後到了寫90頁畢業論文的時候， 本應該花一年時間去寫的論文。 我知道對於這樣一篇論文來說， 我平常的做法行不通。 畢業論文是個大項目。 於是我計劃好， 決定這麼去做。 一年的工作就這麼安排。 起初少幹點兒， 中間幾個月持續幹多一點兒， 最後高速檔全力以赴 就像小臺階一樣。 爬臺階能有多難？ 沒什麼大不了的，對吧？
But then, the funniest thing happened. Those first few months? They came and went, and I couldn't quite do stuff. So we had an awesome new revised plan.
但是接下來，有趣的事發生了。 起初那幾個月？ 來了又走， 我基本沒幹什麼。 於是就有了這個 很棒的修改計劃。
And then --
再然後...
But then those middle months actually went by, and I didn't really write words, and so we were here. And then two months turned into one month, which turned into two weeks. And one day I woke up with three days until the deadline, still not having written a word, and so I did the only thing I could: I wrote 90 pages over 72 hours, pulling not one but two all-nighters -- humans are not supposed to pull two all-nighters-- sprinted across campus, dove in slow motion, and got it in just at the deadline.
中間幾個月竟然就這麼過去了， 我基本上沒寫幾個字， 所以變成了這樣。 然後從還有兩個月到還有一個月， 再到只剩兩星期。 然後有一天我突然意識到 離截止期只剩三天了， 而我還一個字都沒寫呢， 於是我做了我唯一能做的事： 我花了72小時寫出90頁， 通宵整整兩天趕工 人不應該連續熬兩個通宵 全速穿過校園， 慢動作潛入， 趕在截止期之前交了論文。
I thought that was the end of everything. But a week later I get a call, and it's the school. And they say, "Is this Tim Urban?" And I say,"Yeah." And they say, "We need to talk about yourthesis." And I say, "OK." And theysay, "It's the best one we've ever seen."
我以為一切就這麼結束了。 結果一個星期之後我接到一通電話， 是學校打來的。 他們問：「你是蒂姆·爾班嗎？」 我說，「沒錯」。 他們說：「我們得和你 談一下論文的事兒。」 我回答，」好「 對方接著說, "這是我們看過最棒的一篇論文。「
That did not happen.
那並未發生。
It was a very, very bad thesis.
這篇論文寫得非常非常爛。
I just wanted to enjoy that one moment when all of you thought, "This guy is amazing!"
我只是想享受一下這個時刻， 當你們全部以為， 「這傢伙太牛了！「
No, no, it was very, very bad. Anyway, today I'm a writer-blogger guy. I write the blog Wait But Why. And a couple of years ago, I decided to write aboutprocrastination. My behavior has always perplexed the non-procrastinatorsaround me, and I wanted to explain to the non-procrastinators of theworld what goes on in the heads of procrastinators, and why we arethe way we are. Now, I had a hypothesis that the brains ofprocrastinators were actually different than the brains of otherpeople. And to test this, I found an MRI lab that actually let mescan both my brain and the brain of a proven non-procrastinator, so Icould compare them. I actually brought them here to show you today. Iwant you to take a look carefully to see if you can notice a difference. Iknow that if you're not a trained brain expert, it's not that obvious, butjust take a look, OK? So here's the brain of a non-procrastinator.
不是這樣的，那篇論文超級爛。 不管怎麼樣，我現在是個博文作者。 我為「打破砂鍋問到底」寫博文。 幾年前我決定 寫一篇關於拖延的文章。 我的拖延行為總是讓我身邊那些不拖延的人感到困惑， 所以我想向不拖延的人解釋一下 拖延者腦袋裡到底是怎麼想的， 還有為什麼我們這些拖延者會這樣。 我的假設是 拖延者的大腦 和不拖延者的大腦是不同的。 為了證明這一點， 我找到一個核磁共振實驗室 讓我可以掃描自己的大腦 和一個經證實不是拖延者的大腦， 然後我就可以對比這兩種大腦。 今天我把它們都帶來了。 我希望大家能認真比較 這二者之間是否有什麼差別。 我知道大家 不是受過訓練的腦科專家， 看起來可能不明顯，但是讓我們來看一下，好嗎？ 這是一個不拖延者的大腦。
Now ... here's my brain.
