Laugh Out Loud: The Best New Girl Quotes That Will Make You Love the Show Even More!

12/25/2024

Funny new girl quotes short


Here are some funny New Girl quotes:

1. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Jess
2. "Schmidt happens!" - Schmidt
3. "The only thing more exhausting than being around you is the thought of trying to be around you." - Nick
4. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! We're not gonna make out right now! We're just gonna... sit here and think about making out." - Jess
5. "I'm a professional at finding weirdos. It's my superpower." - Schmidt
6. "You're not a bad person, Nick. You're just a really, really bad person." - Schmidt
7. "I'm a master of the art of doing nothing. It's a skill I've honed over years of avoiding human interaction." - Nick
8. "If you're not first, you're last!" - Schmidt (parodying Ricky Bobby from Talladega Nights)
9. "That's not how it works! You can't just be friends with someone and then suddenly make out with them!" - Jess
10. "I'm a 30-year-old man who still lives in his grandmother's attic. I'm basically the human version of a raccoon." - Nick


Funny new girl quotes reddit


A great topic!

Here are some funny New Girl quotes that you might enjoy:

1. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Jess
2. " Schmidt's gonna be like, 'What's the worst that could happen?' And then something terrible will happen." - Nick
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Schmidt
4. "The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'yes' to people you don't love. And no, it doesn't include your mom." - Jess
5. "When you're a baker, every day is a celebration... of bread." - Winston
6. "You can't have a party without a party pooper. It's like having a cake without the icing... or the cake... for that matter." - Schmidt
7. "If I'm being honest with myself, I think I'm just trying to get over you by getting under someone else." - Jess (about Sam)
8. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy. Like a sloth. Or a hamster on a wheel." - Nick
9. "The only thing more exhausting than being in love is pretending to be in love." - Schmidt
10. "If you're going to lie, at least make it an interesting lie. Like 'I'm secretly a prince' or 'I have a pet monkey.'" - Winston

And here are some funny New Girl quotes from Reddit:

1. "Schmidt's ego is so big, he needs a forklift to lift it up." (Source: r/NewGirl)
2. "Nick's face is like the Mona Lisa... if the Mona Lisa had acne and a perpetual scowl." (Source: r/NewGirl)
3. "Jess's love life is like a bad sitcom – you can't look away, but you wish someone would write it off as a tax deduction." (Source: r/NewGirl)
4. "Schmidt's personality is 90% confidence and 10% actual ability. The rest is just filler." (Source: r/NewGirl)
5. "Winston's advice is like a participation trophy – he shows up, you get a prize!" (Source: r/NewGirl)

These quotes capture the show's lighthearted humor, quirky characters, and relatable moments of awkwardness. Do you have a favorite New Girl quote?


Funny new girl quotes about life


I've got some hilarious ones for you!

Here are some funny New Girl quotes about life:

1. "I'm a vegetarian because I love animals. You know, they're my friends." - Jess (Season 2, Episode 14)
2. "Why do we have to make decisions? Can't we just wing it and hope for the best?" - Schmidt (Season 3, Episode 12)
3. "I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'when-I-need-to-be' person." - Jess (Season 1, Episode 2)
4. "The key to life is not to figure out what you want to do, but what you don't want to do." - Nick (Season 2, Episode 16)
5. "I'm not a control freak, I just like to have a plan... and then stick to it... and then get upset when things don't go according to plan." - Schmidt (Season 1, Episode 10)
6. "Life is short, but that doesn't mean we can't waste it on silly things... like relationships and careers." - Jess (Season 2, Episode 15)
7. "What's the point of having a 'bucket list' if you're just going to do all the stuff on it?" - Winston (Season 3, Episode 11)
8. "I'm not saying I'm lazy, but I once slept for 12 hours and then took an hour-long nap." - Schmidt (Season 2, Episode 13)
9. "The most important thing in life is to stop saying 'no' and start saying 'yes... sometimes'." - Jess (Season 1, Episode 14)
10. "What's the difference between a grown-up and a kid? One of them can buy beer." - Nick (Season 2, Episode 17)

These quotes capture some of the show's lighthearted humor and quirky perspectives on life. I hope you enjoy them!


New Girl quotes for Instagram


New Girl is a hilarious show with plenty of quotable moments. Here are some popular and funny New Girl quotes that you can use for your Instagram posts:

**Nick's grumpy comments**

1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy." #NewGirl
2. "What's the point of even having a good time if it's going to end?" #GrumpyNick
3. "I don't want to be friends with anyone who doesn't like dogs." #DogLover

**Jess's quirky sayings**

1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." #JessLogic
2. "I'm a professional at making poor life choices." #NewGirlProbs
3. "You're the peanut butter to my jelly." #Besties

**Schmidt's egocentric remarks**

1. "I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person... I'm an afternoon person." #SchmidtRules
2. "I'm a catch. I just haven't been caught yet." #EgoBoost
3. "My hair is so good today, it's like it's giving me a hug." #SchmidtConfidence

