When I married (Laughs), "What, you don't know the father's name? You don't know who they are, what they are, how will you marry?" I said, "I'm marrying only the girl."
當我結婚的時候（笑），「什麼，你不知道她父親的名字？你不知道他們是誰，是做什麼的，怎麼結婚呢？我說：「我娶的只是這個女孩。」
So this whole debate about, "Is arranged marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better?"
所以這整個關於「是包辦婚姻更好，還是在當地酒吧遇見的更好？」的爭論。
Marriages are made in heaven, but you are cooking hell within you.
婚姻是天作之合，但你卻在內心釀造著地獄。
Speaker: Namaskaram Sadhguru, a Netflix show on the Indian way of matchmaking is trending and drawing criticism for the regressive ways of arranged marriage (Sadhguru Laughs). Is it still relevant in today's time?
發言人：你好，薩古魯。網飛（Netflix）公司的一檔關於印度婚介方式的節目正在熱播，並引起了對倒退的包辦婚姻方式的批評（薩古魯笑）。包辦婚姻在今天還有意義嗎？
Sadhguru: Well, if you do not know this, the success of something, is in the result. Luxembourg, which is held as one of the most economically prosperous and free societies, a small little country, divorce rate is eighty-seven percent. Spain, divorce rate is some sixty-five percent. Russia, fifty-one percent. United States, forty-three percent. India, 1.5 percent. You decide what's working (Laughter).
Sadhguru（薩古魯）：好吧，如果你不知道這點，事情的成功在於其結果。盧森堡，作為世界上經濟最繁榮、最自由的國家之一，一個小小的國家，離婚率是87%。西班牙，離婚率約為65%。俄羅斯，51%。美國，43%。印度，1.5%。你說什麼是有效的（笑聲）。
Because marriage is not about how it happened, who arranged it. Your parents arranged it or a commercial website arranged it, a dating app arranged it or a local bar arranged it when you are fuzzy (Laughter), or your confused friends arranged it, or your confused self-arranged it. Well, anyway, it is an arrangement. It is best it is arranged by responsible, sensible people.
因為婚姻不是關於它是如何發生的，誰安排的。是你父母安排的，還是某一個商業網站安排的；是約會軟體安排的，還是當地酒吧在你神智不清的時候安排的（笑聲）；或是你糊塗的朋友安排的，還是困惑的你自己安排的。好吧，反正這是一項安排。最好是由負責任的、明智的人來安排。
This idea, arranged marriage means, is some kind of a slavery, well that depends. As there are exploitative people everywhere, sometimes your parents themselves may be exploitative, they may be doing things for their own reasons, their stupid prestige, their wealth, their nonsense, they may be doing it for those reasons.
包辦婚姻意味著是某種奴役，這種觀念，嗯，這要看情況。因為到處都有想撈好處的人，有時候你父母自己也可能想撈好處，他們可能為了自己的原因而做一些事情。他們愚蠢的名譽、他們的財富、他們的無稽之談，他們可能出於那些原因而這樣做。
Well (Laughs), they may be watching the darshan, but somebody just now, in the last couple of days, asked a thing that they want to choose a girl for their boy. One girl is well-educated, pretty; another girl – father, big man. "So, which should I do?" So I asked a simple question, "You want to marry the girl or somebody's wealth? You make up your mind, because I don't know what's your priority." It depends what's your priority. If your priority is such that somebody's wealth by marriage becomes yours and that is all that matters to you – fine, that’s your choice. That is the kind of life you have chosen.
好吧（笑），他們可能正在看darshan（達顯），但是有人剛剛，就在前幾天，問了一個問題，他們想為自己的兒子選一個姑娘。一個女孩受過良好的教育，很漂亮；另一個女孩——爸爸是個大人物。「所以，我應該選哪個？」於是我問了一個簡單的問題，「你想要娶那個女孩，還是某人的財富？你要作好決定，因為我不知道你優先考慮的是什麼。」這取決於你的優先次序。如果你優先考慮的是——某人的財富通過結婚而成為你的，並且那才是對你來說最重要的——可以，那是你的選擇。那是你選擇的一種生活。
When I married (Laughs), I did not know her full name. I did not know her father's name. I did not know, in India, I did not know her caste or anything. When I told my father, he said, "What, you don't know the father's name? You don't know who they are, what they are, how will you marry?" I said, "I am marrying only the girl (Laughter). I am not planning to marry any of the other things that usually may come with a girl. I… just the girl. That's it!"
