The wisdom of the internet! Here are some humorous tips from Reddit's community for a newly married couple:
**From r/AskReddit:**
1. **Don't go to bed angry... unless you're both really tired**: "Just agree to disagree and sleep on it. Trust me, your marriage will be stronger because of it." (u/thunderthighs)
2. **Communicate, but not too much**: "I mean, come on, you don't need to tell each other everything that's going on in your day. Save some mystery for the rest of your lives." (u/throwaway1234567)
3. **Don't assume your partner knows what you want**: "I thought my wife knew I wanted a kiss goodnight. Turns out, she was just trying to get away from me because I stunk." (u/hungoverhippie)
4. **Laugh at each other's dad jokes**: "It's okay if they're terrible. Laughter is the best medicine, after all... or so my wife tells me." (u/oldguyintraining)
**From r/WeddingAdvice:**
1. **Prioritize your partner over in-laws**: "I know it's hard to resist Grandma's guilt trips, but remember: you're a team now. You vs. the in-laws is not a fair fight." (u/MrsPickle123)
2. **Don't try to change each other**: "You love them for who they are, quirks and all. Stop trying to fix things that ain't broke." (u/WeddingCrasher88)
3. **Make time for date nights**: "It's not about the fancy dinner or expensive gifts; it's about reconnecting as a couple. Even a walk around the block counts!" (u/CoupleGoals23)
**From r/MarriageAdvice:**
1. **Respect each other's personal space**: "Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip all the time. Give each other some room to breathe." (u/PeacefulWarrior99)
2. **Don't compete with each other**: "You both won when you got married, so stop trying to one-up each other and just enjoy the ride." (u/HappilyEverAfter12)
3. **Laugh together often**: "Life is too short to take yourself seriously all the time. Laughing together will keep your marriage light and joyful." (u/MarriedLifeHacks)
Remember, these are just humorous tips from the internet. Marriage advice is highly personal, and what works for one couple may not work for another.
Wonderful topic! Here are some wedding advice and tips specifically for the couple:
**Before the Big Day:**
1. **Communicate openly**: Talk to each other regularly, share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns with each other.
2. **Set realistic expectations**: Understand that things won't always go as planned, but having a positive attitude will help you navigate any issues that arise.
3. **Make time for each other**: Amidst the chaos of planning, prioritize quality time together, even if it's just a walk or a quiet dinner at home.
**On Your Wedding Day:**
1. **Take a moment to breathe**: Remember that this is your special day, and take a few deep breaths before exchanging vows.
2. **Let go of perfection**: Things might not be exactly as planned, but that's okay. Focus on the love and commitment you're making to each other.
3. **Enjoy the celebration**: Soak up every moment with your loved ones, friends, and family.
**In the Years to Come:**
1. **Maintain communication**: Continue talking openly about your thoughts, feelings, and desires with each other.
2. **Show appreciation**: Express gratitude for each other, often and sincerely.
3. **Grow together**: Embrace new experiences, challenges, and adventures as a team.
**Additional Tips:**
1. **Prioritize your relationship**: Make time for date nights, romantic getaways, and regular "us" time.
2. **Laugh together**: Laughter is the best medicine, so find the humor in life's ups and downs.
3. **Forgive and forget (mostly)**: Remember that no one is perfect, and practice forgiveness and understanding.
**A Special Message for the Couple:**
As you embark on this incredible journey together, remember to cherish every moment, big or small. Your love is the foundation of your relationship, and with open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to grow together, you'll build a strong, loving partnership that will last a lifetime.
Congratulations, and may your love continue to flourish!
The classics! Here are some old-fashioned marriage advice with a humorous twist:
1. **Marriage is 90% compromise and 10% pretending to like the compromises you're making**.
Example: You want a quiet evening at home, but your partner wants to go out and party? Compromise by going out, then complaining loudly about how tired you are afterward.
2. **Communicate... or just agree to disagree (and let the other person think they won)**.
Example: Your wife asks if you're happy with your life choices. You say, "Yeah, I'm good." She says, "Really? Because I was thinking we should get a dog." You say, "Oh, yeah! A dog would be great!" (even though you hate dogs).
3. **Don't bother trying to fix each other's problems – just give each other a participation trophy**.
Example: Your partner is struggling with stress at work. You try to offer solutions, but they just shrug it off and say, "I don't know, man." You respond by giving them a high-five and saying, "You're doing your best, that's all that matters!"
