前言
以下內容大多數都是我自己的親身總結,是自己的一種學習心得和方法,會有一定的參考性,但是不一定有普適性(不一定適用於所有人)。在學習的過程中,假如對我自己的某些學習方法不適應的話,可以採用自己的方法去解決問題,或者把一些自己覺得有價值的想法和我交流一下:)假如我的一些想法有知識上的錯誤,也可以直接指出來,因為我也是第一次做這種學習博主,而且我是非英語專業的學生,可能一些理解和英專的同學偏差比較大[捂臉
還有:這次推文裡面,寫作的「例文」,全都出自本人之手,在第二次和第三次備考雅思的時候寫出來的。可能就6-6.5的水平吧,運氣好一點可能7,我的基本套路學到了,但是在寫作的進階之路上,我還需要加倍努力努力再努力。大家一定可以寫出比我更好的作文。
A/大作文的TR和CC的講解
和之前的LR、GRA一樣,我就直接對著評分標準來講解把,這樣可以避免一些基礎問題。
TR方面
【5分】
♦ addresses the task only partially; the format maybe inappropriate inplaces
解釋:
舉例:Discussthese both views (Task1)and give your own opinion(Task2).
考生可能會因為多種原因,會忘記寫「giveyour own opinion」的任務,這樣有失分的風險。
對策:
1.考生平常要養成認真審題的習慣,注意task可能會有好幾個。
2.如考生在考試中突然發現自己沒有完成另一個task(以例子中的題目為準),那麼考生可以在兩個觀點的段落中加一段類似於這樣的話:「Thewriter/I strongly agree with this opinion」,這樣也可以在時間緊迫的時候避免這個問題。
舉例:考生寫作的時候,觀點未分段。
♦ expresses a position but thedevelopment is not alwaysclear and there may be no conclusions drawn
解釋:
考生寫作的觀點不夠明確,具體,個性化;相反,考生的觀點比較籠統。
舉例:(這裡就直接用中文舉例了)
某一段:Eating fruits is beneficial to our health. Xxxxxxxxxxx(中間有一堆句子). To conclude, it is essential to take fruits.
問題:吃水果對身體好,這個觀點是很籠統的,升級版段落應該是這樣的(我的寫作也只有6.5,可能參考價值不太大,但是對於低分點避雷還是有一定參考價值的,建議讀者們把我的內容當做基礎的問題避雷,然後學習一些7分以上的優秀寫作;當然我也會學習的!要把寫作提高!)。
修改後:Eating fruits is beneficial to our health, as they contain various Vitamin or other nutrients, which can supply human body. For instance, tomatoes can provide adequate Vitamin B and Vitamin C. Apples can …. (然後舉例幾種維生素的水果,最後再給出一個結論)
在這裡,有一個supporting reason是很重要的,觀點會更加明確,有條件的話還可以加一個非限定從,和剛才寫的內容一樣。
考生的寫作沒有結論段;或者是沒有寫結論句。最終導致了TR的失分。
♦ presents some main ideas but these are limited and not sufficiently develop
例如,在一篇主題為「Forathletes, mental health is strongly needed in sports competitions.」的作文中,考生的觀點:mental health can makethem happy ….
在這裡,Makethem happy不是一個很好的觀點,是比較有局限的,並且和sports competitions沒有很大的聯繫;且make them happy是很小兒科的講法,考官可能看厭了……
修改:
In sports competitions or Olympic games, it is quite essential for professional athletes to keep mental health, since it would boost their positive moods, such as confidence and ambition, and such moods may helpthem to win gold metals(這句話也是和之前的makethem happy差不多的,但是表達更加高級;有一定的理由支撐觀點;中間用了since還有such moods,不斷推導,推導出了mental health在sports competitions裡面的積極作用。).Firstly, confidence can …… Furthermore, …… In addition, adequate ambition can….. (可以分幾個moods來講mental health的重要性)In conclusion, xxxxx(對首句做一下paraphrase).
