英文部分選自經濟學人20190907期Obituary版塊
Obituary：Jan Ruff O』Herne
訃告：揚·魯夫·奧赫恩
Cries from a handkerchief
素帕之呼
Jan Ruff O』Herne, war-rape victim of the Imperial Japanese Army, died on August 19th, aged 96
二戰時日軍「慰安婦」制度的受害者，揚·魯夫·奧赫恩，於8月19日逝世，享年96歲
All sorts of obcts lay in Jan Ruff O』Herne’s dressing table drawer. A necklace of dark amber beads. Silver work from Java where she had been brought up, the daughter of Dutch colonialists. A belt embroidered with tulips from the country she had never seen until after the war. Costume jewellery, gloves, lotions and potions. Her daughters Eileen and Carol loved to riffle through the drawer as children, and she gladly let them. The things often summoned up her Java stories of gamelans, sate-sellers, cicadas and warm rain. But when one day they found the embroidered white handkerchief folded at the bottom she snatched it away.
揚·魯夫·奧赫恩出身於荷蘭一個殖民者家庭，從小在爪哇島長大，直到二戰結束才首次回到祖國。她的梳妝檯抽屜裡擺著各種各樣的東西：一條深琥珀色珠子項鍊、爪哇島的銀器、一條繡有荷蘭鬱金香的腰帶、廉價珠寶、手套、乳液和藥水。女兒艾琳和卡羅爾打小就喜歡翻媽媽的這個抽屜，她也任由著孩子們翻。抽屜裡的東西總是會勾起她對爪哇島的回憶：甘美蘭音樂、沙嗲小販、鳴蟬和溫暖的雨水。可當有一天兩個女兒在抽屜底部發現一條疊好的繡花白手帕時，她卻一把搶過手帕。
註：
1. 沙嗲（sate/satai）是傳統馬來美食——醃好的牛肉、羊肉、雞肉串成串以適度的火候炭烤後，最重要的就是要蘸一層厚厚的沙嗲醬一起入口。（維基百科和百度百科）
2. 甘美蘭（Gamelan），為印度尼西亞歷史最悠久的一種民族音樂形式，爪哇島的甘美蘭合奏尤為著名。
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That was a rare moment, in 50 years of silence, when her secret was almost out. Other things she could disguise as phobias. Her unease when night fell, and she had to draw the living-room curtains. Her terror of going to doctors, even when she was quite ill. And, perhaps hardest to explain, her dislike of flowers. On her birthday she would beg friends and family not to give her any. They were such a waste of money, so soon over.
她沉默了整整50年。50年來，這樣險些暴露秘密的時刻少之又少。一般的事兒，她尚可以用恐懼症掩蓋：比如，每當夜幕降臨，她就會感到不安，必須拉下客廳的窗簾；她害怕看醫生，即使病得很厲害也不願去。不過，或許最難以解釋的是，她討厭鮮花。過生日時，她對親人朋友千叮嚀萬囑咐，哪怕是一枝花都不要送給她。她會說買花太浪費錢，而且花很快就枯萎了。
But this was not the reason. Flowers reminded her of the day in 1944, in a rambling house in Semarang, when she and six other Dutch-Indonesian girls realised that the place they had been abducted to was a Japanese military brothel. The Japanese had invaded Indonesia two years before, driving all the Dutch settlers into labour camps where they were kept in squalor, close to starvation. But this degradation was new. She and her companions, all virgins, so innocent, had been plucked from their camp to service queues of impatient army officers. To aid selection in the brothel, the names of flowers were pinned to their bedroom doors. She was also given a vase of white orchids which, in fear and disgust, she threw away. Ever after, she hated to be given flowers.
但這並不是她討厭花真正的原因。花總是讓她想起1944年的那一天，她和其他六名荷蘭裔印尼女孩被強行帶到三寶壟一間凌亂的房子後才意識到，這是一家日本慰安所。兩年前，日本入侵印度尼西亞。日軍把所有的荷蘭裔居民趕進了勞動集中營，虐待囚犯，還令他們食不果腹。從那天開始，這些女孩遭遇的凌辱則更為卑劣。她和她的同伴都還是處女之身，清白純潔，卻被人從集中營裡拖出來，當那些暴躁軍官們的性奴隸。為了方便軍官選擇，在慰安所裡，她們的隔間門上釘了各種花名。他們給她一瓶潔白的蘭花，在恐懼和厭惡中，被她扔掉。自那以後，她就討厭別人送她鮮花。
As night fell, the first officer came to her room. He was bald, fat and repulsively ugly. When she wept, screamed and kicked him, crying 「Don’t!」 in all the languages she knew, he simply laughed. Then he unsheathed his sword. As she huddled and prayed, expecting to be killed at any moment, he let the sword-tip wander over her body, up and down, up and down, before ripping off what was left of her clothes and raping her.
