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好了 戴維斯先生
Okay, Mr. Davis.
鹽酸氮卓斯汀鼻噴劑應該能治療你的過敏症狀
This Azelastine should take care of those allergies.
謝謝
Thank you.
花粉季節嚴重摧殘了我的鼻竇
Hay-fever season wreaks havoc on my sinuses.
-還有什麼要我幫忙的嗎 -沒有
- Well, is there anything else I can do for you? - No.
我只是想多花點時間陪陪病人
I'm just trying to spend more time with my patients
確保你們不會感覺錢白花了
to make sure they don't feel shortchanged.
沒關係
That's okay.
我感覺錢花得很值
I feel like I got correct changed.
很好 那我們來談談我吧
Good! Then we can talk about me.
最近我的生活中發生了很多事
Ooh, a lot of stuff been going on with me lately.
我的住院醫師 朱莉
My resident, Julie,
轉去兒科專科進修了
left to do a pediatric fellowship, and --
我在爆笑工廠演了一場脫口秀
I tried stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory.
劇透一句 我嗨翻全場
Spoiler alert -- I killed.
我能不能
If I could just --
這就是當你
And that's the problem
擁有兩項天賦時帶來的問題
when you're blessed with two massive talents.
喜劇 醫術 做哪行更好呢
Comedy, medicine -- where can I do the most good?
你在問我嗎
Are you asking me?
不 只是反問
No, it's rhetorical.
無論如何 我還是決定終生放棄笑聲
Anyway, I decided to go lives over laughs
因為對我來說更重要的
because what matters to me most
是我的病人以及他們的需求 還有
are my patients and their needs. And -- Oh.
我知道你需要什麼
And I know what you need --
趕在藥店關門之前把藥買了
To get to the pharmacy before it closes?
不是 蠢了吧
No, silly.
我網站的地址 你可以在上面看到我的表演
A link to my website where you can watch my performance.
祝你看得開心 保持健康
Have fun, stay healthy,
一周後等你來治療笑破的肚皮時見
and I'll see you back in a week to treat your split sides.
看來藥不能停說得沒錯
Looks like staying in medicine was the right call.
好了 笑話留給我來講吧 鼻涕蟲
Okay. Leave the jokes to me, sniffles.
肯恩醫生
第二季 第一集
可憐的艾莉森
Poor Allison.
她最近工作忙成狗
I mean, she's been killing herself at work lately.
昨晚 她整個人就
Last night, she was like,
我工作太忙了 親愛的 都沒時間看孩子
"Wah!I work so hard, baby. I never get to see the kids. Wah!"
你這是同情她還是嘲笑她
Are you sympathizing with her or mocking her?
我確實應該讓她放鬆一下
I should cut her some slack.
她現在處境很艱難
She is in a tough sitch.
畢竟多少年前是她自己說的「我願意」
Well, she is the one who said "I do" all those years ago.
不是 是她的精神病學診所
No, it's her psychiatry practice.
她最近治療忙不過來
She's been wall-to-wall with patients,
上下班太辛苦
her commute is brutal.
她經常抱怨這件事
She complains about it constantly.
讓我猜猜是怎麼抱怨的
Let me guess -- "Wah!"
哥們 這就不厚道了
Whoa, dude, that's not cool.
你調侃的可是我老婆
That's my wife you're talking about.
肯恩 我無意中聽到了你高談闊論
Hey, Ken, I couldn't help but hear you bloviate
艾莉森的工作問題
about Allison's work woes,
我們健託邦的盧尼科[瘋子科]
and, well, we do have an opening here
正好有個職位空缺
at Welltopia in the Looney Wing.
我真心覺得用那個說法不合適
I really don't think it's appropriate to call it that.
既然羅伯特·盧尼和埃莉諾·盧尼
Well, if Robert and Eleanor Looney
慷慨資助了我們的精神科
are generous enough to endow our psychiatric wing,
那我用他們的名字為之命名以表感激有何不可
then I will honor them by using their name.
你覺得如何 肯恩
So what do you think, Ken?
艾莉森會感興趣嗎
You think Allison would be interested?
這兒
Here?
我工作的地方
Where I work?
我覺得她還是喜歡上下班奔波的
Yeah. Oof baboof. I really think she'd miss her commute.
但你剛剛說她上下班很辛苦
Uh, but you just said her commute was brutal.
