文章作者、圖片 | Jay Lambeth
翻譯、打雜 | 蚊子莫非
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「我不喜歡人多。」
自2010年我搬到中國以來，日常生活中總是有不同的好奇寶寶問著我同樣的問題。在一次又一次地聽到同樣的問題之後，我慢慢地開始形成了一套即刻迅速的條件反射般的回答，這樣的回答來的如此迅速和簡單直接，足以讓發問者們停止關於這類問題的所有進一步的詢問。
我已經數不清有多少次被問到「你去過我們的首都北京嗎?」這個問題了。因此，隨著時間的推移，我也想出了針對該提問的簡單直接的回答：
「沒去過。我不喜歡人多。」
奇怪的是，提問者們總是禮貌地點頭表示「嗯」，似乎表示同意我的看法。但現在，由於一個相當令人興奮的機會，刷新了我對北京的刻板印象。北京一點都不擁擠。我的意思是，北京並不比世界上其他任何一個巨型城市更擁擠。事實上，和我在深圳和香港的時候相比，北京真的很平靜。我現在看到了媒體對北京的歪曲報導。我以前看到的都是人滿為患的長城的照片，烏泱泱的人群擠在臺階上寸步難移，感覺一半的中國人都塞在這裡了。然後還有故宮、紫禁城，似乎很碰巧另一半的中國人也在這裡扎堆。然而事實根本不是這樣，至少我看到的北京不是這樣的……
「I don’t like crowds.」
After living in the glorious PR of C since 2010, you start to be asked the same questions by differing souls whilst going about your day to day routine. And after hearing the same questions time and time again, it becomes useful to have an immediate, machine gun quick, go-to answer to whip out with blazing speed and cease all further lines of questioning regarding such matters. I couldn’t imagine the number of times I』ve been asked 「have you been to our capital city, Beijing?,」 and therefore over time I』d figured out my machine gun answer. 「No. I don’t like crowds.」 Strangely enough, this never ceased to be met with the courteous nod and knowing 「mmmm」 from said questioners. But now, thanks to a rather exciting opportunity I was given, I know different. Beijing isn’t crowded at all. I mean, no more than any other humongous world city. In fact, compared to my part of China, being Shenzhen and Hongkers, it’s really quite equanimous. I now see how Beijing is really quite misrepresented in the media. All I』d seen before was nightmarish photos of the great wall, usually with about half the people of China all huddled in the same spot. Or the Forbidden City, coincidentally housing the other half. But this is not the case at all, or at least, it wasn’t how I saw things…
(p.s.: 欲進一步閱讀關於我毫無感情的回答機器，請瀏覽前一篇文章不是所有躊躇的人都迷失了方向 Not all those who wander, are lost）
*Side note: for further reading on machine gun answers, please take a peek at the previous article
不是所有躊躇的人都迷失了方向 Not all those who wander, are lost
在這之前，我從來沒有去過北京，僅僅因為兩個原因：
1. 時間和金錢的難題。要麼有時間沒錢，要麼有錢沒時間。今年我其實有很多時間，但是.你懂得。
2. 在中國，國內旅行可不便宜。當你著手為機票、住宿、飲食以及購買垃圾紀念品做旅行預算時，你能去到的不是方圓幾公裡就是方圓幾千公裡的地方了。這就是為什麼我去過柬埔寨、越南、菲律賓和日本很多次，卻從沒去哈爾濱參加過冰燈節的原因。哦，對了，當然還有一個原因，那裡天氣太冷了，我曾是一隻來自北方的狼，在中國的南方被寵成了一隻哈士奇，我無法再適應北方的寒冷了。
I』d never been to Beijing before, purely because of only 2 such reasons;
1. The time/money conundrum. If you』ve got the time, you haven’t got the money, and vice versa. (This year I』ve had a lot of time and… well... you know...)
2. Travelling in China IS NOT cheap. When you budget for flights, a reasonable hotel to hang your hat, food and beers and buying terribly rubbish souvenirs, you can quite literally visit anywhere within a couple thousand kilometre radius. Hence why I』ve been to Cambodia, Vietnam, Philippines and Japan a bunch of times, but never once been to the Harbin ice festival. (Oh, and that it’s bloody cold and I’m a real pussy now in cold weather.)
