在每一幅鼓舞人心的圖畫背後,都有一個不為人知的故事,關於不斷的痛苦、不懈的努力和決心。世界上有那麼一些人,他們每天24小時,臉上帶著燦爛的微笑,在內心進行著一場看不見的戰鬥。
They never cry, they never crib, they never whine. I call such people warriors because these people know the art of living life, and they are way better than those people who just exist in the world.
他們從不哭泣,從不哭泣,從不哀嚎。我稱這些人為戰士,因為他們懂得生活的藝術,他們比那些只存在於這個世界上的人要好得多。
Six-and-a-half years back, I am in a car accident. I was traveling from Balochistan to my hometown Rahim Yar Khan. The driver slept, and the car fell in the ditch. As a result of that incident, I sustained multiple injuries. The list is a bit long; don’t get scared.
六年半前,我遭遇了一場車禍。我從俾路支省到我的家鄉拉辛亞爾汗。司機睡著了,汽車掉進了溝裡。那次事故的結果是,我受了多重傷。這個列表有點長;不要害怕。
The radius and ulna on my right arm were fractured, shoulder bone and collar bone were fractured, lungs and liver were badly injured. The whole rib cage was fractured. But the injury changed my life and my personality completely was the spinal cord injury.
我右臂的橈骨和尺骨骨折,肩胛骨和鎖骨骨折,肺和肝臟嚴重受傷。整個胸腔都骨折了。但是這次受傷改變了我的生活,我的性格完全被脊髓損傷改變了。
Three vertebrae of my backbone were completely crushed. It took us an hour or so to find an ambulance in Balochistan. All the efforts went in vain because we couldn’t find an ambulance, so I was thrown in the back of a potohar jeep, and I was rushed to the nearby hospital.
我的三根脊椎骨完全被壓碎了。我們花了一個小時左右才在俾路支省找到一輛救護車。由於找不到救護車,我被扔進了一輛potohar吉普車的後面,迅速送往附近的醫院,所有的努力都白費了。
In that jeep, I realized that half of the body was fractured and half was paralyzed. We were rushed to the nearby hospital where we came to know there was no first aid; I was kicked out.
在那輛吉普車裡,我意識到身體的一半是骨折的,一半是癱瘓的。我們被緊急送往附近的醫院,但那裡缺乏急救措施,因此我被拒絕收治。
Then I went to another hospital, in my hometown, where the doctor said, 「Take her away. We cannot operate her!」 And I was like, 「Why?」 And they were like, 「We don’t have equipment. She will die some day. You go!」 I was kicked out again. But I finally ended up in a comparatively better hospital in Karachi.
然後我去了另一家醫院,在我的家鄉,醫生說,「把她帶走。」我們不能給她做手術!我說:「為什麼?」他們說,「我們沒有設備。」她快要死了,你走吧!「我又被拒了。但我最終住進了喀拉蚩一家比較好的醫院。
Luckily, I wasn’t kicked out; probably that’s why I am alive. So I stayed in that hospital for two-and-a-half months. I underwent three major, two minor surgeries. The doctors have put a lot of metal in my arm, a lot of metal in my backbone, so I feel more like an 「iron lady」 now.
幸運的是,我沒有被拒,也許因此我才能活著。我在那家醫院住了兩個半月,經歷了三次大手術,兩次小手術。醫生們在我的胳膊上放了很多金屬,在我的脊骨上也放了很多金屬,所以我現在感覺更像一個「鐵娘子」。
But those two-and-a-half months I spent in the hospital were dreadful. I was in severe pain, both physically and psychologically. Many people left, very close ones. The ones who were supposed to stay with me were the ones who left me when I needed them the most. I was devastated. Life was completely pointless, aimless, colorless.
