桑坦德, 西班牙 - 在西班牙北部這個美麗的港口小城市,我認識到艾琳娜，一位熱情於知性的年輕女性，她的想法充分體現了她的多元文化背景。
「我認為我經歷過最困難的事，是我不管去到哪裡，在別人眼裡都是一個外國人，這是那些具有非常明確文化認同感的人所不能真正理解的」。對於艾琳娜來說，即使是看似很簡單的問題，比如「你是哪裡人」？也並不是那麼容易回答的。艾琳娜凱莉出生在紐約布朗克斯。在十歲的時候，她搬到了阿根廷玻利維亞附近一個不為人熟知的小鎮。在之後的短短七年裡，她經歷了幾次舉家搬遷，先搬回到了紐約，然後又再次返回阿根廷。到了上大學的時候，艾琳娜決定去西班牙馬德裡上學。畢業後，她搬回紐約住了一陣，最近又搬到了西班牙加利西亞省拉科魯尼亞市附近的一個小城市。對於這些搬家經歷，她說「這很難調整和適應，尤其是因為我小時候在阿根廷度過了一段時間，所以我的西班牙口音聽起來更像是阿根廷人的。無論我在西班牙呆多久，你總能聽出我在阿根廷生活過很久。所以我很難說『不，我不是阿根廷人』，因為我有著這種特殊的口音」，她笑著說。多年旅居國外和持續搬遷的經歷使艾琳娜對於文化理解有了非常獨特的視角，特別是在談到西班牙女性平等時，她提到：「官方數據顯示，西班牙的女性政府代表人數遠遠超過像美國這樣的國家，但事實上你在西班牙還是能切實地感受到人們對女性有更多的要求，比如希望女性以某種方式穿著，以某種方式行事 ， 而美國人們對此的看法會寬鬆一些。」 艾琳娜覺得這種性別歧視甚至根植於西班牙的語言文化中。比如「machismo」在英語當中是大男子主義的意思，但它其實來自西班牙語，這是因為這種不平等深深紮根於西班牙語文化的社會中，「甚至在歌曲作品裡，在任何方面」。艾琳娜在文化中體會到的性別歧視經歷甚至使她在約會的時候也變得猶豫不決。她回憶說：「我曾經和一個墨西哥人約會了五年。他的妹妹和母親一直在向我施加壓力 - 比如你什麼時候結婚，什麼時候才能生孩子。因為他們都是24歲就有了孩子，所以當我23歲時他們已經開始催我了。而他的妹妹和我差不多年齡，但她在幾個月內就結婚了，之後很快生了小孩，現在基本上承擔了全職太太的角色。而且我看到她的丈夫並沒有分攤她的家務，這在我看來是非常過時的事情」。
艾琳娜還思索說性別歧視不僅僅根植於文化，「它在一定程度上也是制度的產物」。艾琳娜解釋說性別歧視 「與三個國家的階級差異有很大關係。例如，美國和阿根廷上層階級的男女生活方式和男女平等問題的區別並不大，但如果在同一國家不同階級之間進行男女生活狀態的比較，會有更大的差別」。正是通過她在世界各地的生活經歷，艾琳娜第一次意識到了這種和階級相關的性別歧視，而這種關聯在紐約布朗克斯這個不是一個很富裕的區域尤其明顯。也正因此，她 可以將布朗克斯區女性的經歷與西班牙和阿根廷的階層比較低的女性進行比較。「我意識到階級的差異更具社會性，與國籍的關聯性更小」。
不滿足於簡單的回答，艾琳娜還深入地聊到了美國、阿根廷和西班牙男女不平等的源頭。她提到了工資收入差別，解釋說「例如我剛才談到的我前男友妹妹的情況，她從一開始在教育方面就沒有和男性相同的機會」。正因為如此，「在工作方面，她也沒有更好的機會，所以明智的決定顯然是讓賺錢更多人繼續工作」。但他先生賺錢更多的原因只是因為他最初獲得了更多的教育機會。
除實際原因外，艾琳娜認為，社會學因素也使性別歧視的周期變得永久化。她解釋說在當今社會，如果男人選擇全職照顧孩子，他們通常會被公認為不夠「男人」。艾琳娜的妹妹嫁給了一個在韓國人，他現在還在學習，沒有工作。她妹妹承擔了家裡大部分的責任，包括家裡的支出。通常男人不工作在社會上和家庭裡都很可能面臨批評，讓男人覺得他們不可以和女人一樣選擇呆在家裡。因為不工作對他們來說不可接受，傷害了他們作為男人的自尊心，而且這樣的想法絕對與他們所屬的文化以及他們如何看待女性和男性在家庭中的角色有關。例如，當家裡人談論她妹妹的丈夫時，大家說他是一個「aprovechado」，這個詞在西班牙語中指的是佔便宜的人。但情況如果反過來，是她妹妹呆在家裡，應該沒有人會有意見。
對女性的歧視不僅發生在生活中，還發生在工作場合。 她認為，工作場所歧視最難界定的部分是它的微妙之處。女人被期望以某種方式穿衣，以某種方式做事，或以某種方式打扮自己，這些都在女性的思想中根深蒂固，以至於「即使自己沒有意識到，男女的行為方式還是會有所不同」。工作之外，艾琳娜還注意到男人們覺得他們必須把女人送回家。這個想法的問題在於，它意味著如果女性獨自行走，就會讓自己面對發生某些可怕的事情的可能性。但如果你不獨立行走，社會會更加認為女人就是需要男人保護，男女就是不平等的。所以，無論以哪種方式，女性都面臨失敗的局面。另外還會有一些女性經常面臨的問題， 比如 「在紐約的地鐵上，幾乎所有我認識的女孩都經歷過在一個擠滿了人的地鐵裡，一個男的拿著一個塑膠袋靠近你。你認為他們只是站在你旁邊，但是他其實是在試圖把你的褲子拉鎖拉下去。諸如此類的事情有很多，你也不能做什麼，只能選擇忘記，繼續同樣的生活」。
在艾琳娜看來，我們社會中有一部分人非常了解正在發生的與性別平等和女權運動有關的事情，但社會上仍有「百分之五十人對此可能根本不知道」，這是非常令人驚訝的。「即使有些聲稱在踐行性別平等的男人，有時就像女性運動的『假盟友』一樣」。他們會談論很多女性的權利，他們會說他們自己是女權主義者，他們也會去參加遊行。然而在我眼裡他們的某些態度「與他們嘴裡的所說的內容是非常矛盾的」。有時他們會說我很喜歡女人，但這個評論本身已經是一種反面的聲明了。
艾琳娜思考說性別歧視的根本問題可以追溯到教育。艾琳娜認為「學校絕對應該提供混校教育，因為混校教育可以學生為現實世界做好準備。」作為一名教師，她注意到，即使是現在正在成長的這代人，在課堂上「女孩們仍然顯得更加安靜，尤其是當有一個特別大聲的男生時。」
儘管她在訪談中批評了各種社會缺陷，但在對話的最後，艾琳娜還是給年輕女孩提供了鼓勵。 「你確實可以做任何你想做的任何事情。 當你到了15歲了，甚至有時候已經覺得現在再開始去從事某項職業或改變自己的生活方式為時已晚，但其實這樣的改變永遠不會太晚。」
Decrying Sexism with a Global Mindset and a Message of Hope - The Story of Elena Carey