當我結婚的時候（笑），我不知道她的全名，我不知道她父親的名字。我不知道，在印度，我不知道她的種姓，什麼都不知道。當我告訴我父親，他說，「什麼，你不知道她父親的名字？你不知道他們是誰，他們是做什麼的，你怎麼結婚？」我說：「我娶的只是這個女孩（笑聲）。我不打算娶任何其他通常會和一個女孩一起而來的東西，我……只是這個女孩。就是這樣！」
Well, everybody thought this is a disaster. Some of my, you know, self-appointed advisors will be there, always. Though I never took anybody's advice in my life, there'll always be advisors. They said, "You are making the biggest mistake in your life. This is going to be your disaster." I said, "Whatever happens, whichever way it happens, I knew this much, it is for me either to make it a disaster or a success."
好吧，大家都認為這是一場災難。我的一些..你知道，總有些自封的顧問們，儘管在我人生中我從沒有聽從過任何人的建議，但總會有些提建議的人。他們說：「你正在犯你一生中最大的錯誤，這將會成為你的災難。」我說：「無論發生什麼，無論以怎樣的方式發生，我清楚這一點，讓它成為一個災難還是成功，這由我決定。」
Because who you marry, how you marry, which way it was arranged, by who it was arranged – is not important. How responsibly you exist, that is all there is. So this whole debate about, "Is arranged marriage better or meeting in the local bar is better?" Well, I think when you are not little fuzzed out, I think your decisions are a little better.
因為和誰結婚，如何結婚，它是如何被安排的，誰安排的——那都不重要。你的存在有多麼負責任，那才是全部。所以這整個關於「是包辦婚姻更好，還是在當地酒吧遇見的更好？」的爭論，嗯，我覺得當你沒那麼迷糊的時候，你的決定會更好一點。
If an eighteen, twenty-year-old man or woman, young man or young woman want to marry, who will they marry? Their contact is just there. Within those ten people that they know, in their life, one guy or one girl you marry. Within three months you will know (Laughter). But in most countries (Laughs), there is a law, at least two years you must suffer (Laughter). It is like a jail term. If you make a mistake, at least two years you must suffer, then only you can divorce. Most nations have this. Well, many religions have fixed it that divorce is completely wrong, you cannot divorce. But where such religions are practiced, there the divorce rate is highest! So, God's dictates are not able to stop the breakups, law is not able to stop the breakups.
如果一個十八、二十歲的男人或女人，年輕男女想要結婚，他們會和誰結婚？他們接觸的人就只有那些（範圍）。在他們生活中認識的十個人裡，他們會和某一個男孩或者女孩結婚，不出三個月你就會知道（笑聲）。但在大多數國家（笑）， 有一項法律規定，你至少要忍受兩年（笑聲）。它像一個刑期，如果你犯了錯，你至少得忍受兩年，然後你才可以離婚。大多數國家都有這個規定。很多宗教都規定離婚是完全錯誤的，你不能離婚。但是在踐行這種宗教的地方，那裡的離婚率最高！所以，上帝的指示並不能阻止分手，法律不能阻止分手。
You need to understand this, when parents organize, you must… I'm asking you a basic question, do you believe - their judgment may not be the best – but parents have the best interest of yours? But if you have matured beyond them, that is a different thing, you can make your own decisions. But arranged marriage is a wrong terminology – all marriages are arranged; by whom is the only question. I think it is best, it's arranged by people who are most concerned about your well-being, who have a larger reach of... because you can't find the best man or the best woman in the world because we don't know where the hell they are (Laughter).
你得明白這一點，當父母安排，你必須……我問你一個基本的問題，你是否相信——他們的判斷可能不是最好的——但是父母會為你的最大利益考慮？如果你比他們成熟，那是另外一回事，你可以自己做決定。但包辦婚姻是一個錯誤的術語——所有的婚姻都是被安排的，唯一的問題是誰安排的。我認為最好它是由那些最關心你幸福，那些接觸更廣泛的……人們來安排的。因為你找不到這個世界上最好的男人或女人，因為我們不知道他們到底在哪裡。（笑聲）
With limited contact that we have, what is the reasonable, good thing we can put together, that's all it is. So the very fact that divorce rates are as it is, in these different societies that I spoke about, well the success rate is very clear. When parents are the basis of your organization, it's a little better, because they will think little long-term. You just like the way she is dressed and you want to get married today. Well, tomorrow morning you will realize you don't want to have anything to do with her (Laughter). So, because, when you are eighteen, twenty, due to various compulsions or peer pressure or something, you may take decisions which will not last a lifetime. Or sometimes you really hit it off with somebody and it may work out, that's another matter.
