剛聽說一位初一的「道法「（《道德與法制》）」老師在課堂上被氣哭，這樣怎麼能教孩子「享受學習」呢？
有人以為國外的孩子學習負擔少一定很開心。調查發現，發達國家處於青春期的孩子中，負面的情緒越來越普遍：「沒人想跟我玩，我在學校裡是個失敗者，我的朋友好像都很高興，我做錯什麼了？」
我們的孩子學習壓力更大，豈不是更應該關注心理健康？現在中小學全面取消了成績排名、不公布考試成績，正是因為人們意識到了心理問題的存在。
從梅奧診所這樣的專業醫療機構，到英國國家衛生體系(NHS)、香港衛生署這樣的政府衛生管理機構，都能找到心理健康(mental health and wellbeing) 的科普，主要包括青春期如何應對莫名的情緒波動、焦慮、抑鬱、缺乏自尊心等。
其中，通過提升自尊心來讓孩子積極生活正對應著《道德與法制》課本中的「認識自我」的內容，是很好的補充。
什麼是自尊心（self-esteem)
自尊心是我們對自己的評價。生活中的起起落落是難免的，健康的自尊心，能讓我們從容應對，始終保持積極的心態。
自尊心並不是自吹自擂，覺得自己是完美的，而是知道自己的長處和不足。很多人會去羨慕別人，卻不去想是否喜歡自己。沒人是完美的，所謂牛娃一樣有弱項，難免自尊心不會受傷。
缺乏自尊心經常從兒童時期就開始了。老師、家長、朋友、兄弟姐妹都會給我們正面的和負面的評價，有些負面評價會紮根在我們的腦海。發現自己達不到別人的期望，或者自己對自己的期望。老師父母眼中的天才，也不能保證總是春風得意，因為他們面對的期望更大。生活也不只是學習，身患重病、失去親人給自己帶來精神壓力和生活困難，都可能對自尊心產生負面的影響。
缺乏自尊心的危害
缺乏自尊心的人可能選擇逃避社交活動，不願意嘗試新的、有挑戰性的事物。短期來說，逃避會獲得安全，但長期會有反作用，因為它會強化已有的懷疑和恐懼，讓人以為面對困難，逃避是唯一的辦法。自尊心不足會有損心理健康，導致抑鬱和焦慮。逃避會讓人尋求短暫緩解痛苦的辦法，這就是一些人吸菸、酗酒的原因。
怎樣才能讓孩子自我感覺良好？心理學家提供的方法大概有這幾個：
1、養成運動的習慣
青春期孩子很關注自己身體的吸引力和外在形象，這也讓很多孩子「自慚形穢」。運動能讓孩子感覺更強壯，更健康，更有能力。很多研究發現，身體運動本身就能改善青春期孩子的自尊和自我感知，特別是對那些習慣坐在屏幕前的孩子。運動的環境也很重要，和那些在家裡和其他環境從事體育運動的學生比，在學校或者健身中心接受有指導的訓練的學生，自尊心得到了更顯著的增強。
2、對自己溫柔些
有學者認為，相對於不斷努力、以結果為導向的態度，自我同情——接納、善待、寬容自己——可以提高自尊。想想如果你的一個朋友處在你的位置，你會怎麼對他說。我們通常對朋友會給出比對自己更好的建議。
對缺乏自尊的孩子，讓孩子把對自己的負面評價記錄下來，然後列出可以反駁這些負面看法的證據，比如「我很擅長做飯」或者「同學們都相信我」、「我很懂得關心別人」。記錄一些別人的誇讚，然後不斷添加，平時不時翻看，提醒自己沒有問題。
對青春期孩子的研究發現，孩子對自己的缺點更寬容，也就會意識到身邊的同伴一樣會經歷挫折，他們也會把對自己的這種善意延伸到對待朋友。
3、避免比較
青春期的孩子特別容易想像出一些「觀眾」看著自己，於是對自己與別人的比較變得高度敏感，朋友圈點讚數量的多少都讓他們感到焦慮、孤獨和被排斥的恐懼。
對孩子的評價，並不全面，在學校更多是用考試分數將同學們分類、用簡單的紀律標準給孩子貼標籤。其實孩子學習過程犯錯是不可避免的，對那些開始努力，有了些許進步的同學及時表揚，會讓他們對自己有信心。
4、培養特長
家長可以幫助孩子培養自己的強項。研究發現，自我感知是和特定的領域掛鈎的。通體來說，自尊感和對自我價值的感受紮根於八個不同的領域：體育競爭力、學習競爭力、社會接受度、緊密的朋友關係、個人魅力、工作滿意度和身體吸引力。可以為孩子量身定做一些活動，指導他們充分發揮特長，讓他們更自信。
5、幫助他人
當孩子們和別人接觸時更可能對自己感覺更好。一項研究對美國681名11到14歲孩子的助人行為做了四年的研究，發現樂於助人的青春期的孩子們總體上自尊程度也更高，但是那些對陌生人也表現慷慨的孩子的自尊會增長。
當孩子們經常為一些更大的事業出力，他們會試著考慮自己以外的事情，這最終將幫助他們變得更正面、更自主、更堅定。成就感讓孩子看到自己的價值，增加快樂。
6、學會堅定
堅定是指尊重別人的觀點和需要，同時期待別人同樣地尊重你。一個辦法是，學習身邊那些行為堅定的人，模仿他們的做法。這不是讓你假裝成別人，而是讓你用那些你欣賞的人的做法，釋放出真實的自己。
自尊心不足的人經常感到自己必須對別人說「是」，即使他們不願意。這樣會讓你更焦慮、憤懣不平、生氣、抑鬱。大多數情況下，說不並不會傷害友誼。試著用不同的方式表達異議，直到別人明白你的意思。
總之，健康的自尊就是看到自己的長處，接受自己的短處。孩子們面對的不僅是學習，還有社交和運動；生活中在集體中，關心他人反而有助於提高自尊心。
參考文章
Five Ways to Help Teens Feel Good about Themselves
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/five_ways_to_help_teens_feel_good_about_themselves
Raising low self-esteem - NHS
The Story on Self-Esteem by Michelle New, rchsd.org
What Is Self-Esteem?It’s how much you value yourself and how important you think you are. It’s how you see yourself and how you feel about the things you can do.
