A great topic! Here are some short, funny marriage quotes that newlyweds might enjoy:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club."
2. "I love you more than pizza, and that's a lot because I really love pizza."
3. "We're not perfect, but together we're perfect-ish."
4. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, and then you take turns removing pieces until it all comes crashing down."
5. "I promise to love you even when you leave the cap off the toothpaste... most of the time."
6. "We're not arguing, we're just passionately expressing our points of view while completely dismissing yours."
7. "Marriage is like a box of chocolates – sometimes it's sweet, and other times it's a bunch of weird, awkward moments that you'll laugh about later."
8. "You're stuck with me now, but don't worry, I'm pretty cool... most of the time."
9. "Our love is like a fine wine – it only gets better with age, and also more expensive because we'll be buying each other dinner for the rest of our lives."
10. "Marriage is all about compromise. For example, I'll let you control the TV remote if you let me control the snacks."
11. "I love you more than my phone, and that's saying a lot because I'm on it 24/7."
12. "We're not arguing, we're just having a healthy debate... about who left the dishes in the sink."
13. "Marriage is like being stuck in an elevator with someone – except when you get out, you have to live with them for the rest of your life."
14. "I promise to always be honest with you, even if it's just to say that I love you even though you snore really loudly."
15. "Our love is like a snowflake – delicate, beautiful, and also completely useless as a means of survival."
These quotes poke fun at the ups and downs of marriage in a lighthearted way, reminding newlyweds that it's okay to laugh at the absurdities and challenges that come with married life.
The wisdom of hindsight! Here are some humorous tips for newlyweds:
1. **Marriage is like a game of Jenga**: Take turns removing pieces (i.e., responsibilities, expectations) until the whole thing collapses. Just kidding... or am I?
2. **Communication is key**: Unless you're trying to avoid an argument, in which case, just pretend you didn't hear each other.
3. **Never go to bed angry**: Unless one of you has a meeting at 6 AM and the other is still up watching cat videos on YouTube. In that case, just grumble and roll over.
4. **Love is patient, love is kind... but also loves to mock your partner's weird habits**: Just don't do it when they're trying to sleep.
5. **You will argue about stupid things**: Like who left the cap off the toothpaste or whose turn it is to do dishes. It's not a reflection of your love for each other; it's just a natural part of the human experience... or so you'll tell yourself after the 12th time this week.
6. **Trust issues are normal**: Unless one of you has been secretly training for the Olympics in the art of hiding snacks and not sharing them with your partner. In that case, there may be a problem.
7. **Marriage is like a rollercoaster**: It's scary at first, but then you start to enjoy the ups and downs (mostly just the upswings). And if it crashes, don't worry; there are safety nets... or at least a therapist nearby.
8. **Don't say 'I'm not arguing'**: When one of you says this, it's like saying "I'm not breathing." It's physically impossible to not argue when someone is arguing.
9. **Intimacy is important**: Unless one of you has just eaten a massive meal and the other is still recovering from the food coma. In that case, maybe just cuddle and promise to order takeout tomorrow.
10. **Never underestimate the power of a good joke**: Laughter can diffuse even the most tense situations... or at least distract from them until the next argument comes along.
Remember, marriage is a journey (with occasional detours into crazy town). With love, humor, and a willingness to laugh at yourselves, you'll make it through – even when things get weird.
A great request! Here are some short, funny, and playful marriage quotes for your husband:
1. "I married you because you're the peanut butter to my jelly, the Merlot to my pizza night."
2. "You're stuck with me now, but I promise not to be a nag... most of the time."
3. "You're the MacGyver of marriage. You can fix anything (except my temper)."
4. "I love you more than coffee in the morning, and that's saying something!"
5. "We're a match made in heaven, or at least in the couch potato section of the TV guide."
6. "You're my favorite person to share a bed with... and also to share a beer with."
7. "Our love is like a good joke – it gets better with age, and sometimes I still don't get it."
