一、我不是不想好好的工作學習，只是每次放下手機一會兒，它就會吃醋，害的我不得不去哄它幾個小時。
I do not want to work and study well, but every time put down the phone for a while, it will be jealous, harm I have to coax it for a few hours.
二、現在的人真是虛偽，總是說自己過得多麼的不如意，可是每次稱體重的時候就又胖了幾斤。
Now the person is really hypocritical, always say oneself lead how unsatisfactory, but every time weigh weight of time again fat a few jins.
三、你知道你最應該自豪的一件事情是什麼嗎？就是「王健林都沒有我的微信，但是你有」。
Do you know what you should be most proud of? Wang jianlin doesn't have my WeChat, but you do.
四、其實我以前是個敲可愛的女生，只是由於力度沒掌握好，用力過猛一不小心就把可愛給敲死了，所以後來就變成了沙雕。
In fact, I used to be a knock lovely girl, but because the strength did not grasp well, hard too hard accidentally knock lovely dead, so later it became a sand sculpture.
五、請你去找一個能讓你開懷大笑的人吧，這一點我真的做不到，我只能把你美哭。
Please find someone who can make you laugh, I really can't do that, I can only make you cry.
六、那個誰，我發現自從我們在一起之後，我就活得越來越不像我自己了，我覺得我現在比較像你的老婆。
That who, I found since we were together, I live more and more like myself, I think I now more like your wife.
七、好吧，我現在承認我朋友圈那些照片都是假的，都是P的，其實我本人更可愛！
Well, I now admit that those photos of my circle of friends are fake, are All P, in fact, I am more lovely!
八、今天別人問我怎樣用一句話來證明你是單生狗？我：「電動車後座上都是灰」。
I was asked how to prove in one sentence that you are an unaccompanied child. Me: "The back seat of an electric car is covered in ash."
九、夏天穿人字拖最大的悲哀是什麼？大概就是出門買菜被別人踩了一腳，突然發現人字沒了，但是那個還在。
What's the biggest tragedy about summer flip-flops? Probably is to go out to buy food was stepped on a foot, suddenly found that the word was gone, but that is still in.
十、學生時代有一種美好的友誼是什麼？「陪我去小賣部，不想去；去吧，我請你，好，走吧」。
What is a good friendship when you are a student? "Come with me to the refreshment; Go on, I'll treat you. All right, come on."
十一、我現在已經到了那種為怎樣花錢而發愁的境界了；我就想問問大家：「這十塊錢，怎麼支撐到下個月」？
I have come to the point now where I worry about how to spend my money; I just want to ask you: "How can I last this $10 till next month?"
十二、已經二十多年了，就算月老是在任意點人，也應該輪到我了吧？
Has been more than 20 years, even if the old is in any point, it should be my turn?
十三、相信大家小時候都有一個超人夢吧，我告訴你們，長大後的我實現了這個夢想，現在每天上班一個人幹八個人的活，我可真是個超人呢。
I believe you all had a superman dream when you were a child, I tell you, I grew up to realize this dream, now every day to work a person to do the work of eight people, I am really a superman.
十四、我就想問問朋友圈的各位，為什麼不找我聊天，我可是為了你們專門學的打字。
I would like to ask everyone in the circle of friends, why don't you chat with me, But I learn to type for you.
十五、我現在鄭重的對著你們發誓，為了減肥，我以後再也不會喝奶茶了，如果我要是違法規定，那麼就讓我認識的你們胖十斤，嘻嘻！
I solemnly swear to you now, in order to reduce weight, I will never drink milk tea, if I should break the law, so let me know you fat ten jin, hee hee!
會持續更新更多美文圖片
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