I'd love to share some funny and crazy quotes with you!
Here are a few:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Crazy people think they're sane. Sane people know they're crazy. That's the difference." - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
4. "Life is like a pizza delivery guy – it's all about the journey, not the destination." - Unknown
5. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
7. "Crazy is a term used by people who can't handle the truth." - Unknown
8. "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space." - Unknown
9. "I don't always make good decisions, but when I do, it's usually by accident." - Unknown
10. "The only thing more exhausting than chasing my dreams is explaining why I'm not chasing them." - Unknown
And here are a few more to drive you crazy:
1. "Don't worry if you're not the best at something – just pretend you're a genius and nobody will notice." - Unknown
2. "My therapist says I have a lot of 'anger issues.' I think he's just mad because I won't give him a referral fee." - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on a permanent holiday from adulting." - Unknown
4. "The only thing I'm addicted to is my phone – and that's a problem for my phone, not me." - Unknown
5. "Life hack: When someone asks you how your day was, just say 'it was a real challenge.' They'll think you're being funny and won't ask follow-up questions." - Unknown
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
I've got a few!
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except the box top has no picture and you're pretty sure you ate the instructions."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "Adulting is hard, but at least we have Netflix to pretend we're still 16."
4. "Life is short, but that's what makes the snacks so good."
5. "Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill."
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right... and also winning."
7. "Life hack: When in doubt, add more coffee."
8. "My life motto: 'Don't worry, be crappy.'"
9. "I'm not a morning person. In fact, I'm not really a person until after noon."
10. "What's the point of being an adult if you can't have pizza for breakfast?"
11. "Life is like a game of Jenga: you never know when it's all going to come crashing down."
12. "My superpower is being able to eat an entire pizza by myself without feeling guilty."
Hope these short and funny quotes about life bring a smile to your face!
I've got a treasure trove of sarcastic funny quotes on life for you!
1. "Life is like a box of chocolates: it's full of surprises, most of which are going to make you want to scream."
2. "Adulting is just pretending to be an adult until you realize you're actually still a kid playing at being grown up."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
4. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But first, make sure you have the right kind of cups and a decent recipe, or it'll all be for nothing."
5. "The only thing more exhausting than being an adult is pretending to be one when you're actually just a kid playing at being grown up."
6. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
7. "Life is like a puzzle: sometimes the pieces fit together perfectly, and sometimes they don't, but either way, it's still a puzzle."
8. "When people ask me what my superpower is, I say 'the ability to make eye contact with the cashier without freaking out about how much I hate shopping'."
9. "The only thing more annoying than being an adult is pretending to be one when you're actually just a kid playing at being grown up."
10. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours. There's a difference... right?"
11. "Life is like a game of Jenga: sometimes you remove the wrong block and the whole thing comes crashing down, but when you do it right, it's all fun and games."
12. "When people ask me what I'm doing with my life, I say 'trying not to completely ruin everything'."
13. "The only thing more confusing than being an adult is pretending to be one when you're actually just a kid playing at being grown up."
14. "I'm not procrastinating, I'm just letting the universe decide what's most important. Priorities, you know?"
15. "Life is like a never-ending loop of Netflix shows: sometimes you get stuck on something mediocre, but occasionally you stumble upon something amazing and it all pays off."
And there you have it – sarcastic funny quotes on life to make you laugh, nod your head in agreement, or both!
I've got a treasure trove of extremely funny quotes for you! Here are some that'll make you LOL:
1. **I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.** - Steve Martin
2. **Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.** - Unknown
3. **What's the difference between a hippie and a poser? One has a good time; the other is full of it.** - George Carlin
4. **I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference.** - Unknown
5. **I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference.** - Mitch Hedberg
6. **Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up!** - Unknown
7. **I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.** - Unknown
8. **What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.** - Unknown
9. **Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! (get it?)** - Unknown
10. **I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications.** - Unknown
11. **Why don't bicycles stand up by themselves? They're two-tired!** - Unknown
12. **What's the best way to remember your wedding vows? Write them down and hide them from your wife.** - Unknown
13. **I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours.** - Unknown
14. **Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged!** - Unknown
15. **What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!** - Unknown
I hope these quotes made your day brighter and put a big smile on your face!
I've got some hilarious ones for you!
1. "Life is like a puzzle, except the pieces are all weirdly shaped and sometimes they don't even fit together."
2. "Adulting is hard, but at least I can pretend I'm still in high school by playing video games until 3 am."
3. "Why do grown-ups get to eat ice cream for breakfast? Is it because we're secretly 12-year-olds trapped in adult bodies?"
