A perfect combo! Here are some short, humorous, and sarcastic New Year's quotes:
1. "Happy New Year! Let's pretend we're going to change."
2. "2023: Because 2022 was a real party."
3. "New Year, Who Dis? (Still me, still eating cookies)"
4. "Out with the old, in with the same old habits"
5. "May your resolutions be like your ex: short-lived and forgotten by February"
6. "It's not a new year without a few broken promises "
7. "2023: The year we all pretend to adult again"
8. "New Year, New Me... Same Old Problems"
9. "Let's make 2023 all about pretending to be productive"
10. "Happy New Year! Now let's just try not to mess it up this time"
11. "2023: Where we relearn the same old lessons and hope for better next year"
12. "The only thing I'm resolving is to eat more pizza"
13. "New Year, Who Cares? (Just me, still stuck in January 1st)"
14. "Out with the old, in with the same old Netflix shows"
15. "May your new year be filled with good vibes and a strong Wi-Fi signal"
Hope these quotes bring some humor to your New Year's celebration!
Here are some short and funny New Year's wish ideas:
1. "May your new year be filled with laughter, love, and a strong Wi-Fi signal"
2. "Wishing you a year that's lit (but not too lit)"
3. "May 2023 be the year you finally master the art of adulting (just kidding, it's okay if you don't)"
4. "Here's to another year of making poor life choices and eating an entire pizza by myself"
5. "Wishing you a new year that's as bright as your future (and also as sparkly as my sequined party dress)"
6. "May 2023 be the year you finally learn to cook something other than ramen noodles "
7. "Here's to another year of being a hot mess, but in a good way"
8. "Wishing you a new year that's filled with adventure, excitement, and only occasional existential crises"
9. "May your new year be as smooth as a fresh-brewed cup of coffee (or as rough as a morning after a late night)"
10. "Here's to another year of making memories, breaking records, and occasionally forgetting where you put your keys"
Feel free to modify or combine these ideas to fit your personality and style!
Here are some funny New Year's one-liners:
1. "Happy New Year! May all your resolutions be as fleeting as my interest in them."
2. "2023: the year I finally learn to adult... or at least pretend to do so on social media."
3. "Wishing you a year that's better than 2022, and if not, at least one where you don't die from too many failed attempts at 'dry January'."
4. "Here's to another year of pretending I'm a functioning member of society when really I'm just winging it."
5. "New Year, who dis? Same me, different hairdo."
6. "May 2023 be the year you finally get your life together... or at least get your cat to start doing tricks for treats."
7. "Wishing you a year that's as lit as my Spotify playlists and as chill as my Netflix queue."
8. "Happy New Year! May all your problems be as small as your January 1st hangover."
9. "2023: the year I'll finally master the art of making excuses for not having a social life... or at least convincing myself it's okay to spend Friday nights alone with a pint of ice cream."
10. "Wishing you a year that's as bright as my future plans and as fulfilling as my Instagram stories about 'adulting'."
11. "Happy New Year! May your 2023 be filled with more laughter than tears, and fewer cat-astrophes than actual catastrophes."
12. "Here's to another year of making resolutions I'll promptly forget by February 1st... at least it's a fun tradition!"
13. "Wishing you a year that's as wild as my weekend nights and as peaceful as my Sunday mornings (after a few cups of coffee, of course)."
14. "Happy New Year! May your 2023 be filled with more good vibes than bad hair days."
15. "Wishing you a year that's as unpredictable as the weather outside and as exciting as the plot twists on your favorite TV show."
Feel free to pick your favorite one-liner or use them as inspiration to come up with your own!
Funny quotes are the best! Here are some that might tickle your funny bone:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right." - Anonymous
2. "Why do toasters always have a setting for defrosting? Who is freezing toast?" - Unknown
3. "What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One's very heavy, the other's a little lighter!" - Unknown
4. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode." - Unknown
5. "Why do people say 'break a leg'? Is that supposed to be inspiring or something?" - Mitch Hedberg
6. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!" - Unknown
7. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours." - Unknown
8. "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!" - Unknown
9. "Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!" - Unknown
10. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised." - Steve Martin
And here are some funny quotes from famous comedians:
1. "I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter." - Mitch Hedberg
2. "I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." - Aisha Tyler
3. "I told my wife she was drunk. She said, 'I'm okay.' I said, 'Okay?'!" - Rodney Dangerfield
4. "What's the difference between a pizza and a calzone? One's got a hole in it." - Brian Regan
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on pause." - Jim Gaffigan
Hope these funny quotes brightened your day!
Here are some Happy New Year comedy quotes to ring in the new year with laughter:
1. "I'm not a morning person, so I don't think 'Happy New Year' is a thing that's actually said by humans. It's just something we say while pretending to be awake."