SANTANDER, SPAIN - Getting to know Elena Carey in the beautiful port city of Santander in Northern Spain; She is a warm and intellectual young woman full of ideas that encompass her diverse cultural background.
"I think the most difficult thing that I've ever experienced is always being the foreigner in every place that I go to, and I think that that's something that people who have a really clear cultural understanding don't really understand."
For Elena Carey, even the seemingly basic and easy question: Where are you from? is not so easy. "There is no clear answer," she says. Elena was born in the Bronx in New York, but at the age of ten, she moved to a small, unfamiliar town near Bolivia, in Argentina. Then, in the next seven years, in a dizzying series of moves, she returned to New York, travelled back to Argentina, later to Madrid for university, then back to New York after graduation, and, most recently, to a small city near La Coruña in Spain.
About the many moves, she says, "It was hard to adjust, especially because my accent in Spanish is more Argentinian, and no matter how much time I spend in Spain, you can always tell I lived a lot of time in Argentina. So for me it's hard to say, no, I'm not Argentinian, but I have this strange accent," she says with a laugh.
The many different homes have provided Elena with a unique perspective on cultural issues, especially when talking about gender equality in Spain. "Spain on paper has a lot more female representation in the government than a country like the U.S., but you still experience certain expectations as a woman in Spain physically that I don't think you experience as much in the U.S. - that you're supposed to dress a certain way, act a certain way." She sees this type of discrimination as something very deeply rooted in Spanish speaking cultures. "The word machismo … comes from Spanish," Elena says, and she explains that discrimination against women is pervasive - "even in songs. Just everything."
Elena's experience of sexism in this culture might make her hesitant to date, with good reason. She recounts, "I dated a guy for five years who was Mexican. His sister and his mother were constantly pressuring me - like when are you getting married, when are you going to have a kid." Only 23 at the time, she ended the relationship. After her ex-boyfriend's sister got married and had a child, "I watched her go from being someone just like me to basically just giving in to the caregiving role." She observed the unequal division of familial responsibilities. "It's just something that seems very antiquated to me at this point."