8. "I'm not saying you're old, but we've been married so long, our wedding day feels like ancient history."
9. "You're the best thing since sliced bread... or in my case, since microwaveable popcorn."
10. "We may not have a perfect marriage, but we have a perfect love – and that's what matters (mostly)."
11. "I married you because you make me laugh, even when I'm being ridiculous. And also because you're really good at fixing things."
12. "Our marriage is like a work of art – sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's beautiful, but always interesting."
Remember to keep them light-hearted and playful, as humor can be subjective!
Congratulations to the newlyweds! Here are some funny and loving marriage quotes to make them laugh, smile, and cherish their special bond:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but over time you get a bunch of clubs and spades." - Unknown
2. "I love being married. The divorce rate must be high because married people are running out of things to talk about." - Rita Rudner
3. "Marriage is not just about loving someone; it's also about making them laugh when they're tired, hungry, or cranky." - Unknown
4. "We didn't have money for a honeymoon, so we just kept the reception going all night." - Unknown
5. "Love is blind, but marriage is an eye-opener." - Unknown
6. "Marriage is the union of two people who can no longer bear each other's company, but don't dare get divorced because they still have credit card debt to pay off." - Unknown
7. "A successful marriage requires falling in love repeatedly, with the same person." - David Novak
8. "The secret to a happy marriage is finding someone you love more than ice cream." - Unknown
9. "Marriage is not about being together all the time; it's about being together when you're not." - Unknown
10. "After 40 years of marriage, I have finally learned that a happy marriage is about equal parts laughter and silence." - Unknown
11. "In marriage, every day is Valentine's Day if you make it." - Unknown
12. "A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individual partners, while allowing them to remain each other's home." - Unknown
13. "The biggest mistake we can make is to think that marriage is a way of getting something for nothing." - Unknown
14. "Marriage is like a walk in the park – Jurassic Park." - Unknown
15. "Love and marriage have so little to do with each other that it would be better if they never had anything to do with each other at all." - Robert Frost
Remember, laughter is an essential ingredient in a happy marriage!
Here are some short and funny marriage quotes that you can use to make your wife smile:
1. "You're a-maze-ing!"
2. "I love being married to my best friend, even if it's not always easy."
3. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the shuffling, dealing, and betting, there are still only two hearts left in the deck."
4. "Wife: The one person who can make me laugh even on my worst day."
5. "Marriage is like a game of Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but then you take turns pulling out pieces and hoping it doesn't all come crashing down."
6. "My wife is the reason I get to say 'I'm a lucky man' every day."
7. "Love is blind, but marriage gives you a chance to see if you really like each other."
8. "Marriage: When two people are stuck together for life, and they're both secretly hoping the other person will break free."
9. "Wife: The one person who can make me feel like I'm home, even when we're not at home."
10. "I love my wife more than words can express, but I'll try to find some anyway: 'You're amazing, beautiful, and the best thing that's ever happened to me.'"
11. "Marriage is a journey, not a destination. And if you think the destination is just to get married, then you're missing the point."
12. "My wife is my rock, my partner in crime, and my favorite person to make fun of together."
13. "Love is like a rollercoaster ride. You start with excitement, then there are ups and downs, but in the end, it's still a thrill."
14. "Wife: The one person who can make me feel like I'm not crazy, even when I know I am."
15. "Marriage is when you get to love someone so much that you're willing to put up with them being annoying just because they're your spouse."
Remember, the most important thing is to speak from your heart and be genuine in your words. Your wife will appreciate the thought and humor behind these quotes!
Here are some short, funny, and clever one-liners for marriage advice:
1. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after going through all the clubs, you're left holding just a bunch of spades."
2. "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, especially after waking up in the morning."
3. "The secret to a happy marriage is to be willing to apologize for your own mistakes and blame everything else on the dog."
4. "Marriage is like a puzzle. Sometimes you need to force some pieces together that don't quite fit, but it's still worth it in the end."