但是，上天向我投出了幸運的橄欖枝，給了我一個在北京停留10天的機會，教授一些關於攝影知識的課程的同時，並有幸好好感受這座宏偉首都的風景和氣息。可是，我對北京到底了解多少呢？我看到很多關於北京胡同的照片，我真的也很想去那裡拍一些照片。還有長城，紫禁城，遊客，各種遊客。老闆在那裡發冷。我所知道的就這些。因此，在中秋黃金周，我收拾好行李，跳上了一架飛往首都北京的飛機。朋友們，這算是我的旅行日誌，記錄了我這幾天的經歷。但首先，坐飛機，歐漏！我不太喜歡坐飛機。我對乘坐飛機感覺很不舒服，甚至有點害怕。首先，我真的不喜歡和陌生人關在一個密閉的小空間裡一起吃飯、咳嗽、挖鼻孔、睡覺時還流哈喇子。然而，最糟糕的還是空間問題。作為一個身高196的大高個兒，在任何一架飛機上坐了幾個小時後，都會開始感到全身酸痛。光是想到得試圖以某種方式把自己擠進只有自己身材3/4的空間裡，我就已經有了牴觸情緒。當然，你也可以另外加錢換一個更寬敞的座位，讓你的大長腿有足夠伸展的空間，但這也是讓我很憤怒的一點！航空公司怎麼可以如此不合理地收取額外的費用？！這是高個子的歧視。我又不是那種體形龐大到需要買三個座位的大塊頭，我只是天生個子就高而已。這該死的飛機空間過於狹窄，不適合我不說，還覺得我多花一點錢讓自己舒服些是應該的。不好意思，是不是高個子的薪水更高？我們在處理身高劣勢時能得到年終獎金嗎？我希望有一天世界上的航空公司能多摸摸他們的良心會不會痛，而不是只關注錢包鼓不鼓囊。
好吧，我離題了，言歸正傳，接著聊聊我的北京之行。
But the heavens smiled upon my lowly self, and offered me the chance to go stay in Beijing for 10 days, to help teach some photography and take in the sights and smells of the magnificent capital. But what did I actually know about Beijing? I』d seen pictures of the hutongs and I really wanted to go take some photos there. The Great wall, Forbidden City tourists tourists tourists. Boss man chills there. And that was about it. So for the golden week mid autumn maxo relaxo I packed my case and jumped on a plane. And this, my friends, is my travel journal of how it all went. But first, *side note; Planes. I don’t like flying much. I get a bit sick and a bit scared and I really don’t like being caged up with strangers eating, coughing, picking their noses and dribbling as they sleep. But the worst thing is the size issue. I’m 196 tall. After a couple of hours on any flight I start to get painfully achy, trying to somehow squeeze myself into a space designed for someone 3/4 of my size. Yes you can pay for extra leg room, but this is what makes my blood boil. How can airlines legally justify charging extra to discriminate against tall people? It’s not like I’m some cake monster who needs to buy 3 seats because for their width, I’m just naturally bloody tall. Your damn plane doesn’t fit me and you think I should pay more to be somewhat comfortable. I’m sorry, do tall people earn more salary?! Do we get a yearly bonus for dealing with height disadvantages? I hope one day the world’s airlines will think a little more with their heart and a little less with their wallets. But I digress.
抵達美麗的北京機場後，我立即被接送到行程的第一站：房山營地。
剛開始的幾天，我們將與幾位非常可愛的VVIP攝影女學生一起度過。我們在樹林中歡快地漫步，嗅著花香，沐浴在秋日的陽光下。在向這些愛好攝影的女士們傳授攝影知識的同時，隨意地拍下幾張照片，真的太棒了！在我空曠的心靈深處，有一個遙遠的小角落，我想起了「豪華露營」這個詞。這在世界各地都很流行，有點像是介於住酒店和住帳篷之間。有暖氣、自助餐和wifi的絕佳戶外環境。（當然，豪華露營又被稱為「懦夫的露營」）。我本來就是個弱雞，所以豪華露營聽起來就很棒。就像世界各地的其他人們一樣，花費相當大的一筆錢來享受所謂的豪華野營，並告訴別人「歐親愛的，你感覺與大自然如此親近！這簡直太棒了！」而實際上，他們一整天也不過都是在大口喝酒，有一搭沒一搭地閒聊，對著黃蜂尖叫，吃一吃烤蝦。不完全是《荒野求生》的貝爺。不過，我也不是貝爺，也不想「跟著貝爺去冒險」，我更像帕丁頓熊。但可怕的是，我的假設中有一個小問題。我們的「豪華露營」忘記冠上「豪華」二字，只剩下平平無奇的「露營」：沒有WiFi，沒有自助餐，有的只是像足球一樣大的包子，凍得像要結冰的淋浴。更讓人無語的是，傻白甜+鐵憨憨如我，竟然沒有帶一件保暖的衣服…….