【對策】
· 考生需要多思考觀點和題目任務的聯繫,通過推導或者其他的形式建立聯繫,使自己的觀點更加有說服力;
· 考生寫作的時候要選比較切合題目的觀點,跑題的觀點是不太好的,TR會扣分。
【6分】
♦ addresses all parts of the task although some parts may be more fully covered than others
在這裡,考生完成了所有的寫作任務,沒有漏題,這是比5分進步的地方。
例題:「轉基因食品現在很流行。Some people believe that …. While others believe that ….轉基因食品利大於弊,還是弊大於利?discuss these both views and state your own opinion.」(隨便舉例了一個很經典的例題,我大一下一個選修課的essay也是寫的這個。。。)
結構:
第一段:改寫背景句+總結他人的觀點+表態自己的觀點
第二段:說有些人認為轉基因食品利大於弊(正常地陳述)
第三段:說有些人認為轉基因食品弊大於利(陳述過少,可能只寫了1-2行或者2-3行)
最後一段:總結,paraphrase兩方觀點和自己的觀點。
自己的觀點:可以另起一段,在第三段和最後一段之間;或者是加在第二段/第三段裡面。
在這裡,就出現了part內容不均衡的現象,TR可能只會有6分。
【對策】
· 每一個part的內容和長度要均衡,最好是55開或者46開。
· 有時候考生可能因為思維不夠靈活,對於一些觀點可能沒有想法,這個時候就需要多積累素材,把每一個問題的觀點都看一遍/尋找每一個問題的觀點,選擇自己最會寫的觀點。記得有一個題目好像是和法學和court(法院)有關的:「法院應不應該公開審理法律案件?」,這個題目對一個法盲的我來說有一絲絲艱難,很難榨出自己的想法。因此,考生備考的時候要全面看素材,不要只看自己擅長的領域。
【思維拓展】
「法院應不應該公開審理法律案件?」(公開審理:public hearing/trial)
正方:有利於法律的公開執行,民眾監督
(隨便造了個句)
Public hearing would be useful for law enforcement, ascitizens are available to legal cases and those people have more rights to supervise laws and courts.
反方:對於一些涉及隱私的法律案件,法院不應該公開審理
隱私問題privacy concerns/隱私權the right of privacy/隱私曝光theexposure of privacy/未成年人犯罪minor crime/醜聞scandals/。。。。。(剩下的詞夥大家可以自己查,這些僅供參考)
♦ presents a relevant positionalthough the conclusions may become unclear or repetitive
觀點明確,沒有模稜兩可,回應了寫作任務。
【對策】
· 要把結論段寫清晰
· 學習多種句式結構,讓結論句式更加靈活;學習一些詞的多種形式表達,讓結論用的詞彙和段落開頭句或者文章開頭段充滿生機。
例如:
· 單詞改寫 be beneficialfor/benefits/have benefits
· 句子改寫 可以考慮把句子倒裝,例如only in this way + 倒裝,還起到了表強調的作用。
♦ presents relevant main ideas but some maybe inadequatelydeveloped/unclear
【對策】同此處「5分」的對策。
【7分】
♦ addresses all parts of the task
♦ presents a clear position throughout the response
♦ presents, extends and supports main ideas, butthere may be a tendency to overgeneralise and/or supporting ideas may lack focus
· 考生給出了足夠豐富的Mainideas,並且有邏輯,能支撐觀點。
· 雖然有時候會出現一概而論或者觀點缺乏重點的現象。
CC方面:
【5分】
♦ presents information with some organisation but there may be a lack ofoverall progression
【對策】全文要分好段,有總起,觀點,總結,顯得有層次感,有邏輯,有組織結構。
考生亂背寫作素材,亂套素材,顯得行文會很沒有邏輯,考官會給出比較低的CC分。
舉例:(直接用中文舉例,會稍微直觀一點)
論證觀點:論證「不聽老人言,吃虧在眼前」
考生的想法:在生活中,我們難免會受到挫折,難免會吃點虧……但是……吃虧是福,所以吃虧也沒什麼大不了的……
此考生思維混亂,在CC中犯了比較大的錯誤,在CC這一欄的得分會比較低。
【對策】
段落間,句子和句子的邏輯要清晰;全文裡,段落和段落的邏輯要清晰。段落內的句子,全文內的段落,應該是一個順暢地,有邏輯地寫作的過程,考生要做到這一點。
♦ makes inadequate, inaccurate or over-use of cohesive devices
舉例:(一篇關於保護文化遺產的文章)
It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums, since it would increase a sense of national identity. Firstly, the protection of those cultural relics would arouse the interest of the public, which means that people may consider the importance of preserving those valuable assets. However, after humans understand that, there would be a sense of national identity……
However,錶轉折。在這裡,這篇文章的內容和思路應該是遞進關係,因此錶轉折關係的連接詞是不適合用在這裡的。用furthermore或者其同義詞更好。
【對策】
考生要根據句意,或者是寫作內容內在的邏輯,選擇合適的關鍵詞,符合語境的關鍵詞。
舉例:
· 考生總是使用firstly,secondly, what’s more(what’smore不規範,學術英語裡面不可以出現任何的縮寫。)
· 有些不該使用cohesivedevice的地方,考生卻使用了cohesive device,使得內容的邏輯不夠自然。比如考生寫一句話,就用一個cohesive device,這樣就屬於過度使用了。
【對策】
合理使用cohesive device。
♦ may be repetitive because of lack of referencing andsubstitution
舉例:(直接拿上面的那一段文字來舉例了)
It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums, since protecting cultural heritages would increase a senseof national identity of the government and citizens. Firstly, the protection of those cultural heritages would arouse the interest of the public, which means that people may consider the importance of preserving cultural heritages.