現在， 這是我的大腦。
There is a difference. Bothbrains have a Rational Decision-Maker in them, but the procrastinator'sbrain also has an Instant Gratification Monkey. Now, what does thismean for the procrastinator? Well, it means everything's fine until thishappens.
這二者之間有一個區別。 兩種大腦裡頭 都有一個理性的決策制定者， 但是拖延者的大腦裡， 還有一隻叫即時滿足的猴子。 對拖延者來說這意味著什麼呢？ 它意味著在這件事 發生之前一切都挺好的。
[This is a perfect time to get somework done.] [Nope!]
[現在是開始幹活的最佳時機.] [才不是呢!] So the Rational Decision-Maker willmake the rational decision to do something productive, but the Monkeydoesn't like that plan, so he actually takes the wheel, and he says,"Actually, let's read the entire Wikipedia page of the NancyKerrigan/ Tonya Harding scandal, because I just remembered that thathappened.
於是當理性的決策制定者 做出理性的決策， 想做一些富有成效的事時， 猴子不想這麼做， 於是他開始掌控方向盤， 而且他說：「實際上， 讓我們來讀一下維基百科上關於 南茜·克裡根/湯妮·雅哈丁 的醜聞案吧， 因為我剛想起來這件事。
Then –
然後
Then we're going to go over to thefridge, to see if there's anything new in there since 10 minutes ago. After that, we're going to go on a YouTube spiral that starts with videos of Richard Feynman talking about magnets and ends much, much later with us watching interviews with Just in Bieber's mom.
然後讓我們走到冰箱， 翻翻看這10分鐘以來有沒什麼新東西。 之後，讓我們繼續 在視頻網站上瀏覽， 從理察·費曼 談磁性的視頻開始看， 一直看到 對賈斯汀·比伯老媽的採訪 看到地老天荒。
"All of that's going to take awhile, so we're not going to really have room on the schedule for any work today. Sorry!"
「這一切都花時間, 所以我們今天的日程安排 沒辦法抽空幹活。 很抱歉！「
Now, what is going onhere? The Instant Gratification Monkey does not seem like a guy you want behind the wheel. He lives entirely in the present moment. He has no memory of the past, no knowledge of the future, and he only cares about two things: easy and fun.
這是怎麼回事呢？ 即時滿足猴子似乎不是那個 你想讓他操控方向盤的人。 他完全活在當下。 他沒有過去的記憶， 沒有對未來的認識， 他只關心兩件事： 簡單和快樂。
Now, in the animal world, that works fine. If you're a dog and you spend your whole life doing nothing other than easy and fun things, you're a huge success!
在動物世界裡，這樣沒問題。 如果你是一條狗， 你簡單、快樂地度過這一生， 就已經是巨大的成功！
And to the Monkey, humans are just another animal species. You have to keep well-slept, well-fed and propagating into the next generation, which in tribal times might have worked OK. But, if you haven't noticed, now we're not in tribal times. We're in an advanced civilization, and the Monkey does not know what that is. Which is why we have another guy in our brain, the Rational Decision-Maker, who gives us the ability to do things no other animal can do. We can visualize the future. We can see the big picture. We can make long-term plans. And he wants to take all of that into account. And he wants to just have us do whatever makes sense to be doing right now. Now, sometimes it makes sense to be doing things that are easy and fun, like when you're having dinner or going to bed or enjoying well-earned leisure time. That's why there's an over lap. Sometimes they agree. But other times, it makes much more sense to be doing things that are harder and less pleasant, for the sake of the big picture. And that's when we have a conflict. And for the procrastinator, that conflict tends to end a certain way every time, leaving him spending a lot of time in this orange zone, an easy and fun place that's entirely out ofthe Makes Sense circle. I call it the Dark Playground.
