very short funny quotes
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
"I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome."
"Common sense is like deodorant; those who need it most never use it."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
funny quotes in urdu
The worst thing in the world is a wife's mobile bill.
Getting married is like trading the comfort of your home for the chaos of another.
I told my friend life is like a box of chocolates, but he said it's more like a bag of vegetables—mostly disappointing.
In Pakistan, traffic is so bad that even the pigeons are honking.
Why worry about tomorrow? Today has enough problems, and yesterday was a disaster too.
funny quotes hindi
If life gives you lemons, make nimbu pani and sell it on the street for profit.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right – in Hindi, we'd call it "vichar vitaran."
Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like my last family gathering.
A balanced diet is a ladoo in each hand.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised, like in a Bollywood plot twist.
Don't trust atoms; they make up everything, even the excuses I give my boss in the office.
funny crazy quotes
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"Why be normal when you can be extraordinary and wear a cape to the grocery store?"
"I put the 'fun' in funeral by telling jokes at inappropriate times."
"If you think you're crazy, just remember, somewhere there's a fish that dreams of walking on land."
"My doctor said I need to watch what I eat, so I got a TV for the kitchen."
"I'm not a complete idiot—some parts are missing."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads."
"Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts."
"Life is like a box of chocolates—mostly disappointing if you're on a diet."
very short funny quotes about life
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it's full of nuts.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Age is just a number. Unless you're a wine.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right.
clever funny quotes
"I can resist everything except temptation." – Oscar Wilde
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." – Groucho Marx
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets." – Al McGuire
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." – Groucho Marx
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"The road to success is always under construction." – Lily Tomlin
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
funny quotes in english
"I am not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." - Groucho Marx
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by." - Douglas Adams
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back." - Oscar Wilde
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving definitely isn't for you." - Steven Wright
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Unknown
funny quotes for friends
A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
Friends don't let friends do stupid things alone.
I like you because you join in on my weirdness.
We're more like a really small gang with big laughs.
Good friends offer advice; best friends say, "That was hilarious, let's do it again."
If you have crazy friends, you have everything.
Friendship is like WiFi—it's invisible, but you know when it's got a good connection.
You don't have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps.