I've got some old-fashioned marriage advice that's been passed down through the ages, and I'm happy to share it with you! Keep in mind that these are just humorous takes on traditional advice, so take 'em for what they're worth!
1. **"Marriage is like a deck of cards: you start with two hearts and a diamond, but after 10 years, you're just trying to find the club."** (Translation: Marriage can be tough, but it's worth it in the end!)
2. **"A happy marriage is like a well-made bed: it takes effort every day to keep it from getting messy again!"** (Translation: Communication and teamwork are key to a happy marriage!)
3. **"Marriage is 99% compromise and 1% 'I told you so'."** (Translation: You'll have to give in on some things, but don't worry, you can still win the occasional argument)
4. **"The secret to a successful marriage? Just remember: you're not married to your spouse; you're married to their snoring!"** (Translation: Laugh at each other's quirks and imperfections, even if they drive you crazy sometimes!)
5. **"In every marriage, there are three rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the 'I'm outta here' ring."** (Translation: Marriage can be tough, but with love and commitment, you'll make it through any rough patches!)
6. **"A happy married couple is like a well-timed joke: you know when to laugh and when to fake it!"** (Translation: Life isn't always easy, but with humor and teamwork, you can tackle anything that comes your way)
7. **"Marriage is like baking a cake: it takes two ingredients (love and compromise), three eggs (time, effort, and patience), and 3000°F of heat (passion) to make something truly delicious!"** (Translation: Marriage requires work, dedication, and passion to be successful)
Remember, these are just humorous takes on traditional marriage advice. In the end, every marriage is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. But with love, commitment, and a sense of humor, you'll be well on your way to building a happy and fulfilling marriage!
A great source of humor and practicality! Here are some gems from the "Funny marriage advice for newlyweds" subreddit:
1. **Don't marry someone who doesn't understand the concept of 'personal space'** - Aka, don't marry your sister.
2. **Remember that no matter how much you love each other, you will still find ways to annoy the heck out of each other**. So, learn to laugh at it (and yourself).
3. **Communicate... or just agree to disagree and pretend you're right** - Honesty is important, but so are not wanting to have "the fight" for hours.
4. **The most important thing is to find someone who loves you more than they love being right**. Good luck with that!
5. **Marriage is like a game of Jenga... except instead of blocks, it's arguments and dirty socks**. Keep calm, and carry on (laughing).
6. **Don't marry someone who has a different favorite pizza topping** - Just kidding! But seriously, find common ground (and toppings).
7. **The key to a happy marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they love their phone**. Good luck with that!
8. **Don't forget that every couple is unique... except when you're both being super annoying and you just can't stop fighting**.
9. **When in doubt, remember: you can always get a divorce (but it's way cheaper if you don't)**.
10. **The most important thing to know about marriage is that nobody knows what they're doing**... including the experts!
These humorous tips remind us that marriage is a beautiful journey of growth, laughter, and occasional frustration. Remember to keep things in perspective, communicate openly (mostly), and enjoy the ride!
The absurdity of terrible marriage advice can be hilarious! Here are some examples:
1. **"Just agree with everything your partner says, even if you think they're wrong. It's a small price to pay for not having to hear their voice anymore."**
2. **"Make sure to schedule regular fights and arguments to keep things interesting. It's like a sport – except the goal is to hurt each other emotionally instead of scoring points."**
3. **"Communicate by yelling at each other from different rooms in the house. It's more efficient that way, and you'll save energy on unnecessary walk-backs."**
4. **"The key to a successful marriage is pretending to listen while secretly planning your escape route. It's all about strategy."**
5. **"Never go to bed angry – unless you're really tired. In that case, just pretend like everything is fine and hope the other person doesn't notice."**
6. **"Marriage is all about compromise... except when it comes to things you actually care about. In those cases, just do what you want and blame it on your partner."**
7. **"The most important thing in a marriage is finding someone who loves you more than they hate the in-laws. Good luck with that!"**
8. **"A successful marriage requires a willingness to forgive... your partner for everything they've ever done wrong, including but not limited to: stealing the covers, leaving the toilet seat up, and eating all the pizza."**
9. **"The secret to marital bliss is pretending you're happy even when you're secretly miserable. It's like faking a smile – except it's your whole face and your entire relationship."**
10. **"Marriage is a 50/50 proposition... unless one of you has better Wi-Fi, in which case the other person should just concede and give up now."**
Remember, these are all terrible marriage advice examples and not meant to be taken seriously!
I love these! Here are some funny marriage advice one-liners:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the clubs, you just want to get back to the hearts."
2. "The secret to a happy marriage? Don't think of yourself as the 'boss' of the house. Think of yourself as the 'doorman'."
3. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but then you take turns removing pieces and hoping it doesn't all come crashing down."
4. "The key to a successful marriage? Finding someone who loves you more than pizza."
5. "Marriage is like being in a hot air balloon. You're both floating through life together, but sometimes the pilot makes an unexpected turn."
6. "The secret to a happy marriage? Having a good argument once in a while. It's like exercise for your relationship."
7. "Marriage is like playing chess with your partner. Except instead of pieces, you're moving emotions and expectations around the board."
8. "The key to a successful marriage? Being willing to admit when you're wrong... even if it takes 10 years to do so."
9. "Marriage is like being on a rollercoaster together. You both scream in terror at first, but after a while, you start to enjoy the ride."
10. "The secret to a happy marriage? Realizing that your partner is not your enemy... they're just your opponent in the game of life."
I hope these one-liners bring a smile to your face!
Here are some general wedding tips and advice that couples may find helpful:
**Pre-Wedding:**
1. **Communicate effectively**: Make sure you and your partner are on the same page regarding all aspects of the wedding planning process.