而對於猴子來說， 人類是另外一種動物。 你睡好、吃飽、繁殖下一代， 這麼做在部落時代或許沒問題。 但是，假如你還沒注意到，我們現在不是生活在部落時代。 我們處於一個先進的文明， 而猴子根本不懂那是什麼。 這就是為什麼我們腦袋裡還有另外一個傢伙， 理性的決策制定者， 他讓我們有能力去做 其他動物無法做到的事情。 我們可以預見未來。 我們可以顧全大局。 我們可以做長期打算。 而且他想把這些都考慮進去。 他想讓我們做 任何值得現在去做的事兒。 有時做簡單快樂的事 是有意義的， 比如吃飯、睡覺 或者享受應得的休閒時光。 這就是為什麼即時滿足猴子 和理性的決策制定者之間有重合。 有時他們意見一致。 但是有時，更有意義的是 去做那些比較難 而且不那麼讓人享受的事情， 這是出於全局的考慮。 此時二者之間會產生衝突。 對於拖延者來說， 每次衝突都以這種方式結束， 就是他在橙色區域 花費了大量時間， 這是那個簡單又快樂， 但是又沒有意義的那個區域。 我把這片區域稱為黑暗的操場。
Now, the Dark Playground is aplace that all of you procrastinators out there know very well. It's where leisure activities happen at times when leisure activities are not supposed to be happening. The fun you have in the Dark Playground isn't actually fun, because it's completely unearned, and the air is filled with guilt, dread, anxiety, self-hatred -- all of those good procrastinator feelings. And the question is, in this situation, with the Monkey behind the wheel, how does the procrastinator ever get himself over here to this blue zone, a less pleasant place, but where really important things happen?
黑暗的操場是一個 所有拖延者都很了解的地方。 這裡是在本來不應該休閒的時候 的休閒娛樂的活動場所。 在黑暗的操場得到的快樂 其實並不是快樂， 因為它完全是不勞而獲的， 這會帶來內疚、恐懼、焦慮、自我憎恨 這是所有拖延者的感受。 而且問題是，在這種情況下，由猴子掌控著方向盤， 怎麼能讓拖延者把自己 帶去藍色區域那邊呢， 那邊雖然沒那麼舒適，但是有很多重要的事情要做。
Well, turns out the procrastinator has a guardian angel, someone who's always looking down on him and watching over him in his darkest moments -- someone called the Panic Monster.
其實拖延者有個守護天使， 總是看不起他並且看守著他， 在那些最黑暗的時刻 它被稱為恐慌怪獸。
Now, the Panic Monster is dormantmost of the time, but he suddenly wakes up anytime a deadline gets tooclose or there's danger of public embarrassment, a career disaster or some other scary consequence. And importantly, he's the only thing the Monkey is terrified of. Now, he became very relevant in my life pretty recently, because the people of TED reached out to me about six months ago and invited me to do a TED Talk.
恐慌怪獸大部分時間都在冬眠， 但是截止期很靠近的時候 或者處於在公眾面前出醜的危險中時， 或面臨事業災難時， 或有其他可怕的後果時， 它就會突然醒來。 而且重要的是， 他是猴子唯一害怕的東西。 最近在我的生活裡，恐慌怪獸變得相當重要， 因為TED的工作人員 6個月之前聯絡過我， 邀請我做一次演講。
Now, of course, I said yes. It's always been a dream of mine to have done a TED Talk in the past.
當然，我答應啦。 我以前一直夢想著 可以做一次TED演講。
(Applause) But in the middle of all this excitement, the Rational Decision-Maker seemed to have something else on his mind. He was saying, "Are we clear on what we just accepted? Do we get what's going to be now happening one day in the future? We need to sit down and work on this right now." And the Monkey said, "Totally agree, but let's just open Google Earth and zoom in to the bottom of India, like 200 feet above the ground, and scroll up for two and a half hours til we get to the top of the country, so we can get a better feel for India."