After arriving in the big beautiful BJ airport I was immediately whisked away to the first leg of the trip; Campsite. The first few days were to be spent there with some lovely VVIP lady photo students, wandering gaily amongst the trees and sniffing the flowers, basking in the Autumn sunshine and casually snapping off some frames whilst passing on morsels of knowledge to these keen camera girls. Wonderful. Somewhere in the far corners of my mostly empty mind I recollected the expression 「glamping.」 This was becoming quite a thing around the world, kind of halfway between staying at a hotel and in a tent. The great outdoors with heaters, outdoor buffets and wifi (a.k.a camping for wimps.) I am a wimp, and glamping sounded magnificent. People around the globe pay reasonably large chunks of change for glamping, telling others how 「darling, you feel so close to nature」 when in all actuality they spent the day glugging wine, gossiping, screaming at wasps and eating barbecued shrimp. Not exactly Bear Grylls, but hey, I’m not exactly Bear Grylls either. I’m more like Paddington bear. But horror, there was a small problem in my assumptions. Our glamping had forgotten the 「GL」 and just had a plain old 「C.」 No WiFi, No buffet (but Baozi big as footballs.) Stone cold showers. And some absolutely brain dead chimpanzee hadn’t packed warm clothes….
離開深圳之前我特意檢查了一下北京未來一周的天氣。白天，大約25度。好嘞，所以深圳白天的溫度大概在29度左右，晚上的溫度在24度左右。如果北京白天的溫度是25度，那麼晚上的溫度一定在20度左右吧。完美！（是的，我知道你現在在想什麼，也幾乎可以聽到你隔著手機屏幕的嘲笑聲）嗯，我非常同意你的觀點，我真的是蠢到家了。我們的營地白天很暖和，甚至有點熱。但是第一個晚上，以及之後的連續幾個晚上，我像一隻凍僵了的大蝦，蜷縮在比我還短30釐米的睡袋裡，取暖全靠瑟瑟發抖。
I checked the weather before I left Shenzhen. Beijing, around 25 degress, daytime. Right. So, Shenzhen is around 29 degrees daytime, and around 24 or so at night. So if Beijing is 25 degrees daytime, it must be around 20 at night. Perfect. (Yes, I can almost hear what you’re thinking now. And yes I agree with you, I am often really unfathomably stupid.) The daytimes at our camp were warm, even hot. But that first night, and the successive nights after, I was like a giant frozen prawn, shivering in my sleeping bag meant for someone 30cm shorter than I. Being sleepless because you are so cold is really no fun at all, I sincerely do not recommend it.
但是，對我親愛的讀者來說，第三個晚上更有趣。白天有風，非常冷，天氣預報說有「大風」。「哦，天哪，風真大。我們吃了晚飯，白天的課程結束了，我決定在營地周圍走走，放鬆一下，喝兩杯啤酒。我發現了一家用大帳篷搭建的小酒吧，酒吧外面一塊用床單臨時搭建的投影屏幕上正播放著《樂隊的夏天2》。啤酒相當贊贊贊，但價格也是貴貴貴。我在那裡放鬆了一會兒，和酒吧可愛的女孩聊聊天，一邊喝著啤酒一邊看著樂夏。終於，算是緩解了一下前幾天的不適，感覺好多了。過了一會兒，剛剛提到的夜間有「大風」開始抬頭了，開始呼呼地颳了起來，慢慢地，越來越大，向我們露出了它的獠牙。我聽到外面的人們開始大聲呼叫，那一廂的帳篷，像一個空塑膠袋一樣被大風吹走了。這一廂的酒吧帳篷似乎也想加入它的朋友們，在大風中搖搖晃晃。所以酒吧女孩和我抓住帳篷的釘子和繩子，用力地敲打，試圖固定好帳篷，好像一邊固定好了，另一邊又在蠢蠢欲動。這種情況持續了大約一個小時。最後，酒吧的女孩決定把帳篷拆掉了，不然太危險了。我在一旁幫她把它打包，然後想最好還是回我自己的住處去。在回來的路上，我時不時停下來幫助那些帳篷都要掀飛到全國各地的人們。這是你該做的，如果你看到需要幫助的人，你就幫助他們。對吧？
But, much to my dear readers』 amusement, the third night was even more fun than that. The daytime had been windy, chilly, and the weather report had warned of 「big wind.」 