2. **Set a budget**: Decide how much you're willing to spend and stick to it to avoid financial stress.
3. **Prioritize**: Focus on what matters most to you both, whether it's having a small intimate gathering or a big celebration with friends and family.
**Wedding Planning:**
1. **Create a timeline**: Break down the planning process into manageable tasks and deadlines to ensure everything gets done on time.
2. **Make compromises**: Be willing to give in on certain aspects of the wedding that aren't as important to you, to make your partner happy.
3. **Don't stress about perfection**: Remember, it's okay if not everything goes exactly as planned. Enjoy the process and focus on what matters most – your love for each other.
**On the Big Day:**
1. **Take a deep breath**: Remember that it's just one day, and things will go wrong (but they'll also go right!). Take time to enjoy each other and the celebration.
2. **Make eye contact**: Share loving glances with your partner during the ceremony or speeches – it'll make the moment even more special.
3. **Let go of expectations**: Don't worry if not everything goes according to plan. Roll with the punches, and enjoy the experience.
**Post-Wedding:**
1. **Prioritize your marriage**: Remember that your wedding is just one day, but your marriage is a lifetime commitment. Focus on building a strong foundation for your future together.
2. **Communicate openly**: Continue communicating effectively and honestly with each other to navigate any challenges that may arise in your relationship.
3. **Plan for the future**: Discuss and plan for your financial, emotional, and practical needs as a married couple.
**Additional Tips:**
1. **Remember why you're getting married**: Reflect on what brought you two together, and let that love be the foundation of your marriage.
2. **Be present in the moment**: Focus on enjoying each other's company, rather than worrying about the future or regrets from the past.
3. **Laugh together**: Marriage is a journey, not a destination. Laugh often, and find joy in the everyday moments you share.
Remember, every couple is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. Ultimately, the most important thing is that you and your partner are happy and committed to each other.
Here are 10 "rules" for a happy marriage with a dash of humor:
1. **The Rule of Endless Laughter**: Marriage is all about laughing at each other's jokes, even if they're not that great. Bonus points if you can laugh while still rolling your eyes.
2. **The 50/50 Rule (of Sarcasm)**: If your partner says something ridiculous, respond with an equally ridiculous statement to show you're on the same page... of crazy.
3. **The Secret Ingredient**: Add a dash of silliness to every argument. For example, "You left the cap off the toothpaste again? That's like, a crime against humanity!"
4. **The Rule of Random Acts of Kindness (AKA Manipulation)**: Do nice things for your partner without them asking, and then pretend it was their idea.
5. **The Art of Compromise (a.k.a. Giving In)**: When you can't agree on what to watch on Netflix, flip a coin or just let the other person win... this time.
6. **The Law of Unintended Consequences**: Assume that everything your partner says is meant to be taken literally. For example, "I love you so much!" means "I'm going to start wearing matching pajamas and we'll watch cat videos together."
7. **The Rule of Disguised Complaining**: When your partner asks how your day was, respond with a series of complaints that are actually just compliments in disguise. ("Ugh, I had the worst day... but at least the sun was shining!")
8. **The Art of Forgetting (a.k.a. Denial)**: Agree to forget important dates, like anniversaries or birthdays, and then "accidentally" remember them at the last minute.
9. **The Power of Playful Teasing**: Make fun of your partner's quirks and habits, but only when they're not around to hear it... or so you think.
10. **The Ultimate Rule: Love Means Never Having to Say You're Sorry (for Making a Mess)**: When your partner says, "You left the dishes in the sink again," respond with, "Who, me?" and walk away whistling.
Remember, these rules are totally unscientific and not based on any actual research. But hey, they might just work for you!
Here are some funny marriage advice for her:
1. **Remember, marriage is like a game of Jenga**: You start with a solid foundation, but then you take turns removing pieces and hoping it doesn't all come crashing down.
2. **Don't worry if he leaves the toilet seat up**: It's just his way of saying, "I love you, even though I'm a little messy."
3. **Marriage is like pizza**: Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. And who doesn't love a good pie?
4. **If he forgets your birthday, just pretend it's not a big deal**: Trust me, he'll make up for it... eventually.
5. **Keep a sense of humor about the little things**: Like when he "forgets" to take out the trash (again).
6. **Marriage is like a puzzle**: Sometimes you have to force the pieces together, but in the end, it's worth it.
7. **Don't get too upset if he doesn't listen to you**: He's just practicing his "I'm not listening" face for when the kids start arguing with him.
8. **Remember, love is blind... except on Tuesdays**: That's when you'll both realize that Monday was a total write-off and Tuesday is going to be a long day.
9. **It's okay if he doesn't remember your anniversary**: Just tell him it's a "new tradition" – like how you now celebrate your anniversary every other year, or on the odd years, or...
10. **The secret to a happy marriage is not arguing over who left the cap off the toothpaste**: It's actually just not caring that much.
11. **When he leaves his dirty socks on the floor, just laugh and say, "Ah, you're trying to communicate with me through the power of stinky footwear"**
12. **Marriage is like a box of chocolates**: You never know what kind of crazy you'll get each day, but that's half the fun!
13. **If he starts snoring again, just pretend it's a new form of communication**: Like how some animals make funny noises to talk to each other.
14. **Don't worry if he doesn't take out the trash on time**: It's not like the world will end or anything... but it might get stinky in here.
15. **The key to a successful marriage is knowing when to surrender**: Like when he "accidentally" buys 10 more video games and you just shrug and say, "Okay, honey, I guess we can add those to our collection."
Remember, laughter is the best medicine, especially on those tough days!
"Communicate openly, honestly, and often."