（鼓掌） 但是在這種興奮中， 理性的決策制定者似乎在想別的事。 他會說：「我們清楚剛才答應了什麼嗎？ 我們現在具有完成 將來那個任務所需的能力嗎？ 我們得坐下來開始幹活。」 而猴子說：「完全同意， 但是讓我們打開谷歌地球 把鏡頭推進到印度地下200尺， 然後花兩個半小時 向上滾動到這個國家的地表， 讓我們更好地感受一下印度。「
So that's what we did that day. 那天我就是這麼做的。
As six months turned into four and then two and then one, the people of TED decided to release thespeakers. And I opened up the website, and there was my face staringright back at me. And guess who woke up?
當6個月變成4個月， 然後2個月，然後1個月時， TED工作人員開始發布演講者。 我打開網站看到自己的臉 盯著自己看。 你猜這個時候誰醒了？
So the Panic Monster starts losing his mind, and a few seconds later, the whole system's in may hem.
於是恐慌怪獸開始發瘋， 幾秒鐘之後，整個系統一片混亂。
And the Monkey -- remember, he's terrified of the Panic Monster -- boom, he's up the tree! And finally, finally, the Rational Decision-Maker can take the wheel and I can start working on the talk.
而猴子，還記得嗎？他害怕恐慌怪獸 嘣的一聲，他爬到樹上去了！ 於是終於， 理性的決策制定者 終於可以操控方向盤， 我可以開始準備這次演講。
Now, the Panic Monster explains all kinds of pretty insane procrastinator behavior, like how someone like me could spend two weeks unable to start the opening sentence of a paper, and then miraculously find the unbelievable work ethic to stay up all night and write eight pages. And this entire situation, with the three characters -- this is the procrastinator's system. It's not pretty, but in the end, it works. This is what I decided to write about on the blog a couple of years ago.
恐慌怪獸的存在解釋了 所有這些相當愚蠢的拖延行為 就比如我這樣的人花了兩個星期 還沒辦法開始寫論文的開頭語， 然後奇蹟般地又擁有了 令人難以置信的工作熱情 整晚熬夜寫了8頁。 整個情況中的三種角色 構建了拖延者的系統。 不美好，但是至少還有用。 這是我幾年前決定在博客寫的東西。
When I did, I was amazed by there sponse. Literally thousands of emails came in, from all different kinds of people from all over the world, doing all different kinds of things. These are people who were nurses, bankers, painters,engineers and lots and lots of PhD students.
發布之後， 收到的回應讓我大吃一驚。 我收到幾千封郵件， 來自世界各地不同地方的人， 他們做著各種不同的事兒。 有護士、銀行家、畫家、工程師 還有很多很多博士生。
And they were all writing, saying the same thing: "I have this problem too." But what struck me was the contrast between the light tone of the post and the heaviness of these emails. These people were writing with intense frustration about what procrastination had done to their lives, about what this Monkey had done to them. And I thought about this, and I said, well, if the procrastinator's system works, then what's going on? Why are all of these people in such a dark place?
內容基本上差不多： 「我也有這個問題。」 但是讓我印象深刻的是那種反差，帖子的輕鬆口吻 和那些郵件的沉重語氣的反差。 這些人有強烈的挫敗感 因為拖延影響到他們的生活， 因為猴子控制了他們的想法。 思考之後，我的問題是 如果拖延者的系統是有效的， 那麼到底是怎麼回事？ 為什麼這些人身陷 如此灰暗的境地？
Well, it turns out that there's two kinds of procrastination. Everything I've talked about today, the examples I've given, they all have deadlines. And when there's deadlines, the effects of procrastination are contained to the short term because the Panic Monster gets involved. But there's a second kind of procrastination that happens in situations when there is no deadline. So if you wanted a career where you're a self-starter-- something in the arts, something entrepreneurial -- there's nodeadlines on those things at first, because nothing's happening, not until you've gone out and done the hard work to get momentum, get things going. There's also all kinds of important things outside of your career that don't involve any deadlines, like seeing your family or exercising and taking care of your health, working on your relationship or getting out of a relationship that isn't working.