Oh dear, big wind. We』d had dinner, my day’s lesson was done, and I decided to take a walk around the campsite, ease down and have a couple of beers. I found a large bar-tent thing, showing 「the big band」 on a bed sheet from a projector. The beer was good (but pricey) and I relaxed there for a while, talking to the sweet bar girl, sipping my brew and taking in the music. Super. Finally, I was feeling good. After some time, the aforementioned 「big wind」 picked up. And picked up some more. And more. People outside started shouting as tents were taking off, flying into the yonder, blown away like empty plastic bags. The beer tent wanted to join his friends, so bar girl and I grabbed the pegs and ropes, hammered down the corners, it felt like as soon as one side was secure the other side wanted to take off. This went on for about an hour possibly. Bar girl decided it was time to take the tent down, this was getting too risky. I helped her pack it up, then thought it best to make my way back to my own quarters. Along the way back I stopped to help people whose tents were all attempting flights across country. That’s what you do, right? If you see people that need help, you help them.
過了一段時間，我回到了我自己的帳篷城堡，謝天謝地，它基本上還在原來的地方。我爬進去，感激著這樣大風的夜裡上天還是決定賜給我一個可以睡覺的地方。我掙扎著鑽進狹小的睡袋裡，多虧了風聲（我喜歡暴風雨和風聲），再加上兩瓶啤酒後的微醺，我很快就睡著了。好的，接下來發生的畫面請各位親愛的讀者們充分地發揮自己的想像力腦補，這段經歷這份記憶將會伴隨我很多年：
回想一下電影《鐵達尼號》的場景，有些人正躺在床上，夢想著到遙遠的土地上進行一次夢幻般的航行，這時他們的世界被一艘巨輪「俯衝」了下來（說「俯衝」絕對毫不誇張地說）。這就是我的遭遇。我像一條髒褲子被丟進滾筒洗衣機裡攪動一般地被驚醒後，整個世界都完全顛倒了，我的行李，衣服，鞋子，攝影器材像冰雹一樣雜在我身上，就像我被颶風颳了起來一樣，被扔來扔去。只是幾分鐘的功夫，我的臉上掛著一雙兩天前穿過的髒襪子。這還不是更糟的，人們在聽到我那充滿「男子氣概」的尖叫後都跑過來幫忙，由於我當時非常難過，事實上，是過度驚嚇，那一瞬間我感覺整個人都快被嚇尿了，我提高了嗓門對著大家「口吐蓮花」。現在回想起來真的很抱歉。我的東西找到了，收拾好了，我哭著偷偷溜到車裡睡覺去了。（我，一個身高196的堂堂男子漢，哭哭唧唧地蜷縮在一輛小型日本家庭汽車的後座上，試圖用摺紙的方式讓自己睡上去，這個體驗我一點也不推薦。）p.s.: 這麼多年來，很多人都說我是小題大做的人。這不是我，但我承認，我是一個很情緒化的人。我很容易一開心就笑，也容易因感動或難過而哭。我也很容易發脾氣，發完脾氣也很容易感到愧疚。我向那些在這種時候不得不和我打交道的人道歉。
After some time I made it back to my own day-glo inflatable castle of a tent, which thankfully was still pretty much in the same place. I climbed in, grateful that big wind had decided to bless me with a place of slumber. I wrestled my way into the too-small sleeping bag, and thanks to the sound of the wind (I love the sounds of storms and wind) and the several pricey beers I』d partaken of, drifted quickly off. Blissful sleep. Now, what happened next has to be imagined by the dear reader, but its memory will stay with me for some years. Think back to the movie Titanic; Some people were in their beds, dreaming of fantastical voyages to far-off lands, when their world was turned upside down (quite literally) by the big boat taking a nose dive. Well, that’s what happened to me. I was woken by the feeling akin to being a pair of dirty pants in a washing machine. My world was also quite literally upside down, and my camping stuff, clothes, shoes, camera gear at al was raining down on me like I was churned up in a hurricane. Being thrown around, even for just a few moments, with a face full of 2 day old worn socks is not something you should wish on your worst enemy. People came to help after hearing my macho screams, and due to being upset and, in truth, momentarily really bloody scared, I raised my voice a bit and swore at people, and for that I’m truly sorry. My belongings were found and gathered, and I weepily skulked off to go sleep in the car. (Me, 196 tall, trying to origami myself to sleep on the back seat of a small Japanese family car. This I also do not recommend.) *Side note; Over the years many, many people have called me a drama queen. This I am not, but by my own admission, I am very emotional. I laugh easily. I cry kinda easily. I can lose my temper kinda easily and I’m very sorry kinda easily. I apologise to those who』ve had to deal with me during such times.
