Here are some good and funny short quotes:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "Procrastination is my superpower."
4. "I'm not crazy, my reality is just different than yours."
5. "Crazy people don't know they're crazy. That's what makes them crazy."
6. "Donuts are like hugs for your stomach."
7. "My therapist told me to practice self-care. I'm like, 'You mean Netflix and pizza?'"
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "Life is short, but snuggles are forever."
10. "Coffee: Because adulting is hard."
11. "Pizza is my love language."
12. "When in doubt, add glitter."
13. "My life motto: Don't worry, it's not like I'm going to remember this anyway."
14. "I'm not late, I'm just fashionably delayed."
15. "Life hack: When you're running late, just pretend your cat is doing yoga."
These quotes are short, funny, and relatable!
I've got a treasure trove of funny and crazy quotes for you! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Crazy people don't care what others think. Sane people do." - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
4. "What's the point of having a good sense of humor if you can't make fun of yourself?" - Mitch Hedberg
5. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
6. "I'm not crazy, my parents are just really strict." - Unknown
7. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
8. "The only thing more exhausting than chasing my dreams is pretending to be normal." - Unknown
9. "Life is like a pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." - Unknown
10. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on a permanent vacation from adulting." - Unknown
11. "The only thing more expensive than therapy is not getting therapy." - Unknown
12. "My therapist told me to stop making jokes about being crazy. She said it's not helping." - Unknown
13. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
14. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
15. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried." - Unknown
And here are some quotes that might be considered "crazy" or unconventional:
1. "The only thing I'm addicted to is holding onto hope and hoping for the best." - Unknown
2. "I'd rather be a rebel without a cause than just another sheep following the herd." - Unknown
3. "Life is like a rollercoaster, but instead of being scared, I'm just really excited to see what's around the next bend." - Unknown
4. "If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space." - Unknown
5. "I'd rather be weird and wonderful than normal and boring." - Unknown
Remember, humor is subjective, so these quotes might not appeal to everyone. But hey, that's what makes life interesting, right?
I'd love to provide you with some very short, funny quotes about life! Here are a few:
1. "Life is like pizza: even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
2. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
3. "Adulting is hard, but pretending to be an adult is way harder."
4. "My life is like a video game: most of the time I'm stuck on the same level, but occasionally I get a power-up and feel like I can conquer anything!"
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right (again)."
6. "Life hack: when in doubt, eat a cookie."
7. "My social life is like a video game: I have a lot of characters to choose from, but they're all just avatars and none of them are actually talking to me."
8. "I'm not short-tempered, I'm just passionately expressive... of my frustration with the universe."
9. "Life is like riding a bike: except sometimes you fall off, and then you have to get back on again, and then you realize you're going in circles."
10. "My life is like a choose-your-own-adventure book: I'm just trying to make it through each chapter without dying or getting eaten by monsters."
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!
I've got a whole collection of them for you! Here are some funny and crazy quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a rollercoaster, except the rollercoaster is on fire and you're stuck in the front seat with no escape."
2. "Adulting is just pretending to be a responsible human being until you can't afford avocado toast anymore."
3. "My life is like a puzzle, but I'm pretty sure I've lost the box top and the instructions are written in hieroglyphics."
4. "Life hack: If you're feeling anxious, just pretend you're a chicken and cluck loudly for 10 minutes. Works every time!"
5. "Why did I eat that whole pizza by myself? Oh right, because life is short and so am I."
6. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you a flat tire on the side of the highway at midnight, call UberEats."
7. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy... for binge-watching Netflix all day."
8. "Life is like a video game – except instead of leveling up, you just get older and more wrinkly."
9. "Why do we have to grow up? Can't we just stay in elementary school forever and have recess all the time?"
10. "Life is too short for boring socks. That's my motto... or is it 'life is too short' period?"
11. "When you're an adult, but still eat cereal with milk for breakfast: The struggle is real"
12. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
13. "Life is like a box of chocolates – except sometimes they're stale and sometimes they're covered in hair."
14. "The best way to get over someone is to find someone better... or at least someone with a decent Wi-Fi signal."
15. "When life gives you rain, grab an umbrella and pretend it's a giant margarita."
Hope these crazy quotes bring a smile to your face!
I've got a treasure trove of clever and funny quotes for you!
