very short funny quotes
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it."
"I don’t have a bucket list, but my to-do list is a mile long."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
very short funny quotes about life
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode.
Life is like a box of chocolates; it's full of nuts.
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Why be moody when you can shake your booty?
funny crazy quotes
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I'm not crazy; I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
funny crazy quotes about life
"Life is like a box of chocolates; it's full of nuts."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just passionately expressing why I'm right."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Always borrow money from a pessimist; he won't expect it back."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
extremely funny quotes
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."
"I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
funny sayings for adults
"I'm not arguing; I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"Wine improves with age. I improve with wine."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do."
"I don't have a beer belly; I have a protective layer for my organs."
"Common sense is like deodorant—the people who need it most never use it."
"I'm not getting older, I'm just becoming a classic."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
short funny quotes with pictures
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries."
short funny smile quotes
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Smiling is my favorite exercise—it's free and it confuses people.
Keep smiling; it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.
A smile is the best way to get through a bad hair day.
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm smiling.
Smile, because it's easier than explaining why you're sad.
I smile because I have no idea what's going on.
A smile confuses an approaching frown.
Smiling: the universal language of awkward situations.