在我們有限的人際圈裡，什麼是我們能放到一起的、合理的、好的東西，僅此而已。所以在我談到的這些不同社會中，它們目前離婚率的這個事實，嗯，其成功率是非常清楚的。當父母是你（婚姻）安排的基礎，會好一點，因為他們會想得更長遠一點。你只是喜歡她的穿著，於是今天你想結婚，明天早上你就會意識到你不想和她有任何關係（笑聲）。所以，因為當你十八、二十歲的時候，由於各種強迫性或同輩壓力，或其它原因，你可能會做出些無法持續一生的決定。或者有時候你和某人真的很合得來，可能就會成功，那是另一回事。
So arrangements, everything is an arrangement, please understand this. You may think so many things. It is arranged by your emotion or your greed or your… your loved ones, it is arranged by somebody, isn't it, or something. It is an arrangement. How you arrange it, well, it's your choice. I'm not saying this is the way or that is the way, but whichever way you do it, please conduct it responsibly, joyfully.
所以安排，一切都是一種安排，請理解這一點。你可能會想到如此多的事情。它是由你的情感，或者你的貪婪……或者你的……你所熱愛的事物安排的，它是由某人安排的，不是嗎？或者某事。它是一種安排。你怎麼安排，嗯，這是你自己的選擇。我並不是說就該是這種方式或那種方式，但無論你用哪種方式，請負責任地、愉快地去做。
If you… you know they have been saying, "Marriages are made in heaven." But you are cooking hell within you, marriage is made in heaven. That is why a lot of people want to go there soon. Because it is made there, they want to go there and settle it. No! You need to understand, to fulfill your needs, physical, psychological, emotional, social and various other needs, you are coming together. If you always remember, 『To fulfill my needs I am with you,』 you will conduct this responsibly. Initially you are like that, after some time, you think he or she needs you, then you will start acting wantonly. Then of course, ugliness will start in many different ways.
如果你……你知道他們一直說「婚姻是天作之合」，但你卻在內心釀造著地獄。婚姻是天作之合，那就是為什麼很多人想早點去那裡。因為在那裡是註定的，他們想去那裡搞定它。不！你需要理解，為了滿足你的需求，生理的、心理的、情感的、社會的和其它各種需求，你們走到了一起。如果你一直記得，「為了滿足我的需求，我和你在一起」，你會負責地做這件事。一開始你是像那樣的，一段時之後，你覺得是他或她需要你，然後你就開始肆意妄為。然後當然，醜陋會以很多不同的方式出現。
Tch, this happened, a young man and a very young woman, got engaged. So once the... not like this, there must be a stone. Once the ring went in, the lady held his hand and said, "You can lean on me to share your pains, your struggles, your whatever sufferings you go through, you can always share with me." The guy said, "Well, I don't have any struggles or pains or problems." Then she said, "Well, we are not yet married." (Laughter)
嘖，發生過這樣一件事，一個年輕的男人和一個非常年輕的女人訂婚了。當……不是像這樣的（戒指），一定要有一塊石頭。當戴上戒指的時候，女士握住他的手然後說，「你可以依靠我來分擔你的痛苦、你的掙扎、你經歷的任何痛苦，你都可以讓我分擔。」那個人說：「嗯，我沒有任何掙扎、痛苦或問題。」然後她說：「嗯，我們還沒結婚呢。」（笑聲）
So (Laughs), if you think you are full of pain, struggles, problems, and you need somebody to lean on, well there will be trouble. You make yourself into a joyful, wonderful human being, then you will see your work also will be wonderful, your home also will be wonderful, your marriage will be wonderful, everything will be wonderful, because you are! Without fixing this, you think somebody else is going to fix you, then there is going to be trouble for you and of course an unfortunate consequence for the other person.
所以（笑），如果你覺得自己充滿了痛苦、掙扎、問題，因此你需要有個人依靠，那就會有麻煩了。你讓自己變成一個快樂的、美好的人，然後你會看到你的工作也將是美好的，你的家也將是美好的，你的婚姻將是美好的，一切都將是美好的，因為你是美好的！沒有解決好這個，你認為別人會修好你，那你會有麻煩，當然也會給對方帶來不幸的後果。