但我在醫院度過的那兩個半月太可怕了。我的身體和心理都很痛苦。很多人離開了,非常親近的人。那些本該和我在一起的人,卻在我最需要他們的時候離開了我。我崩潰了,我的生活變得毫無意義,毫無目的,毫無色彩。
I was tired of wearing the white scrubs, looking at the white walls, doing nothing, sitting idle. I really didn’t want to live! But then I realized that instead of crying for the people who were not meant to be with me and for the legs which I have lost, I have people around me who want to see me alive.
我厭倦了穿著白色的病號服,看著白色的牆壁,無所事事。我真不想活了!但後來我意識到,比起為離去的人、失去的雙腿哭泣,身邊的人更希望看到我活著。
「I have so much to be grateful for. So let’s stop cribbing, stop whining, because it is pointless.」 The best decision that I took in my entire life was the painting that I made in the hospital, with a deformed hand.
「我要感謝的太多了。所以我不再哭泣、抱怨,因為這毫無意義。」我此生做的最好的決定,是在醫院裡用一隻畸形的手畫的那幅畫。
That’s how I added colors in my colorless life. That’s how this adversity helped me in exploring an artist in me. That’s how this art kept me alive through this whole journey.
這給了我昏暗生活一抹色彩 。這一逆境幫助我挖掘了內心的藝術才能。這藝術讓我活了下來。
Then I was moved to Islamabad. I stayed in my room, in bed, confined, for two years because I developed multiple pressure ulcers and a variety of infections and allergies.
後來我搬到了伊斯蘭瑪巴德。呆在房間裡,躺在床上,整整兩年,因為我得了多重壓力潰瘍,各種感染和過敏。
Now, this whole traumatic journey of two years and two-and-a-half months being bedridden, doing nothing, the only thing kept me alive was art. What a beautiful medium art is, that without uttering a single word, you express yourself. What a beautiful escape it was!
在這兩年零兩個半月的痛苦旅程中,我臥床不起,無所事事,唯一讓我活下去的支撐就是藝術。這是一種多麼美妙的媒介藝術啊!你不用說一個字就能表達自己。多麼美妙的逃避啊!
But the day I sat on the wheelchair for the first time, I was a completely different person. I still remember that. I looked at myself in the mirror and I said,
但當我第一次坐在輪椅上的那一天,我完全變了一個人。我還記得,我對著鏡子裡的自己說:
「You cannot wait for a miracle to come and make you walk; you cannot wait for the stem-cell treatment, because it’s very expensive; you cannot wait and sit in the corner of the room, crying and begging for mercy, because people don’t have time. So the only thing that I could do was to accept myself the way I was, the sooner the better.
「你不能等奇蹟來了再走路,你不能等著幹細胞治療,因為它非常昂貴,你不能坐在房間的角落,哭哭啼啼地乞求憐憫,別人沒那麼多時間。我唯一能做的就是接受現在的我,越快越好。
That’s what I did. I really wanted to make myself financially strong: let’s become professional! I started to find some jobs. A very good friend of mine found a status on Facebook saying, 「We want content writers,」 and like a cribber I commented, 「I wish I could.」
我就是這麼做的。我十分想讓自己在經濟上變得強大,讓我重回職場吧!於是我開始找工作。我的一個非常好的朋友在Facebook上發現了一個狀態:「我們需要內容作者。」像一個作弊者似的, 我評論道,「希望我可以」。
I was called for that interview, and I was hired as one of the content writers for Pakistan’s first official websites, heartofasiapk – Salmaan Taseer was the CEO. That’s how I started my professional career.
我接到了面試通知,我被聘為巴基斯坦首批官方網站的內容寫手之一,heartofasiapk - Salmaan Taseer是執行長。我就這樣開始了我的職業生涯。
So I was becoming financially strong, stable; content writing was good. I was constantly exhibiting my work in different galleries, I was flourishing as an artist. Life was easy, but I wasn’t happy. I was not contented, because I was constantly aiming; I was constantly aiming high, I was thinking big.
