We're on a bit of a 'death' kick this week to celebrate the upcoming Qingming Festival. And so, what better way to enjoy the holiday than by detailing some of the worst ways you could croak right here in the city. Stay safe!
Falling into a public squatty potty in a rural scenic area in Anhui province, no one hearing your screams, losing consciousness from hunger and then drowning to death when a busload of tourists arrive and need to utilize the facilities.
While watching a 『live animal display』 in a local 『aquarium』 you turn your back to call PETA to report animals living in foul conditions when one of the killer whales lunges for you and drags you to a watery grave.
You’re walking your dog when the dog catchers come, they realize you haven’t registered your dog and a struggle ensues, they’re trying to take your dog. Your local companion lunges for the dog catcher but accidentally misses and bites you in the neck and you die.
Walking back from lunch with a friend, she stops to use the bathroom and you lean against the window waiting for her to return. WHAT YOU DON』T KNOW IS: The window has been removed by builders for absolutely no reason and you plummet 11 stories. You luckily land on a pile of pillows in a trash heap and survive the fall but are run over by a swarm of teenagers on ofos who are all learning how to ride bikes and are unable to avoid hitting you.
Climbing into a zoo enclosure and being eaten by a tiger.
Climbing out of your car in a safari park and getting eaten by a tiger.
Just straight up being eaten by a tiger.
Being eaten alive by a swarm of cicadas when they all hatch this summer.
Your AC breaks so the repairman comes over to fix it. He realizes he needs to climb out of the window to get a better look at the problem. He ties a rope around his waist for 『safety』 and hands you the other end. Little does he know you’re hungover from a work party and as he slips you panic, try to hold the rope, but you’re not at 100% strength because tequila and you both fall out of the window.
You’re being a tad naughty in Celia at 8am on a Sunday morning when the police arrive. Frantic to avoid a blood/urine test you scramble among with 75% of the people in Celia to get out of the door. Panic ensues and you’re crushed by herds of trampling techno heads, some of whom are still dancing.
Related Articles
10 Excuses to Avoid Hanging Out With Someone
.
Pros and Cons of Lane House Living