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孔普雷中央監獄 曼谷以南37英裡
堅持就是勝利
宿醉3
混蛋
Motherfuckers!
靠
Fuck.
尼瑪
Fuck!
我們快到家了 哥們
We're almost home, buddy!
喔
Whoo!
喔
Whoo!
餵...
Hey...
我叫艾倫 我買了頭長頸鹿
My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe!
他是我的了
He's all mine!
他超友好的
He's super friendly!
哦 哇
Oh, wow.
看那頭長頸鹿
Look at the giraffe.
天啊 你覺得它要去哪兒?
Oh, my God. Where do you think it's going?
喔
Whoo!
哦 我的生活棒極了 我的生活棒極了
Oh, my life is great! I have a wonderful life!
限高3.8米
我的生活棒極了
I have a wonderful life!
馬路殺手 無頭長頸鹿使405號高速封鎖
是的 先生 當然 太感謝了 不 當然
Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will. Thank you so much. No, of course.
不 不 真的太對不起了
No, no. And again, I'm so sorry.
市長打來的 艾倫
That was the mayor, Alan.
這只是場意外
It was an accident.
你說過無論我做什麼你都會愛我的
You said you'd always love me no matter what I did.
對啊 你是我的最親的人
I know and I do. You're my best friend.
可是 艾倫 你幹嘛要買頭長頸鹿?
But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
我一直想要一頭
I've always wanted one.
我能在我的樹屋裡餵他
I could feed him from my tree house.
而且 它們讓我聯想到我自己
Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
哪方面?
In what way?
它們又高又大 鬱鬱寡歡
They're majestic, pensive and tall.
-鬱鬱寡歡? -是啊
-Pensive? -Yeah.
-你從哪兒學的這詞? -"跟小夥伴一起記單詞"
-Where'd you learn that word? -"Words With Friends."
-哪個小夥伴 艾倫? -電腦隨機挑的
-What friends, Alan? -You can set it on random.
艾倫 你不僅害得一條高速公路封鎖了...
Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway...
還害死了一隻野生動物 全國都鬧得沸沸揚揚
you murdered a wild animal. It's national news.
我為擺平你這件事花的銀子你想都不敢想
You don't want to know the checks I had to write to fix this.
別扯了 咱們是土豪
Oh, please. We're rich.
咱們什麼也不是 艾倫
We are not anything, Alan.
我生活寬裕 你是我40歲的兒子...
I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son...
42 我42歲了
Forty-two. I'm 42!
42歲還賴在家裡啃老的兒子
42-year-old son who still lives at home.
你必須回去繼續接受藥物治療 不然我就不給你錢花
You are to go back on your medication or I'm cutting you off.
別裝了 飯好了沒?
You're bluffing. When's dinner?
你媽媽和我都已經忍無可忍了
Your mother and I can't take this anymore!
-你們大概還是得忍 -我不忍了
-Well, you might have to. -I can't do it!
我受不了了
I cannot do this!
艾倫 艾倫
Alan! Alan!
天啊 他的嗓音跟天使似的
My God, he's got the voice of an angel.
簡直動人心弦
It's breathtaking.
我沒法相信我父親已經死了
I can't believe my daddy is dead.
有那麼多人 我寧可他們比我父親先死
I can think of so many people I would rather have died first.
比如我母親
Like my mother.
正如你們大多數人所知...
As many of you know...
我父親和我關係很近
my father and I were extremely close.
他曾是我的人生伴侶
He was my life partner.
他經常告訴我 幾乎是每天一次...
He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis...
我是他最喜歡的孩子
that I was his favorite child.
我會銘記他給我的遺言:
I'll always remember the last words he said to me:
"我為你自豪 艾倫
"I'm proud of you, Alan.
永遠不要改變"
Never change."
是啊...
Well...
我聽得很清楚 爸爸
I heard you loud and clear, Daddy.
我絕不改變
I will never change.
永遠不會
Never, ever.
哦 媽媽
Oh, Mom.
到你了 神父
Go ahead, chief.
習德·加納是一位受人愛戴的丈夫...
Sid Garner was a beloved husband...
父親和鄰居
father and neighbor.
難熬的一天啊
Wow, rough day.
-是啊 翠西怎麼樣了? -不怎麼好
-Yeah, how's Tracy doing? -Not great.
她媽幾乎完全崩潰了 雪上加霜的是...
Her mother's totally on the edge, and if all this weren't enough...
