Here are some short and funny New Year's resolution quotes:
1. "I resolve to eat one less cookie per day... or at least that's the plan."
2. "My resolution: to finally master the art of doing nothing productive."
3. "This year, I vow to be more consistent... in my procrastination."
4. "Resolution: to spend 30 minutes a day scrolling through social media and calling it 'research'."
5. "I promise to not give up on my resolutions, until at least February."
6. "My New Year's resolution is to only watch cat videos during work hours."
7. "This year, I resolve to be more patient... with myself when I accidentally superglue my shoes to the floor."
8. "I vow to learn a new skill... or at least Google how to do it."
9. "My resolution: to make it through January without eating all the leftover holiday cookies."
10. "This year, I promise to not resolve to do anything too crazy... like giving up coffee or going to bed before midnight."
11. "I resolve to take one more step towards fitness... and then immediately order pizza."
12. "My New Year's resolution is to only read books that have been on the bestseller list for at least 5 years ago."
13. "This year, I vow to not break my resolutions... until at least March."
14. "I promise to learn a new language... or at least learn how to say 'beer' in it."
15. "My resolution: to spend more time outside... as long as there's Wi-Fi."
Remember, the most important thing is to make your resolutions fun and achievable!
Here are some funny New Year's resolution quotes that you can use at work:
1. "I resolve to not procrastinate, unless it's 4:59 PM on Friday."
2. "My resolution is to finally master the art of making a decent cup of coffee without burning my tongue."
3. "This year, I vow to attend every meeting on time, or at least pretend to have a good excuse."
4. "I promise not to eat all the donuts in the break room, unless it's an emergency... like Monday morning."
5. "My New Year's resolution is to stop checking my phone during meetings and start pretending I'm taking notes instead."
6. "This year, I resolve to learn how to use our company's new software without actually asking for help."
7. "I vow to never say 'I'll just check my email real quick' again... unless it's 2 PM on a Friday."
8. "My resolution is to not spend more than 10 minutes scrolling through Twitter during work hours... unless there's a cat video that needs watching."
9. "This year, I promise to be more productive and less distracted by memes."
10. "I resolve to finally learn how to use the copier without making 12 unnecessary copies of my face."
11. "My New Year's resolution is to never wear sweatpants to work again... unless it's Casual Friday."
12. "This year, I vow to stop blaming my lack of motivation on the weather and start taking responsibility for my procrastination."
Remember to keep things light-hearted and respectful at work, and make sure your jokes won't offend anyone!
Here are some funny and relatable New Year's resolution quotes specifically for students:
1. "I resolve to stay up till 2am every night because procrastination is my love language."
2. "My resolution is to not eat an entire pizza by myself in one sitting... again."
3. "I vow to finally master the art of making ramen noodles without burning them (most days, at least)."
4. "In the new year, I resolve to be more productive and actually do my homework on time... or at least pretend to."
5. "My goal is to not hit the snooze button 10 times in a row every morning (a feat I'm still working on)."
6. "I resolve to not get lost in the library's endless stacks of books... again (or so I'll tell my friends)."
7. "In the new year, I vow to not spend more than 3 hours playing video games at a time... or any time, really."
8. "My resolution is to finally learn how to use Microsoft Office without having to Google 'how to make a table in Excel' every week."
9. "I resolve to be more like a responsible adult and do my laundry regularly... starting next Tuesday, maybe."
10. "In the new year, I vow to not accidentally superglue my shoes to the floor during an exam (a rookie mistake)."
11. "My goal is to actually remember what I studied for the exam and not just wing it like a pro (famous last words)."
12. "I resolve to be more organized and have all my notes in one place... until I accidentally leave them on the bus."
13. "In the new year, I vow to not eat an entire bag of chips by myself during finals week (although it's tempting)."
14. "My resolution is to not get kicked out of the library for being 'too loud' while doing group work... again."
15. "I resolve to finally master the art of making a decent cup of coffee without burning my tongue (a true student struggle)."
Hope these quotes give you some laughs and inspiration to tackle the new year!
Here are some short and funny New Year wishes:
1. "Happy New Year! May your resolutions last longer than my attention span."
