近日，川普提出的「注射消毒液殺死病毒」的荒謬建議招來大規模批判，雖然他後來改口說那是一種「諷刺」，但大家並不買帳。
向來毒舌的脫口秀狠人崔娃（Trevor Noah）便在他的節目中把川普好好地挖苦了一番。
From the beginning of this crisis, Donald Trump has been saying a lot of not-smart things.從這場疫情爆發開始，川普就一直在說一些不過腦子的話。He said the coronavirus will disappear like a miracle. He said people had nothing to lose by experimenting with hydroxychloroquine. And he even said that the virus can’t see you if you don’t move. I think he was confusing it with Jurassic Park.他說「新冠病毒會奇蹟般地消失」；「人們不妨嘗試使用羥基氯喹（抗瘧疾藥物），也不會有什麼損失」。他甚至說「只要你不動，病毒就看不到你」。我懷疑他是把病毒和侏羅紀公園搞混了。But a few days ago, as you』ve probably heard by now, President Trump created shock waves of stupidity with his latest, and probably greatest, unlicensed medical opinion yet.但是相信你們也都聽說了，幾天前，總統川普先生提出了他最新出爐的，可能也是最「偉大的」、沒有經過認證的醫學建議，愚蠢至極，令人譁然。This is maybe the first time in documented history that we』ve seen someone not thinking out loud.這恐怕是有史以來我們第一次看到有人竟然不是自言自語說出這樣的話（而是在大庭廣眾之下）。Injecting disinfectant into your body? This is the problem when the dumbest persons in the room thinks they’re the smartest person. You know? Trump is like Neville Longbottom, but with Hermione’s confidence.把消毒劑注射進身體？這就好像是一個房間裡最愚蠢的人以為他們自己是最聰明的人！你知道嗎？川普本來是像納威·隆巴頓，卻有著赫敏那樣的自信。（註：這兩人都是《哈利波特》裡面的人物，前者沒有什麼天分，後者則是妥妥的學霸）And I almost don’t even blame Trump, because there’s no way he even understands what bleach is. Like, do you think Donald Trump has ever cleaned anything in his life? Do you think he’s ever actually used disinfectant? Cleaning supplies might as well be magical potions to him.我甚至都不想責備川普，因為他甚至不可能漂白劑是什麼。你覺得川普在生活中會自己清理什麼東西嗎？你覺得他用過消毒劑嗎？在他眼裡，消毒產品恐怕是魔法藥水一樣神奇的存在。I dropped a hamburger on the carpet. Then some Mexican lady came in with some Clorox, sprayed it on the carpet, said some spell in Spanish, and then it was gone.（此處開始模仿川普說話，表演川普在生活中可能出現的一幕）我把一個漢堡掉到地毯上了！這時，某個墨西哥女傭拿著一瓶漂白劑走過來，噴到地毯上，用西班牙語念了一些咒語，然後，汙漬就不見啦！Now, as crazy as the disinfectant line was, I don’t think we should be so quick to dismiss Trump’s UV light idea. Because Trump spends most of his time under UV light, and other than looking like hickory-smoked bacon, he’s the healthiest man in the world.現在我們來說說另一個和「注射消毒劑」一樣瘋狂的想法：用紫外線殺毒，這個想法我倒是覺得不該貿然否定。因為川普自己就是大部分時間都在紫外線下（嘲諷他喜歡在聚光燈下），看起來不僅不像胡桃木煙燻過的臘肉，反而是全世界最健康的人！I mean, he’s even outlived Kim Jong-un, a man half his age. Prove me wrong, Kim! If you’re still alive, follow me back on Twitter.我是說，他甚至活過了Jin Zhengen，後者只活了他一半的年齡！（此時戲精再次上身，向Jin Zhengen喊話）Now, if you’re some random guy on the Internet with 12 followers, you can say shit like this, and it really doesn’t matter. You can say whatever you want about coronavirus.說回來，你如果只是網上一個普普通通的人，粉絲也就十來個，那你可以這樣大放厥詞，沒關係。關於疫情你想說什麼就說什麼。But Donald Trump is not just some random guy. Donald Trump was the star of Celebrity Apprentice. People listen to what he says. So his suggestion about injecting people with a disinfectant has had a massive fallout.但是川普不是普通人，他是《名人學徒》真人秀裡的明星人物，他說了什麼人們是會聽到的。所以他提出的向人體內注射消毒劑的建議已經引發了大範圍的可怕後果。川普下一次發言還會提出什麼驚天地泣鬼神的說法嗎？你怎麼看？
來源：YouTube
翻譯：Winner
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