— Adam Devine
2. "New Year's resolutions are like the gym memberships of our hopes and dreams. We pay for them, but we rarely use them."
— Michael Ian Black
3. "I'm not saying I'm a procrastinator, but my New Year's resolution is to do everything I was supposed to have done last year."
— comedian unknown
4. "Happy New Year! May your resolutions be more successful than your attempts to get into shape, and may your hangover be less painful than your regret."
— Josh Gondelman
5. "I'm a firm believer that you should never give up on your New Year's resolutions... until the second week of January, when all hope is lost."
— comedian unknown
6. "New Year's Eve is just a fancy way of saying 'Let's pretend we're adults and then cry ourselves to sleep because it's not really midnight where our exes are'."
— Ali Wong
7. "My New Year's resolution is to be more like the people in those 'before' pictures on weight loss ads. You know, the ones with the sad faces and the sweatpants."
— comedian unknown
8. "I'm trying to start a new trend: having no New Year's resolutions. I mean, what's the point? It's just going to be another year of being lazy and eating Cheetos."
— Rob Riggle
9. "New Year's resolutions are like dieting for your soul. You make all these promises, but then you just end up back at the old habits... with a side of regret."
— comedian unknown
10. "I made a New Year's resolution to not be a jerk. I'm not sure if it's working yet, but I did eat an entire pizza by myself last night, so maybe that's progress?"
— Brian Posehn
Funny yearbook quotes are a treasure trove of nostalgia and laughter! Here are some examples:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
2. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
3. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
4. "Warning: I may be small, but I can still kick your butt."
5. "My favorite thing about high school is the homework-free summer ahead of me."
6. "If I had a dollar for every time someone said 'you're so weird,' I'd have at least $3 by now."
7. "I'm not saying I'm a bad driver, but I've been known to take a few... creative routes."
8. "My biggest accomplishment is still breathing."
9. "I may be a nerd, but at least my calculator doesn't think I'm weird."
10. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
These quotes are hilarious because they:
* Poke fun at common high school experiences (like procrastination and homework)
* Make light of personal quirks or flaws
* Use humor to deflect attention from any perceived shortcomings
* Celebrate individuality and self-acceptance
Remember, yearbook quotes are often meant to be humorous and lighthearted, so don't worry if they're a little silly or irreverent. They're meant to bring a smile to your face and remind you of the fun times you had in high school!
A savage reply for the new year! Here are some ideas:
1. "New year, same me: still eating Cheetos in my pajamas"
2. "Happy New Year to all the haters out there... may your resolutions be as fleeting as their memories of me"
3. "I'm not making any resolutions this year... because I've already resolved that I'll just do whatever the heck I want, and you can't stop me "
4. "New year, new me? More like same old me, but with a fresh coat of mascara"
5. "Resolutions are for wimps. I'm just going to keep on keeping on... and eating pizza for breakfast"
6. "Happy New Year! May your hangover be as intense as my opinions about politics"
7. "I've got one resolution: to finally master the art of doing absolutely nothing productive for at least 30 minutes a day"
8. "New year, new me? Ha! I'm still the same old me... just with more gray hairs and a few extra pounds"
9. "May your New Year's resolutions be as fleeting as your motivation to go to the gym"
10. "I resolve to do what I always do: eat too much, drink too much, and pretend like I care about my personal growth"
Remember, these are all in good fun!
Here are some ideas for New Year captions for your Instagram post:
1. "Ringing in the new year with hope, joy, and a fresh start"
2. "Cheers to another year of growth, love, and adventure! Happy New Year!"
3. "Out with the old, in with the new Let's make this year count!"
4. "May this new year bring you peace, happiness, and all your heart's desires"
5. "New year, who dis? Ready for whatever 2023 brings"
6. "As we bid farewell to the old and welcome the new, let's remember to be kind to ourselves and others"
7. "Here's to a year of taking risks, trying new things, and being brave enough to chase our dreams"
8. "May this new year bring you closer to your goals, your passions, and your heart's desire"
9. "A new year, a new chapter in the story of my life Ready for whatever comes next!"
10. "Wishing you a year filled with laughter, love, and adventure May all your dreams come true in 2023!"
11. "New year, same me, but better Ready to take on whatever this year brings"
12. "Let's make this year one for the books A time for growth, self-improvement, and making memories that will last a lifetime"
13. "May this new year bring you clarity, purpose, and a sense of direction"
14. "Here's to a year of being kind, compassionate, and understanding towards ourselves and others"
15. "As we step into the unknown, may our hearts be filled with hope, faith, and gratitude"
Feel free to customize any of these captions to fit your personal style and the tone you want to convey!