第二天是露營的最後一天。早上我給我的VVIP學員上完最後一節課，哈利路亞，是時候回到城市，依偎在一個不錯的酒店大床溫暖的懷抱裡了。在酒店，終於洗了這幾天裡的第一次熱水澡，我感覺自己就像個罪人重生到這個世界上，我骯髒的身體的每一寸都被溫暖的肥皂天使親吻著。我非常想睡個午覺，在過去的4個晚上，我幾乎沒有睡覺。但我聽到窗外城市的甜美音調在召喚我。如果我現在睡午覺，我估計會一覺睡到天亮。所以，我噸噸噸地喝了一杯黑咖啡代替打盹兒，通常我是一個不喝咖啡的人，太多的咖啡因攝入會使我全身發抖。但這是我需要的原力，讓我強打起精神走到戶外，到街上。我抓起相機出了門。我差不多走了幾公裡，我非常喜歡路上所看到的東西。雖然天色漸晚，但街道上還很熱鬧，下班回家的人們，和朋友說說笑笑的人們，在餐館、麵包店、咖啡館、麵館排隊的人們，還有遛狗的人們……感覺這裡的生活節奏比深圳慢很多。人們玩得很開心，相見甚歡，不是為了與客戶開會，也不是為了匆匆趕回家大吃一通外賣的垃圾食品。陌生的人衝著我微笑著打招呼，一位警官很有禮貌地和我打招呼，握了握我的手說:「很高興見到你。」有幾個人為我，也為彼此扶著門。最初的幾個小時是最先的暗示，當它發生時，你的肚子裡有一種毛茸茸的粉紅色泡泡般的感覺：我有點喜歡上北京了。
The next day was the final day of camp. I had my morning lesson with my super VVIP lady, and hallelujah it was time to go back to the city and snuggle in the warm bosom of a nice hotel. That first hot shower in there felt like I was a sinner being reborn into the world, every inch of my dirty frame was being kissed by warm soapy angels. I desperately wanted to take a nap. I』d barely slept for the last 4 nights, but I could hear the sweet tones of the city beckoning me outside. If I nap now, I』ll be dead to the world until tomorrow. Instead of a nap I had a black coffee (usually I’m a de-caf guy, too much caffeine makes me shake) but this was the fuel I needed to get myself outdoors, to the streets. I grabbed my camera, and I walked. I walked miles. And I loved what I saw. Although it was nearly dark the streets were still alive, people making their way home from work, others laughing with friends and queueing for restaurants, bakeries, cafes, noodle shops, people walking dogs. Life felt a little slower than Shenzhen. People were enjoying themselves. They were meeting for fun, for pleasure, not for business meetings with clients or hurrying home to gorge on delivered rubbish food. Strangers smiled and said hello. A police officer talked to me very politely, shook my hand and said 「it’s nice to meet you.」 Several people held the door open for me, and for each other. These first few hours was the initial hint, the bubbly fuzzy butterfly feeling in your tummy you get when it happens. I’m a little bit in love with Beijing.
