Laughing Your Way to Salvation: Funny Church Bulletins and Sign Sayings

12/28/2024

Short funny church sayings


Here are some short and funny church sayings:

1. "The Bible says, 'Love thy neighbor.' I say, 'Just give 'em a cookie'!"
2. "Pray like you mean it. Unless you're praying for patience. Then just take a deep breath."
3. "Church: Where we worship, and also where we stuff our faces with potluck food."
4. "God said, 'Let there be light.' I say, 'Can we turn off the lights? My eyes are tired.'"
5. "The Holy Spirit is like a gentle breeze... or a strong wind that knocks over your trash can."
6. "We're not perfect, but our coffee is."
7. "Church: Where we learn to love our neighbors and also where we learn to love our neighbor's dog."
8. "Prayer: The answer to all your problems... unless you pray for the wrong answer."
9. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right according to scripture."
10. "Church: Where we find community, support, and also where we find out who ate the last donut."
11. "The Bible says, 'Do unto others...' but let's be real, most people would rather you just did it yourself."
12. "God is always with us... unless we're in a meeting or during a TV commercial break."
13. "Church: Where we worship and also where we worry about who's wearing the wrong shirt."
14. "Pray for patience... then go ahead and yell at the kids to stop making so much noise."
15. "The Holy Spirit is like a good friend... except it never texts you back."

Remember, these are just lighthearted sayings meant to bring a smile to your face!


One liners church signs


One-liners on church signs are a great way to catch people's attention and share a meaningful message in a concise and clever way. Here are some examples:

1. "Jesus is the answer, even when you're not sure what the question is."
2. "Come as you are... unless you can be a unicorn, then come as that too."
3. "The only thing we take seriously is Jesus. Everything else is just a joke."
4. "Our church: where the coffee is strong and the gospel is stronger."
5. "Jesus loves you more than pizza, and that's saying something."
6. "We're not perfect, but our Wi-Fi is."
7. "God so loved the world that He gave us Jesus... and also a really good therapist."
8. "Our church: where the only thing we take more seriously than worship is nap time."
9. "You don't have to be perfect to attend; just don't be a velociraptor."
10. "Come for the community, stay for the free snacks."
11. "The Bible says I'm supposed to forgive my enemies... but they're really annoying."
12. "Our church: where the only thing we take more seriously than our faith is our fantasy football league."
13. "God won't give you more than you can handle... unless it's a surprise party, then He'll totally go over budget."
14. "We're not a church for everyone; we're a church for anyone who wants to be."
15. "Our church: where the only thing we take more seriously than prayer is our parking lot."

These one-liners on church signs are a great way to grab people's attention, share a message, and invite them to learn more about your church community.


Funny church signs 2024


Funny church signs are a great way to bring a smile to people's faces and spark interesting conversations. Here are some ideas for funny church signs that might be relevant in 2024:

1. "Welcome to our imperfectly perfect community"
2. "Pray hard, laugh harder"
3. "The early bird gets the worm, but the late riser gets the coffee"
4. "Our church: where faith meets funny haircuts"
5. "Come for the worship, stay for the donuts"
6. "Jesus is not a hugger, but our pastor is"
7. "Bible study: because you can never have too many acronyms"
8. "Our youth group: where the only thing we take seriously is having fun"
9. " Warning: our worship team may cause spontaneous singing and dancing"
10. "All are welcome, except for those who refuse to wear matching t-shirts"
11. "This church has a no- tolerance policy for boring sermons"
12. "Our pastor's jokes are so bad, they're good (but not really)"
13. "Come see our amazing choir: 99% of them can actually sing"
14. "Jesus is the answer to all your questions, except for 'what's for lunch'"
15. "Our church has a no- cell phone zone (except during sermons, when we're all too distracted anyway)"

Remember that humor is subjective, so it's essential to consider your audience and the tone you want to convey with your signs. You can also use these ideas as inspiration and come up with your own unique funny church sign messages!


Inspirational funny church signs


Church signs that bring a smile to your face while also sharing a message of hope and inspiration are the best! Here are some examples:

1. "Warning: Jesus is watching. (But he's probably laughing at our jokes.)"
2. "The Bible says, 'Love thy neighbor.' The rest is just details."
3. "Jesus isn't just a great teacher; He's also a great therapist!"
4. "Our church motto: 'Where the only thing we take seriously is God's love for you.'"
5. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If you still can't get it right, come to church and we'll pray about it."
6. "Don't worry, be happy... unless you're worried about being happy. Then worry some more and come to church for a dose of peace!"
7. "The Bible says, 'Do not be anxious about anything...' (Philippians 4:6). So, we won't be anxious about the coffee machine being out of order."
8. "Our church is not just a building; it's a community... and also a really good place to get lost in prayer"
9. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a bad hair day, come to church and we'll pray about it."
10. "God loves you just the way you are! (Except if you're a sinner; then he'll love you into being a non-sinner.)"
11. "Our church is not just for Sundays; it's a lifestyle... or at least that's what our pastor keeps telling us"
12. "If you're feeling lost, we've got maps and GPS systems to help you find your way back to God"
13. "The Bible says, 'Love your neighbor.' The rest of the world says, 'Love your neighbor with a strong sense of self-preservation and a good alarm system.' We say, 'Love your neighbor with reckless abandon! (Just kidding, we still have our alarm system.)'"
14. "Our church motto: 'Where God's love is the only thing that matters... unless you want to get a great deal on a parking spot'"
15. "When life gets tough, remember: God is bigger than your problems... and also bigger than your mortgage payment"

These signs might not be as profound or serious as some church signs, but they're sure to bring a smile to your face while sharing a message of hope and inspiration!