結果我發現原來有兩種拖延。 我今天談到的，上面舉過的例子 都有截止期。 有截止期的時候， 拖延的影響 被限制在一個較短的期限內 因為恐慌怪獸會介入。 但是對於第二種拖延來說 它發生在沒有截止期的情況下。 比如你想自己創業 或者從事藝術類的工作， 起初並沒有截止期， 因為在你還沒有開始努力幹活之前 不會有任何事情發生 沒有產生推進力讓事情繼續進行。 除了事業之外那些重要的事情 也沒有截止期， 比如看望你的家庭， 或者鍛鍊身體保持身體健康， 努力改善戀人關係 或者離開一段不滿意的關係。
Now if the procrastinator's only mechanism of doing these hard things is the Panic Monster, that's aproblem, because in all of these non-deadline situations, the PanicMonster doesn't show up. He has nothing to wake up for, so the effects of procrastination, they're not contained; they just extend out ward for ever. And it's this long-term kind of procrastination that's muchless visible and much less talked about than the funnier, short-termdeadline-based kind. It's usually suffered quietly and privately. And it can be the source of a huge amount of long-term unhappiness, and regrets. AndI thought, that's why those people are emailing, and that's why they're in such a bad place. It's not that they're cramming for some project. It's that long-term procrastination has made them feel like a spectator, at times, in their own lives. The frustration is not that they couldn't achieve their dreams; it's that they weren't even able to start chasing them.
如果拖延者做這些困難的事 只有一種機制 即恐慌怪獸，那麼問題來了， 因為在這些沒有截止期的情況下， 恐慌怪獸根本不會出現。 他沒有需要醒來的時候， 於是拖延的後果是不受限制的， 他們只會無限延期。 而這種長期的拖延 比起更有趣、更短期、 基於截止期的那種拖延來說， 不那麼明顯，也不經常被談論。 它通常是安靜地、悄悄地影響我們。 它可能是 大量長期不快樂、內疚的來源。 我覺得，這才是那些人 發來郵件的原因， 這才是他們處於 如此糟糕狀況的原因。 不是因為他們為了某個項目狂趕， 而是這種長期拖延 使他們感覺在他們自己的生活中 有時好像只是一個旁觀者。 他們的沮喪不是因為 他們無法實現自己的夢想； 而是他們甚至無法開始去追逐自己的夢想。
So I read these emails and I had a little bit of an epiphany -- that I don't think non-procrastinators exist. That's right -- I think all of you are procrastinators. Now,you might not all be a mess, like some of us,
所以讀完這些郵件之後， 我有一點領悟 我認為不存在不拖延的人。 沒錯，我認為大家都是拖延者。 你也許並不是像我們這樣， 每方面都一團糟，
and some of you may have a healthy relationship with deadlines, but remember: the Monkey's sneakiesttrick is when the deadlines aren't there.
也許有些人可以 很好的面對截止日期， 但是請記住：猴子最卑鄙的伎倆 在於沒有截止日期的部分。
Now, I want to show you one lastthing. I call this a Life Calendar. That's one box for every week ofa 90-year life. That's not that many boxes, especially since we've already used a bunch of those. So I think we need to all take a long, hard look at that calendar. We need to think about what we're really procrastinating on, because everyone is procrastinating on something in life. We need to stay aware of the Instant Gratification Monkey. That's a job for all of us. And because there's not that many boxes on there, it's a job that should probably start today.
現在我想給大家最後看一樣東西。 我把它叫做生命日曆。 假設一個人可以活到90歲， 每個星期是一個格子。 其實沒多少格子， 尤其是我們已經活了這麼多年。 我認為我們都需要花些時間，認真看一下這個生命日曆。 我們需要認真思考 我們真正拖延的是什麼， 因為每個人都在拖延某件事。 我們得時刻意識到 即時滿足這個猴子的存在。 這是我們所有人都應該做的事兒。 而且因為格子並不多， 這項工作也許應該從今天就開始。
Well, maybe not today, but ... 好吧，也許不是今天，但是...
You know. Sometime soon. 你懂的。 不久的將來。
Thank you.