5. "Love is all about the little things... like not leaving the toilet seat up and pretending to enjoy her cooking."
6. "The key to a happy marriage is to never go to bed angry... unless you're really tired. Then just go to bed."
7. "Marriage is an adventure, but sometimes it's more like a scavenger hunt for matching socks."
8. "A successful marriage is about finding someone who loves you for who you are, and then trying to change them into something you can tolerate."
9. "The most important thing in a marriage is not being the one who has to explain why the garage door is still open at 3 am."
10. "Marriage is like playing Jenga. You start with a solid foundation, but eventually, someone's gonna make a mistake and it all comes crashing down... then you get to rebuild and do it all again."
11. "The secret to a happy marriage is to have a good sense of humor and a willingness to pretend your spouse is right... most of the time."
12. "Marriage is an investment in happiness, but sometimes you need to cash out and use the money for therapy."
Remember, these one-liners are meant to be humorous and not taken seriously. Marriage is a beautiful journey, and every couple has their own unique challenges and triumphs!
Marriage and humor - a perfect blend! Here are some marriage funny quotes to bring a smile:
1. "Marriage is a word, love is the thing." - Ambrose Redmoon
2. "I love being married. The only thing I don't like about it is having to make decisions with someone else's permission." - LeVar Burton
3. "A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers." - Robert Quillen
4. "Marriage is like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park." - Robin Williams
5. "I love my wife, and I know she loves me, but we're too old for this nonsense." - James Taylor
6. "Why buy an expensive ring when you can have a beautiful life?" - Anonymous
7. "Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It's more like 30-70 or 40-60, and the other person doesn't even know what they're giving up." - Jerry Seinfeld
8. "I was married by a judge. He asked us if we took each other for better or for worse, and I said, 'Worse'!" - Henny Youngman
9. "Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start with two hearts and a diamond, but after a few years, you're just trying to find the club that will get you out of there." - Unknown
10. "I love my wife's smile. I must have married her for her smile, because it wasn't her looks that got me!" - Unknown
11. "Marriage is an excellent institution, but not necessarily for everyone." - James Cardwell
12. "We were so happy, we took up eight pages in the phone book." - Anonymous
13. "The way to get along well with your wife is never to mind when she's wrong; and always to remember when you're wrong." - Unknown
14. "Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." - Unknown
15. "I love my wife, but I also love her more than I love myself, and that's the secret of a successful marriage." - Unknown
Remember, humor in marriage is all about embracing the imperfections and laughter together!
Here are some humorous examples of terrible marriage advice:
1. "Just agree with everything your spouse says, even if you think they're wrong. It's easier that way."
2. "When your partner does something annoying, just pretend like it's cute and laugh along with them. Who cares about reality?"
3. "If you can't remember the anniversary, just tell them it's not a big deal because it's not like it's their birthday or anything."
4. "Marriage is all about compromise. So, if your partner wants to watch TV all day, just do it too. You can always catch up on work later...or never."
5. "If you're feeling stressed out, just yell at your spouse and tell them they're not doing enough around the house. That'll fix everything."
6. "Don't bother with romance. Just give your partner a participation trophy and call it a day. They'll be grateful for the effort, right?"
7. "When your partner leaves the cap off the toothpaste or puts the dirty dishes in the sink, just shrug and say 'oh well.' It's not like it's going to kill you."
8. "Marriage is all about finding someone who is okay with your quirks. So, if your partner loves video games more than they love you, that's fine! You can just play together and forget about the rest of the world."
9. "If you're feeling overwhelmed, just tell your spouse to get off your back already. They're probably bothering you too much anyway."
10. "When your partner asks for a divorce, just say 'no way, we're good!' and hope they don't notice that you've been ignoring them for the past three years."
Remember, these are all jokes! Marriage is hard work, but with love, respect, and communication (and maybe some actual advice from experts), it can be an incredible journey.