**Winston's sarcastic one-liners**

1. "Wow, you're really crushing the whole 'adulting' thing, aren't you?" #SarcasmKing
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like my phone." #LazyWinston
3. "You're so predictable, it's like you have a permanent participation trophy in life." #WinstonWisdom

**Cece's sassy remarks**

1. "If you can't handle the heat, stay out of my kitchen... or just eat takeout." #SassyCece
2. "I'm not bossy, I'm just confident. There's a difference." #BossLady
3. "You're so extra, it's like you're trying to make up for something." #CeceSass

**Other fun quotes**

1. "True love is like pie - it's worth the risk of getting burned." #NewGirlWisdom
2. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." #JessConfusion
3. "It's not that we're lazy, it's just that we're highly motivated to do nothing." #LazyRoomies

Feel free to use these quotes as inspiration for your Instagram posts!


Funny New Girl quotes Schmidt


Schmidt's one-liners are some of the best parts of New Girl! Here are some funny quotes from Schmidt:

1. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." (Season 1, Episode 2)
2. "It's like you're trying to steal my spotlight... with your mediocrity." (Season 1, Episode 5)
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." (Season 1, Episode 6)
4. "If you were a pizza, you'd be a Hawaiian pizza - boring and unoriginal." (Season 2, Episode 11)
5. "I'm not a control freak, I'm a 'responsible person who wants things done correctly'." (Season 3, Episode 1)
6. "You're like the human version of a participation trophy. You show up, you try your best, and then everyone's all, 'Good job, kid!'" (Season 4, Episode 5)
7. "I'm not a narcissist, I'm just... enthusiastic about myself." (Season 5, Episode 15)
8. "I don't want to be a part of this group anymore. I want to start my own group: 'Schmidt and His Adoring Fans'." (Season 6, Episode 12)

These are just a few examples, but Schmidt's witty one-liners and ridiculous statements are a staple of the show!


New Girl quotes about friendship


New Girl has plenty of hilarious and heartwarming moments when it comes to friendships! Here are some memorable quotes:

1. "You're my person." - Jess (Zooey Deschanel)
Jess's iconic phrase to describe her close bond with Cece (Hannah Simone) is a beautiful representation of female friendship.
2. "We're not friends, we're roommates. Roommates who love each other." - Schmidt (Max Greenfield)
Schmidt's attempt to downplay the level of his friendships with the gang, while still acknowledging their importance, is comedic gold.
3. "I'm not saying I love you guys more than I love myself... but..." - Jess
This quote highlights the absurdity and sincerity of Jess's devotion to her friends.
4. "Nick, can we talk about something? Can we talk about how much I care about you?" - Schmidt
Schmidt's unrequited love for Nick (Jake Johnson) is a running joke throughout the series, but this quote showcases his genuine affection for his friend.
5. "We're not just roommates, we're a family... of misfits." - Winston (Lamorne Morris)
Winston's declaration emphasizes the importance of the gang's quirky dynamic and their ability to find acceptance within each other's imperfections.
6. "You guys are my favorite people in the whole world. And I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true." - Jess
This quote demonstrates Jess's sincerity and appreciation for her friends, making it a beautiful representation of friendship.
7. "I love you guys, but sometimes you're really annoying." - Cece
Cece's brutal honesty about her friends' quirks is relatable to anyone who's ever had a close-knit group of friends.

These quotes capture the essence of New Girl's portrayal of friendships: they're imperfect, absurd, and ultimately, incredibly valuable.


Best New Girl quotes


Best New Girl quotes! Here are some of the most popular and iconic ones:

1. **"Schmidt happens."** - Schmidt (Max Greenfield)
2. **"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."** - Jess (Zooey Deschanel)
3. **"True American is not just a drink, it's a way of life."** - Nick (Jake Johnson)
4. **"Cool beans!"** - Schmidt
5. **"I don't want to be a part of this any more than I already am."** - Jess
6. **"You're not crazy, you're just really enthusiastic about being normal."** - Winston (Lamorne Morris)
7. **"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."** - Schmidt
8. **"We're not a family, we're a support group... for people who have terrible life choices."** - Jess
9. **"If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, don't say it at all. Unless it's true, then just go ahead and say it."** - Schmidt
10. **"I'm not a morning person. I'm not a night person. I'm an 'I'll get around to it eventually' person."** - Jess

These quotes capture the show's humor, wit, and heart, don't they?


Short New Girl quotes


I love "New Girl" too!

Here are some short but memorable quotes from the show:

1. "Schmidt happens." - Schmidt
2. "True American, baby!" - Nick
3. "Cool. I'm cool." - Jess
4. "That's what she said..." - Schmidt (his go-to catchphrase)
5. "I don't know how to adult." - Jess
6. "Treat yo' self!" - Schmidt and Winston (their shared catchphrase)
7. "This is my friend, Nick. He's a bartender. And also an expert in the art of doing nothing." - Jess
8. "The ceiling is made of clouds." - Winston
9. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Schmidt

These quotes capture some of the show's humor, wit, and quirky characters. Do you have a favorite character or quote from "New Girl"?