Old time church sayings


What a treasure trove of wisdom and nostalgia! Here are some classic "old-time" church sayings that many of us grew up with:

1. **"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want."** (Psalm 23:1) - A reminder that God's provision is sufficient.
2. **"Cleanliness is next to godliness."** - Emphasizing the importance of personal hygiene and spiritual purity.
3. **"Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!"** - A phrase often used during times of crisis or war, encouraging people to trust in God's protection and provision.
4. **"When the going gets tough, the tough get praying."** - A saying that encourages perseverance and seeking divine guidance in challenging situations.
5. **"God is my rock, my salvation."** (Psalm 18:2) - A declaration of dependence on God as a source of strength and deliverance.
6. **"The Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it!"** - A phrase that emphasizes the authority and reliability of Scripture.
7. **"If you want to walk with Jesus, you gotta keep your feet clean."** - A reminder that spiritual growth requires moral purity and a commitment to living a holy life.
8. **"The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: the Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee."** (Numbers 6:24-25) - A beautiful benediction asking God's favor, protection, and guidance.
9. **"The blood of Jesus is greater than any situation!"** - A declaration of faith in the power of Christ's sacrifice to overcome any obstacle or challenge.
10. **"God is good all the time."** - A simple yet powerful affirmation of God's sovereignty and goodness, no matter what life brings.

These old-time church sayings often reflect a deep faith, trust, and dependence on God. They can be a great reminder of the importance of prayer, Scripture, and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Inspirational church sign sayings


Church signs are a great way to share uplifting messages with the community. Here are some inspirational church sign sayings that you might find helpful:

1. "Faith is the key, unlock your potential."
2. "Love is the answer, let's get started!"
3. "Hope is a light in the darkness, shine on!"
4. "Jesus is the way, come and see!"
5. "God loves you just the way you are, flaws and all!"
6. "Faith without works is dead, but faith with works is life-changing!"
7. "You are loved more than words can say, believe it!"
8. "Forgiveness is a gift, unwrap it today!"
9. "Gratitude unlocks the door to abundance, start practicing!"
10. "Your identity is in Christ, not your mistakes or successes."
11. "The Bible says I am a new creation, that's good news!"
12. "God is not surprised by your struggles, He knows you'll get through them!"
13. "Love your neighbor as yourself, it's the best advice ever given!"
14. "Fear less, trust more, and watch God do amazing things!"
15. "You are strong enough to overcome, just ask Jesus!"
16. "God's got this, don't worry about a thing!"
17. "The power is in your hands, but only through Christ can you truly be free."
18. "God knows you better than anyone else ever will, He loves you regardless!"
19. "Your story is not over yet, keep shining your light!"
20. "God's love is unconditional, just like His mercy and grace!"

I hope these inspirational church sign sayings bring a smile to people's faces and encourage them in their faith journeys!


Short church sign sayings


I love short and sweet church sign sayings that can spark interesting conversations and reflections. Here are some examples:

1. **"God is not impressed."** - A playful reminder that our actions don't impress Him, but rather His love for us does.
2. **"Love wins."** - A simple yet powerful declaration of God's unconditional love.
3. **"You are loved."** - A reassuring message reminding everyone that they are valued and cherished by God.
4. **"Faith is not the absence of fear, but the presence of courage."** - Encouragement to face our fears with faith and confidence in God.
5. **"Jesus is the answer."** - A straightforward declaration of Jesus as the solution to life's problems.
6. **"Hope is rising."** - A message of encouragement and hope in times of struggle or uncertainty.
7. **"Forgive, forget, move forward."** - Practical advice for dealing with past hurts and moving toward a brighter future.
8. **"Pray hard, pray often."** - A reminder to communicate regularly with our Heavenly Father.
9. **"God's got this."** - A reassuring message that God is always in control, no matter what life throws at us.
10. **"Come as you are, leave changed."** - An invitation to come to church just as we are, with the promise of transformation through a relationship with Jesus.

These short church sign sayings can be a great way to share inspiring messages with your community and beyond!


Funny church bulletin quotes


A great topic! Here are some funny church bulletin quotes that might bring a smile to your face:

1. "Prayer is the answer to every problem... plus it's free."
2. "Please do not leave your children unattended in the pew. They may try to pray for their ice cream."
3. "In case of an emergency, please exit the building through the sanctuary doors. And by 'emergency,' we mean when you finally realize you forgot to turn off your phone during the sermon."
4. "This week's scripture: 'Love thy neighbor as thyself... unless they're taking up two parking spots.'"
5. "The church will be having a potluck dinner this Sunday. Please bring a dish to share, and by 'dish,' we mean don't show up empty-handed like last time."
6. "Today's sermon topic: 'The Importance of Forgiveness.' And by 'importance,' we mean trying not to judge your neighbor for wearing those ridiculous shoes."
7. "If you're late to church, please don't worry about it. We've got a 'fashionably late' policy... and by that, we mean the pastor is still getting settled at the pulpit."
8. "The choir will be performing a special rendition of 'Hallelujah' this Sunday. Please join us in worshiping God... or at least trying to sing along without embarrassing yourself."
9. "Church members, please note: the coffee machine has been replaced with an 'automatic' one. By 'automatic,' we mean it might not always work... but hey, that's half the fun of church, right?"
10. "This Sunday's scripture: 'And lo, it came to pass that someone forgot to turn off the copier again.'"
11. "Our youth group will be leading a special service today. By 'special,' we mean they'll probably play some loud music and try to get everyone to join in on the worship... or just fall asleep."
12. "If you're feeling down, don't worry! Our church has a 'Blessings Box' where you can write down your concerns and leave them for God to handle. And by 'handle,' we mean we'll probably forget about it anyway."

These quotes are meant to be light-hearted and playful, poking fun at some of the quirks and challenges that come with attending church. Remember, they're all in good humor!