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揮舞翅膀 四處飛翔
Bum buttery, flit fluttery Dum diddly-ooh
藍知更鳥 盡情歌唱
Bum buttery, bluebird Is singing a tune
水仙醒來 讚頌陽光
Daffy-down-dillies awaken And prune
嫵媚多嬌 百花盛放
Bursting in bloom All the flowers assume
可愛春天 多麼美妙
It's a loverly, loverly spring
小精靈
花慄鼠呀 嘰嘰喳喳
Chit-chattery chipmunks All singing along
擁抱春天 一齊歡唱
Humming their Join-in-a-spring-along song
春天來到 放聲歌唱
Spring is the springiest time For a song
歌頌春天多美妙
It's a loverly, loverly spring
森林之中 野兔為伴 玩耍整日
In the forest we play With the rabbits all day--
抱歉掃興了
I'm sorry to say
接下來的電影與這些情節無關
that this is not the movie you will be watching.
大家即將看到的電影可一點也不夢幻
The movie you are about to see is extremely unpleasant.
如果你想看快樂的小精靈
If you wish to see a film about a happy little elf,
那麼請您移步去隔壁的放映廳
I'm sure there is still plenty of seating in theater number two.
但是 如果你喜歡聽有關
However, if you like stories about clever
聰明迷人的孤兒
and reasonably attractive orphans,
令人生疑的火災 食肉的水蛭
suspicious fires, carnivorous leeches,
義大利菜以及神秘組織的故事
Italian food and secret organizations,
那麼請你留步
then stay
待我慢慢回顧
as I retrace each and every one
波德萊爾家孩子們的辛酸歷程
of the Baudelaire children's woeful steps.
我名叫雷蒙尼·斯尼奇
My name is Lemony Snicket,
很不幸 我要記錄這樣一個故事
and it is my sad duty to document this tale.
長女維奧萊特·波德萊爾
Violet Baudelaire, the eldest,
是十四歲這個年齡段裡最好的發明家之一
was one of the finest 14-year-old inventors in the world.
所有熟識維奧萊特的人
Anyone who knew Violet
都知道 她用絲帶紮起長發之際
well could tell she was inventing something
便是她發明創造之時
when her long hair was tied up in a ribbon.
維奧萊特知道 在這個充滿
In a world of abandoned items and discarded materials,
廢棄物品的世界裡 有一些東西
Violet knew there was always something.
總能為她所用 她會將其華麗地製成
Something she could fashion into nearly any device
任意一樣應景的工具
for nearly every occasion.
她有一個測試新發明的最佳人選
And no one was better to test her inventions
那就是她弟弟
than her brother.
次子克勞斯·波德萊爾 愛好閱讀
Klaus Baudelaire, the middle child, loved books.
更準確地說 他愛好書中學到的知識
Or, rather, the things he learned from books.
他家的豪宅裡有一個很大的圖書館
The Baudelaire parents had an enormous library in their mansion.
其中擁有數千本圖書 幾乎涵蓋每個學科
A room filled with thousands of books on nearly every subject.
克勞斯最愛幹的事
And nothing pleased Klaus more
莫過於花一整個下午
than spending an afternoon
從書中汲取知識
filling up his head with their contents.
他還有過目不忘的本事
And everything he read he remembered.
小女兒陽陽 有著一個異於常人的愛好
Sunny, the youngest, had a different interest.
有著四顆尖牙的她 喜歡咬東西
She liked to bite things and had four sharp teeth.
很少有她不愛咬的東西
There was very little that Sunny did not enjoy biting.
陽陽這個年齡的孩子
Sunny was at an age when one mostly speaks
說起話來就是幾聲怪叫
in a series of unintelligible shrieks.
比如說
For instance:
她可能是在說
Which probably meant,
看啊 大霧裡走來一個神秘的身影
''Look at that mysterious figure emerging from the fog. ''
也可能是在說
Or perhaps,
像波爾先生這樣一個銀行家
''What is a banker like Mr. Poe doing
怎麼會趟著沙子來布萊尼沙灘找我們
trudging thorough the sand to find us at Briny Beach?''
孩子們
Children,
很抱歉 有個極其不幸的消息
I'm afraid I must inform you of an extremely unfortunate event.
我對此事感到萬分遺憾
I'm very, very sorry to tell you this,
你們家的房屋被付之一炬
but your parents have perished in a fire
你們的父母在火災中罹難了
that's destroyed your entire home.
如果你曾失去過最親近的人
If you have ever lost someone very important to you,
那麼你應該知道那是什麼樣的感受
then you already know how it feels.
如果你尚未經歷過
And if you haven't,
你永遠也想像不出
you cannot possibly imagine it.