考生在這裡過度謹慎,沒有想到使用代詞來指代,或者是使用同義詞來替換之前所寫過的詞,考官會覺得這是很repetitive的。Cultural heritages來cultural heritage去考官看了會暈了去的。
【對策】
使用代詞或者是使用同義詞來替換原來的內容。
It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums, since it would increase a sense of national identity. Firstly, the protection of those cultural relics would arouse the interest ofthe public, which means that people may consider the importance of preserving those valuable assets.
在這裡,代詞it可以用來指代前面的行為,「It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums」。考生可以合理地,有邏輯地使用代詞來替代之前講過的內容(之所以用黃色把字框起來,因為代詞替代會出現邏輯錯誤,等下會講,考生們需要注意這一點)。
而culturalrelics和thosevaluable assets是替代得很好的,考生需要積累同義詞替換,替換原來的內容,這樣CC和LR都可以獲得相對較高的分數。
(文物「馬踏飛燕」的正面....哈哈哈)
【思維拓展】文物歷史類
Cultural relics 文化遺產
Historical sites歷史古蹟
National identity國家/民族身份
Be negatively affected exotic cultural factors 受外來文化的影響
♦ may not write in paragraphs, orparagraphing may be inadequate
【對策】
分段要注意:
1.開頭要空幾格,再開始寫作,不要頂格寫作。
2.分段最好是分4-5段,之後會詳細地講一些分段的內容。
【6分】
♦ arranges information and ideas coherently and there is a clear overall progression
【對策】和5分對應的那一點基本一樣。
♦ uses cohesive devices effectively, but cohesion within and/or between sentences may be faulty or mechanical
· 基本上做到了正確地使用連接詞。
· 有些連接詞可能是有問題的,或者是不靈活的,但是這種情況出現得很少。
【對策】和5分對應的那一點基本一樣。
♦ may not always use referencing clearly or appropriately;
舉例:
It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums, since it would increase a sense of national identity. Firstly, the protection of those cultural relics would arouse the interest of the public, which means that people may consider the importance of preserving them.
提問:這裡的them指的是什麼????指的是people,還是cultural relics????
這時候就出現了指代不明的情況,them可能指的是People,也有可能指的是cultural relics,因此出現了代詞歧義。
【對策】
在此處,考生最好使用同義詞替換來避免這種問題。
舉例:
It is high time that the government and citizens should protect cultural heritages such as old walls or museums, since it would increase a sense of national identity. Firstly, the protection of those cultural relics would arouse the interest of the public, which means that people may consider the importance of preserving those valuable assets.