第二天早上我起得很早，這是我真正第一天遊覽這個城市。我本來想去體驗一下胡同，在颶風露營的時候，我認識一個叫Toby的超級酷小夥建議我一定要去這裡。他出生在胡同裡，所以我覺得沒有比Toby更適合的人來給我出謀獻策了。我乘坐的那趟地鐵感覺有點像倫敦的地鐵，有點老舊而且搖搖晃晃。深圳地鐵當然是很新的，非常乾淨，就像深圳本身一樣。另一個不同之處在於，北京地鐵上的保安才是我認知裡保安應該有的樣子。他們像士兵一樣在每趟列車上巡邏，對著那些把口罩拉到鼻子底下的人們吼道「請把口罩戴好」。（為什麼總有一些自私的人總是不顧他人的安全呢？）他們看起來就像保安，他們長得又高又壯，有點像真人鬥牛犬。深圳地鐵的很多保安看起來就像瘦楊柳，感覺你用吹風機就可以把他們吹倒。想著想著，我來到了第一個胡同區域。這時候，在我的腦海裡已經有了這樣一個畫面：一些破舊的棚戶區，幾乎仍然矗立在世界上最富有和最偉大的城市之一的中央。老人們在泥濘的小路上跑來跑去，好像時間已經凍結了五十年。
哦，事實是，我大錯特錯錯了……
The next morning I was up early, this was my first day to explore the city. I』d wanted to go experience the Hutongs, and a super cool guy named Toby at the big wind camp had suggested where I go. He was born in the Hutongs, so I couldn’t have wished for a better person to advise me. The metro journey there felt a little like the tube in London, a bit old and shaky. The Shenzhen metro is of course new and very clean, just like Shenzhen itself. Another difference being that guards on the Beijing metro actually looked and felt like how guards should behave. They patrolled each carriage like soldiers, barking at those whose face mask was pulled down below their nose. (Why do those selfish people refuse to help keep everyone safe? Ugh….) And they actually looked like security guards. They were bulky, strong, a bit like human bulldogs. A lot of the Shenzhen metro security guards look like skinny willows who would blow over if you pointed a hairdryer at them. I arrived at the first Hutong area. Now, in my mind I』d built up this mental image of some run down old shanty town shacks, barely still standing in the middle of one of the worlds wealthiest and greatest cities. Old people scurrying around dirt track paths, like time had frozen still for 50 years. Oh how wrong could I be…
那天我不慌不忙地在四五個胡同裡又走了好幾公裡。這些胡同太迷人了，雖然有些有點老舊，狹窄的小巷像迷宮一樣，但都保持得很好，而且非常乾淨。有些變成了小商店，甚至是古董店，有些變成了咖啡館、餐館，甚至是紋身店。這裡的居民又禮貌又熱情，總是面帶微笑地答應我拍照。說實話，我有點失望。我曾幻想著時光倒流，而現在我身處奔馳車和設計工作室之中。我想要探索更多，或者更少。北京胡同真的很棒，這是我一次極好的經歷，也是度過一天非常有趣的方式。但如果你想尋找破舊的老住宅區，我可以帶你看看深圳，這裡有更好（差）的地方，真的。那天晚上，我被邀請和三位優雅的女士用餐，我們去了墨西哥餐廳，吃了很好吃的墨西哥菜，在深圳可能要花多兩倍的價錢。
明天，2號露營地：長城。
That day I took my time and again walked miles upon miles, around 4 or 5 areas of Hutongs. And they were nothing less than charming. Some were a little bit old but all looked strong as an ox, narrow alleyways like a labyrinth, but all very well kept and extremely clean. Some were converted to small shops and even boutiques, some were cafes, eateries, even a tattoo shop. Again, the residents were polite and welcoming, always agreeing with a smile for me to take some photos. Truth be told, I was a tiny little bit disappointed. I』d had visions of travelling back in time, and here I was amongst Mercedes cars and graphic design studios. I wanted more (or less, actually.) The Hutongs were great, a superb experience and a very interesting way to spend a day, but if you’re in search of run down old housing areas I can show you much better/worse here in Shenzhen, truly. That evening I was invited out for dinner, and enjoyed mexican food that would be twice the price here in Shenzhen, with three divine ladies. Tomorrow; camp number 2; The Great Wall.