所以我的經濟狀況變得很好、很穩定;內容寫作很好。我經常在不同畫廊展出我的作品,作為一個藝術家,我非常成功。生活很容易,但我並不快樂。我不滿足,因為我一直在瞄準目標,志存高遠,雄心勃勃。
I didn’t know what or how I am going to do, but I knew I want to do something big for people, for the country. One day, I came across this polio-campaign-advertisement image, this little boy from a very underprivileged family, he’s sitting on a wheelchair, and with his father sitting with him, crying and saying to the world in that campaign,
我不知道我要做什麼,怎麼做,但我知道我要為人民,為國家做點大事。有一天,我看到了這個小兒麻痺症運動的廣告形象,這個小男孩來自一個非常貧困的家庭,他坐在輪椅上,和他的父親坐在一起,在運動中哭著對全世界說,
「Give polio drops to your kids! Otherwise they will become like him.」 That advertisement shook me from inside. I felt devastated. The way that boy was objectified as an emblem of grief, misery, mercy, lifelessness, nothingness – such a wrong picture, which was being portrayed in the media about the persons with disabilities.
「把小兒麻痺症藥水給你的孩子!否則他們就會像他一樣。」這則廣告讓我震驚。我感到震驚。那個男孩被物化為悲傷、不幸、憐憫、無生機、虛無的象徵——這是媒體對殘疾人所描繪的一幅錯誤的畫面。
That’s what we are called. That was a day when I decided that I had to change the perception of the people about being on a wheelchair. Because being on a wheelchair, you can still face the world with a big smile on your face, and you can tell the world that you’re happy the way you are.
這就是外界對我們的印象。在那一天,我決定改變人們對坐輪椅的看法。因為坐在輪椅上,你仍然可以面帶微笑地面對世界,你可以告訴世界你是快樂的。
No one has the right to objectify us as an emblem of misery or mercy. We are human beings: we breathe, we have souls, we are alive, we feel.
沒有人有權利把我們物化為痛苦或仁慈的象徵。我們是人:我們呼吸,我們有靈魂,我們活著,我們有感覺。
We don’t need your sympathies, we don’t need your empathy. Let us live! No one has the right to 「dis- our abilities.」 We’re capable enough to breathe and to live each and every moment of our lives.
我們不需要被同情,我們真實的活著!沒有人有權利「否定我們的能力」。「我們有足夠的能力去呼吸,去度過生命中的每一刻。
I recently did a modeling campaign for Tony&Guy, and that makes me Pakistan’s first wheelchair-bound model. I’m grand ambassador of the Body Shop Pakistan, and I am one of the very lucky Pond’s Miracle Women.
我最近為Tony&Guy做了一個模特活動,這使我成為巴基斯坦第一個坐在輪椅上的模特。我是巴基斯坦美體小鋪的大使,我是幸運池塘裡的神奇女人之一。
It’s always good to know that there are very few wheelchair-bound artists in the world, and I am proud to be one, being a Pakistani, trying to preserve the ethnic jewels of the country and the paintings adorned by very graceful, strong and powerful Pakistani women, which I paint.
我知道世界上坐輪椅的藝術家很少,我為自己是其中的一員感到自豪,作為一個巴基斯坦人,我努力保護這個國家的民族瑰寶,保護那些由優雅、強壯、有力量的巴基斯坦婦女所裝飾的繪畫,我就是這樣畫的。
Very soon I am going to be Pakistan’s first wheelchair-bound TV ho.st And I am blessed to have a beautiful three-year-old son, which, like, he was here, but he was so cranky.
很快,我將成為巴基斯坦第一個坐在輪椅上的電視女郎。我和st有幸有一個漂亮的三歲的兒子,他就在這兒,但是他脾氣不好。
Now you all must be thinking why I am using the word 「wheelchair」 over and over again in my talk. This is the very perspective I am talking about. This wheelchair is not my weakness. This wheelchair is not an adversity. This is my strength because of the kind of attention I get when I go anywhere is priceless. Everyone loves to be in the limelight. I have started to enjoy being in the limelight too.