艾倫已經放棄治療快六個月了
apparently Alan's been off his meds for almost six months.
天啊
Oh, boy.
是啊 本來就很糟了
Yeah, it has not been pretty.
-又來了這他媽一樁長頸鹿的事 -我倒覺得挺搞笑的
-Then there's the whole fucking giraffe thing. -I thought that was pretty funny.
-什麼? -得了吧 他只不過搞死了一頭長頸鹿
-What? -Come on. He killed a giraffe.
又不是殺人放火
Who gives a fuck?
我本來不想說什麼的 可是艾倫最近一直來我辦公室
You know, I wasn't gonna say anything, but Alan's been stopping by my office lately.
你搞笑呢吧 他去幹嘛?
You're kidding me. What for?
我不知道 他就坐在候診室裡讀"天才寶寶"
I don't know. He just sits in the waiting room and reads "Highlights" magazine.
填填字謎 能做多少算多少 然後離開
Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves.
看
Check it out.
-哇 -天啊 你準備拿他怎麼辦?
-Wow. -Jesus, what are you gonna do with him?
其實 我正要和你們談這件事的
Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
琳達很想給他送他去療養院
Linda really wants to stage an intervention for him.
"療養院"? 真的假的?
An intervention? Really?
我覺得聽起來很不錯
I think that sounds like a great idea.
是啊 不過問題是...
Yeah, the thing is...
她很肯定除非我們都在場 不然他是不會同意的
she's pretty convinced he won't agree to it unless all of us are there.
你知道他什麼德行的
I mean, you know how he is.
我得考慮考慮 感覺有點過
I don't know. It seems a little extreme to me.
天啊 看他現在
Oh, God. Look at him now.
好吧 算上我 什麼時候?
Okay, I'm in. When are we doing it?
我們今天和翠西談過了...
So we talked to Tracy today...
她說他們發現那裡的醫療設施很棒
and she said that the treatment facility that they found is really nice.
環境很好 我在網上查了查 名聲也不錯
It's beautiful. I checked it out online. Great reputation.
那又怎樣? 那鬼地方在亞利桑那
Who gives a fuck? It's in Arizona.
開兩天的車就為去那鳥不拉屎的地方?
We gotta go on like a two-day drive for this shit?
又來了
Here we go.
他們應該省點錢 送他去減肥訓練營
They should just save their money and send him to fat camp.
-菲爾 -怎麼?
-Phil. -What?
他該減肥了 減完肥 找個妹子
He should lose weight. He'll find a woman.
這才是他需要的 那傢伙太孤獨了
That's what he needs. The dude's lonely.
要是他這麼孤獨 你們倆幹嘛不多陪他會兒
If he's so lonely, why don't the two of you spend more time with him?
不 相信我 你不會樂意的
No, trust me, you don't want that.
不 你絕對不會樂意的
No. You definitely don't want that.
別嘛 他也沒那麼壞
Come on. He's not that bad.
最糟能糟到哪去呢? 紋身?
I mean, what's the worst that's happened? The tattoo?
是啊 紋身是最糟的了
Yeah, the tattoo's the worst.
對吧?
Right?
絕對的 紋身是最糟的了 噩夢啊
Definitely. Tattoo was the worst. Nightmare.
說到這個 你有沒有去檢查過?
Speaking of which, you ever get tested?
什麼?
Excuse me?
因為墨水
You know, because of the ink.
其實指的是上一部司徒被泰國人妖爆菊的事
進入了你的身體
That went inside you.
我沒事
I'm fine.
-保重 -好吧 明天好運
-Take care. -All right, good luck tomorrow.
多謝
Oh, thanks.
-我11點來接你 -好極了
-I'll pick you up at 11. -Perfect.
多謝了
Thank you so much.
謝了
Thanks.
-再次感謝你們都能來 -應該的
-Again, thank you so much for coming. -Oh, of course.
這位是尼克 尼克是艾倫的小夥伴
This is Nico. Nico is a good friend of Alan's.
-你好啊 哥們 -你好 你好
-What's up, bros? -Oh, yeah, hey.
那是布蘭卡
And that's Blanca.
布蘭卡從艾倫還是個嬰兒的時候就跟我們一起了
Blanca's been with us since Alan was a baby.
-你好 -你好
-Hello. -Hello.
這是提摩西 提摩西住在街對面
And this is Timothy. Timothy lives across the street.
他和艾倫一起遊泳
He and Alan swim together.
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