Elena muses that culture isn't necessarily to blame for the sexism she has observed in different societies. She explains that sexism "is institutionalized to a certain level." More than culturally, she says, "it has a lot more to do with class differences in all three countries.
For example, if you were to compare the lifestyle and equality among women and men in the upper class in Spain, the U.S., and Argentina, I think that there would be a lot more equality than if you were to compare women of the same class in each country to men, if that makes sense." It was through living in so many different places that Elena first noticed this pattern of class-related sexism - especially in the Bronx, which is an area that is not particularly wealthy.
Therefore, "When I compare my experiences in the U.S. to the people I meet outside the U.S., I can compare the experiences of women in the Bronx a lot more easily to lower-class women in Spain and Argentina. So I kind of realized that the difference is more social and less related to nationality."
Not content with easy answers, Elena digs deeper to find the root causes for the inequities in the United States, Argentina, and Spain. She references the wage gap, explaining that in the case of her ex-boyfriend's sister, as a woman, "she didn't have the same education as a man." And because of this, "Work-wise, she wasn't making as much. So the intelligent decision is clearly for the one who is making the most money to keep working." The situation is logical, but it is the cause is this ongoing cycle of unequal opportunity.
In addition to practical reasons, Elena thinks that sociological factors also perpetuate sexist cycles. She explains that men are often automatically thought of as not being "man" enough if they are full-time caregivers. Elena's sister is married to a Korean man who is still studying and does not work. Elena's sister assumes not only the financial responsibilities but also the domestic responsibilities. "It's kind of de-masculating for them," says Elena. "My family for example, when they talk about my sister's husband, they say that he is an 'aprovechado', which is someone who is taking advantage. However, I'm quite sure that if it was my sister doing the same thing, no one would blink an eye. And that's definitely cultural."
Furthermore, Elena notes that sexism prevails not only in a domestic setting, but also in the workplace and daily life. She believes that the hardest part about discrimination in the workplace is the subtlety of it. Being expected to dress a certain way, to act a certain way, or to look a certain way is so anticipated and ingrained in women's minds that "even without knowing it, we act differently."
Outside of work, something that Elena notices is that men feel obligated to bring you home. The problem is that on one hand, if you make the decision to walk alone, "You are opening yourself up to the possibility of something happening." Yet if you don't, You are almost perpetuating the idea that guys need to protect us and that society is just not equal for women." Lose-lose situations like this one are so common. "In New York on the subway, … almost all the girls I know have had the experience of a guy in a crowded subway with a plastic bag, and you think that they're just brushing up against you, but then they're lowering the zipper to your pants." And the list goes on. For Elena, it almost becomes routine. "It's kind of like you just have to keep on going" and live your life.
In Elena's eyes, it's really surprising that a portion of the population in our society is extremely aware of gender inequality, while "fifty percent of society ... is not aware at all." And even the men who do claim to be aware "are often 'fake allies' to the women's movement." For example, "They'll talk a lot about women's rights and say that they're feminists, but then as a woman, you see certain attitudes in that person that" are completely contradictory. "They say things like 'Oh, I love women'," a comment Elena believes to be a backhanded compliment.
Elena muses that a root cause of the issues between the sexes is education."I definitely think that schools should be coed," she says. "It prepares you for the real world." Having been a teacher, Elena has noticed that even with generations that are growing up now, "Girls are still way more quiet in the classroom, especially when there is a guy that's very vocal." In today's society, "I don't understand why we should be segregating people based on their gender."
Despite her critique of different societal flaws, Elena ends our conversation with encouragement for young girls. "You really can do anything you want. I feel like when you're fifteen, sometimes you already think it's too late to do a certain career or to change the way that you are, but it's never too late to do that."
美儀是Glimpse 藝絕麗世微信公眾平臺的創辦人和非營利組織LEGAC生命教育成長協會第一任學生會主席。她四歲移民加拿大， 目前就讀於加拿大多倫多頂級私立IB高中。性格開朗，對旅行，美食和探險都抱有極大的熱忱。美儀精通四門外語，曾在不同文化和語言環境中生活， 具有多元化視角。美儀喜歡用攝影，攝像和寫作等方式記錄下世界各地不同文化背景下，女性在社會中成長中的真實故事。
Meiyi Song is the Glimpse media platform founder and first student council president of LEGAC, a non-profit organization that enriches the global and cultural education of young people through real-world experiences. She immigrated to Canada at the age of four and is currently studying at a top IB high school in Toronto. She is always ready for an adventure and loves to travel and explore the different cultures and foods of the world. Growing up in different cultural and linguistical environments, she fluently speaks four languages and has a unique multifaceted perspective. She is passionate about using different mediums including photography, film, and writing to document the real and touching stories of women around her.