沒人知道這場大火的確切起因
No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire.
我和同事們已經盡最大努力調查了
My colleagues and I have investigated the best we can.
但我們只發現 火災源在
But all we've discovered is that the blaze
很遠很遠的地方
was started from a great distance
是因光的反射及聚合而起
through the refraction and convergence of light.
短短幾分鐘裡 整幢樓就被火焰吞噬了
And within moments, the entire mansion was in flames.
與火災起因同樣神秘的事物
And as mysterious as the source of the blaze,
開始慢慢地出現在孩子們的眼前
other mysteries began to unfold before the children's eyes.
每個家庭都有秘密 都有禁忌之地
Every family has its secrets, doors left unopened.
正像克勞斯所想
But as Klaus now realized,
最不起眼的發現
the smallest discovery
也會激起他無數的疑問
would send his mind reeling with questions.
父親書桌裡的望遠鏡是幹什麼用的
What was this spyglass hidden in his father's desk?
他們的父母
Were there other secrets
是否還有其他不為人知的秘密
about their parents' lives yet to be revealed?
他擔心這都是些無解之謎
Questions he now feared might never be answered.
於是
And just like that,
波德萊爾家的孩子們就此淪為孤兒
the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans.
別怪我沒警告你啊
I tried to warn you.
不想看這部影片 就馬上走出劇院或客廳
This is an excellent opportunity to walk out of the theater,
或者關掉機艙電視 機不可失啊
living room or airplane where this film is being shown.
現在去看快樂的小精靈還來得及
It's not too late to see a film about a happy little elf.
好了 跟我來
Yes. Come with me.
現在 作為賠償金管理局的負責人
Now, as chief officer of Mulctuary Management
以及你父母遺產的執行人
and the executor of your parents' estate,
在你們成年之前 在法律上
it is my legal obligation
我有義務替你們保管所繼承財物
to take care of your money till you come of age
並將你們託付給關係最近的親戚撫養
and to place you in the care of your closest relative.
現在 我送你們到奧拉夫伯爵家
So I'm taking you to live with your dear Count Olaf,
他就住在城裡 再過三十七個街區就到了
who resides right here in the city, just 37 blocks away.
這也叫"近"嗎
I don't think that's what ''closest'' is supposed to mean.
我們不認識什麼奧拉夫伯爵
We don't know a Count Olaf.
你們當然認識
Yes, yes, of course you do.
他要麼是你們四代相隔的三堂兄
He's either your third cousin four times removed
或者是三代相隔的四堂兄
or your fourth cousin three times removed.
他還是個演員 多好玩啊 孩子們
And he's an actor by trade. Isn't that exciting, children?
你們算是很幸運了
You should count yourselves lucky, children.
幹他這行的少有慷慨之人
This sort of generosity is rare in a person of his profession.
我們到了 你們的新家
Here we are, your new home.
是不是很漂亮啊
Isn't it lovely, children?
你好
Oh, hello.
你們一定是波德萊爾家的孩子們吧
You must be the Baudelaires.
你好
Hi.
得知出了那樣的事故 我很難過
I was so sorry to hear about the accident,
但聽聞你們要來 我很高興
but so happy to hear you were coming here.
歡迎你們 我是本市高級法院的施特勞斯法官
Welcome. I'm Justice Strauss of the city high court.
我是維奧萊特 這是我弟弟克勞斯 還有小妹妹陽陽
I'm Violet. And this is my brother, Klaus, and my sister, Sunny.
我是賠償金管理局的波爾 你好啊
Poe, Mulctuary Management. How do you do?
很好
Lovely.
你的房子真漂亮
Your house is so beautiful.
謝謝
Thank you.
別見外 隨時歡迎你們來做客
Please don't be strangers. You come visit me anytime you like.
-做客 -你是說
- Visit? - You mean,
你不和奧拉夫伯爵住一起嗎
you don't live with Count Olaf?
和奧拉夫伯爵一起住 不是的
Live with--? With Count Olaf? No.
不 不 不 他住我對面
No, no, no, no. He's-- He's my neighbor.
請進
Entrood.
我趕時間 你們快進去
Haven't got all day. In you go.
你們好 好 好 好
Well, hello, hello, hello.
我是你們敬愛的奧拉夫伯爵
I am your beloved Count Olaf.
歡迎來我可愛的小家
And welcome to my loverly home.
希望蔽舍如絲絨般舒適 能帶來如子宮般的溫暖
May you find solace within the womblike warmth of its. . .
撫慰你們的心靈
. . .Downy plume.
或者正如古希臘人所說
Or as the Greeks in the ancient times would say:
孤兒們
Orphanis. . .
多麼地不幸
. . .Encribo. . .
等等 等等 等等