Here are some short, motivational, and funny quotes to brighten your day:
1. "Today's goals: eat pizza, be productive, repeat."
2. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going!"
3. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
4. "Believe you can, believe you're worthy of success, and then keep pushing until you get there (or at least make it to the couch)."
5. "Don't give up! You still have time to become the person you needed to be when you were younger."
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
7. "Life hack: whenever someone says 'you're so lucky,' just nod and smile. They don't know your struggles, but they do know your Wi-Fi password."
8. "My to-do list is shorter than my attention span, but that's okay because I'm just going to focus on the snacks anyway."
9. "Don't let yesterday take up too much of today. Unless you're a time traveler; then make some adjustments and get back to me."
10. "The only thing holding you back is your lack of effort (and maybe also your lack of coffee)."
11. "You are stronger than you think, braver than you feel, and smarter than you know. Now go crush that presentation without checking your phone for 2 hours straight."
12. "Don't compare yourself to others; compare yourself to who you were yesterday and try not to be a hot mess."
13. "Remember: every great accomplishment started with someone taking the first step (or in my case, hitting the snooze button)."
14. "I'm not saying I'm lazy, but I've found that if I put my phone on silent mode, it's like the world is also putting its expectations and responsibilities on silent mode."
15. "Don't let fear hold you back; unless the fear is spiders, then just... never mind."
Feel free to use these quotes whenever you need a quick pick-me-up or a reminder that even in the darkest of times (or during a Netflix binge), there's always room for a little humor and motivation!
I've got some short and sweet ones for you! Here are some very short, funny quotes:
1. "Crazy people are my favorite kind."
2. "Today's goals: Eat a whole pizza by myself, nap in the bathtub."
3. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
4. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
5. "Life hack: Just pretend to be busy when someone asks for help."
6. "Pizza is like a hug for my stomach."
7. "Don't worry, I'm not procrastinating, I'm just reorganizing my priorities."
8. "Why do coffee files complaints? Because it's always getting buzzed about something."
9. "I don't have a problem with commitment; I just prefer to keep my options open... and also hoard snacks."
10. "What's the difference between a baker and a liar? A baker makes dough, but both make bread."
Hope these short quotes put a smile on your face!
Here are some motivational and humorous quotes to brighten up your workday:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference." - Unknown
2. "Coffee: because adulting is hard."
3. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you deadlines, make Excel spreadsheets."
4. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
6. "You miss 100% of the opportunities you don't apply for. (Just kidding, it's actually more like 99.9%... but still, go apply!)"
7. "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"
8. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
9. "The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney
10. "Don't worry if you're not perfect. I'm not perfect, and I still manage to mess things up regularly."
11. "I'm not arguing with you, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
12. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. But let's be real, everything is broken, so go ahead and try to fix it!"
13. "You're doing great for a human. Keep going!"
14. "When in doubt, add more caffeine (and maybe a few exclamation points)."
15. "Remember, when life gives you Monday mornings, make coffee."
16. "I'm not lazy; I'm just on a different schedule... like, 3 hours behind everyone else."
17. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing. And also for them to procrastinate and avoid doing anything at all costs."
18. "What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a programmer? One brings you a hot pie, and the other takes away your weekends!"
19. "The best way to get motivated is to find something you love and then pretend it's not work."
20. "It's okay to have a bad day at work. Just don't have two in a row, or you'll be having a streak... of suckiness."
I hope these quotes bring some humor and motivation to your workday!
You want to laugh and be motivated at the same time? Here are some humorous motivational quotes about life:
1. **"Life is short, but snail mail is forever."** - Unknown (Reminding you to appreciate the little things)
2. "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then, throw it in a trash can because you're not thirsty anyway." - Unknown (A humorous take on making the most of challenges)
3. **"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."** - C.S. Lewis (With a dash of humor and a reminder to keep pursuing your passions)
4. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do. Unless you hate it, then just pretend really well." - Unknown (A lighthearted take on finding purpose and passion in your work)
5. **"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."** - Unknown (For those days when motivation seems low)
6. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson (A motivational quote with a dash of humor and a reminder to stay focused)
7. **"Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it."** - Tom Lehrer (A clever way to look at the ups and downs of life)
8. "I don't have 'bad days.' I just have 'days with slightly lower energy levels.'" - Unknown (For those who need a little humor to deal with tough times)
9. **"When in doubt, eat chocolate cake. It's like therapy, but cheaper."** - Unknown (A humorous take on self-care and stress relief)
10. "Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Or, at the very least, that's my excuse for eating the whole pizza by myself." - Unknown (A lighthearted reminder of the importance of attitude and perspective)
I hope these quotes bring a smile to your face and inspire you to take on life with humor and enthusiasm!
Here are some deep, motivational, and funny quotes to brighten your day:
1. "I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode. Like your phone, but without the notifications."
2. "You're never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." - C.S. Lewis (plus, who doesn't love a good excuse to buy new workout gear?)
