I've got a few! Here are some short and funny quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Coffee: because adulting is hard."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "Procrastination is my superpower."
5. "Why walk when you can slide?"
6. "My life is a mess, but my hair looks great."
7. "Treat yo' self."
8. "I'm not short, I'm just concentrated awesome."
9. "Don't care don't care don't care"
10. "May the odds be ever in your favor (of getting the last slice of pizza)."
11. "You're never too old to play with Legos... or video games... or have a food fight."
12. "My cat is not fat, she's just fluffy and round like a pillow."
13. "Life hack: use a straw to drink your coffee without getting brain freeze."
14. "Why adult when you can just wing it?"
15. "My therapist says I should stop making dad jokes... but my kids love them!"
Hope these short and funny quotes made your day!
Here are some funny and crazy quotes to brighten your day:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people don't sleep because they're busy plotting world domination."
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "My brain is 90% caffeine and 10% confusion."
5. "Don't worry if you can't find me online, I'm probably hiding from my responsibilities."
6. "Life hack: just pretend you're a cat and scratch everything that bothers you."
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
8. "The reason I'm late is because I was abducted by aliens... or traffic, one of the two."
9. "My social skills are so bad, I've started using emojis to communicate with humans."
10. "Don't take life too seriously, you'll never make it out alive anyway."
11. "I'm not crazy, my mind is just a little... creatively challenged."
12. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried and claim the idea was stolen from someone else."
13. "My favorite thing about being an adult is not having to pretend to be one anymore."
14. "What's the difference between a hipster and a zombie? One has a beard, and the other has a better sense of smell."
15. "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parks? Just wondering..."
16. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for my next Netflix binge."
17. "If I had to choose between being wrong or right, I'd choose both."
18. "Life is like a rollercoaster – except the rollercoaster doesn't have a seatbelt and it's on fire."
19. "Don't worry about what people think, they're all probably thinking the same thing: 'I wonder if they know the toilet paper roll is empty?'"
20. "My life motto is: 'May the odds be ever in my favor... to get out of doing chores'."
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face! 😄
I've got a treasure trove of those! Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a puzzle. Most of the pieces don't fit."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "Life hack: Just add coffee."
4. "Adulting is hard. Can someone explain it to me?"
5. "My life is a mess, but my Netflix queue is perfect."
6. "Procrastination is like ketchup – it's always coming, but never quite arrives."
7. "Life is short, but pizza parties are eternal."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... again."
9. "My life motto: 'I'll do it tomorrow' (or next week, or next month...)"
10. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you coffee, make a latte."
11. "The only thing more exhausting than trying to adult is pretending to be an adult."
12. "Life is like a game of Jenga – one wrong move and it all comes crashing down."
13. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm a 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person."
14. "When in doubt, add glitter (and also more coffee)."
15. "Life hack: When someone asks you how you're doing, just say 'good' and walk away."
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
What a great topic! Here are some of the best funny quotes from movies:
1. **The Hangover (2009)** - "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis)
2. **Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)** - "It's just a flesh wound!" - The Black Knight
3. **The Big Lebowski (1998)** - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." - Jeff "The Dude" Lebow (Jeff Bridges)
4. **Dumb and Dumber (1994)** - "To infinity and beyond...and then I'll be back." - Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey)
5. **The Princess Bride (1987)** - "As you wish." - Westley (Cary Elwes)
Here are some hilarious and relatable quotes about life:
1. **"Life is like a piano. What you get depends on how you play it."** - Larry Wilde
2. **"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."** - Unknown
3. **"Life is short, but snacks are forever."** - Unknown
4. **"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then take a nap."** - Unknown
5. **"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."** - Unknown
6. **"Adulting is hard, but at least we can pretend to be okay with it."** - Unknown
7. **"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what kind of chaos you'll get."** - Forrest Gump (and many others)
8. **"My life is a mess, but my hair looks great today."** - Unknown
9. **"When in doubt, add coffee."** - Unknown
10. **"Life is too short to waste on people who don't make you laugh."** - Unknown
11. **"I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."** - Unknown
12. **"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."** - Unknown
13. **"Life is like a game of Jenga. You never know when the whole thing will come crashing down."** - Unknown
14. **"My life is a mess, but my cat doesn't care."** - Unknown
15. **"I'm not lazy, I'm just on a permanent vacation from reality."** - Unknown
16. **"Life is like riding a bike. Except the bike is on fire and you're riding it off a cliff."** - Unknown
17. **"When life gives you rain, take an umbrella... or just stay inside and watch Netflix."** - Unknown
18. **"My life is a mess, but I'm pretty sure I can handle it."** - Unknown
19. **"I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."** - Unknown
20. **"Life is like a puzzle. Sometimes the pieces don't fit together, but that's okay because you can always use glue and duct tape to make it work."** - Unknown
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
I've got a treasure trove of extremely funny quotes for you! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
2. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything." - Henry J. Youngman
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
4. "What's the difference between a hippie and a nudist? One of them is trying to get laid!" - Richard Lewis
5. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
6. "Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!" - Unknown
7. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
8. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!" - Unknown
9. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
10. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
11. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!" - Unknown
12. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!" - Unknown
13. "What's the best way to remember your wife's birthday? To ask her every year." - Unknown
14. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
15. "Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he's a fun-gi!" - Unknown
Hope these quotes brought a smile (or a laugh) to your face!
Here are some funny quotes for you:
**Morning Funny**
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing."
3. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
**Afternoon Laughs**
1. "Procrastination: The art of planning for tomorrow, today; and then not following through with that plan either."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
3. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!"
**Evening LOLs**
1. "The only thing more exhausting than running is lying about running."
2. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
3. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!"
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face and brighten up your day!
Here are some short, funny, and motivational quotes to inspire you:
1. "You're not lazy, you're just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "Believe you can and you're halfway there. The other half is actually doing it."
5. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
6. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today."
7. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. And also, you miss some of the ones you do take."
8. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving my energy for more important things... like Netflix."
9. "Don't worry about being the best; worry about being better than you were yesterday."
10. "You're stronger than you think, unless you're thinking really hard and then you might be wrong."
11. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's the coffee that gets you through the day."
12. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
13. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."
14. "Remember why you started and let that be enough."
15. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. And if you don't love it, pretend to until you do."
16. "Don't give up! Unless you're doing something stupid. Then give up."
17. "You are capable of amazing things. Now go out there and be average for once."
18. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
19. "Life is like a puzzle; some pieces don't fit. But that's okay because then you get to break them and use them as decorations."
20. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."
I hope these funny motivational quotes give you a good laugh and a boost of motivation!