♦ uses paragraphing, but not always logically
【對策】和5分對應的那一點基本一樣。
【7分】
♦ logically organises information and ideas; there is clear progression throughout
· 有邏輯地組織信息。
· 有一個清晰的推進。
♦ uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under-/over-use
· Cohesive device可以做到廣泛使用。
· 可能偶爾會出現使用過少或者使用過多的情況,但是整體問題不大。
♦ presents a clear central topic within each paragraph
【對策】同5分和6分的對策,不斷完善自己的文章,善於發現自己的問題並且總結,改正。
B/大作文的分類
1 觀點類作文
「Some people… while others …. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.」
「To what extent do you agree or disagree?」
「Do the positive effects outweigh the negative effects?」
2 非觀點類作文
「what are the reasons and consequences of xxxx?」
「what are the causes and what can be done to solve theproblem?」
「what problem does it have and what are the solutions?」
3 特殊作文(比較難的,隨便舉了個例子)
【此作文的分析會在下一次寫作的推送中講到】
「who should be responsible for the issue of xxxxx, the government, the society, or individuals?」
C/大作文的結構以及每個結構的具體寫法
1 開頭段(2-3句話為宜)
1)改寫背景句(作文題目的開頭一般會有一個背景句,考生要改寫這個背景句,作為background information)
舉例,拿一個真題為例:
Reported on IELTS June 8th 【space exploration】
In the future, people may have to live on other planets(背景句). Some think that is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
改寫(paraphrase,我自己寫的,你們可以寫得更好)
The Earth(注意大寫)has been under severe threats(嚴重的威脅)in these years, such as global warming and the outbreak of Coronavirus(注意拼寫;而且,不可以寫COVID-19,學術寫作中是不可以出現縮寫的), so living on other planets may be anideal option for humans.
2)改寫背景句後面的句子(根據具體的題目來改寫)
繼續拿舉例的內容來改寫:
Reported on IELTS June 8th 【space exploration】
In the future, people may have to live on other planets. Some think that it is therefore important to spend money researching other planets such as Mars.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The Earth has been under severe threats in these years, such as global warming and the outbreak of Coronavirus, so living on other planetsmay be an ideal option for humans. Hence, some individuals hold the view that (think在這裡是可以用的,但是,在全文裡,最好只用一兩次,不然LR的分會比較低) the spending on space exploration is quite meaningful.
【思維拓展】space exploration 太空拓展
大量但是不必要的開支:substantial but unnecessary expenses
訓練太空人:trainand educate astronauts
技術問題:technological challenges
【改寫】
· 多積累素材,多積累同義詞
· 靈活改寫,改寫的過程中要注意有些詞可能中文是一樣的,但是英文就不一樣了;句子的結構也可以更加靈活(上面的例子中it做形式主語就改成了主謂賓。)
3)表態/銜接
支持:
The Earth has been under severe threats in these years, such as global warming and the outbreak of Coronavirus, so living on other planets may be an ideal option for humans. Hence, some individuals hold the view that the spending on space exploration is quite meaningful. The writer agrees withthis opinion, xxxxxx(可以陳述一下簡單的理由,也可以不陳述).
反對:
Although xxxxx, for me, it is not wise/…..(否定的句式)
【人稱的使用】
· 在學術寫作中不能出現we,或者you(尤其是在那種fyp等級的文章中!這是很低級的問題!);me,I這種在合適的情況下出現是沒有問題的。
· 我個人喜歡把I改成the writer,在中文裡面是「筆者」的意思,會顯得客觀一點。雖然我之前找外教改作文,有的外教不太喜歡用the writer而給我打了很低的分,但是第二次第三次寫作我都用了,都是6.5。the writer的使用還是看考生的習慣囖。
關於非觀點類作文的第三部分——「銜接」(由於非觀點類作文多半是給建議,分析問題的,這時候就是銜接句):
舉例:This essay will focus on the issue of xxxxx/will analyze the problem of xxx comprehensively…./will examine the reasons of xxxx ……. as below….
2 中間段(一般是2-3段來表達自己的觀點/或者是陳述問題與原因)
中間段的寫法其實和大一英語課學寫paragraph的套路是基本一樣的,由這三個部分組成。
1)topic sentence
Topic sentence的寫作:main idea+controlling idea。
公式:A, conj.(連詞) B.
一般寫一個作文的觀點的時候,需要理由來支撐,這時候就需要用到表示因果關係的連詞:
接句子:as,because, since…….