3. "I used to think that adulting was about having all the answers. Now I know it's about figuring things out as you go and eating pizza for dinner."
4. "Believe you can and you're halfway there." - Theodore Roosevelt (but let's be real, the other half is usually spent doubting yourself)
5. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
6. "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." - Zig Ziglar (or, as I like to call it, the "start-astic" principle)
7. "Life is short, but snacks are forever."
8. "I'm not saying I'm a morning person, but I've learned to appreciate the quiet hours before my inner monologue starts yelling at me again."
9. "You're doing your best, and that's something to be proud of... even if your best looks like wearing sweatpants on Tuesdays"
10. "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going." - Jim Rohn (or, as I like to call it, the "get-started-and-then-get-comfortable" principle)
11. "The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." - Walt Disney (but let's be real, first we need to take a few selfies to document our progress)
12. "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson (or, as I like to call it, the "procrastinate-and-then-just-go-with-it" principle)
13. "I'm not saying I'm lazy, but I've been accused of sleeping for 16 hours straight once... and that was just a Tuesday."
14. "The only way to do great work is to love what you do." - Steve Jobs (or, as I like to call it, the "do-what-you-love-and-the-money-will-follow" principle)
15. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face and some motivation to your day!
I've got some goodies for you!
Here are some very short, funny quotes about life:
1. "Life is like a puzzle. Sometimes the pieces don't fit."
2. "Crazy people are just living their best lives... wrong."
3. "My life is like a video game. Except I'm stuck on level 30 and it's boring."
4. "Adulting is hard, but at least the coffee is good."
5. "Life is too short to waste on things that don't make you LOL"
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. There's a difference."
7. "The only thing more exhausting than adulting is trying to pretend to be a functioning adult."
8. "Procrastination: because putting things off until tomorrow means it's still today."
9. "Life is like a box of chocolates... except the chocolates are just as likely to give you cavities."
10. "My life motto: 'I'll try, but no promises I won't mess up'."
Hope these quotes made your day!
You want some humorous, yet questionable inspiration? Here are some "funny" (or not) bad inspirational quotes:
1. **"Believe you can and you're halfway there. The other half is just a bunch of excuses."**
2. **"The only thing standing between you and your dream is your lack of motivation... and possibly a few significant obstacles, like gravity or common sense."**
3. **"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how badly you want a cookie."**
4. **"Your only limit is the one you set for yourself. Unless you're trying to fit into those skinny jeans from high school, then it's just biology."**
5. **"The best way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing... or at least take a really long nap."**
6. **"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it's just an excuse to wear sweatpants on Tuesdays."**
7. **"You don't have to be great to start, but if you start acting like you're great, people might think you're actually trying."**
8. **"The only thing more exhausting than chasing your dreams is pretending to be interested in your neighbor's cat."**
9. **"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take... unless you're playing darts with a blindfold on, then it's just a game of chance."**
10. **"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going!" (But let's be real, that clock is still gonna keep ticking regardless.)**
Remember, these quotes are intentionally cheesy and not meant to be taken seriously. But hey, if they make you smile or laugh, then mission accomplished!
I'd love to help you with that! Here are some funny and crazy quotes for you:
1. "I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
2. "Crazy people are the only ones who can truly understand me."
3. "Life is like a piano - what you get out of it depends on how far you're willing to roll with the punches and hit some sour notes."
4. "My therapist says I have a fear of cheese, but that's not true. It's just an aversion to dairy-based paranoia."
5. "I'm not lazy, I'm just conserving energy for more important things... like binge-watching Netflix."
6. "The only thing crazier than me is the person who thought it was a good idea to put pineapple on pizza."
7. "Life is short, but stupid decisions can make it seem much longer."
8. "I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing my point of view while completely dismissing yours."
9. "Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I took all the cheese in the world and melted it into one giant wheel. Would that be a gouda thing?"
10. "If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
And here are some more:
1. "I'm not crazy, my therapist is just trying to make me feel better about being crazy."
2. "The only thing more exhausting than fighting with someone is explaining why you're right while they're wrong."
3. "Life is like a video game - except when you die, it's permanent."
4. "Sometimes I think the best way to handle stress is just to pretend everything is fine and hope nobody asks any questions."
5. "If you can't take the heat, get out of my kitchen... or better yet, get out of my life."
6. "I'm not arguing, I'm just providing a contrasting perspective that will inevitably lead to my defeat."
7. "Sometimes I wonder if aliens are watching us, and if they are, what would be their favorite Earthly activity - besides binge-watching cat videos?"
8. "If you're going through hell, keep going. If you're not going through hell, don't worry, it'll get here eventually."
9. "I'm not crazy, I just have a unique perspective on life... or maybe I'm just high."
10. "Life is like a puzzle - except the pieces are constantly moving and nobody can tell what the finished picture looks like."
Hope these quotes bring a smile to your face!