不 辛苦是很棒的意思
Um, no. Brutal as in epic. Sick!
跟上行話潮流啊 老大爺
Keep up with the lingo, gramps.
你妻子是個人才
I mean, your wife is a gem,
能請她來此工作會 很鬱快
and having her here would just be...so brutal.
打給艾莉森·樸
Call Allison Park.
你的黑莓手機沒那個功能
Your Blackberry doesn't do that.
不是 我讓克拉克打
No, I was talking to Clark.
打給艾莉森·樸
Call Allison Park.
不 不 不 克拉克 不
No, no, no, Clark. No, uh -- No.
她正在給病人治療
She's with a patient. You know?
可能要很久
Probably gonna be a long sesh.
治療時不能接電話
No calls during a sesh?
我去 我們這兒就需要這麼拼的
Damn it! That's just the kind of go-getter we need around here.
記住我的話 肯恩 我會把你老婆搞到手
You mark my words, Ken -- I will have you wife.
我是說工作上
I mean professionally.
我還從未和同事發生過不合適的行為
I mean, I'd never be inappropriate with a coworker.
除了那位我無法抵抗其魅力的女士
Well, except for ones that I find irresistible.
-閉嘴 -好主意
- Don't do that. - Good call.
好了
Okay.
讓我把事情理一下
So let me get this straight.
你不想讓艾莉森在這兒工作
You wouldn't want Allison working here
即使這能讓她的生活更方便
even though it would make her life easier?
別誤解 艾莉森是我老婆
Look, don't get me wrong. Allison's my wife.
可能會過一輩子的那種
You know, I think she might be the one.
但我覺得我們有時需要保持一些距離
But I think we need a little healthy separation sometimes.
要是我不能
You know, I mean, if I can't do
在我老婆背後這麼絕妙地模仿她
spot-on impressions of my wife behind her back,
那我在這兒幹什麼
then why am I here?
救死扶傷
To cure sick people?
很好 謝了
Oh, good. Good looking out.
我懂的
I mean, I get it.
你也不會想整天和你的男友一起工作
You wouldn't want to work with your boyfriend everyday.
等等 康納到底做什麼工作
Wait. What does Connor do, anyway?
這事說起來好笑
Okay, here's the interesting thing about that.
我也不知道
I don't know.
但 但你們在一起
But -- But you've been together for like...
三個月了 我知道
Three months. Yeah, I know.
我們第一次約會時他告訴我了
And he told me on our first date,
但我忙著幻想我們徒步的畫面
but I was so busy picturing us hiking.
他背著我們的水
He was carrying our water.
我背著我們的雙胞胎
I was carrying our twins.
我知道應該讓他再說一遍
I mean, I know I should have asked him to repeat himself,
但我沒有
but I didn't.
現在感覺過去了這麼久
And now it just feels like too much time has passed.
所以呢 你們從不談工作的事
So what? You just don't talk about work?
不 不
Oh, no, no.
他一直說工作的事
He talks about work all the time.
我知道有個女的 伊麗絲
Like, I know there's this woman, Elyse,
一直偷他放在休息室冰箱裡的酸奶
who constantly steals his yogurt from the breakroom fridge.
我還知道有個男的 克裡斯多夫
And I know there's this guy, Christophe,
大家都覺得他特別聰明
who everyone thinks is so smart
其實他只是個比利時人而已
but really, he's just Belgian.
酸奶的事太扯了
That yogurt nonsense is messed up.
整件事就很扯
No, the whole thing is messed up.
他應該在上面寫自己的名字
He should write his name on it.
我知道自己應該跟他坦白
I know I should be able to tell him anything,
但他 他太敏感了
but he's just -- he's so sensitive.
他要是嚇壞了怎麼辦
What if he freaks out?
我不能冒這個險
I-I can't risk it.
聽著
Look.
有件事情我是確定的
Here's one thing that I know for sure.
要是有人喝了我的酸奶 他們會知道代價的
Somebody eat my yogurt, they gonna hear about it!
我現在就去看看冰箱
You know what? Let me go check this refrigerator.
有人可能在動我的東西
Somebody might be in my stuff and I...
成功了
Yes!
你在幹什麼
What are you doing?
我就是這樣保持剪刀石頭布最佳狀態的
This is how I keep my roshambo game sharp.
美國學術能力評估測驗 即美國高考