這是一個考驗：給十幾個孩子上三天的攝影課。正如我之前提到的，我其實真的很喜歡孩子。或者換句話說，我喜歡好孩子。在一群小朋友中，總有一兩個人來瘋的小怪物。但是，和他們在一起僅僅幾小時後，我意識到老天又一次向我投來了愛的橄欖枝，他們都是真正令人敬畏的小傢伙。其中一個女孩用完美的英語向我解釋了水中的植物如何進行光合作用。當其他人都在玩手機遊戲時，她正在讀《簡·奧斯汀》，並給了我一篇關於這本書和其他一些經典小說的簡明書評。當我像她那麼大的時候，我還是個只會捂個屁往朋友臉上放然後笑得像個傻子的小屁孩。我和小傢伙們一起爬了長城，它的巨大階梯陡峭到足以讓我這個來自城市的紳士疝氣。p.s.:第一次看到長城時，我有一種非同尋常的感覺，最好的形容方式是我被徹底地感動了。看到這麼古老、這麼宏偉的建築，你會停下腳步，忍不住驚奇地看著它。我在參觀英格蘭的巨石陣的時候也有同樣的感覺。這真是個謎。我們在當地的一個小村莊徒步，吃吃零食，拍拍照，孩子們在大自然裡盡情的釋放著用不完的精力。我們住在長城腳下一個豪華的小別墅裡，每個房間都有好吃的食物和暖氣，床大到可以睡三個人（可惜我沒有機會嘗試）。日子過得太快了，又到了要離開的時候，我並不是一個人感到有點難過，但這一切都結束了。巴士把我們送回了城裡，我們擁抱道別，美好的露營之旅就這樣結束了。和孩子們在一起的那幾天，還有像媽媽一樣照顧孩子們的生活老師，還有另一位談笑風生的女攝影師，這些都將是我在中國最快樂的回憶之一。那天晚上，我和一位從上海過來的朋友在一起喝咖啡聊聊天，徑直回酒店的路上我居然還迷路了。我喝了一些啤酒，然後像喝醉了的熊一樣睡著了。
Now this was going to be the test; Teaching photography for 3 days, with a dozen kids. As I』ve mentioned previously, I do really like kids. Or should I rephrase, I like good kids. In a gang/pack of a dozen young ones, there’s always a few crazy little monsters. But, after only a few hours with them I realised that once again the heavens had smiled down upon me, and they were all really awesome little people. One of the girls explained to me, in flawless English, how photosynthesis works with underwater plants. As the others were playing video games on their phones, she was reading Jane Austin and gave me a concise book review on that and some other classic novels. (When I was her age I was laughing uncontrollably at farting on my friends.) We did the wall and it’s gigantic steps that are steep enough to give this city gentleman a hernia.*Side note; Upon seeing the Great Wall for the first time I had a rather unusual feeling, best way to describe it as being moved. To see something that old, that majestic, is one of those times you stop and just look on in wonder. I had the same sensation at Stonehenge in England. Now that’s a real enigma. We strolled around a local small village, ate nuts, took photos and watched the kids turn into sugar bombs as they filled themselves up on candy and sodas. We stayed in a gorgeous little guest house villa kinda place at the foot of the Great Wall, with good food, heating in each room and a bed big enough for 3 people (which I unfortunately didn’t get chance to try.) The days passed all too quickly, and when It was time to leave I wasn’t alone in feeling a little sad it was all over. The bus dropped us off back in the city, we had our goodbye hugs, and that was that. Those few days, with the kids, and the organiser lady who was like an adorable mother hen, and the other lady photographer who was so great to talk and laugh with, will be among the happiest memories of my time in China. That evening I met with a ravishing Shanghai friend of mine for catch up chats over coffee. I got lost walking in a straight line. I drank some superb imported beers, and I slept like a tipsy bear.
不知不覺，已經是星期五了。我回家的時間是周六下午，所以我還有一整天的時間去多看看這個地方，我現在已經徹底被它迷住了。那天我和另一位出色的攝影師朋友約好見面，她好心地提議帶我參觀798藝術區。我們花了一天的時間在裡面散步和聊天，討論從社會經濟到方便麵的一切事情。我們舉著比利時啤酒乾杯，我們買了一些書和紀念品，我們走進一家萊卡相機店，逛了一圈看了一下價格標籤都覺得別說買不起了，連看都看不起裡面的相機。時間一小時一小時地過去了，我們互道再見，白天就不知不覺地消失在黑暗中了。
Before I knew it, it was Friday. My flight back home was Saturday afternoon, so I had a full day ahead to take in a little more of this place that, I was, by now, really quite mesmerized by. I』d arranged to meet another fantastic photographer friend of mine for the day, and she』d kindly offered to guide me around the 798 art area. We spent the day walking and talking, discussing everything from social economics to soup noodles. We said cheers over Belgian beer. We bought books and souvenirs. We went into a Leica store and both decided we couldn’t afford to even look at the cameras in there. The hours flew by, we said au revoir, and the daylight disappeared into darkness.