4. **Remember, marriage is a marathon – not a sprint (unless you have a really long couch, then it's a sprint)**.
Example: Your partner wants to binge-watch an entire season of their favorite show in one sitting. You say, "But honey, we need to go out and get some exercise!" They respond by saying, "Just five more episodes, I promise!" You give in, and they watch 12 hours straight.
5. **The most important thing is to love each other – unless you can't stand the smell of your partner's feet, then maybe not so much**.
Example: Your partner has a weird foot fungus that makes their toes smell like rotten eggs. You try to hide your disgust, but it's hard when they're wearing sandals in public.
6. **Don't worry about growing apart – just grow together (like a weird, intertwined plant)**.
Example: You and your partner both start loving the same obscure TV show. You start quoting lines and making fun of each other's favorite characters. It becomes your new hobby... for better or worse.
7. **Marriage is all about trust – unless you find out your partner has been secretly eating your snacks (then it's time to reevaluate)**.
Example: Your partner "forgets" to tell you they've been raiding the snack cabinet for weeks. You confront them, and they say, "Oh, I thought those were community snacks!" You respond by saying, "Community snacks don't have a secret stash in the pantry!"
8. **The key to a happy marriage is finding common ground – unless that common ground is arguing over who left the cap off the toothpaste**.
Example: Your partner leaves the cap off the toothpaste, and you get annoyed every time you brush your teeth. You start leaving it off on purpose just to see how long it takes them to notice... and then argue about who started it.
9. **Marriage is a journey – not a destination (unless that destination is a really nice vacation spot, then it's all about the destination)**.
Example: Your partner plans a surprise trip to Hawaii for your anniversary. You respond by saying, "This is the best day of my life!" They say, "I'm glad you're enjoying it." You start plotting how to get out of going back to work on Monday.
10. **The most important thing in marriage is having fun – unless that fun involves doing chores or adulting**.
Example: Your partner suggests doing laundry together on the weekend. You respond by saying, "How about we just play video games instead?" They say, "Sounds like a plan!"
Here are some humorous takes on terrible marriage advice:
1. **Never communicate**: Just pretend you're not listening to each other and hope the problem solves itself.
2. **Prioritize your hobbies over your spouse**: Who needs a happy partner when you can have a new hobby or 10?
3. **Only have sex on Tuesdays**: It's all about consistency, folks!
4. **Divorce is an option**: If things get too rough, just file for divorce and start fresh (with someone else).
5. **Never do anything your spouse wants**: Why bother trying to compromise when you can just say no?
6. **Blame everything on the kids**: It's always someone else's fault, right?
7. **Marriage is like a video game**: Just level up, collect power-ups (i.e., ignore each other), and try not to get killed.
8. **Don't bother with intimacy**: Who needs physical affection when you have Netflix and remote controls?
9. **Make all decisions based on who gets more TV time**: It's all about priorities, folks!
10. **Never apologize**: Apologies are just a sign of weakness (or so I've been told).
11. **Marriage is like a puzzle**: Just shove the pieces together and hope they fit (even if it means forcing them).
12. **Don't bother with date nights**: Why spend money on a nice dinner when you can just eat takeout in front of the TV?
13. **Never listen to your partner's concerns**: Who needs constructive feedback when you're already right?
14. **Let your spouse handle all household chores**: It's only fair that one person does all the work (and gets all the credit).
15. **Marriage is like a rollercoaster**: Just hold on tight and hope you don't throw up!
Remember, these are just humorous takes on terrible marriage advice. In reality, a happy and healthy marriage requires effort, communication, and compromise from both partners!
Here are some funny marriage advice one-liners:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of there."
2. "The key to a happy marriage is finding someone who has the same values as you... and then ignoring them when they don't align."
3. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but eventually, you're just trying not to be the one who makes it all fall down."
4. "The secret to a successful marriage is finding someone who loves you more than pizza... and then never ordering pizza."
5. "Marriage is like riding a bike. Except instead of falling off, you just get stuck in a rut and can't remember how to get back up."
6. "The key to a happy marriage is being able to laugh at your partner's dad jokes... even when they're not funny."
7. "Marriage is like a puzzle. You start with two people who fit together perfectly, but then you add kids, debt, and in-laws, and suddenly it's just a bunch of pieces that don't quite fit anymore."
8. "The secret to a successful marriage is finding someone who loves you for who you are... except when they hate your snoring."