接短語:because of, due to, owing to, thanks to……
*公式中A和B的內容要很有邏輯,緊密聯繫,不然會有跑題或者不扣題的嫌疑,在CC方面會扣分。
2)supporting details
Supporting details很重要,是關於論證的,論證topic sentence;對於非觀點類作文,supporting details是對topic sentence的進一步,細節的闡釋。
一些比較好的論證結構:
【deductive reasoning and inductive reasoning】(比較高級的論證方法)
Deductive reasoning演繹法:由一般到特殊
Inductive reasoning歸納法:由特殊到一般
(此方法難度有點大,會在之後的推文中講到這兩種方法。)
【串聯法】(比較入門級的論證方法,保險一點)
*基本的結構:
Topic sentence + reason,
中心句和理由(自己的觀點,加上理由)
further explanation of topic sentence and reason,
進一步地解釋中心句和理由
examples,
舉例子
the consequences of the example/reasons to explain the example,
例子的後果/一些關於這個例子的原因(要和之前舉的例子建立深厚的聯繫,這樣可以加強邏輯性)/對比
1後果(cause and effect):解釋清楚自己舉的例子的後果。
2 原因:原因要緊扣題目。
3對比:可以拉踩一下,「如果這麼做,如果不這麼做,會…..」/「做A會…,但是做B會……」
concluding sentence.
結論句
寫法:
1(最簡單的)paraphrase:改寫topic sentence。
2(稍微簡單一點)的:根據topicsentence來給出建議(suggestions)。
3 (比較難)預測或者是寫一寫某個觀點的結果
Eg.未成年人是否該帶手機?
Juveniles are not allowed to bring their cellphones to campus, since they lack self-control. Xxxxx ….. ….. To conclude, this phenomenon would cause the negative effect of xxxxxx(預測/某個觀點的結果).
舉例(我的一個6.5分作文的節選,寫的不是最好的,但是大家可以參考我這個模板框架,寫出更好的作文。)
題目:Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or to work in a foreign country. Others say thatthese are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
xxxxxxx(開頭段),
On the one hand, some believe that citizens acquire a foreign language only to travel or to work in a different nation.【topic sentence】This is because they only think that learning it could bring great convenience to them【supporting details】.By mastering it, the communication efficiency will significantly increase【更進一步的解釋前兩個內容】. For instance, for a person who works in a company with members from another country(用state來代替country會更加好,讓LR更高分), if he or she learns the corresponding language["tongue"更好]and use it to communicate with them, work efficiency will be improved, compared with the situation where the person does not understand it, by reducing language knowledge gaps【舉例+原因/consequences】. Thus, some individuals focus on the pragmatically useful characteristic of learning a foreign language, which leads to the view, that the only reason for studying a foreign language is to travel or work in foreign countries much easier【總結句,paraphrase,比較簡單的concluding寫法】.
【思維拓展】學習語言acquire languages
Master a tongue 學習一門語言
Cultural shock 文化震撼
Cross-cultural management跨文化管理
Multinational corporations 跨國公司
Create a placid atmosphere創造和諧的氛圍
3)concluding paragraph
Concluding paragraph寫1-2句為好,不宜多說。
【方法】
1.第一句總結全文的核心觀點:
一定要paraphrase!paraphrase!paraphrase!不要照抄原文!!!不然CC和LR會很低!!!
2.對核心觀點做出後果/預測內容(時間比較緊的話,可以忽略此處,有時候考官覺得不寫這一句話也是OK的。當然時間夠的話一定要寫這一句話)
這裡和寫concluding sentence的寫法是基本一樣的。
例子(上一篇文章的最後一段):
To conclude, some advocates put strong emphasis on only the practicability of learning a foreign language, while others believe that theseare not the sole justifications for a person to learn a second or third language, and there are deeper rationalizations for that. Personally, thewriter agrees with the latter opinion because acquiring other languages also has other further meanings, such as creating a placid atmosphere(當時時間比較緊,就總結了全文的核心掛點,沒有做出後果或者其他預測內容。).
另一篇我寫的關於家庭教育與懲罰主題的作文(應該只有5.5,寫得不夠好,但是框架是基本符合的,只是那篇作文LR問題比較大。)
To conclude, I totallyconsider that[D1] itis necessary to utilize punishimentpunishment as an effective way to teach children to tell rights from wrongs, but such punishimentpunishmentmustbe reasonable and appropriate when parents and educators apply it【總結核心觀點】.If appropriate punishment is given to children, they would better understandthe importance of positive behaviour【做出預測】.
今天的內容乾貨滿滿,希望大家可以慢慢地吸收,在寫作的實踐中不斷發現自己的問題,解決自己的問題,讓自己的寫作不斷地進步,寫作一定7!
來源:《劍橋雅思》的部分原題,以及歷次考試的雅思寫作task2真題,寫作的部分全都是我本人在備考期間親自寫的;圖片基本上都來源百度圖片。