2. "Wishing you a year that's lit, not just the fireworks!"
3. "May the next 365 days be filled with laughter, love, and only occasional regret"
4. "Here's to another year of making mistakes, learning from them, and then repeating them"
5. "Happy New Year! May your calendar be filled with adventures, not just Netflix binges"
6. "Wishing you a year that's as cool as the drinks you'll be sipping on NYE"
7. "May the next 12 months bring you joy, success, and only occasional existential crises "
8. "Happy New Year! May your resolutions be like your New Year's Eve hangover - short-lived but memorable"
9. "Wishing you a year that's as bright as the fireworks and not just the debt from buying them all"
10. "May the next 365 days bring you happiness, health, and only occasional need to reorganize your priorities "
11. "Happy New Year! May your calendar be filled with surprises, not just bill due dates"
12. "Wishing you a year that's as awesome as the party music playlist you've got going"
Remember to keep it light-hearted and playful, and feel free to modify them to fit your personal style!
Here are some funny New Year's one-liners to help you ring in the new year:
1. "I'm not saying I'm old, but I remember when the new year was actually new."
2. "Out with the old, in with the new... same old habits, different calendar."
3. "Happy New Year! May your resolutions last longer than my attention span on Instagram."
4. "2023: The year I finally learn to adult, but probably won't."
5. "What's the best way to predict the future? Lie about it and make a bunch of resolutions you'll never keep."
6. "I'm not sure what's more exhausting, making New Year's Eve plans or pretending to be motivated by January 1st."
7. "It's not just a new year, it's a new me... said no one ever."
8. "May your 2023 be filled with laughter, joy, and only occasional regret over those extra cookies."
9. "I'm so ready for a fresh start, but my credit card is already planning its revenge."
10. "New Year, who dis? Just me, trying to remember what I did last year."
11. "The best way to make sure your New Year's resolutions stick is to write them down and then promptly forget where you put the piece of paper."
12. "What's the opposite of 'new'? Ah yes, same old, same old. Happy New Year, 2023!"
13. "I'm not saying I have a fear of change, but I did just rewatch all seven seasons of my favorite TV show."
14. "The only resolution I'll keep is to drink more water... and then promptly forget about it by January 15th."
15. "Happy New Year! May your 2023 be filled with less procrastination and more actual progress."
Feel free to pick the one that suits your humor and make it your own!
Funny quotes are the best! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
5. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
6. "Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!"
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
8. "What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!"
9. "I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!"
10. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!"
11. "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
12. "What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical band!"
13. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
14. "Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus!"
15. "What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador!"
I hope these funny quotes bring a smile to your face!
Funny yearbook quotes are a great way to add some humor and personality to your yearbook memories. Here are some examples:
1. "I came, I saw, I conquered...and then I forgot what I was doing."
2. "You're a-maize-ing!"
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "Remember when [insert funny memory here]? Yeah, me neither."
5. "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone...and also when you finally get that math problem solved."
6. "You're so cool, you make ice look like it's having a hot flash."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy...for Netflix and chill."
8. "My greatest achievement is not getting detention more than once this year."
9. "The only thing I know for sure is that I don't know what I want to do with my life."
10. "If at first you don't succeed, try again...or just give up and play video games."
11. "You're the mac to my cheese, the peanut butter to my jelly...the partner in crime to my shenanigans."
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
13. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
14. "The only thing more exhausting than being awake is pretending to be asleep during class."
15. "My superpower is the ability to fall asleep anywhere...even in a meeting about falling asleep."
Remember, funny yearbook quotes are all about capturing the humor and personality of your school experience. So, get creative and make it your own!
I'd love to help you with that! Here are some very short, funny quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Caffeine fueled, sarcasm included."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
5. "Warning: contents may be hot and/or sarcastic."
6. "Today's goals: eat pizza, avoid responsibilities."
7. "My life motto: 'Don't worry, it'll get worse.'"
8. "I'm not a morning person, I'm not a night person... I'm an 'after-noon' person."
9. "My superpower is being able to fall asleep anywhere."
10. "Life hack: just pretend you're busy and people will leave you alone."
Hope these make your day a little brighter!