9. "Marriage is like building a sandcastle. You start with a beautiful structure, but then the tide comes in and washes it all away... only to rebuild again the next day."
10. "The key to a happy marriage is being able to say 'I love you' without actually meaning it... or at least not meaning it as much as you mean 'can we just order takeout tonight?'"
11. "Marriage is like learning a new language. You start with two people who speak the same fluently, but then you add kids and in-laws, and suddenly you're trying to decipher what the other person means when they say 'honey do I' for the 100th time that day."
12. "The secret to a successful marriage is finding someone who loves you more than their favorite sports team... or at least doesn't yell at the TV as much during games."
Remember, these are just one-liners and not meant to be taken seriously!
"Communicate, compromise, and laugh often."
Here are 10 humorous "rules" for a happy marriage:
1. **The Husband's Guide to Not Losing Your Shirt (Literally)**: If you spill something on your shirt, it's not the end of the world. In fact, it's an opportunity to bond over laundry duty.
2. **Don't Be That Guy**: No one likes "That Guy" who leaves the toilet seat up, snores like a chainsaw, or thinks they're right even when they're wrong (see rule #5).
3. **Communication is Key (But Not Too Much)**: Talk to each other about your feelings, but don't overdo it. You're not in couples therapy... yet.
4. **Give Each Other Space (But Not Too Far)**: Respect each other's alone time, but don't go off the grid and start living with llamas just because you need some me-time.
5. **The Power of "I'm Wrong"**: When in doubt, say "you're right." It's a marriage-saving phrase... most of the time.
6. **Don't Make Each Other Eat Brussels Sprouts (Unless You Both Like Them)**: Just kidding, make each other eat them if you both love them! Kidding again, don't do that.
7. **The 50/50 Rule**: Divide household chores and responsibilities evenly... or at least pretend to so your partner thinks they're getting off scot-free.
8. **Laughter is the Best Medicine (Unless You Have Insurance)**: Laugh often, especially during those awkward family gatherings when you realize your cousin's been wearing the same shirt since 1997.
9. **The Art of Compromise**: Agree on who gets to control the TV remote, but don't think that means you get to watch cat videos all day... or do you?
10. **Love is Patient (But Your Patience Will Be Tested)**: Remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place, even when your partner leaves the cap off the toothpaste for the 12th time this week.
Remember, these "rules" are meant to be humorous and not taken too seriously. Happy marriage-ing!
Here are some funny marriage quotes that are perfect for newlyweds:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but over time you get a whole lot of clubs and spades."
2. "I love being married. The only thing I don't like about it is that my husband doesn't make me happy anymore. Just kidding, he still makes me happy... most of the time."
3. "Marriage is an adventure, not a chore. Unless you're doing the dishes. Then it's a chore."
4. "I used to think that marriage was all about finding someone who is your best friend and partner in crime. But then I got married and realized it's really just about finding someone who will still love you even when you leave the cap off the toothpaste."
5. "The secret to a happy marriage? Never go to bed angry... unless you're tired. Then it's okay to go to bed angry and deal with it in the morning."
6. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but over time you take out pieces and hope it doesn't all come crashing down around you."
7. "The best thing about being married? Having someone to blame for everything that goes wrong."
8. "I love my husband more than pizza, and that's saying a lot because I really love pizza."
9. "Marriage is the best way to get a permanent partner in crime... or at least, that's what I keep telling myself when I'm trying to talk my husband into doing something illegal."
10. "The most important thing about marriage? Communication. Unless you're trying to avoid an argument. Then it's best just to pretend like nothing is wrong and hope the other person doesn't notice."
11. "Marriage is like a box of chocolates... except instead of chocolates, it's a bunch of dirty socks and old t-shirts."
12. "The secret to a successful marriage? Finding someone who loves you more than their phone. Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself when my husband is scrolling through Twitter during dinner."
13. "Marriage is the best way to get a permanent seatmate on the couch... and in life."
14. "The most romantic thing about marriage? Realizing that your partner has been silently judging you for all these years, but still chooses to love you anyway."
15. "I love being married because it's like having a permanent sleepover with my best friend... except instead of staying up late playing video games and eating ice cream, we stay up late arguing about who left the dishes in the sink."
Remember, marriage is all about laughing together (even at your partner's dad jokes) and making memories that will last a lifetime. Congratulations to the newlyweds!