Here are some short and funny marriage quotes:
1. "Marriage is a relationship in which two people become one, and that one is usually 'not me'."
2. "I love being married. The best is all you need to know."
3. "Marriage: Love is the reason, but also a good excuse to eat all the ice cream."
4. "The most important thing in marriage is not to keep score." - Barbara Walters
5. "I don't always agree with my spouse, but I do always agree that we're right."
6. "Marriage is the union of two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together, and that's it."
7. "What's the difference between marriage and long-term imprisonment? One has bars, the other has 'til death do us part'."
8. "I married my best friend because we laughed the same way."
9. "Marriage is a journey, not a destination. (And the destination is usually arguing over who left the dishes in the sink)."
10. "The key to marriage is to keep your partner off guard."
Marriage! The ultimate adventure in love, laughter, and occasional eye-rolling. Here are some funny marriage captions to make you chuckle:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club."
2. "I married my best friend because we're meant to be together...and also because I love getting annoyed by them on purpose"
3. "Love is blind, except when it comes to our partner's snoring. Then it's like, 'Really? This is what I'm stuck with?' "
4. "Marriage is the ultimate team effort. Except sometimes one person has to be the 'team' and the other person is just along for the ride"
5. "We're not arguing, we're just passionately expressing our points of view while completely dismissing each other's opinions"
6. "Our marriage is like a game of Jenga. We start with a solid foundation, but eventually, someone's gonna pull out the wrong block and everything comes crashing down"
7. "I love being married because it means I have a partner in crime...and also someone to blame for all our mistakes"
8. "Marriage is like driving an old car. It takes some getting used to, there are creaky parts, but eventually, you learn to appreciate the quirks"
9. "Our marriage is like a pizza – it's messy, it's cheesy, and sometimes someone has to order takeout because they're too lazy to cook"
10. "I love my spouse because they're my favorite person to make fun of...just kidding! (Or am I?)"
These captions are meant to be lighthearted and humorous, poking fun at the quirks and challenges that come with married life. Remember, marriage is a beautiful adventure, and even the silly moments can bring joy and laughter!
Here are some funny and relatable marriage quotes for newlyweds:
1. "I promise to love you even when you leave the cap off the toothpaste... most of the time."
2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying not to get divorced."
3. "I vow to always support your dreams, unless they involve a tattoo or a participation trophy."
4. "We may have started as strangers, but now we're just weirdos living together."
5. "Marriage is the ultimate team effort... until one person leaves the dirty dishes in the sink for three days."
6. "I promise to always be there for you, unless I'm on my phone or watching football."
7. "Love is the key to a happy marriage... and also Netflix, wine, and pizza."
8. "We're not arguing, we're just passionately expressing our points of view while simultaneously dismissing yours."
9. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga... except instead of blocks, it's made up of compromise, communication, and occasional screaming matches."
10. "I vow to love you even when you snore so loud I have to wear earplugs."
11. "We're not perfect, but we're perfect for each other... mostly because we're both okay with having imperfectly perfect hair."
12. "Marriage is the ultimate adventure... except instead of exploring new lands and meeting new people, it's more like trying to find the remote control and getting into petty arguments over whose turn it is to do the dishes."
13. "I promise to always support your passions... unless they involve getting a tattoo or starting a fantasy football league with our friends."
14. "We're not crazy, we just have very strong opinions about very little things... like which pizza topping is superior (pepperoni, duh)."
15. "Marriage is the ultimate partnership... except instead of dividing up tasks and responsibilities, it's more like taking turns trying to win at Mario Kart."
Remember, marriage is a beautiful adventure with its ups and downs! Wishing you a lifetime of laughter, love, and inside jokes
A great topic! Here are some short and funny pieces of marriage advice:
1. **Communicate**: Unless you want to end up like me, wondering what hit you.
2. **Laugh together**: And when one of you laughs alone, it's not because the other person is funny, but because they're secretly laughing at you.
3. **Don't go to bed angry**: Unless you're really tired and just need a nap. In that case, go ahead and seethe in silence.
4. **Compromise**: Like who gets to control the remote. Or whose fault it is when the toilet seat is left up. Or whose turn it is to do the dishes.
5. **Love is patient**: Unless you're playing video games and someone steals your controller. Then love turns into rage.
6. **Marriage is a journey**: And sometimes that journey takes you to the in-laws' house for Sunday dinner. Buckle up, folks!
7. **Don't forget to argue**: A little disagreement every now and then keeps things interesting. Like when you both want to watch different TV shows, but one of you insists it's "quality time" if you just agree to watch whatever they want.
8. **Be kind to each other**: Unless you're trying to get out of doing the dishes. Then be ruthless.
9. **Marriage is a team effort**: Like when you both try to sneak up on the cat and scare the living daylights out of it, only to have the cat turn around and give you both a disdainful look.
10. **And finally...**: Love each other, even when one of you leaves the cap off the toothpaste.
Here are some funny one-liners for marriage advice:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of there."
2. "The key to a happy marriage is finding someone who is more messed up than you are."
3. "I love being married. The best thing about it is I don't have to say 'I'm going to bed' when I'm leaving my friend's house."
4. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, and then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
5. "The secret to marriage is to never go to bed angry... unless one of you has control of the TV remote."
6. "I'm not saying I love my wife more than I love pizza, but I do have a plan in place for when she leaves me."
7. "Marriage is like riding a bike. You start with training wheels, then lose them and hope for the best."
8. "The best way to keep your marriage healthy is to never make any major decisions after 2am."
9. "The key to a successful marriage is finding someone who makes you laugh... and also someone who will help you move when you're too lazy to do it yourself."
10. "I've been married for three years, and I'm starting to think that 'until death do us part' really means until one of us runs out of Netflix shows to watch."
11. "The secret to a happy marriage is not to take yourself too seriously... or your spouse will get bored and start watching cat videos on YouTube."
12. "Marriage is like being in a band. You're stuck with the same people, arguing over the same songs, but somehow you still manage to have fun and make beautiful music together."
13. "The best way to keep your marriage exciting is to never stop dating... or at least pretend to remember what the date was for when it's your anniversary."
14. "I love being married because I get to spend my life with someone who loves me even though I leave the cap off the toothpaste 90% of the time."
15. "The key to a successful marriage is finding someone who is willing to help you clean up the messes... and also to help you make more messes in the first place."
Here are some short and funny marriage quotes that you can use to celebrate your husband:
1. "I love being married. The sex is great, but the arguments are better."
2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the ups and downs, you just have a pile of club cards."
3. "Husband: Because one person can hold your hand for so long, but two people can make a mess that takes weeks to clean up."
4. "I love how my husband makes me laugh, even when I'm trying not to. Especially when I'm trying not to."
5. "Marriage is like driving through mountains. Sometimes you get stuck in the mud, but sometimes you hit the jackpot and find a beautiful view."
6. "Why did we get married? Because it's better than just living together and getting all the benefits of marriage without being married."
7. "Husband: The ultimate partner in crime. He'll steal your heart, your socks, and even your last slice of pizza."
8. "Marriage is like building a house. You start with a strong foundation (love), then you add walls (trust), and finally, you put on the roof (communication)."
9. "I love how my husband can make me feel like I'm the only person in the world. Except when he's playing video games."
10. "Marriage is not about finding someone who is perfect for you. It's about finding someone who loves you just as you are, imperfections and all."
11. "Husband: The guy who always knows how to make me laugh, even on my worst days. Especially on my worst days."
12. "I love how my husband can make a mess in the kitchen and then blame it on the dog."
Remember, these quotes are meant to be light-hearted and playful, so don't take them too seriously!
Here are some marriage funny quotes that you can share with your partner:
1. "I love being married. The only thing I'm worried about is, what's the deal with the in-laws? Just kidding... sort of."
2. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after 10 years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of there."
3. "I love how we can make fun of each other's weird habits and still manage to love each other."
4. "Marriage is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you're in trouble."
5. "Why do people say 'it's the little things that count'? The big things are what count! Like Netflix, food delivery, and not having to do laundry."
6. "I love how marriage makes us grow as individuals... or at least makes us realize we're already too old to change."
7. "Marriage is like being in a band together. Except instead of making music, you make each other crazy."
8. "What I love most about marriage is that it's not just about finding someone who loves you for who you are; it's about finding someone who also loves your weird stuff and will even join in on the fun."
9. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with this beautiful structure, and then you take turns removing pieces until suddenly the whole thing comes crashing down... but then you rebuild it again because that's what love is all about."
10. "I love how marriage makes us stronger... except when we're tired or hangry. Then we're just two weak humans who need a nap and some snacks."
11. "Marriage is like having a permanent sleepover with your best friend, but instead of doing crafts and eating pizza, you do laundry and argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes."
12. "What I love most about marriage is that it's not just about finding someone who loves you; it's about finding someone who also loves your weird pets and will even help take care of them when they're being ridiculous."
Remember to keep it light-hearted and playful, and to tailor the quotes to your partner's sense of humor!
The good ol' days! Here are some humorous takes on classic marriage advice:
1. **Don't say "honey" too much**: Your partner might start to think you're sweet-talking them into doing chores.
2. **Communication is key**: Unless it's 3 AM and one of you needs to use the bathroom. Then, just point to the door.
3. **Compromise**: That means agreeing to watch your spouse's favorite rom-com... but only if they agree to watch your favorite sports game (even if you don't really understand the rules).
4. **Never go to bed angry**: Unless you're tired and want to sleep in. Then, it's okay to pretend you didn't mean that snide comment.
5. **Laughter is the best medicine**: Unless one of you has a stomach virus. In that case, actual medicine might be better.
6. **Don't nag (too much)**: A little gentle prodding can go a long way... but remember, too many reminders can turn your partner into a zombie.
7. **Show appreciation**: Like when your spouse does the dishes without being asked (even though they probably should have been asked).
8. **Remember the little things**: Like that one time you surprised them with their favorite food for lunch. Yeah, that was nice of you...
9. **It's okay to argue**: As long as it's not during a romantic dinner or while watching your favorite TV show.
10. **Love means never having to say 'you're right'**: But if you do have to admit defeat, just pretend it was a clever strategy all along.
Remember, these are just jokes! Real marriage advice is... well, that's a whole different story