夜幕降臨，第一位軍官來到她的房中。那人相貌醜陋、大腹便便，還有些禿頂。當她尖叫著反抗，拼命踢打，用自己所知的所有語言哀嚎著「不要」的時候，那人只是哈哈大笑。隨後他拔出了刀，刀尖在她身上遊走，上上下下，來來回回，把那些為數不多的蔽體衣物統統剝去，然後強姦了她。
She never imagined suffering like this. It seemed he would never stop. But physical hurt was only part of it. Far worse was the shame. She could not have helped it, he was too heavy. But her pure young body, the body she had been planning to dedicate to Christ as a Catholic nun, had been destroyed. Her dignity and self-esteem were lost. In the bathroom afterwards, with the other sobbing and destroyed girls, she tried to wash off the soiling, but it stayed. Desperate, the girls tried to hide in the garden, but they were dragged out to be raped by more officers. It might have been ten times that night, and the next night, for three months. The brothel doctor raped them, too. Ever after, she feared both doctors and the dark.
她從未想過自己會遭此虐待。沒完沒了的欺辱摧殘著她的身體，然而，身體遭受的苦難是次要的，內心的恥辱才是真正的煎熬。碩大的身軀壓在身上，令她無法反抗。可憐她那年輕純潔的身體，原本準備成為天主教修女，把它獻給基督，卻慘遭玷汙。她的尊嚴和自尊蕩然無存。事後在衛生間，其他被糟蹋的女孩也在那裡愴然淚下；她拼命想要衝走那種羞恥髒汙，卻怎麼也洗不掉。絕望無助的女孩們躲在花園裡，卻又被拽出來，來滿足更多軍官的獸慾。那一晚，同樣的戕害也許發生了十次，而後的每一晚，一連三個月都是如此。就連那裡的醫生也強姦了她們。從那之後，她就害怕黑暗，也害怕醫生。
Yet she also feared the light. It was too hard to reveal this. She buried it deep in shame, and so did those closest to her. When she was reunited with her mother in the labour camp, lying tearful with relief in the hollow of her arms, and her mother stroked her bald head, bald because she had cut off her hair in a bid to make the officers avoid her, she briefly told her. Her mother could not cope with it, and they said nothing more. She told a priest, since she still hoped to be a nun, but he deflected her as something sullied. When she met Tom Ruff, the British soldier who became her husband, she spoke of it once, then never again. She longed to scream out the details of what had been done to her, but instead she was expected to get on with life as though nothing had.
然而，她也害怕光明。這段經歷實在太難啟齒。她將它深深地埋在心底，那些她最親近的人也一樣。當她回到集中營，與母親團聚時，她如釋重負般地倒在母親懷裡，淚如雨下。母親輕撫她的光頭。曾經的秀髮早已不見，是她自己剪的。她想要通過這種方式讓那些軍官遠離她。她簡要跟母親談了自己的遭遇，母親不知怎麼回答，於是她們再也沒提起這件事。她內心仍想成為一名修女，便向一位牧師傾訴了自己的遭遇，牧師卻因她的不潔之身而對她敬而遠之。後來，揚遇到了湯姆•拉夫（Tom Ruff），並與這名英國士兵結了婚。她向自己的丈夫也提起過一次自己的遭遇，從此閉口不談。在她內心，她想要怒吼，揭露那些禽獸的暴行，然而世人卻希望她當作什麼事也沒有發生。
In a way, she succeeded. She and Tom married and moved happily to Adelaide. She did not want sex, but bore it, and after surgery to mend her she had her daughters. Their house was full of music, and she sang in choirs. When Tom became an invalid, her faith helped her bear that. Outwardly she was smiling and serene. Inside was another story. All kinds of things reminded her, but especially the handkerchief in the drawer. A woman at the camp had passed it to her as she left for Semarang, and on the veranda of the brothel one evening, as they waited for that dreaded dark, she had asked the six other girls to sign it. Miep, Gerda, Els, Annie, Betty and Lies had written their names in pencil and she had sewn over them. Sometimes she would hold it to her face and cry.