Self-esteem isn’t about bragging, it’s about getting to know what you are good at and not so good at.
It’s not about thinking you’re perfect, because nobody is perfect. Even if you think some other kids are good at everything, you can be sure they have things they’re good at and things that are difficult for them.
If you know you’re really good at piano but can’t draw so well, you can still have great self-esteem!
Why Self-Esteem Is ImportantAll kids have self-esteem, and having healthy or positive self-esteem is really important. It can help you hold your head high and feel proud of yourself and what you can do, even when things don’t seem to be going so well.
Self-esteem gives you the courage to try new things and the power to believe in yourself. It lets you respect yourself, even when you make mistakes. And when you respect yourself, adults and other kids usually respect you, too.
Having positive self-esteem can also help you can learn to make healthy choices about your mind and body. If you think you’re important, you』ll be less likely to follow the crowd if your friends are doing something wrong or dangerous. If you have positive self-esteem, you know you’re smart enough to make your own decisions. You value your safety, your feelings, your health — your whole self! Positive self-esteem helps you know that every part of you is worth caring for and protecting.
How Kids Get Self-EsteemWorking hard to finish a project or assignment, getting a higher grade on a math test, or trying out for a new sport are all things kids can be proud of for trying. Some kids are not very athletic, but they might be good readers or know how to do magic tricks or are really good friends or help other people out — these are all accomplishments that help kids feel good about themselves.
A kid’s family and other people in his or her life — like coaches, teachers, and classmates — also can boost self-esteem. They can help a kid figure out how to do things or notice his or her good qualities. They can believe in the kid and encourage him or her to try again when something doesn’t go right the first time. It’s all part of kids learning to see themselves in a positive way, to feel proud of what they』ve done, and to be confident that there’s a lot more they can do.
A Little on Low Self-EsteemSometimes a kid will have low self-esteem if his mother or father doesn’t encourage him enough or if there is a lot of yelling at home. Other times, a kid’s self-esteem can be hurt in the classroom. A teacher or other kids might make a kid feel like he or she isn’t smart, or maybe there are mean kids who say hurtful things about the way a kid looks or acts.
For some kids, classes at school can seem so hard that they can’t keep up or get the grades they』d hoped for. This can make them feel bad about themselves and hurt their self-esteem. When some kids do well and win prizes and awards, other kids might feel like they’re not as good or there’s something wrong with them.
Boosting Your Self-Esteem
Of course it’s OK to have ups and downs in your feelings, but having low self-esteem isn’t OK. Feeling like you’re not important can make you sad and can keep you from trying new things. It can keep you from making friends or affect how hard you try at school.
Having strong self-esteem is also a very big part of growing up. As you get older and face tough decisions — especially under peer pressure — the more self-esteem you have, the better. It’s important to like yourself.
If you think you might have low self-esteem, try talking to an adult you trust about it. He or she may be able to help you come up with some good ideas for building your self-esteem.
Self-esteem can improve when you start trying things you thought were too hard and then do well at them, or when a parent, family member, or other adult encourages you, is patient, and helps you get back on track. When you start to do well, self-esteem will skyrocket!
Here are a few other things that you can try to increase your self-esteem:
By focusing on the good things you do and all your great qualities, you learn to love and accept yourself — the main ingredients for strong self-esteem! Even if you』ve got room for improvement (and who doesn’t?), knowing what you’re good at and that you’re valuable and special to the people that care about you can really help you deal with growing up.
Part of growing up is learning to focus on your strengths and to accept and work on your weaknesses — and that, in a nutshell, is self-esteem!