Here are some funny quotes that can brighten your day:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Coffee: because adulting is hard"
3. "Life is short, but snacks are forever"
4. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch cat videos, repeat"
5. "Procrastination is my superpower"
6. "Don't care, don't worry, don't stress. Just eat a cookie."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode"
8. "Why adult when you can Netflix and chill?"
9. "Today's mood: 10/10 would recommend"
10. "Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have health insurance, then go see a doctor"
11. "My life motto: 'I'll get to it eventually...'"
12. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried"
13. "Wine: because adulting is hard (again)"
14. "Don't worry about the future, or worry about it – either way, you won't remember it"
15. "Life hack: when in doubt, add cheese"
These quotes are meant to be lighthearted and humorous, bringing a smile to your face and brightening your day!
I've got a treasure trove of them!
Here are some very short, funny quotes:
1. "Cats are like potato chips..."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "Don't care much for Mondays."
5. "Today's goals: eat pizza, watch Netflix, repeat."
6. "My brain is 90% sarcasm and 10% actual thoughts."
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
8. "Life hack: just pretend you're a chicken sometimes."
9. "Don't worry about the future; it will be here eventually."
10. "My favorite exercise is looking at my phone."
11. "Procrastination is like, 'I'll get to it... tomorrow'."
12. "If I had a dollar for every time someone said 'no offense', I'd have $0.05."
13. "Life is short; eat the ice cream first."
14. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
15. "What's the point of having a pet if you're not going to dress it up?"
Hope these made you giggle!
I've got you covered! Here are some funny and brightening quotes that are perfect for Instagram:
1. "Today is a new day, don't mess it up (just kidding, just go with the flow)"
2. "Coffee, because adulting is hard"
3. "Life hack: just pretend to be an adult until you figure out what's going on"
4. "When in doubt, add glitter (or wine, or both)"
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for Netflix binges"
6. "Don't worry, your future self will thank you (or at least send a nice meme)"
7. "Procrastination is my superpower (don't @ me)"
8. "Life is short, eat the cookie (and then regret it later)"
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right"
10. "My therapist says I'm doing great... in my head"
11. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then forget to bring it to work and have a meltdown"
12. "You're never too old for a nap (or a candy bar)"
13. "I don't always have time for self-care... but I do have time for memes"
14. "My favorite exercise is lying on the couch, but that's not really an 'exercise', is it?"
15. "Life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good"
Feel free to share them on Instagram with your friends and followers!
I've got a whole collection of them! Here are some funny and crazy quotes to make you laugh:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "Crazy people don't think they're crazy. That's what makes them crazy."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'whenever the coffee kicks in' person."
5. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (get it?) Ah, who am I kidding, that joke's corny!"
6. "I don't have a drinking problem. I have a drinking solution to my problems."
7. "The reason why I'm late is because time isn't working with me. It's like we're in a relationship and time is the worst partner ever."
8. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!"
9. "I don't have a fear of heights, I have a fear of falling from great heights and having everyone laugh at my ridiculous outfit"
10. "My therapist told me to take a deep breath and let go of my worries. Then he charged me $200 an hour for 30 minutes of conversation."
11. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!"
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
13. "The reason why I can't go to your party is because I don't want to get stuck in a conversation with someone who's 10 minutes older than me"
14. "Why did the baker go to the bank? He needed dough!"
15. "I'm not a procrastinator, I just like to leave things until the last minute so I can experience the thrill of doing them at the last minute"
These quotes are guaranteed to make you laugh, cringe, or nod your head in recognition!
I've got a few of those!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. Life is like pizza - even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.
2. Adulting is hard, but eating ice cream is easy.
3. I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode.
4. Marriage is like a game of Jenga - except instead of blocks, you're removing personal space and sanity.
5. My life motto: eat, sleep, repeat (and occasionally clean the cat hair off my clothes).
6. Procrastination is my superpower - I can do nothing in 10 seconds flat.
7. The only thing more exhausting than working out is not working out.
8. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then spill it on your shirt and forget about it.
9. My brain is like a browser with too many tabs open - it's just trying to find the right one before crashing.
10. The best way to get over someone is to get under them (on the couch) and binge-watch Netflix.
Hope these quotes give you a chuckle!
I've got some doozies for you!
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except the pieces don't always fit, and sometimes the box is missing."
2. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
3. "Adulting is hard, but pretending to be an adult while secretly having no idea what you're doing is even harder."
4. "My life is like a video game - except instead of levels and power-ups, it's just me trying not to die from boredom or existential dread."
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
6. "Life is full of ups and downs, but honestly, most days are just a bunch of mediocre, unremarkable slogs."
7. "My brain is 90% thoughts about food, 5% thoughts about how I'm going to get away with eating that extra slice of pizza, and 5% actual problem-solving skills."
8. "I'm not saying I'm a morning person, but I've been known to fake it until the coffee kicks in."
9. "Life is like a box of chocolates - except instead of different flavors, it's just a bunch of confusing, disappointing, and sometimes amazing experiences that will leave you wondering what the heck happened."
10. "My life is a mess, but at least I have my priorities straight... which are mostly centered around finding the perfect meme to caption my existential crisis."
11. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours. That's not being rude, that's just good communication!"
12. "Life is full of mysteries, like 'Why do pants have buttons on the inside?' and 'How do people eat avocado toast without getting it all over their faces?'"
13. "I'm not saying I'm a procrastinator, but I've been working on this project for 5 minutes now... and I still haven't started."
14. "Life is like a rollercoaster - except instead of going up and down, it's just one long, slow climb to the top of 'Meh' Mountain."
15. "My life is a series of poorly planned decisions, followed by moments of 'Wait, what did I just do?!'"
Hope these quotes give you a good laugh (and maybe a little perspective on life)!
I'd love to share some short, funny, and happy quotes with you!
Here are a few:
1. "Today is a new day, start fresh, smile often, and don't let anything ruin your vibe."
2. "Life is too short to waste on being serious all the time. Be silly, be goofy, be YOU!"
3. "Happiness is not a destination; it's a choice you make every morning when you wake up."
4. "Laughter is the best medicine, unless you have a headache, then you should probably just take some actual medicine."
5. "Don't worry if your dreams don't come true today, just remember that pizza will always be there for you."
6. "Smile often, laugh always, and love unconditionally. Life's too short to be anything else!"
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference (and it's a happy one)!"
8. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And then drink that lemonade while watching your favorite funny cat video."
9. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." (And if you're 2 years old, you can still play with blocks!)
10. "The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up and work towards them. And also have a good breakfast."
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face and some joy to your day!
I've got a treasure trove of clever and funny quotes for you!
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference." - Mitch Hedberg
3. "What's the point of being alive if you can't be weird?" - Unknown
4. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
5. "Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?" - Unknown
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for all the things I'll be doing later." - Unknown
7. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
8. "Why do men have to go to the bathroom in groups? Can't they just take turns?" - Unknown
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
10. "I love being an adult because I can eat ice cream for breakfast and pretend it's a 'treat'." - Unknown
11. "What's the difference between a pancake and a pizza? One has butter, one has cheese... and both have grease!" - Unknown
12. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
13. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
14. "If you can't find a good parking spot, blame it on the sun... or the moon... or gravity." - Unknown
15. "Life is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." - Unknown
I hope these quotes brought a smile to your face and a spring to your step!