4. "I've decided to start carrying a spare set of batteries with me at all times, just in case I need them... or my sanity."
5. "Life hack: When you're feeling overwhelmed, just remember that everyone else is struggling too – except maybe the Kardashians."
6. "Why do we even have alarm clocks? Is it to make sure we start each day off with a sense of dread and anxiety?"
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for more important things... like binge-watching Netflix."
8. "What's the difference between a hangover and being 30 again? One involves whiskey, and the other involves reality."
9. "The best way to get over your fears is to face them head-on – or at least, that's what I tell myself as I'm hiding under my bed."
10. "Why do we spend so much time trying to perfect our appearances when we're just going to end up looking like a tired, stressed-out human being anyway?"
11. "What's the deal with adulting? Can't we just have a never-ending supply of Goldfish crackers and video games instead?"
12. "Life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book – except sometimes you don't get to choose, and that's when things start getting really weird."
13. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right – which is basically the same thing, but with more shouting."
14. "Why do we have to grow up? Can't we just stay in elementary school where recess is an actual thing?"
15. "What's the point of having a 401k if you're just going to spend it all on cat food and video games?"
I hope these quotes made you LOL (and maybe even nod your head in solidarity)!
I've got a treasure trove of short, funny, and motivational quotes for you! Here are some:
1. "Believe you can, and you're halfway there." - But actually, just get up and try, because that's the real half.
2. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - Unless your goal is to still be cool, in which case, you might be out of luck.
3. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Or, you know, just throw your hands up and yell 'WHY ME?!'
4. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." - Unless you're playing pool, then just drink more beer.
5. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does." - Keep moving, because time is flying by...or at least that's what I tell myself when I'm procrastinating.
6. "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Or, you know, you could just give up and go home, but where's the fun in that?
7. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." - Unless you're already great, in which case, you should probably just coast on your greatness.
8. "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Or, as my grandma would say, 'Get back up, you clumsy oaf!'
9. "Do something today that your future self will thank you for." - Like, I don't know, eating a salad or taking out the trash.
10. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Or, in other words, 'I'll start tomorrow...or next week...or maybe never.'
I hope these quotes give you a chuckle and a boost of motivation!
I've got a treasure trove of clever and funny quotes for you! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
2. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't make a difference."
3. "Warning: what you're about to read may contain sarcasm, irony, or other forms of intellectual dishonesty."
4. "My therapist says I have a 'fear of missing out' – which is ironic, since I'm not actually missing anything."
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone."
6. "Don't talk to me about 'finding yourself.' I've already lost myself and it was a real pain in the neck."
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
8. "The only thing more exhausting than talking is listening."
9. "What's the difference between a nerd and a genius? One uses their powers for good; the other uses theirs to win at Dungeons & Dragons."
10. "I don't have 'anger issues' – I just have very strong opinions about everything, including my anger issues."
11. "The best way to get over someone is to get under them. Then you'll be too busy to think about it."
12. "My love life is like a bad joke – it's always ending in disaster."
13. "I'm not arguing with you; I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference... or so I keep telling myself."
14. "What's the difference between a cat and a dog? One will lick your face when you're drunk, and the other won't – but will still wag its tail to get attention."
15. "I don't have 'self-esteem' issues; I just have low expectations for everyone else."
Hope these quotes brought a smile (and maybe even a chuckle) to your face!
I've got some "adulting" humor to share with you!
Here are some funny sayings for adults:
1. **Wine, not dine**: Because sometimes a good glass of wine is the only thing that gets me through.
2. **Adulting is hard, but so is being a kid**: It's all about the struggle, right?
3. **I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy (for Netflix)**: Priorities!
4. **My therapist says I'm making progress... but my bank account says otherwise**: Adulting can be expensive, folks!
5. **Caffeine fueled and slightly bitter**: The perfect combo for a morning pick-me-up.
6. **Procrastination is my superpower**: Because who needs deadlines, anyway?
7. **My social life consists of: Netflix, pizza, and existential crises**: Same here, friend!
8. **If I had a dollar for every time I said 'I'll just check one more thing on my phone', I'd have at least $10**: Same problem, different day.
9. **I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right**: Adulting can be tough, but at least we're all in this together!
10. **My adulting skills are rusty, but my excuses are top-notch**: Silver linings, am I right?
11. **Why adult when you can just wing it and hope for the best?**: Just another day in the life of an adult!
12. **I've decided to start calling myself 'semi-adult' instead of 'adult'**: It's a work in progress, folks!
Share your favorite "adulting" humor with me!