在某種程度上，她的這種願望實現了。結婚後，她和湯姆搬到了阿德萊德（澳大利亞聯邦南澳大利亞州的首府），過上了幸福的生活。她畏懼床笫之歡，但還是勉為其難，經過生殖器官修復手術後還生下了兩個女兒。他們的家總是充滿音樂，她自己也在唱詩班裡唱歌。之後她的丈夫身患殘疾，是信仰幫她渡過難關。對外人，她總是面帶微笑，面容平靜，但她的內心深處卻是另一番景象。所有的事情都會讓她想起那段可怕的往事，尤其是抽屜裡的那塊方手帕。手帕是她離開集中營去三寶壟時一位營中婦女給她的。有天晚上，她和其他六個女孩在慰安所的長廊等待那可怕的黑暗時刻，她請她們用鉛筆把名字籤在手帕上：米爾普、格爾達、埃爾斯、安妮、貝蒂、萊斯。之後她用針線按字跡繡了一遍。有時候，她會捧著這塊手帕掩面痛哭。
Then in 1992, when she was almost 70, God suddenly set her life-task before her. Three elderly Korean war-rape victims spoke out on television and inspired her to do the same. If she backed them up, adding her European voice to theirs, they might together get Japan’s attention. The only hard part of her decision was that she had to tell her daughters the secret first. She could not do so face to face. Instead she wrote two copies of what she called 「Cry of the Raped」, stuffed them into envelopes and left them to be read. But the deed was done. She could let her awful secret out to the world now, not as a 「comfort woman」—how she hated that insulting, cuddly name—not as an angry victim seeking revenge, but as a calmly spoken witness who wanted Japan to admit what its soldiers had done to perhaps 200,000 women like herself.
時間到了1992年，上帝忽然派給了年近70的她一項終生使命。三位年歲已高的韓國慰安婦受害者在電視上講述了她們的遭遇，這讓她備受鼓舞。如果她這個歐洲人的聲音加入其中，聲援那三位受害者，也許就能引起日本的注意。唯一阻礙她下定決心的是她得先向自己的女兒袒露秘密。她沒法當面告訴兩個女兒，轉而寫了兩份她稱之為「受強姦者的控訴」的信，塞進了信封，讓女兒們以這種方式了解她的過去。木已成舟。現在，她可以向世人公開那個可怕的秘密了，不是作為一名「慰安婦」——她討厭這個侮辱曖昧的稱呼——也不是作為一名尋求復仇的憤怒受害者，而是作為一名冷靜的見證者，希望日本能夠承認當年日軍對20萬像她一樣的婦女犯下的罪行。
Released and relieved, she addressed a war-crimes hearing in Tokyo, gave testimony to Congress and, whenever victims gathered, hugged and encouraged them. They won some compensation, though she herself would not accept it, since Japan’s right-wing government still refused to make a full apology. Now that the story was out, the case for one was overwhelming.
如釋重負的她在東京的戰爭罪行聽證會上發言，向日本國會作證。每當受害者們發起集會，她也會給予他們鼓勵和擁抱。聽證會的結果是她們獲得了些許賠償，但她個人卻不能接受，因為日本右翼政府仍然拒絕正式道歉。這個秘密既然已經公之於眾，要求日本政府正式道歉的呼聲不絕於耳。
Time and again she thought of the passage from Ephesians 5 which Sister Xavier had made her learn at school, when she had tried to cheat in an exam: 「The things which are done in secret are things that people are ashamed even to speak of; but anything exposed by the light will be illuminated, and anything illuminated turns into light.」 So it had proved. And the white handkerchief, too, had left the darkness of the drawer. She had given it to the Australian War Memorial, where it stood on display and shone: seven testifying, suffering names to speak for all the others.
她時常會想起《以弗所書》第五章中的一段。那是上學的時候，她考試想作弊時澤維爾修女命令她學習的：「因為他們暗中所行的，就是提起來也是可恥的。凡事受了責備，就被光顯明出來，因為一切能顯明的就是光。」事實證明，的確如此。那方白手帕也離開了黑暗的抽屜。它被交給了澳大利亞戰爭紀念館，作為一項展品閃閃發光：七個受害者的親筆籤名，為所有慰安婦作證。
註：《聖經》段落譯文參考中文版《聖經》。
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