現在你們一定在想,為什麼我在演講中反覆使用「輪椅」這個詞。這正是我想說的點。輪椅不是我的弱點,它不是逆境,而是我的力量,因為無論我走到哪裡,都會得到無價的關注。每個人都喜歡成為焦點,我也開始享受成為眾人矚目的焦點。
This is the very perspective I am talking about. This wheelchair has given me an opportunity to explore what I had in me and I never knew it. I feel really sorry for some people who play this blame game. They say they feel caged. They cannot perform well, they cannot excel, because the system isn’t allowing them to do: the government, Pakistan, the whole world.
這正是我所說的觀點。這把輪椅給了我一個機會去探索我的內在,而我未曾知道。我很同情那些推卸責任的人。他們說感覺自己被關在籠子裡,因此他們無法表現得很好,無法出類拔萃,因為體制不允許他們這樣做:政府,巴基斯坦,整個世界。
Society, economy is not letting them grow as a person. They’re not excelling in their careers. They say they are caged. I feel sorry. I can undoubtedly say that I am caged, because when I get up in the morning, I am unable to sit on my own.
社會,經濟不讓他們作為一個人成長。他們在事業上並不出色。他們說自己被關住了。我很遺憾,因為我可以毫無疑問地說,我是被關在籠子裡的,因為當我早上起來的時候,我不能獨自坐著。
I am unable to shift from the bed to the wheelchair, from the wheelchair to the car, from the car to the wheelchair – I need an assistant, 24/7, to do little things in life. Let’s make it more simple.
我不能從床上移到輪椅上,從輪椅移到汽車上,從汽車移到輪椅上——我需要一個助手,7天24小時的去幫我做這些小事。簡單點說,
When I feel thirsty at midnight, and when I forget, which I always do – and I forget to keep my water bottle on my nightstand and I don’t see anyone around to help me, I stay thirsty for the whole night because I’m unable to get a glass of water for myself. I can undoubtedly say that I’m caged by my body, but my mind is free. And so is my soul and so is my spirit.
半夜口渴時,當我忘記了——我總是忘記——把水瓶放在我的床頭柜上,周圍也沒有人幫我,我渴著呆了一整夜,因為我無法為自己倒一杯水。我可以毫無疑問地說,我被我的身體困住了,但我的思想是自由的。我的靈魂如此,我的精神也如此。
I can still dream big. I can still think big. I can still aim high. I can still aspire to inspire. Nothing should stop me. This wheelchair shouldn’t be the reason or an excuse of not doing anything in life. I still have big dreams. I still have big plans and still have to work on that.
我仍然可以有遠大的夢想。我還能想大事。我仍然可以瞄準更高的目標。我仍然渴望激勵他人。沒有什麼能阻止我。輪椅不應該成為生活中無所事事的理由或藉口。我仍然有大大的夢想。我仍然有宏偉的計劃,而且還得為之努力。
Be grateful for what you have, and, trust me, you will always end up having more. And if you cry, and if you crib for the little things in your life, you will never ever have enough.
感激你所擁有的,相信我,你將永遠擁有更多。如果你哭泣,如果你為生活中的小事而哭泣,你將永遠不會滿足。
You want to excel? You want to grow? You want to be powerful and passionate and great professionals? Learn the art of converting your adversities into opportunities. The moment you are going to learn it, the sky is the limit. So be grateful, be happy, be alive, and don’t let anyone 「dis- your abilities.」
你想出人頭地?你想成長?你想成為強大的、充滿激情的、偉大的專業人士嗎?學會將逆境轉化為機遇的藝術。只要你開始學習,你就前途無量。所以,要心存感激,要快樂,要活得精彩,不要讓任何人「否定你的能力」。
Thank you.
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