背 影 The Sight of Father’s Back
[作者] 朱自清
[譯文] 張培基
我與父親不相見已二年餘了，我最不能忘記的是他的背影。那年冬天，祖母死了，父親的差使也交卸了，正是禍不單行的日子，我從北京到徐州，打算跟著父親奔喪回家。到了徐州見著父親，看見滿院狼藉的東西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼淚。父親說：「事已如此，不必難過，好在天無絕人之路！」
It is more than two years since I last saw father, and what I can never
forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In the
winter of more than two years ago, grandma died and father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home to attend
grandma’s funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou, the sight of the
disorderly mess in his courtyard and the thought of grandma started
tears trickling down my cheeks. Father said, 「Now that things've
come to such a pass, it’s no use crying. Fortunately, Heaven always
leaves one a way out.」
回家變賣典質，父親還了虧空；又借了錢辦了喪事。這些日子，家中光景很是慘澹，一半為了喪事，一半為了父親的賦閒。喪事完畢，父親要到南京謀事，我也要回到北京念書，我們便同行。
After arriving home in Yangzhou, father paid off debts by selling or
pawning things. He also borrowed money to meet the funeral expenses. Between grandma’s funeral and father’s unemployment, our
family was then in reduced circumstances. After the funeral was over,
father was to go to Nanjing to look for a job and I was to return to
Beijing to study, so we started out together.
到南京時，有朋友約去遊逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便須渡江到浦口，下午上車北去。父親因為事忙，本已說定不送我，叫旅館裡一個熟識的茶房陪我同去。他再三囑咐茶房，甚是仔細。但他終於不放心，怕茶房不妥貼，頗躊躇了一會。其實那年我已二十歲，北京來往過兩三次，是沒有甚麼要緊的了。他躊躇了一會，終於決定還是自己送我去。我兩三回勸他不必去；他只說，「不要緊，他們去不好！」
I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtse River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the
same day. Father said he was too busy to go and see me off at the
railway station, but would ask a hotel waiter that he knew to accompany me there instead. He urged the waiter again and again to take good
care of me, but still did not quite trust him. He hesitated for quite a
while about what to do. As a matter of fact, nothing would matter at all because I was then twenty and had already traveled on Beijing-Pukou
Railway a couple of times. After some wavering, he finally decided that he himself would accompany me to the station. I repeatedly tried to talk him out of it, but he only said, 「Never mind! It won’t do to trust guys
like those hotel boys!」
我們過了江，進了車站。我買票，他忙著照看行李。行李太多了，得向腳夫行些小費，才可過去。他便又忙著和他們講價錢。我那時真是太聰明過分，總覺得他說話不大漂亮，非得自己插嘴不可。但他終於講定了價錢；就送我上車。他給我揀定了靠車門的一張椅子；我將他給我做的紫毛大衣鋪好坐位。他囑我路上小心，夜裡要警醒些，不要受涼。又囑託茶房好好照應我。我心裡暗笑他的迂；他們只認得錢，託他們直是白託！而且我這樣大年紀的人，難道還不能料理自己嗎？唉，我現在想想，那時真是太聰明了！
We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at
the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage. There was quite a bit of luggage and he had to bargain with the porter over the
fee. I was then such a smart aleck that I frowned upon the way father
was haggling and was on the verge of chipping in a few words when
the bargain was finally clinched. Getting on the train with me, he picked me a seat close to the carriage door. I spread on the seat the brownish
fur-lined overcoat he had got tailor made for me. He told me to be
watchful on the way and be careful not to catch cold at night. he also asked the train attendants to take good care of me. I sniggered at father for being so impractical, for it was utterly useless to entrust me to those attendants, who cared for nothing but money. Besides, it was certainly
no problem for a person of my age to look after himself. Oh, when I
come to think of it, I can see how smarty I was in those days!
我說道，「爸爸，你走吧。」他望車外看了看，說，「我買幾個橘子去。你就在此地，不要走動。」我看那邊月臺的柵欄外有幾個賣東西的的等著顧客。走到那邊月臺，須穿過鐵道，須跳下去又爬上去。父親是一個胖子，走過去自然要費些事。我本來要去的，他不肯，只好讓他去。我看見他戴著黑布小帽。穿著黑布大馬褂，深青布棉袍，蹣跚在走到鐵道邊，慢慢探身下去，尚不大難。可是他穿過鐵道，要爬上那邊月臺，就不容易了。他用兩手攀著上面，兩腳再向上縮；他肥胖的身子向左微傾，顯出努力的樣子。這時我看見他的的背影，我眼淚很快地流下來了。我趕緊拭乾了淚，怕他看見，也怕別人看見。我再向外看時，他已抱了朱紅的橘子往回走了。過鐵道時，他先將橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。到這邊時，我趕緊去攙他。他和我走到車上，將橘子一股腦兒放在我的皮大衣上。於是撲撲衣上泥土，心裡很輕鬆似的，過了一會說，「我走了；到那邊來信！」我望著他走出去。他走了幾步，回過頭看見我，說，「進去吧，裡邊沒人。」等他的背影混入來來往往的人裡，再找不著了，我便進來坐下，我的眼淚又來了。
I said, 「Dad, you might leave now.」 But he looked out of window and
said, 「I'm going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don't move around.」 I caught sight of several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and
down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted
to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let
him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black
skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded
cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track,
but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after
crossing the railway track. His hands held onto the upper part of the
platform, his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was
watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped
them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next moment
when I looked out of the window again, father was already on the way
back, holding bright red tangerinesin both hands. In crossing the
railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down
slowly and then picked them up again. When he came near the train, I
hurried out to help him by the hand. After boarding the train with me,
he laid all the tangerines on my overcoat, and patting the dirt off his
clothes, he looked somewhat relieved and said after a while, 「I must be going now. Don’t forget to write me from Beijing!」 I gazed after his
back retreating out of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said, 「Go back to your seat. Don’t leave your things alone.」 I, however, did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost among
crowds of people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes
were again wet with tears.
近幾年來，父親和我都是東奔西走，家中的光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外謀生，獨力支持，做了許多大事。那知老境卻如此頹唐！他觸目傷懷，自然不能自己。情鬱於中，自然要發之於外；家庭瑣屑便往往觸他之怒。他待我漸漸不同往日。但最近兩年的不見，他終於忘卻我的不好，只是惦記著我，惦記著我的兒子。我北來後，他寫了一信給我，信中說道，「我身體平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，舉箸提筆，諸多不便，大約大去之期不遠矣。」我讀到此處，在晶瑩的淚光中，又看見那肥胖的，青布馬褂的背影。唉！我不知何時再能與他相見！
In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and
the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse. Father left
home to seek a livelihood when young and did achieve quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry, and meanwhile he became less and less nice with me. However, the separation of
the last two years has made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps
thinking about me and my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a
letter, in which he says. 「I’m all right except for a severe pain in my
arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.」 Through the glistening
tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long
gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again.