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Unknown
2. "Caffeine fueled, sarcasm enabled" - Unknown
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
4. "Don't worry if you're not a morning person. You can always start the day over tomorrow." - Unknown
5. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
6. "Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill." - Unknown
7. "Life hack: when someone asks how you're doing and you don't want to lie, simply say 'I'm fine' and move on." - Unknown
8. "You can't buy happiness, but you can buy pizza, and that's kinda the same thing, right?" - Unknown
9. "Warning: my humor is like a rollercoaster – it's going to be up one minute and down the next. Buckle up!" - Unknown
10. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And then immediately regret your decision because lemonade is kind of gross." - Unknown
11. "My life is a mess, but my beard is on point. Priorities, people!" - Unknown
12. "I'm not saying I'm a control freak, but I once spent 20 minutes reorganizing the fridge to ensure all the Tupperware was facing forward." - Unknown
13. "You know what they say: 'The best way to get over someone is to get under them again.' Said no one ever." - Unknown
14. "Don't worry if you can't find the answer. Just Google it, and then wonder why Google knows more about your life than you do." - Unknown
15. "Life is short, but snacking is forever!" - Unknown
Hope these quotes give you a chuckle!
I've got a treasure trove of short, funny, and motivating quotes for you! Here are some to get you started:
1. **"Believe you can, and you're halfway there."** (with a side of sarcasm) "Or, like, 47%."
2. **"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."** (and 99% of the ones you do)
3. **"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."** (like a hamster on a wheel)
4. **"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It's the coffee that really matters."** (priorities, people!)
5. **"You don't have to be great to start, but you can't start until you're great... at procrastination."**
6. **"Just when you think you've reached your limit, remember that pizza exists."** (carb-loading for motivation)
7. **"Don't count your chickens before they hatch; count them after they've been trained to do tricks."** (or something like that)
8. **"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react... or how much coffee you drink."**
9. **"Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going."** (and a healthy dose of procrastination)
10. **"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."** (unless it's too late at night and you really should be sleeping)
Remember, these quotes are meant to be humorous and light-hearted!
I'd love to help you with that! Here are some funny quote ideas about yourself:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode... like my phone."
2. "Warning: I may be sarcastic, but don't worry, it's just a side effect of being me."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
4. "My brain is 80% coffee and 20% confusion. The rest is just trying to make sense of it all."
5. "I'm not a morning person. In fact, I'm not a person until noon at the earliest."
6. "If you want to know my secrets, just ask me. If you want to know my really good secrets, don't bother."
7. "My love life is like a bad Tinder profile: 'Swiped right on myself.'"
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you procrastination, make excuses."
10. "My superpower is being able to eat an entire pizza by myself without anyone judging me (except maybe my stomach)."
11. "I'm not a control freak; I just like things done a certain way... and that way is my way."
12. "Warning: the following person may be operating on minimal sleep, excessive caffeine, or both."
Feel free to modify them or use them as inspiration to create your own funny quotes about yourself!
A great topic! Here are some famous and humorous comedy quotes in English:
1. **Jerry Seinfeld**: "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
2. **Groucho Marx**: "Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?"
3. **Eddie Murphy**: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way."
4. **Bill Hicks**: "The truth is, we're all in this together... and it's all a big joke, my friends!"
5. **Ellen DeGeneres**: "Be yourself; unless you can be an eagle – then be an eagle."
6. **George Carlin**: "Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?"
7. **Robin Williams**: "I used to think the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I thought, what's this thing on the end called the tongue? It's just a little muscle, but it can taste, it can feel... it can do all sorts of things!"
8. **Monty Python's Flying Circus**: "Spam, spam, spam, and spam... Can't get enough of that Spam!"
9. **Jim Carrey**: "I'm like a dog with a bone. I'll never let go."
10. **Sarah Silverman**: "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
11. **Louis C.K.**: "You know what's weird? When you're at the grocery store and someone else is having an argument with their kid in the cereal aisle. It's like, 'Sir, please take this outside! We have a working door!'"
12. **Chris Rock**: "AIDS is not God's punishment; it's God's way of saying, 'You know what? You're not taking care of yourselves.'"
13. **Mike Myers**: "I'm kind of a big deal. People know me."
14. **Tina Fey**: "I want to make one thing clear: I am not a morning person. If you need something from me in the morning, it's going to cost you extra."
15. **Richard Pryor**: "Why do people say 'grow some balls'? There's only eight conditions for growing balls: puberty, aging, menopause, miscarriage, M.R.S.A., syphilis, gonorrhea, and getting hit in the nuts."
These are just a few examples of the many hilarious comedy quotes out there. I hope you find them amusing!