畢竟，我只是一個快樂的遊客。所以我品嘗了更多美味的食物，買了更多的紀念品，其中包括三雙飛躍鞋。我一個人在一家光線很暗的酒吧裡喝著酒，牆上掛滿了黑白電影的海報。時間又一小時一小時地過去了，就像一閃而過一樣，到了該打車去機場的時候了。歐，我要回家了。每當我去到新的城市，新的地方，我會嘗試用一個詞去形容那個地方。
深圳，新興的。
香港，迷茫的。
倫敦，冷漠的。
上海，優雅的。
北京，古雅的。
After all that I was just a happy tourist. More great food, more souvenir shopping that included three pairs of FeiYue shoes. I drank alone in a gorgeous low light bar with old film noir posters adorning the walls. The hours came and passed, and quick as a flash it was time to grab a taxi and head to the airport. Mama I’m coming home. When I』ve been to new cities, places, I have this thing where I give that place a one word adjective. Try it. Think of a place and give it just one word. Shenzhen, new. Hong Kong, confused. London, cold. Shanghai, elegant. But Beijing? Quaint.
我在深圳快樂地生活了10年。
但如果說那是一種關係，我和深圳只是在約會。
倫敦和我離婚了。
但我現在願意和北京步入婚姻。
只要香港能成為我的情人…….
I』ve been living, happily, in Shenzhen for 10 years. But if that was a relationship, Shenzhen and I are just dating. London and I are divorced. But I would marry Beijing. (Just so long as Hong Kong could be my mistress…)
感謝大家花時間來閱讀我北京之行的流水帳。懷著感激的心情，我要好好感謝那些旅程中不起的人們，因為他們我在北京的時光才如此難忘。燕子和Erin，Teresa精湛的翻譯和脆甜的小蘋果。還有Hook，感謝你把我從鐵達尼號帳篷中拯救出來，我的新朋友Toby，還有在酒吧認識的好哥們兒Being（名字也很牛啤）。Grace和Ann，很開心和你們共進晚餐還有令人愉快的談話；我的VVIP女士Henlen和Susan，很開心和你們愉快的聊天和拍照。還有像媽媽一樣照顧大家的Emily和了不起的Galina，你們都是旅途上完美的旅伴，同為音樂劇愛好者ZhaoQian，還有我的朋友Lucy，感謝你們所做的一切。這次北京之行能認識這麼了不起的人，我感到非常非常幸運。
Thank you all for taking the time to read this rather long piece about my time away. And in the spirit of such gratitude I feel I really ought to thank the incredible people who made my time there so memorable; Yanzi and Erin, Teresa for the superb translation and xiao pingguo, and Hook (who saved me from the Titanic tent experience), new friends Toby and beer buddy Being (what a great name), Grace and Ann for the delightful dinner and conversation, my VVIP ladies Helen and Susan, it was so good to talk and take photos with you! Adorable mother hen Emily and the awesome Galina, you were both perfect travel companions, my musical lover ZhaoQian, and my friend Lucy, thank you for everything. I feel blessed knowing such amazing human beings.
文末vlog小彩蛋：北京，有那麼一點點動心
Vlog: A littl bit in love with Beijing
- END -
心之所在即為家 Home is Where The Heart Is
不是所有躊躇的人都迷失了方向 Not all those who wander, are lost
美好的世界，美麗的人們？Wonderful world, beautiful people?
年齡只是一個數字 Age is Just a Number
油漆未乾，鋸屑和空無一人的商店 Wet Paint, Sawdust and Empty Shops
我，時間，自省以及隱藏的天賦 | Me Time, Introspection, and Hidden Talents
下篇：酒精，人群，還有該死的地鐵 Part 2: Booze, Crowds, and the Damned Metro
屏障，文化衝擊和廁所這個詞 Barriers, Culture Shock, and the word for "Toilet"
離開舒適區，在馬尼拉的日子 | Out of my Comfort Zone, Some Days in Manila
串鄰走舍啖杯茶 | Tea at the Neighbours
大海撈針 | Needle in a Haystack
把車窗搖下來 | Wind the Window Down
看到蘋果落下的人不計其數 | Millions Saw the Apple Fall
一把雨傘 | Grateful for an Umbrella
一座城一群人 | A City Is Its People